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wow this is currently the most exaulted thread on Dakka.

Yay!

55 - According to newly reviled fluff this one time a high school student Eldar was writing a grimdark poem on his Myspace page about how all the football player Eldars sucked and how no one truly understood his unique pain and genius and stuff. And then like all the cheerleader Eldars read it and they were all like that is like so deep and stuff so they dyed their hair black and they all moved to a loft in Commorragh and sex and everything cause he was like so deep and the Eldar Football players all killed themselves because they sucked that's like the origin of the Dark Eldars.

56. Special rule "Feel all the Pain. Dark Eldar love pain and causing pain. If an enemy makes a successful FnP roll within 12" of a unit with the "power from pain" rule, the closest friendly unit take a wound with no saves of any kind, against a randomly selected model. This represents the anguish of failing to wound the enemy, also forging a narrative.

Reliable Source, never been wrong: Dark Eldar are actually a .... GENE STEALER CULT!!!! Dun dun DUUUUNNNN

57. All Dark Eldar Vehicles will be reduced by 1 AV to better represent their fragile but fast nature (so yes, AV9, just like tin sheds!).

58. The Dark Eldar codex will be well-balanced with no bad units.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
37 - Murder Fang will be an elite choice for Dark Eldar. Have to move those $50 special characters somehow amirite?

38 - Nagash will be HQ choice for the Dark Eldar. Have to move those $100 special characters somehow amirite?

39 - Bilbo Baggins will be a mandatory troop choice for Dark Eldar. Have to move those $120 Escape from Goblin Town sets somehow amirite?

40 - The DE Raider will be reissued as a paper mache model to better represent its durability on the table top.

41 - DAKKA EXCLUSIVE, Vect's new model, showing him and the Dias of Destruction enveloped in its protective shadow field! As you can see it is one of the most accurate and detailed models GW has ever made showing Vect, a dozen slave girls, a full team of guards and an elaborate raider brisling with spikes and guns.

Spoiler:

A new boxed game will be released called escape from Commoragh. It will be packed to the brim with a host of new 40k models inluding, several squats, a ratling, an Imperial psyker, and a heap of goblins all trying to escape from captivity in the shadowy underworld of the Dark Eldar.*

*rules sold separately

59. Flickerfields and Shadow Fields can now be shot off, just like the Serpent Shield. The profiles are as follows:

Flickerfield: Range 72", Strength 8, AP-, Heavy D6, Lance, Ignores Invulnerable Saves

Shadow Field: Range 48", Strength X, AP-, Heavy D6+2, Poison (2+), Ignores Cover

60. Dark Eldar will be allowed to assault when coming from reserves whenever they arrive via the Webway, but not when arriving from reserves normally. If you do not have the appropriate marker you can't use this rule (so start scouring e-bay kids!).

All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.

 Happyjew wrote:
All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.

Also, we'd like to unveil the new Dark Eldar character - Umbral Black'shadow von Darkington.

 vipoid wrote:

 Happyjew wrote:
All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.

Also, we'd like to unveil the new Dark Eldar character - Umbral Black'shadow von Darkington.

Awesome name. Dont forget that he drinks dark rum and cola and has many black outs.

 Necro wrote:

 vipoid wrote:

 Happyjew wrote:
All weapons will have the word "Dark" as part of their name. For example, Dark Pistol, Dark Gun, Dark Missile of Evil Darkness, etc.

Also, we'd like to unveil the new Dark Eldar character - Umbral Black'shadow von Darkington.

Awesome name. Dont forget that he drinks dark rum and cola and has many black outs.

Just be sure not to shine a black light onto him...it won't be pretty.

The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.

Dark Eldar will be able to ally with tyranids because the fear that the tyranids create before destroying a planet is the strongest aphrodisiac that the Dark Eldar have ever come across.

Nids can't ally with them though, doesn't work both ways!

 ClockworkZion wrote:
The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.

Fun fact about black lights : They do not reveal blood.

 CthuluIsSpy wrote:

 ClockworkZion wrote:
The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.

Fun fact about black lights : They do not reveal blood.

That's why it won't be written in blood.

Also free bag of cocaine to the first 100 purchasers.

61. Eldar and Dark Eldar are now "super secret Battle BrothersTM" and Wyverns are troop choices when allied.

 ClockworkZion wrote:

 CthuluIsSpy wrote:

 ClockworkZion wrote:
The Collectors Edition will come bound in real human skin, and will require a black light to read the pages.

Fun fact about black lights : They do not reveal blood.

That's why it won't be written in blood.

Also free bag of cocaine to the first 100 purchasers.

Written by Tom Kirby and Matt Ward (or Phil Kelly, or Cruddace...whoever is the whipping boy these days), naturally

62. Doom Rider is a Lord of War

Guys, slow down on the rumors! Pretre can't keep up!!

