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Okaaay

imagine that tomorrow you woke up went down stairs had you brekkie or whatever your routine is and you open the door to see a giant clad in gleaming (insert chosen colour here) battle plate staring at you through (insert chosen colour here) lenses?

He looks you up and down and says "(insert name here) im here to take you to (school/work/college/dentist... etc)" how do you react? do you let him come with you? (not that you have a choice) do you travel differently to work? what happens and how would your day change?

so heres mine.
Wake up go down stairs blah blah green plate red lenses. he cant get in my car to drive to the train station she has has to carry me the whole way (he runs because i dont want to miss my train) he get on the train after bludgeoning other less fortunate commuters out of the way but the train doesnt move... its overloaded... so i get my new best friend to scare everyone off of the train by waving around a bolt pistol and revving his chainsword a couple of times. the train moves and heads off toward london liverpool street.

He has a hard time getting through the barriers sohe just tears them to pieces because he is impatient and cant be bothered to get the (now screaming) ticket man to open the slightly larger luggage gate. we live liverpool street and head downt towards moorgate stopping busses and cabs as we go. again the ticket gate scenario inside moorgate tube station.

i cant see a way for him to get on the escalator without breaking it so we take the stairs (by we i mean he. obviously i get the escalator) we jump on the crowded northern line tube heading towards high barnet. my CM buddy, who isnt one for conversation i have learnt by this point, then proceeds to do a bit of revving again and clears out the carriage giving me a nice peaceful ride to West finchley. jumping off the tube and walking down to platform seems to take a little while longer than anticipated due to his ritual 8:00am prayers to the emperor. the barriers once again are not an issue as they magically dissapear (torn apart)

we walk for 15 minutes toward my site and he drops me off at security i invite him in for a cup of tea and ask him to politely blow my managers brains out and everyone lives happily ever after... apart for the 48 people he has killed.

so how would your commute be? this is honestly just a boredom buster for me

I travel to school by bicycle. I would love to see a Space Marine try to ride a bicycle

I too am bored at work, so I shall indulge...

I wake up, go down stairs. A marine in gleaming Black Battle plate is in my kitchen. He is making prayer's to the machine spirit of my coffee maker, but it rejects his worship (he has not refilled the beans). He tells me his name is Honourable Battle Brother Varus, I tell him that I will call him Mildred, he does not like this.

We attempt to get in my Ford Fiesta but he is too big to fit into it, he gets mad and punched a hole in the engine...We walk to the bus stop. I tell him that I don't want to walk and instead insist on sitting on his shoulders. The bus is late, this annoys us both. The bus arrives and he smashes the door off due to his bulk. I sigh and pay the fare...he says he left his wallet at home so I pay for him...I am really annoyed now. Mildred attempts to sit next to the frail old woman on the bus...he does not see her and crushes her to death. People start screaming so he puts a bolt in the nearest commuter...people stop screaming.

The bus arrives at our stop, he tramples the slower commuters trying to get off, I apologise to the driver for the mess.

We arrive at work and I call in to my daily teleconference, I'm told that as usual, our ambulance crews are queuing at the hospital due to bed shortages and I have to go there to try and relieve some pressure.

I do not have enough money for another bus, so I insist on riding on Mildred's shoulders again. I place a flashing blue light on his head to avoid traffic. This displeases him but I inform him that it is company policy. He complies.

We arrive at the hospital. I tell Mildred to go speak to a nurse and ask what can be done to free up beds. I get myself a coffee, when I return, the Emergency department smells like an abbatoir. Mildred informs me that all of the beds are now free. I call my manager and say that there are no more delays. She congratulates me and says I can take the rest of the morning off. I am pleased. Mildred asks where his coffee is, I make up a lie about the machine being broken (I'm too lazy to make another). Mildred gets some serious caffeine withdrawal and punches an orderly in the face.

Mildred refuses to let me ride him home. I tell him he is a jerk. He gets upset. I tell him this isn't working anymore. He storms off. I enjoy the rest of my day off, watching The latest episode of The Walking dead with my feet up at home.

