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Jeez, Buttery, we need to get you a bodyguard!

 Vulcan wrote:
Jeez, Buttery, we need to get you a bodyguard!

Buttery might need several.




Automatically Appended Next Post:

Maybe he could have upsold her a Tau Hammerhead.
"You'll like this one, it can usually get penetrating hits."

Sorry...

This scenario turns really creepy when the lady in question has 3 teeth, a beard that puts Gandalf to shame, more hair than Chewbacca, and is propositioning 12 year olds (both boys and girls) saying, "I'll show you kids the time of your life for 10 bucks a piece."

When the manager offers to front the kids the money...yuk. No. Goodbye. NEVER going back. Glad I live out of state.

 Vulcan wrote:
Jeez, Buttery, we need to get you a bodyguard!

Nah, they'd only hit on him.

 notprop wrote:

 Vulcan wrote:
Jeez, Buttery, we need to get you a bodyguard!

Nah, they'd only hit on him.

That's what bodyguards are FOR, hitting BACK.

Unless you mean the bodyguard would hit on Buttery? Unlikely, a pro knows better than to get personal with the principle. Unlike that STUPID movie...

 Vulcan wrote:
Jeez, Buttery, we need to get you a bodyguard!

I found the other third of my body weight in a cereal box, and am substantially harder to kidnap now.

To counter all the awfulness I posted in this thread, I once attended a tournament in Fanboy3 in Manchester. I was attending on the way home from a trip across country, and I was in the middle of bottle-rearing a kitten. She was with me in her carrier, and I bundled that up in my own blankets and donated gamer jackets, and put her in the basement because people eat at FB3, and may have cat allergies.
So between games, I got her out, checked she was toasty, and fed her by syringe on one of the back tables. You've never seen so many grown men go from Serious Wargaming Mode to melting squeaking children as they crouched down ever so quietly and peer at the tiny kitten.

Just had an event last weekend that I thought was funny as hell, although my friend certainly didn't think so.

We'd just wrapped for the evening and were heading next door to the pizza place that has a pretty lively bar. We'd just stepped out the door of the flgs with gaming cases in hand when this guy kinda staggers right into us like a zombie with a crazed look in his eye. He moans something we can't make out and grabs my friend's open jacket with both hands...

Then proceeds to projectile vomit about a pitcher worth of beer and food right down the front of my friends shirt.

He staggers off leaving us completely slack jawed at what just happened, my friend is just staring ahead with this weird blank look as it takes him about two full minutes to process what happened. I'll admit I'm kind of a jerk because I start laughing my butt off while his face gets all rage twisted as he's trying to figure out if he wants to murder the guy or not. He's just standing there with a GW case in each hand, puke dripping off his chest, pants, and even his shoes. Finally some brain gear clicks into motion and he shouts "feth pizza! I'm going home!" turns around and stomps off to the parking garage to get his car.

It's been four days and he's still mad about it, for me it was absolutely hilarious and the fact he's still mad about it makes it even better.

 paulson games wrote:
Just had an event last weekend that I thought was funny as hell, although my friend certainly didn't think so.

We'd just wrapped for the evening and were heading next door to the pizza place that has a pretty lively bar. We'd just stepped out the door of the flgs with gaming cases in hand when this guy kinda staggers right into us like a zombie with a crazed look in his eye. He moans something we can't make out and grabs my friend's open jacket with both hands...

Then proceeds to projectile vomit about a pitcher worth of beer and food right down the front of my friends shirt.

He staggers off leaving us completely slack jawed at what just happened, my friend is just staring ahead with this weird blank look as it takes him about two full minutes to process what happened. I'll admit I'm kind of a jerk because I start laughing my butt off while his face gets all rage twisted as he's trying to figure out if he wants to murder the guy or not. He's just standing there with a GW case in each hand, puke dripping off his chest, pants, and even his shoes. Finally some brain gear clicks into motion and he shouts "feth pizza! I'm going home!" turns around and stomps off to the parking garage to get his car.

It's been four days and he's still mad about it, for me it was absolutely hilarious and the fact he's still mad about it makes it even better.

