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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-26450536

Luckily he did not meet a spider.

For those at work.

An Australian man has been rescued by police after getting lost in his own garden, while investigating what he thought was a wild dog, it's been reported.

The man, identified as "self-confessed idiot Jason", by Darwin's NT News, was eventually located 300m (330 yards) from his house. Jason says he had been watching TV and having a few beers when his dog became agitated. He thought he saw a dingo and went outside into his 8ha (20 acre) property to look for it.

But soon he was lost in the scrub, wearing only shorts, with a phone fast running out of battery. "I don't even know how it happened," Jason says. "I turned to come back and all of a sudden I was in long grass. I just thought 'Where the bloody hell am I?'"

He called the emergency operator, but was rebuffed by a dispatcher who said the situation was not an emergency. Police eventually found him uninjured - except for a few scratches and a mass of midge bites.

Jason says he's grateful to police and neighbours for rescuing him. But comments on the NT News site are less forgiving, with one person using the catch-all Australian insult "Drongo".

Looking for a dingo, eh?

Man, I feel like I should mock him, but at the same time Australia is like the last place I'd want to get lost in.

Last month my GF and I got lost in her fathers backyard in Australia. Luckily we found a hermit man living in the outback or we would be dead right now. Sun Burnt, dehydrated, no phones. We where lost on a 40 degree day too. It got to the point where I got her to rest and just yelled at what looked to be netting in the distance. I heard a faint "huh?!" in the distance. Some half naked Austrian elderly man hacked his way to towards us to find out what the noise was haha. Drunk so much of his water. Luckily some social service workers drove to his house to check he was still alive and we trekked for hours through country road and made it back.

Now im back in NZ and am never taking risks in the wilderness again. Its so easy to get lost.

So dont mock. Its actually pretty easy to do.

I can only try to imagine what Australia must be like.

 daedalus wrote:
I can only try to imagine what Australia must be like.

I have heard the term 'hell' used, but it really doesn't compare to that tbh.

 Krellnus wrote:

 daedalus wrote:
I can only try to imagine what Australia must be like.

I have heard the term 'hell' used, but it really doesn't compare to that tbh.

Hell is where you go after you're dead.

Australia is how you get there!

Gotta love Australia

 daedalus wrote:
I can only try to imagine what Australia must be like.

Think "Catachan Jungle fighters". Turn conditions up to 11.

He's lucky. By all rights this should have been titled Australia: Man gets eaten in his own back garden

"Drongo" sounds like something they'd say in the Big Meg.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-26450536


My mind translated that article to 'Australian' as I read it. It flowed so much better than in English.

Isnt the reason Aussie has double the price of everything is they have t pay hazard pay for all the people delivering them?

This seems relevant...

Terry Pratchett wasn't joking when he based the counterweight continent of XXXX on Australia.

The line about DEATH wanting a list of all the dangerous animals on the continent and being buried in an avalanche of paper is soooo very true.

But you know what they say.

That which doesn't kill you, will make you an Australian.

Only in Australia would they call 20 acres a "back yard". Not only that but 20 acres of swamp and woodland by the sounds of it.

But then what they call a farm the rest of the world calls a small country.

It's also Darwin.
Capital of the northern Territory (not technically a state, which is why it doesn't have a "state" capital) and sparsely populated place. It's main purpose is to serve as an easy target for bombing crews and cyclones - it was bombed flat once and scrubbed clean by cyclones at least twice (and to service the local army and navy bases).
My brother lives up there. I hope he stays up there, too.

On the outskirts of Darwin, properties tend towards the larger and 20 acres is actually one of the middle sized ones (in larger cities a 1/4 acre block is considered the traditional home block)

He's lucky the dingos, giant worms, giant spiders, giamt ants, giant bats or giant marsupials didn't get him

The bats are probably the worst. One flew away with my 40k rule book once,I had to go on a jungle survival mission to get it back. And I'm a fat person here. The spiders are Pretty bad tough.
back on topic, I once got lost in my grandparents "yard" when I was six.