The end

Comedy post, nice one

On a more pedantic note, however, The passengers on a train are only a small fraction of the weight of the train itself... adding a marine isn't going to overload the thing

 Iron_Captain wrote:
I travel to school by bicycle. I would love to see a Space Marine try to ride a bicycle

Even better lets imagine one of the bicycles with the giant front wheels...

Being that the place I work with has armed Federal officers, high security protocols, and certainly doesn't allow firearms on base...I see a small war erupting once my Marine arrives with me.

I wake up and use the facilities.
I prepare myself a breakfast of milo, put my uniform on and prepare for school.
I see a space marine in gleaming White plate. While my mother drives me the short distance to the bus stop, he jogs behind us.
We enter the bus with little problem. As we arrive at a small convenience store near my school, I use my money to buy us each a can of coca cola. He proceeds to demand the shop owner give us all of it.
We walk the (5-8 minutes) to school and I talk with him for twenty minutes. Roll class is called and the moment I enter Half the class begins the usual insulting greeting of "gnome" they only get to "gno-" before he enters after me. At break/lunch, the ring leader of these people (the worst thing ever to come out of Canada) begins insulting me and telling of how he has recorded tweonty minutes of me telling him to kill himself. My buddy destroys him. I stamp on the resultant puddle. The rest of my life is happy and my grade improve from c- average to B. The end.

So you see Brother David, the Emperor that you follow is nothing more than a broken banner waving before the hordes. You have no choice really but to forsake him. Choosing to remain loyal to him would be like the Americans re-electing Bush. Ah yes, see? Now you understand! Finish your coffee, we have work to do...

 the shrouded lord wrote:
I wake up and use the facilities.
I prepare myself a breakfast of milo, put my uniform on and prepare for school.
I see a space marine in gleaming White plate. While my mother drives me the short distance to the bus stop, he jogs behind us.
We enter the bus with little problem. As we arrive at a small convenience store near my school, I use my money to buy us each a can of coca cola. He proceeds to demand the shop owner give us all of it.
We walk the (5-8 minutes) to school and I talk with him for twenty minutes. Roll class is called and the moment I enter Half the class begins the usual insulting greeting of "gnome" they only get to "gno-" before he enters after me. At break/lunch, the ring leader of these people (the worst thing ever to come out of Canada) begins insulting me and telling of how he has recorded tweonty minutes of me telling him to kill himself. My buddy destroys him. I stamp on the resultant puddle. The rest of my life is happy and my grade improve from c- average to B. The end.

This immediately came to mind when I read that:

I wake up. My roommate is already in deep conversation with the blue armoured man-giant in our room. Quite how he got into the flat in the first place is a mystery I can't be bothered to solve right now.

I have breakfast, offering the Crimson Fist some Golden Nuggets and apple juice.

I head off to my lecture, my new friend in tow. By now, I have been converted to the Imperial Truth. The mystery of how he entered the building in the first place is solved, as I find the front door missing from its hinges, located roughly thirty feet away.

Lecture time: English Lit. The marine is able to sustain himself through discussion of New Criticism and Psychoanalysis by reciting matras of restraint and dedication.

Seminar time, same topic. Likewise, the marine and myself are able to withstand the seminar by reciting litanies of perseverance and fortitude.

Lessons done, we return to our room. I play Ps4 with the Marine, allowing myself to lose in case he rages hard.

In the evening, we head to a friend's house for RPs. He gets into the game, with great enthusiasm, after the rest of the house recovers from seeing a real life Space Marine.

10PM: The house has been converted to the Imperial Truth.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
I wake up. My roommate is already in deep conversation with the blue armoured man-giant in our room. Quite how he got into the flat in the first place is a mystery I can't be bothered to solve right now.

That is an easy mystery to solve:
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

I wake up to find an 8ft tall warrior clad in white and blue mk4 battleplate, wedged halfway up my staircase because the corner is too tight for him to turn around. We spend an hour or so trying to get him out. Until he finally goes mental and punches through the walls to get out, in the process he wipes out the kitchen and half of the living room. We finally get out of the door to drive to work, when I realise there is no way In hell he can fit into a Vauxhall corsa... cue field modifications via chainaxe.. we finally get to my work place, on his shoulders now as the corsa disintegrated under the strain of his weight. And when I say thank you to him with a slight sarcastic edge to the words.....