I feel bad for your friend but that's pretty funny

I use to go to a GW that had awesome employees. I say employees because everytime I went, someone new worked there. I wasn't a regular (only was in once every month maybe), but they were flying through employees like mad. I remember telling the last guy who worked there, "Dude, every time I come here, a new guy works here." He laughed casually and the next time I came, he was still there. He made a quick joke about it and that was that. Next time I wanted to go though, I was informed that the GW had closed.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

 Vulcan wrote:
Jeez, Buttery, we need to get you a bodyguard!

I found the other third of my body weight in a cereal box, and am substantially harder to kidnap now.

To counter all the awfulness I posted in this thread, I once attended a tournament in Fanboy3 in Manchester. I was attending on the way home from a trip across country, and I was in the middle of bottle-rearing a kitten. She was with me in her carrier, and I bundled that up in my own blankets and donated gamer jackets, and put her in the basement because people eat at FB3, and may have cat allergies.
So between games, I got her out, checked she was toasty, and fed her by syringe on one of the back tables. You've never seen so many grown men go from Serious Wargaming Mode to melting squeaking children as they crouched down ever so quietly and peer at the tiny kitten.

Spoiler:

Your a cat fan you need this, cute and useful against he patriarchy!


If it is illegal get a smaller one and built it into a rhino or chimera

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

Spoiler:

Awwwwww...

I really can't be bothered with cats (except, like, lions, leopards, tigers, that sort of thing), but kittens ... d'aaawwww.

I honestly can't think of anything like these sorry tales happening near me. There's some odd folk at my club that we laugh about that on reflection aren't really funny, but nothing I'm comfortable sharing.

I did watch a reasonably successful Facebook group dissolve over a weekend due to the actions of a couple of trolls; it even drove the group owner to quit in disgust. Name-calling, threats of legal action, harassment and violence via private message, and once the whole thing blew over, another idiot kicked it all off again with the "I don't think that deleting that thread was a good idea, because of 'transparency'" nonsense.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

Spoiler:

Daww, she is so cute <3

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
peer at the tiny kitten.

Spoiler:

Except for the fact that all cats are evil and need to be exorcised, crucified, and have holy water, silver bullets and a stake through the heart applied to them without remorse, that is a seriously cute little kitten. Nice pic!

But I'm a dog person, and dogs are so much cooler.

Deadnight wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
peer at the tiny kitten.

Spoiler:

Except for the fact that all cats are evil and need to be exorcised, crucified, and have holy water, silver bullets and a stake through the heart applied to them without remorse, that is a seriously cute little kitten. Nice pic!

But I'm a dog person, and dogs are so much cooler.

I'll never forget the wise words of a former colleague (who greeted the end of each working day with "another day closer to the box.") on owning a dog;

"the problem with a dog is that you can kick it to death and it will forgive you with its dying look."

Love that line, for the truth in it, and because it always makes me chuckle.

My god Buttery, you are a magnet of horrible stuff.
My favorite story has to be the kid who was so smug he was in winning. We agreed to play 1850. He only brought 1500 or so. I offered two options, let him borrow my marines to bring it to 1850, ot reduce mine. he chose neither, said he was good.
My god was he salty he was loosing so bad. I was pulling fully legitimate tactics, like my sternguard choosing to fail a test with combat tactics, therefore taking him out of charge range.
His father comes in and says "I hope you feel good beating someone with more points, cheater" thankfully the coordinator was there to set it straight.

That's a bit bananas.
why didn't you just insist on cutting your points to 1500?

I did, he said that it was fine. This was early 6th where grey knights where still op

Well there's this one guys who literally melted a SW flyer with glue, but I don't have anything :(. I've read the other ones here though, beautiful!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Does a police violently arresting a guy outside the GW store count?

For doing what exactly?

Was the guy a gamer, or did he enter the store at any point?

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Yeah, my job involves a lot of close work with bronies.

Now I have visions of herds of them grazing while you and the other sancutary staff brush them down and put blankets on them.

Thanks a lot for that image :

 Chute82 wrote:

 paulson games wrote:
Just had an event last weekend that I thought was funny as hell, although my friend certainly didn't think so.

