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In my younger days, I thought it would be a blast to go down to Peru and explore the Amazon. Lots of good memories ensued, riding banana boats, visiting villages along the river, joining school children in their celebration of Simon Bolivar day, being taught by tribesman how to use blowguns, swinging on vines through the jungle, and a host of other experiences.
One thing I told my guide I wanted to do was to go Pirahnna fishing after having a good swim. He told me to get a fishing pole from the boat and we could do that right where I had just been swimming. I baited up a hook, threw in my line, and within seconds, the water was boiling. What I hauled up wasn't a Pirahnna, but it was close enough. My guide told me to just keep feeding that bait into the water and they'd show up soon enough. He did not lie.

Walking to my car in the dark. I get in and turn the headlights on. I see two deer rutting right in front of my car. They then look at me. Weirdest thing ever

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Walking to my car in the dark. I get in and turn the headlights on. I see two deer rutting right in front of my car. They then look at me. Weirdest thing ever

Really? Deer staring into headlights? That's the weirdest thing ever?

That's just what deer do. That's like, this one time, I looked up in the air, and birds were flying! Then one of them pooped on my shoulder! Weirdest thing ever!

Capturing an Insurgent who ask me for a "cigarette". I thought he called me that in a derogatory way but my brain kick in on the British accent

Edit

Foxtrot Alpha Golf

 Hordini wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Walking to my car in the dark. I get in and turn the headlights on. I see two deer rutting right in front of my car. They then look at me. Weirdest thing ever

Really? Deer staring into headlights? That's the weirdest thing ever?

That's just what deer do. That's like, this one time, I looked up in the air, and birds were flying! Then one of them pooped on my shoulder! Weirdest thing ever!

You did read what they where doing

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 Hordini wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Walking to my car in the dark. I get in and turn the headlights on. I see two deer rutting right in front of my car. They then look at me. Weirdest thing ever

Really? Deer staring into headlights? That's the weirdest thing ever?

That's just what deer do. That's like, this one time, I looked up in the air, and birds were flying! Then one of them pooped on my shoulder! Weirdest thing ever!

You did read what they where doing

Oh, they were rutting. I must have missed that part. (I think I just read "there were two deer right in front of my car." I guess that is kind of weird. My bad!

When I was dating my now-wife, we co-habited for some time before separating for a while. When we reconciled a year later I was over at her place and absent-mindedly unlocked the door to her place... with my keys.

Fate..Coincidence.. or Destiny Written in the Stars? Taking all bets! I also have video poker!

feeder wrote:
When I was dating my now-wife, we co-habited for some time before separating for a while. When we reconciled a year later I was over at her place and absent-mindedly unlocked the door to her place... with my keys.

Fate..Coincidence.. or Destiny Written in the Stars? Taking all bets! I also have video poker!

Replacing locks does not come to mind unless
1. Break In
2. Your a NUT
3. Booby trap

 Jihadin wrote:

feeder wrote:
When I was dating my now-wife, we co-habited for some time before separating for a while. When we reconciled a year later I was over at her place and absent-mindedly unlocked the door to her place... with my keys.

Fate..Coincidence.. or Destiny Written in the Stars? Taking all bets! I also have video poker!

Replacing locks does not come to mind unless
1. Break In
2. Your a NUT
3. Booby trap

No, this was the key to my own apartment, unlocking the door to hers. Two different doors, two different locksets. It was actually kind of a moment.

Fate a finicky wench

Catching a shiny pokemon (Scatterbug)

Distant second: finding out in April my wife is pregnant with our first child

Priorities

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:
Catching a shiny pokemon (Scatterbug)

Distant second: finding out in April my wife is pregnant with our first child

Priorities

Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

I wake up one morning to my cat, on my bed, trying to shove a dead rat in my face.

There is now a screen on the upstairs window.

Convoying in Iraq, and the driver slammed on the brakes, and I got hit in the head from behind with something.

Turned around and it was an AT-4 someone had just kinda tossed in the back.

 Bromsy wrote:
Convoying in Iraq, and the driver slammed on the brakes, and I got hit in the head from behind with something.

Turned around and it was an AT-4 someone had just kinda tossed in the back.

