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 Bromsy wrote:
It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

That isn't how childbirth works.

Being there for both of my daughters coming into the world is something that can't be equalled.

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:
It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

That isn't how childbirth works.

Being there for both of my daughters coming into the world is something that can't be equaled.

I dunno, I saw the Grand Canyon.

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:
It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

That isn't how childbirth works.

Being there for both of my daughters coming into the world is something that can't be equalled.

Very true.

As most here know of my time in the army, I was... "not combat arms" (I was technically MI... but that's a whole other discussion)


So, during my second tour in Iraq, I'm out on patrol doing "secret squirrel" stuff with an armor platoon. pretty standard (for us) 5 humvee patrol (one humvee with my equipment in it, and the other four belonged to the actual platoon we were with) and we get ambused. couple RPGs right over my truck, shrapnel/debris from the dumpster and power transformer that were hit all over my truck, etc. So we kicked ass, and continued mission, and a few hours later, get back to the COP.


I say all that to give the situation, this was my first combat experience, and I was in no place to be heading to sleep right after we get back... Fuel and park the trucks, at which point the company XO comes out all excited and says to us MI guys, "hey you gotta come check out this UAV feed video we got of an attack!!!"

Go into the office where he has this video pulled up... It was literally a video feed of the attack that I had just lived through, and the rockets were even closer to the truck than we had originally thought.

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

My wife really, really wants me to be there. She's starting to get pretty scared.

Besides, I don't want to be drunk for the birth, I was drunk enough at the conception .

If you can, I would absolutely do it. It's one of the most awe inspiring things imaginable. Don't forget to tell her to relax, birth is a natural process, people been doing it for thousands of years

The other day, my team (Middlesbrough FC, finest in all the land) lost a penalty shootout in which 30 kicks were taken. It was mental.

 Albatross wrote:
The other day, my team (Middlesbrough FC, finest in all the land) lost a penalty shootout in which 30 kicks were taken. It was mental.

Yeah, the pub just came to a complete standstill while this was happening - even the darts stopped!

 Bromsy wrote:

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:
It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

That isn't how childbirth works.

Being there for both of my daughters coming into the world is something that can't be equaled.

I dunno, I saw the Grand Canyon.

I thought jokes like that were funny when I was 16 too.

Being there for my first daughter was amazing. My wife had a 21 hour labor and the only time I left her side was to get a meal from the cafeteria. Unfortunately, I was unable to cut the umbilical cord because the NICU team had to take her right away because of some slight complications, which was absolutely terrifying because at that point your are absolutely helpless to fix anything. After all that time waiting, as soon as she started coming out everything happened so fast; it was surreal.

My second daughter was much less complicated but just as awesome!

 Frazzled wrote:
She'll be fine. She will break your hand though.
Also sleep now. Your days of sleep will soon be over HAHAHAHAHA

I've heard there is a chance of wrist breaking (due to hand holding) or jaw breaking ("what did you do to me?! POW")

But yes, I'm assuming she'll have quite the pair of lungs.

 jreilly89 wrote:
If you can, I would absolutely do it. It's one of the most awe inspiring things imaginable. Don't forget to tell her to relax, birth is a natural process, people been doing it for thousands of years

Thanks, I'll be trying to be flexible in keeping her calm and cool

Wear a cup. Just in case.

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:
It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

That isn't how childbirth works.

Being there for both of my daughters coming into the world is something that can't be equaled.

I dunno, I saw the Grand Canyon.

I thought jokes like that were funny when I was 16 too.

Being there for my first daughter was amazing. My wife had a 21 hour labor and the only time I left her side was to get a meal from the cafeteria. Unfortunately, I was unable to cut the umbilical cord because the NICU team had to take her right away because of some slight complications, which was absolutely terrifying because at that point your are absolutely helpless to fix anything. After all that time waiting, as soon as she started coming out everything happened so fast; it was surreal.

My second daughter was much less complicated but just as awesome!

Yep. I got to cut the umbilical cord of my daughter, and its one of the most surreal life changing events I've experienced congrats on your two daughters!