We'd just wrapped for the evening and were heading next door to the pizza place that has a pretty lively bar. We'd just stepped out the door of the flgs with gaming cases in hand when this guy kinda staggers right into us like a zombie with a crazed look in his eye. He moans something we can't make out and grabs my friend's open jacket with both hands...

Then proceeds to projectile vomit about a pitcher worth of beer and food right down the front of my friends shirt.

He staggers off leaving us completely slack jawed at what just happened, my friend is just staring ahead with this weird blank look as it takes him about two full minutes to process what happened. I'll admit I'm kind of a jerk because I start laughing my butt off while his face gets all rage twisted as he's trying to figure out if he wants to murder the guy or not. He's just standing there with a GW case in each hand, puke dripping off his chest, pants, and even his shoes. Finally some brain gear clicks into motion and he shouts "feth pizza! I'm going home!" turns around and stomps off to the parking garage to get his car.

It's been four days and he's still mad about it, for me it was absolutely hilarious and the fact he's still mad about it makes it even better.

I feel bad for your friend but that's pretty funny

It's one of those things that's absolutely hilarious... unless it happened to YOU.

Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:Was the guy a gamer, or did he enter the store at any point?

AncientSkarbrand wrote:For doing what exactly?

He never entered the store, he came running down the street, got tackled and hit by a police.

When I was stationed in Colorado, I was still fairly new to the hobby, and usually spent time looking for/visiting shops in the area. Luckily in Coloraod Springs, there were two shops that were almost nearly directly across the street from each other (on Academy)

So, my wife and I go into one of them, there's a huge, 400+ lbs. dude sitting at a computer in the corner behind the counter, playing Diablo. Doesn't pause the game, turn his head or any sort of acknowledgement that we existed. Then there was the "other guy" working at the store, he said something to us, but really he just mumbled incoherently and shuffled off away from us. He had a duncan Macleod pony-tail and was wearing calf length mocassins. Kinda ridiculous.

Anyhow, we're looking around, they have an amazing array of Reaper minis, a good board game selection, and a pretty good 40k/fantasy selection. It wasn't until the creepy, mental dude (a customer, not the first two guys who worked there) starts insistently showing me his magnetizing work on some terminators that the shop owner notices my wife and i. TBF she FINALLY notices that he's playing diablo, so they strike up a conversation about that, in which he says at near shouting volume that he wants to connect his computer's power to a treadmill so that he has to walk in order to play diablo at home, as a feeble attempt to lose weight.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to detach myself from the mental guy (seriously, he is physically leaning onto me, as if I'm the only reason he's standing up), with his funky smell and trying to talk all excitedly about his terminators.


Needless to say, once we left, we took our "permanent" business to the game shop across the street.

 Matthew wrote:

Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:Was the guy a gamer, or did he enter the store at any point?

AncientSkarbrand wrote:For doing what exactly?

He never entered the store, he came running down the street, got tackled and hit by a police.

I vote that if it has a chance of making people uncomfortable inside the game store it counts.

At our game store that closed it's doors we had a distraught special needs person come up and ask for money for food because he hadn't eaten in several days. All the other businesses in the area ran him off because they were afraid he would hurt their business. Myself and another person gave him the money we had which wasn't much and invited him into the store. Everyone in the store chipped in and the manager gave him some snacks to eat while we pooled our money for the man. We managed to scrape together around 400 dollars for him, and then several of us went with him to help him shop for groceries. It was truly horrific to see a community of otherwise good business owners let the issue of mental health impair their judgement in helping someone in need out.

The man unfortunately was kicked out of his home 4 weeks later because his caregivers didn't pay his rent as they were supposed to. He broke into a vehicle to stay warm during the cold winter night and froze to death. Kind of threw everyone in the store for a shock. He was a nice man who didn't get the care he deserved. So I guess the fact he was in the store sort of makes it a FLGS horror story.

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
When I was stationed in Colorado, I was still fairly new to the hobby, and usually spent time looking for/visiting shops in the area. Luckily in Coloraod Springs, there were two shops that were almost nearly directly across the street from each other (on Academy)

So, my wife and I go into one of them, there's a huge, 400+ lbs. dude sitting at a computer in the corner behind the counter, playing Diablo. Doesn't pause the game, turn his head or any sort of acknowledgement that we existed. Then there was the "other guy" working at the store, he said something to us, but really he just mumbled incoherently and shuffled off away from us. He had a duncan Macleod pony-tail and was wearing calf length mocassins. Kinda ridiculous.