Cant wait to see their new character. Master payne, the pain meister! He is armed with two painsticks, and a painwhip. When an enemy fails a feel no pain roll against attacks made by painwhip or painsticks, he must immediately make feel no pain rolls for the rest of the squad attacked by Master payne.

Any failed feel no pain rolls put a pain token on master payne. He can then use the special rule feel no pain himself, for unsaved wounds caused. Also he is haunted by painlust.

All "Elfs who are Dark and also in Space and Kind of into Bondage but in a PG13 sort of way" can be upgraded to carry an Obsolescence Gun, which inflicts D6 Str10, ignoring all saves, hits on any model or unit that has been in production for more than 2 years

Coming soon, Citadel Combat drugs! These limited edition FineDrugs will be required to use the Combat Drugs special rule with your Dark Eldar codex. To use the rule just take a random syringe from the kit and jab it into your neck and go!

15 - All DE codexes will come with temporary tattoos and a clip on nose ring so you can be dangerous and edgy just like the Dark Eldar!


Best one ever. Daughter loves it.

Wracks will run on gasoline. And surprisingly, many of them will get good mileage.

If a DE unit or squad wins in CC and cause an enemy squad to flee, the fleeing unit/squad is immediate captured and sodomized by the advancing DE.

For PG-13 version replace "sodomized" with "tickled until they pee their pants"

Hellraiser Pinhead will be an elite choice.

The Dark Eldar codex will be the first codex that includes a CD of thematic music for the army. The following is the new game set-up order.

1. The Dark Eldar player must be dressed in all black. Piercings are optional, however, for a limited time, you can get official GW Dark Eldar Clip-ons ® if you do not want to pierce your ears, nose, lips and eyebrows.
2. Start the CD that comes with the codex.
3. Roll for Warlord Traits.
4. Your opponent always deploys first, and nothing may start in Reserves (even things that normally must start in reserves, such as Drop Pods, Flyers or Legions of the Damned).
5. After your opponent finishes setting up douse the table in gasoline and burn it, while doing lines of cocaine.
6. If your opponent cries, you gain 3 Pain tokens.
7. Rape your opponent.
8. Spend your pain tokens on the ability to evade the police.

73 - According to newly reviled fluff this one time a bunch of Elfs who are Dark and also in Space showed up in the Emperor's bedroom and they had like their piercings and tatoos and bondage gear and all that stuff and they were all like 'fear us for we are the masters of pain and suffering and evil and darkness'.

But the Emp was all like 'dude seriously? you're like what a middle aged man thought was dangerous and subversive 20 years ago. I mean today you're about as edgy as a Marlin Manson album. You're like as dangerous as a kid with a Sex Pistols T-shirt his mummy bought for him at Hot Topic.'.

And the Elf who are Dark were confused because they thought the Sex Pistols were like totally edgy and subversive. And Gary was all like 'I have skateboard man, and it flies, and it has spikes!' but the Emperor was not impressed.

So then the Emp turned on CNN and he was all like 'look at these sons of witches, they're like beheading people and stoning people and crucifying people and strapping bombs to their chests and blowing people up and you think I'm gonna wet my solid gold breaches cause you're wearing a dog collar and a spiked bracelet? Go home OK? Just go home.'

So they went back to their mom's basement and like Steve tried out some beheading moves but accidentally cut off his own head. Then Jack tried stoning Suzy but she was all like 'ow that hurts' and totally dumped him and then Gary tried to make a bomb vest but blew his junk off instead.

Later on Eldrad popped by and he was all like 'I am so sorry about that, I don't know what these kids today are thinking. Frankly I'm just embarassed.'

ANd the Emp was all like 'Hey man it's OK, I mean sometimes kids go bad, they can't all be 100% loyal like my boy Horus. Did you know that after he joins this warrior lodge thing he's going to come by for my birthday, he's even bringing fireworks.

Just then Malicor the Siglite burst in and he was all like 'Emp, Emp I need you to approve the design for your new throne!'

But the Emp was all like 'Dude whatever. I mean I'm so busy running here and there I'll probably never even get a chance to sit in it y'know.'

And that was the last time the Elfs who are Dark ever tried to mess with the Space Emperor.

The new dark eldar codex will include all the rules you need to make a dark eldar army for either a wyche cult, kabal, or coven, or all three!

In order to bring this variety to a single codex it will be released alongside three whole supplements that will include all the background and special rules you need to play with the dark eldar!

The main Dark Eldar codex will include all the rules you need to select your Troops, Elites, Fast Attack, Heavy support and Lord of War selections for all three dark eldar armies!

The supplements will give you an amazing 120 pages of background and art work along with warlord tables, relics, and the rules for the HQ battlefield role for the Kabal, Coven, or Wyche cults depending on which supplements you buy!

GW is even making a bundle of all three supplements for exactly the same cost as buying all three, wow! They come with a special card case which holds all three and is colored black on black, with black writing!