He goes fething bezerkers again, starts frothing at the mouth a d hacks me to Frakking pieces for being a sarcy buggar.

I get up at 03:15, so night fighting rules are in effect. I usually just get ready and have a quick breakfast.

I work at a maximum security prison, so this would be a great help! We start with shift briefing so he could lead my co-workers and I in a morning litany. Then it's off to our work places by 05:00. Though some of the conversations and policies might be a bit difficult...

"You need to check your weapons at the front."

"Why puny mortal?"

"Well in case an inmate takes us hostag... Nevermind we'll be fine."

For standing in the recreation areas or dining hall it would be glorious. No one would trash talk the correctional officers or try to mess with us. Though I have a feeling his punishment would be a bit more severe than an incident report.

I typically work the administrative segregation unit where the inmates get very little time out of their cells so this could be a big help. Since we feed the inmates in their cells we can always use an extra pair hands! He and I could handle the drink cart by ourselves and get done in a fraction of the time!

"What would you like to drink today?"

"2 coffees and a milk."

"You shall have 2 sessions of repentance and period of fasting." -closes the tray slot-

Since occasionally we have guys get violent or disorderly we have to move them from cell to cell. They might not always go so easy. In that case we form a forced cell extraction team where 5 men go into the cell, hold the inmate down, cuff him up, then carry him out. If this was the case we would only need our new 8 foot friend!

"Now the time of judgement is upon you sinner, for the angel of death shall quell your infinite fury. Your infantile behavior shall yield no fruit other than swift punishment..." And so on while I just say, "Pop the door open, he'll figure it out."

Finally we finish our shift and drive back home. I get off work at 13:00 and have time to take care of things around the house. My wife isn't home till later so I cook dinner and his quick reflexes would come in quite handy for when I drop something. His acute senses would also be nice for precisely measured spices.

Though I have to say my wife may have a greater use for him. She's a school bus driver and I think if he was with she would be able to concentrate on the road fully for once...

I wake up, go down stairs and meet a seven foot tall power armoured marine.

I say 'blood for the blood.....'

I never get to finish my sentence.

And thus ends my tale

I wake up and go down stairs where I come across this guy



holding my cat and petting him (after all everyone loves kitties, including the Killtron 5000 which hates all living beings in the universe).

I give him a high five for being an all around great guy thus ending up in traction.

Oh man, I'd put everything on hold and hit the gym with him.

He could spot me with one hand and give me some amazing pointers. Maybe even let me borrow some of the chems in his suit to enhance my workout for a few weeks. I'd make some crazy gains.

Wake up, go downstairs for school...finds Black Templar marine sat eating cornflakes.

PRAY! KILL! BURN! PRAY! KILL! BURN!

I wake up, my fiance gets out of bed at a record time of mere seconds (instead of the painfully long 15 minutes it usually takes) as this giant thing looks down at us. My kitten goes missing for days. I insist he does not watch me shower and I hope he has the cash to pay for my now ruined door frames.

He runs to work next to the car, traffic stops and the police are called. We are in New Zealand so one space marine is probably more fearsome than our police and armed forces combined. I was 7 minutes late to work today, but with my marine at my side no one will complain. Most people probably wont come up to me with my marine behind me in my office, easy day at work.

I go home and arrange for my house to be more accommodating for my new house member. I will then arrange to be on TV shows and do other famous people style fame and cash grabbing.

When I am rich I will pass down my marine to my first born son, who will pass it to his and so on.

I will live a quite life where nobody bothers me unless I ask them too.

I will also very quickly sell my eldar collection...

I wake up to hear a strange noise, like heavy booming sounds. I slide down from my bed, get dressed quickly, and I look out. I then close my eyes, rub them, and then look again. Yep. He's still there. I am fairly certain this is some kind of joke (The coolest joke ever) but as I slowly realise that the colossal spiked white-armoured dude in front of my house is real, I start thinking that I am very, very fethed.