Anyhow, we're looking around, they have an amazing array of Reaper minis, a good board game selection, and a pretty good 40k/fantasy selection. It wasn't until the creepy, mental dude (a customer, not the first two guys who worked there) starts insistently showing me his magnetizing work on some terminators that the shop owner notices my wife and i. TBF she FINALLY notices that he's playing diablo, so they strike up a conversation about that, in which he says at near shouting volume that he wants to connect his computer's power to a treadmill so that he has to walk in order to play diablo at home, as a feeble attempt to lose weight.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to detach myself from the mental guy (seriously, he is physically leaning onto me, as if I'm the only reason he's standing up), with his funky smell and trying to talk all excitedly about his terminators.


Needless to say, once we left, we took our "permanent" business to the game shop across the street.

What store in the Springs? If it's what I'm thinking it is, I've been going there for about a year and a half. The staff is (mostly) really fun and nice, and the community is (mostly) fun and good guys, playing everything from 40k to Magic, DnD and Flames of War.

This thread is just a roller coaster of emotions.


Few years back some buddies and me drove up to Nashville for the State MtG Tournament. Over 200 folks showed up, and the event stretched across the mall's hall from the main store to a larger, wider, deeper empty storefront.

At the beginning of the day, everything was going great. Unfortunately, the air conditioning at the front of the vacant store couldn't keep up with the mass of bodies. As long as you were winning you got to stay up front where it was nice and cool, but if you started to slip in the rankings you went farther and farther back where the heat and the smell of sweating, unwashed bodies got worse and worse. Have to say, it made one quite determined to win!

 NorseSig wrote:

 Matthew wrote:

Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:Was the guy a gamer, or did he enter the store at any point?

AncientSkarbrand wrote:For doing what exactly?

He never entered the store, he came running down the street, got tackled and hit by a police.

I vote that if it has a chance of making people uncomfortable inside the game store it counts.

At our game store that closed it's doors we had a distraught special needs person come up and ask for money for food because he hadn't eaten in several days. All the other businesses in the area ran him off because they were afraid he would hurt their business. Myself and another person gave him the money we had which wasn't much and invited him into the store. Everyone in the store chipped in and the manager gave him some snacks to eat while we pooled our money for the man. We managed to scrape together around 400 dollars for him, and then several of us went with him to help him shop for groceries. It was truly horrific to see a community of otherwise good business owners let the issue of mental health impair their judgement in helping someone in need out.

The man unfortunately was kicked out of his home 4 weeks later because his caregivers didn't pay his rent as they were supposed to. He broke into a vehicle to stay warm during the cold winter night and froze to death. Kind of threw everyone in the store for a shock. He was a nice man who didn't get the care he deserved. So I guess the fact he was in the store sort of makes it a FLGS horror story.

That's absolutely horrifying.
It speaks about gamers that you were the ones not to turn a blind eye, but it's not nearly enough of a positive to kill the "holy gak, no" in that story.

That's absolutely horrifying.
It speaks about gamers that you were the ones not to turn a blind eye, but it's not nearly enough of a positive to kill the "holy gak, no" in that story.

Yeah, that is kind of our reaction. The worst part is there are plenty of people who would have given shelter to the man if the man or the community would have known.

Not to mention we all gave pretty much everything we had on us. I know when some of the local business owners found out that the man was in their place of business and the employees didn't help the man, those employees were fired. The community wasn't too happy either at what the caregivers did either. The local DA tried to file charges but there apparently wasn't enough evidence of wrongdoing.

Thats not really fair to the employees. They might not have known if he was telling the truth, and could have been worried about losing their jobs. Was he already known to them and the local community? Did they have reason to believe or disbelieve his claims?

However, the right thing to do however would have been to call the Police and allowed the guy to remain in the shops where it was warm until they arrived. It was the Police's responsibility to deal with it - determining if he was telling the truth, and then contacting social services to arrange emergency accommodation.