I know that feel. ROTC training, prepping to board blackhawks, I keep telling my battlebuddy to make sure his AT-4 is secure to his ruck, knowing that I'm going to be the one carrying it when we unload (jumping to the ground into the prone position). The ride goes fine and we offload in a flat clearing on top of a small, forested mountain. End up with AT-4/ruck. Jump to the ground and prone. AT-4 comes loose, hits the back of my helmet. "What the feth!" Face slammed down into big, sharp rock. "What the FETH!"

EDIT:
Oh, and I got gak from my SL, PL and cadre, even though it wasn't my ruck or AT-4 and I wasn't responsible for securing it.

Yes, there is indeed nothing like being bonked in the head with an anti tank rocket to make you reevaluate some gak.

Same to me Bromsy....except it was a spare 50 cal barrel to the crotch that was leaning against a stack of MRE's.....glad it took 20+ min's to get to the 50 range

 Jihadin wrote:
Same to me Bromsy....except it was a spare 50 cal barrel to the crotch that was leaning against a stack of MRE's.....glad it took 20+ min's to get to the 50 range

To be fair, that was probably for the best for everyone, otherwise we'd be overrun with little Jihadins.

I was playing rugby in college, and the game had gotten really vicious; punches were thrown, necks were bent in scrums, the standard dirty gak cranked up to 11. The Sir calls the captains of both teams together, and basically says "This stops, or the game is done.". In response, one of the captains from other team, punches my co-captain in the face. The Sir, myself, and my co-captain all had "WTF?" expressions on our faces. Then, because I was pissed, I instigated a brawl by gunning the ball I was carrying into the other opposing captain's face; breaking his nose. At that point the Sir ran to the sidelines, and called the police; leading to one of the nights I have spent in jail. Thankfully no charges were pressed.

Another college rugby story: Our team was about to field a kick and our fullback, who dropped acid the day before, decided to run away from the ball instead of fielding it; directly into the woods behind the pitch. It took us 2 hours to find him, and when we did he was covered in leaves and mud. He is now a very successful accountant.

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

Waking up to a text from the only girl you are remotely interested in's number saying "Hey this is X's mom. I found her this morning. She overdosed."

Thank god she lived, but what in the damn hell!

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

 Bromsy wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

That feeling when your dad missed your birth because he was watching Final Jeopardy in a Spanish bar across the street.

 Squidmanlolz wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

That feeling when your dad missed your birth because he was watching Final Jeopardy in a Spanish bar across the street.

It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

 Bromsy wrote:

 Squidmanlolz wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

That feeling when your dad missed your birth because he was watching Final Jeopardy in a Spanish bar across the street.

It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

It's nothing that can't be fixed.

 Hordini wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 Squidmanlolz wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

That feeling when your dad missed your birth because he was watching Final Jeopardy in a Spanish bar across the street.

It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

It's nothing that can't be fixed.

Still, ewww.

My wife really, really wants me to be there. She's starting to get pretty scared.

Besides, I don't want to be drunk for the birth, I was drunk enough at the conception .

Haha, this topic just caused me to have a wtf moment...

I was going to post about something which happened a few months ago, after I was talking to a friend about being 10,000 days old. I'd actually already missed my 10,000th day, but I found a website that calculates it for you. So I put in my date of birth, out of curiosity, just to see if it was a day I might remember, and the weirdest thing... The day I was 10,000 days old, actually fell on my dad's birthday, and I remember exactly what I was doing because it was the day we scattered his ashes.

But what's really weird is writing about this story reminded me to text my friend about when she actually is 10,000 days old... Turns out it's today!

Lucky I came across this topic, and thought of that story, or she would have missed it.

Bromsy..she can ask for a C-section

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Spoiler:

 Bromsy wrote:

 Hordini wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 Squidmanlolz wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

That feeling when your dad missed your birth because he was watching Final Jeopardy in a Spanish bar across the street.

It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

It's nothing that can't be fixed.

Still, ewww.

My wife really, really wants me to be there. She's starting to get pretty scared.

Besides, I don't want to be drunk for the birth, I was drunk enough at the conception .

She'll be fine. She will break your hand though.
Also sleep now. Your days of sleep will soon be over HAHAHAHAHA