However, he does not appear hostile. While I am wary at first, I slowly walk out and communicate with him. I try to climb up onto his shoulder but I fail, so he lifts me up and places me there. Quite the view. He then causes quite the ruckus as he moves through the city.

Of course, it is only a matter of time before the police, the media and the military arrive. He politely offers that if they GTFO, he won't feth this place up. The police tentatively accepts as the news of the Marine makes the front page across the globe.

When I get home I show him my collection. He chuckles over the likeness between my model of his angry boss and the angry boss himself.

I ask the Marine to institute world peace; while a single superhuman might be unable to conquer nations alone, his competent leadership and sheer intimidation in diplomatic situations quickly quells wars and shapes the world more to my liking.

In the end I become sorta-Kor-Phaeron, physically. Except not a dude.

"You're here to take me to work? I'm calling out sick. We're going hunting, and then to the bar. This is gonna be good..."

We basically drive through Auckland traffic crushing all the truck drivers, geriatrics with no business on the road, teenager girls who incessantly text while driving, fast lane slow drivers, idiots who don't indicate, idiots who don't turn off their indicator for 5km, and SUV driving soccer mums with their overweight little monsters... With a Land Raider.

It would be glorious. Then I'd introduce my new friend to all the 40k nerds I work with

MarsNZ wrote:
We basically drive through Auckland traffic crushing all the truck drivers, geriatrics with no business on the road, teenager girls who incessantly text while driving, fast lane slow drivers, idiots who don't indicate, idiots who don't turn off their indicator for 5km, and SUV driving soccer mums with their overweight little monsters... With a Land Raider.

It would be glorious. Then I'd introduce my new friend to all the 40k nerds I work with

New Zealand is frequently said to have the worst drivers in the world im told from foreigners haha. Use a space marine to clean our roads!

Query about New Zealand - do the drivers utilise the sidewalks as extra road like they do in Italy?

 Happyjew wrote:
Query about New Zealand - do the drivers utilise the sidewalks as extra road like they do in Italy?

No but if you have a bigger car you own the road. If there is a gap people will close it to stop you getting through and so on. In new zealand most drivers dont know road rules for round abouts and so on. Everything is a likened to a giant race really. Cars go so fast down my road it actually knocks models over and kills fish. This is a rural road... Then there are the people who drive on the wrong side of the road to over take others and the list goes on.

But im not sure on italy haha

Crossing the centreline to overtake isn't illegal.

MarsNZ wrote:
Crossing the centreline to overtake isn't illegal.

Really? When I took my learners not so long ago the test said its ok on dirt roads and so on (roads without a centre) but it was like a year ago so not sure now that I think about it.

What I just said is another example of bad driving in NZ.

 Swastakowey wrote:

MarsNZ wrote:
Crossing the centreline to overtake isn't illegal.

Really? When I took my learners not so long ago the test said its ok on dirt roads and so on (roads without a centre) but it was like a year ago so not sure now that I think about it.

What I just said is another example of bad driving in NZ.

Not that it matters when you have a Space Marine driving...

 liquidjoshi wrote:

 Swastakowey wrote:

MarsNZ wrote:
Crossing the centreline to overtake isn't illegal.

Really? When I took my learners not so long ago the test said its ok on dirt roads and so on (roads without a centre) but it was like a year ago so not sure now that I think about it.

What I just said is another example of bad driving in NZ.

Not that it matters when you have a Space Marine driving...

Ill be driving. Space Marine will go shotgun. He can do more being there than I can haha

 Frazzled wrote:

 Iron_Captain wrote:
I travel to school by bicycle. I would love to see a Space Marine try to ride a bicycle

Even better lets imagine one of the bicycles with the giant front wheels...

A pennyfarthing

 Swastakowey wrote:

MarsNZ wrote:
Crossing the centreline to overtake isn't illegal.

Really? When I took my learners not so long ago the test said its ok on dirt roads and so on (roads without a centre) but it was like a year ago so not sure now that I think about it.

What I just said is another example of bad driving in NZ.

On dirt roads it'd be the height of stupidity.

Broken white lines in the centre are crossable if there is 100m clear lane ahead of you once you've completed the pass. Unbroken yellow lines are illegal to cross.