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
She'll be fine. She will break your hand though.
Also sleep now. Your days of sleep will soon be over HAHAHAHAHA

I've heard there is a chance of wrist breaking (due to hand holding) or jaw breaking ("what did you do to me?! POW")

But yes, I'm assuming she'll have quite the pair of lungs.

 jreilly89 wrote:
If you can, I would absolutely do it. It's one of the most awe inspiring things imaginable. Don't forget to tell her to relax, birth is a natural process, people been doing it for thousands of years

Thanks, I'll be trying to be flexible in keeping her calm and cool

And whatever you do, never, never, NEVER tell her afterward, "It didn't look that hard."

Even years later as a joke... I speak from experience on that one.


Also, be prepared to be frightened and helpless yourself (I was with both of mine, especially the first as I mentioned previously), but don't pass those feelings on to her. No matter what, just reassure her every step of the way.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 jreilly89 wrote:
Yep. I got to cut the umbilical cord of my daughter, and its one of the most surreal life changing events I've experienced congrats on your two daughters!

I got to do it with my second daughter and I never thought that something I always saw as an insignificant ritual would have such a profound effect on me emotionally.

It was definitely a good WTF moment.

 Frazzled wrote:
Wear a cup. Just in case.

Hadn't thought of that - thank you!

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
And whatever you do, never, never, NEVER tell her afterward, "It didn't look that hard."

Even years later as a joke... I speak from experience on that one.

Also, be prepared to be frightened and helpless yourself (I was with both of mine, especially the first as I mentioned previously), but don't pass those feelings on to her. No matter what, just reassure her every step of the way.

That's the aim, I just want to be her rock to lean on/verbally abuse as necessary. I can't even imaginge what she'll be going through.

But it will be hard to resist joking about it when the little one eventually asks

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
Wear a cup. Just in case.

Hadn't thought of that - thank you!

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
And whatever you do, never, never, NEVER tell her afterward, "It didn't look that hard."

Even years later as a joke... I speak from experience on that one.

Also, be prepared to be frightened and helpless yourself (I was with both of mine, especially the first as I mentioned previously), but don't pass those feelings on to her. No matter what, just reassure her every step of the way.

That's the aim, I just want to be her rock to lean on/verbally abuse as necessary. I can't even imaginge what she'll be going through.

But it will be hard to resist joking about it when the little one eventually asks

Is she getting an epidural?

If you're even remotely squish about seeing needles and stuff (or not sure yourself)...
DO NOT WATCH the anesthesiologist perform the epidural.

I passed out seeing the harpoon being stuck in...

But, other than that, just take it easy and ENJOY the experience.

 Hordini wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 Squidmanlolz wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

Relapse wrote:
Congratulations, sir. Are you going to assist with the birth? My daughters love hearing from me about what happened in the room when they were born.

Thank you! Yep I'll be there in the room, it'll be a daughter as well most likely (ultrasound was pretty conclusive, but they didn't want to 100% commit to it being a girl)

I can't fathom wanting to be in the room if I ever have children. And apparently hospitals don't have bars (that's a terrible decision, if anywhere needed a bar it's hospitals) ... so where am I supposed to go? I guess I'll just force a friend or relative to keep me up to date whilst I am down the street at the closest one.

That feeling when your dad missed your birth because he was watching Final Jeopardy in a Spanish bar across the street.

It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

It's nothing that can't be fixed.

And if you tip the OB/GYN they will put and extra stitch in there to make it extra snug.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Bromsy wrote:
It's better than "Son, my first memory of you is you destroying something I loved very much."

That isn't how childbirth works.

Being there for both of my daughters coming into the world is something that can't be equalled.

Ours was very stressful and involved an unexpected detour to the NICU. I would never be able to forgive myself if I wouldn't have been there for my wife and my daughter.

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
And whatever you do, never, never, NEVER tell her afterward, "It didn't look that hard."

Even years later as a joke... I speak from experience on that one.

Also, be prepared to be frightened and helpless yourself (I was with both of mine, especially the first as I mentioned previously), but don't pass those feelings on to her. No matter what, just reassure her every step of the way.

That's the aim, I just want to be her rock to lean on/verbally abuse as necessary. I can't even imaginge what she'll be going through.

But it will be hard to resist joking about it when the little one eventually asks

I was just giving her a hard time, not even being completely serious, and she got pretty pissed off. She still brings it up years later too.

 whembly wrote:
Is she getting an epidural?

If you're even remotely squish about seeing needles and stuff (or not sure yourself)...
DO NOT WATCH the anesthesiologist perform the epidural.