You would haver thought that with all the dangerous critters in Australia the bunnies wouldn't stand a chance. You see the good old English badger and fox is more than enough to keep the lupine horde firmly in check, the bunnies know who is boss and have to huddle on the moors hedges and Watership down cowering in fear.

Yet when a handful were imported to Australia, they run amok. Do the sharks eat them, no they have a good excuse though as rabbits are not known as fervent swimmers, but do the crocodiles? You would expect old Saltie to like a bit of rabbit every now and then, sadly not, they much prefer the fresh taste of Aussie. So what else can stop them? The average snake and spider has enough toxin to kill a thousand bunnies, but the bunnies still keep a' coming, they prefer to sit under porches deep down in beds or line boots. Deal with bunnies nah!

So it was up to the Australians themselves to deal with them.. So what do they do, the answer is to shoot them. That works over here with a good British farmer with his dog and shotgun, but the Aussie farmers were quickly overrun. So they resorted to traps, but they keep a' coming. In a panic the Australian government unleashed weapons of massed destruction like some junta in a bunker. Biiological weapons hit the rabbits hard, but being of stern lupine stock they took their plagues like a good bunny should and soldiered on; many fell but others took their place, with tested and battle hardened immune systems. Time to fall back, time to retreat!
So the Australians resorted to massive fences, a huge Maginot line - remember how that one worked - against the bunnies, but the clever critters just hopped round, or under.

I think the snakes are trying to tell you something, we have harmless grass snakes and almost harmless adders with a venom as weak as Budweiser, but they like some rabbit.
You have so many nasty slithery blighters which you freehandle on TV while the average pommie is unwilling to step foot outside the aircraft without armoured boots, but the rabbits keep a' coming.
Yet for all this the good old English rabbit is kicking your Australian backsides. Being a good Englishman I can go out into the fields see the lovely little bunnies hopping about, point at them tell them to 'listen chaps just hop it and behave yourselves' knowing that a mutual respect will be followed. Rats and mice also know the code. But in Australia no sooner is a barby lit and the beer out when its; 'Streuth! Where did those little didgers come from?" as the hopping horde bounds over the fences in league with seething masses of mice from under the footboards and ratties boiling out from in barns and warehouses. Kaninchenkrieg!

Australia. The only nation to lose a war against rodents!

I don't think I've ever truly had the feeling of being lost. My first experience in Tokyo was hopeless and depressing, but even though I had no idea where I was, I didn't get the feeling of being 'lost'. I was also not surrounded by creatures spawned in the depths of hell for the sole purpose of killing human beings and being as frightening as possible.

I spent a whole hour searching for a pair of socks this morning only to find them on my feet, so I sympathize.

 iproxtaco wrote:
I spent a whole hour searching for a pair of socks this morning only to find them on my feet, so I sympathize.

Done that, I once looked for half an hour for a shirt I was wearing.

I once put a teapot in the fridge...

I'd only just filled the bloody thing too! Had a good laugh when I realised.

 Orlanth wrote:

 iproxtaco wrote:
I spent a whole hour searching for a pair of socks this morning only to find them on my feet, so I sympathize.

Done that, I once looked for half an hour for a shirt I was wearing.

My wife does that regularly with her sunglasses. I never have the heart to tell her they're on her head the whole time.

 Captain Fantastic wrote:
I don't think I've ever truly had the feeling of being lost. My first experience in Tokyo was hopeless and depressing, but even though I had no idea where I was, I didn't get the feeling of being 'lost'. I was also not surrounded by creatures spawned in the depths of hell for the sole purpose of killing human beings and being as frightening as possible.

I have been lost once before. We had a 10 acre plot that ran up against several thousand acres of state forest. I was wandering out back one day, crossed the fence, and thought I was continuing west. Got turned up somehow though, and it started raining so I couldn't orient myself. Spent 5 hours wandering before I found a road and was able to get back to civilization.

I knew I wasn't gonna die out there, but it was still unsettling. Especially since this was back before the cell phone days.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
The bats are probably the worst. One flew away with my 40k rule book once,I had to go on a jungle survival mission to get it back.

Australia everyone:

Let me guess, size medium?

 Orlanth wrote:
Let me guess, size medium?

On a scale of 1 to 10, probably a 3