I passed out seeing the harpoon being stuck in...

But, other than that, just take it easy and ENJOY the experience.

I'm pretty sure for our first daughter the anesthesiologist wouldn't let me watch; they made me get up and walk around to face my wife when they gave her the epidural. I can't remember if that happened with the second one though, my memories are a little less vivid when it comes to all the lead up.

 whembly wrote:
Is she getting an epidural?

If you're even remotely squish about seeing needles and stuff (or not sure yourself)...
DO NOT WATCH the anesthesiologist perform the epidural.

I passed out seeing the harpoon being stuck in...

But, other than that, just take it easy and ENJOY the experience.

She wants to give birth naturally, but if things go south we'll follow whatever the doctor's say

But nope, I'm definitely not keen on watching the needle work if it comes to that

I believe they cannot do the Epidural once labor has started, only option after that is drugs IIRC.

 Grey Templar wrote:
I believe they cannot do the Epidural once labor has started, only option after that is drugs IIRC.

Not entirely accurate, as the entire process of giving birth is considered "labor," but I'm pretty sure there is a 'point of no return' where they cannot administer the epidural. Keep in mind, I'm only basing this off of my experience with my two kids so take it with a grain of salt.

With my first daughter, my wife's water broke at 4:30 AM and when we got to the hospital, she was already dilated and going through some pretty decent contractions but it was quite some time later when they gave her the epidural (and it didn't last the entire labor).

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
As most here know of my time in the army, I was... "not combat arms" (I was technically MI... but that's a whole other discussion)


So, during my second tour in Iraq, I'm out on patrol doing "secret squirrel" stuff with an armor platoon. pretty standard (for us) 5 humvee patrol (one humvee with my equipment in it, and the other four belonged to the actual platoon we were with) and we get ambused. couple RPGs right over my truck, shrapnel/debris from the dumpster and power transformer that were hit all over my truck, etc. So we kicked ass, and continued mission, and a few hours later, get back to the COP.


I say all that to give the situation, this was my first combat experience, and I was in no place to be heading to sleep right after we get back... Fuel and park the trucks, at which point the company XO comes out all excited and says to us MI guys, "hey you gotta come check out this UAV feed video we got of an attack!!!"

Go into the office where he has this video pulled up... It was literally a video feed of the attack that I had just lived through, and the rockets were even closer to the truck than we had originally thought.

I hope to hell you found that link and saved it. That'd be something to show your kids.

Given my current job working for an automotive warranty company, I have "WTF" moments on the daily. The things that shops and customer say...are simply mind-blowing sometimes.

I actually just got off the phone with a service writer who was trying to talk to me via her speaker phone. I told her that it was hard to understand her due to the background noise, so she decides to speak slower and louder, instead of taking me off the effin' speaker.

Probably the most infuriating moment of my five years here was once when a customer called in with some questions about her warranty; no biggy, I get that all time time. So, she asks to hold on for a second...WHILE SHE STARTS ORDERING FOOD THROUGH A DRIVE-THRU. That still makes me shake my head to this day.

I know I could write a book on my experience with shops over-charging, and making up excuses to add extra parts to repair claims. Hell, we had so many sketchy/fraudulent claims from a specific dealer in southern Florida, that we had to inspect EVERY claim over $250, and that lasted about 4-5 months before they finally got their gak together.

I hate the auto industry...

 Jihadin wrote:
Capturing an Insurgent who ask me for a "cigarette". I thought he called me that in a derogatory way but my brain kick in on the British accent

Edit

Foxtrot Alpha Golf

Did you give him the smoke?

For me - first time I was intimate with two girls at once, and the second craziest thing to happen to me was being involved in a 6-car collision. How hard the impact was, being knocked the feth out by the airbag, the feeling of total confusion after fighting my door open, my girlfriend screaming, smoke everywhere, the sound of the glass shattering and everyone else around me involved freaking the feth out on each other trying to figure out what happened. I wasn't at fault so it all worked out for me in the end- got time off work, money, and a way better car than before (went from an old Chevy Impala to a Mustang, baby!). Girl gains through the roof.

I'll never forget that day for the rest of my life, though.

On the subject of deliveries, have any of you done or considered doing a home birth, or utilizing the services of a midwife rather than going to a hospital? I'm just curious.

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:
I believe they cannot do the Epidural once labor has started, only option after that is drugs IIRC.

Not entirely accurate, as the entire process of giving birth is considered "labor," but I'm pretty sure there is a 'point of no return' where they cannot administer the epidural. Keep in mind, I'm only basing this off of my experience with my two kids so take it with a grain of salt.

With my first daughter, my wife's water broke at 4:30 AM and when we got to the hospital, she was already dilated and going through some pretty decent contractions but it was quite some time later when they gave her the epidural (and it didn't last the entire labor).

Yeah, thats what I meant. Once things have started in earnest, its too late. Sure, technically once first contraction starts you're "in labor", but there is a distinct point where things change.

 Hordini wrote:
On the subject of deliveries, have any of you done or considered doing a home birth, or utilizing the services of a midwife rather than going to a hospital? I'm just curious.

We haven't considered the alternatives to hospital - we'd like to have doctor's nearby just in case

Also apologies for the childbirth direction this thread has gone

On the delivery of my first daughter, my wife's best friend came to assist and give her the woman to woman moral support and talk through.
When the time came for the actual delivery, I held one leg and her friend was on the other side. As my daughter started coming out, her friend was caught in a huge spray of amniotic fluid, making me think of a storm tossed mariner braving a
sou' easter.
She declined the Epidural and was up, walking around within an hour of birth. That woman is harder than a sack of hammers.

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:
I believe they cannot do the Epidural once labor has started, only option after that is drugs IIRC.

Not entirely accurate, as the entire process of giving birth is considered "labor," but I'm pretty sure there is a 'point of no return' where they cannot administer the epidural. Keep in mind, I'm only basing this off of my experience with my two kids so take it with a grain of salt.

With my first daughter, my wife's water broke at 4:30 AM and when we got to the hospital, she was already dilated and going through some pretty decent contractions but it was quite some time later when they gave her the epidural (and it didn't last the entire labor).

Yep. From what I can recall you can have the epidural up until you're about 5-7 cm dilated, depending on the doctor. They want to wait as long as possible because the epidural slows down the whole process, but for most I think you can have it right up until you're in transition (the 20/30 minute go time).


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Hordini wrote:
On the subject of deliveries, have any of you done or considered doing a home birth, or utilizing the services of a midwife rather than going to a hospital? I'm just curious.

Apparently I was a home birth, but I don't remember I have a friend who's training to be a midwife. I think it's a neat thing, but for people with a lot of health problems/pregnancy concrens, I think hospitals are the safer bet

 jreilly89 wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

My wife really, really wants me to be there. She's starting to get pretty scared.

Besides, I don't want to be drunk for the birth, I was drunk enough at the conception .

If you can, I would absolutely do it. It's one of the most awe inspiring things imaginable. Don't forget to tell her to relax, birth is a natural process, people been doing it for thousands of years

Dunno if you're still on Dakka, or in a delivery room.... but if you ever want to have more than one child, STAY AT HER SHOULDERS WHERE YOU CANT SEE GAK!!!!

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:

 jreilly89 wrote:

 VorpalBunny74 wrote:

My wife really, really wants me to be there. She's starting to get pretty scared.

Besides, I don't want to be drunk for the birth, I was drunk enough at the conception .

If you can, I would absolutely do it. It's one of the most awe inspiring things imaginable. Don't forget to tell her to relax, birth is a natural process, people been doing it for thousands of years

Dunno if you're still on Dakka, or in a delivery room.... but if you ever want to have more than one child, STAY AT HER SHOULDERS WHERE YOU CANT SEE GAK!!!!

Eh, it's part of life. You get used to it. Besides, seen much more gory stuff already (guy with half his head open in Anatomy and various emergency room trips). Takes a lot or has to be someone very close to me before I get woozy

 jreilly89 wrote:


Eh, it's part of life. You get used to it. Besides, seen much more gory stuff already (guy with half his head open in Anatomy and various emergency room trips). Takes a lot or has to be someone very close to me before I get woozy

See, I was given that warning by a former squad leader, and it wasn't from a "gory" perspective but more a "HOLY FETHING GAK!!!! Something that large came out of where I used to have fun!?!?!?!" or a "what has been seen cannot be unseen" sort of thing.