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Hello, I have been wondering how do people cope or are there any others who experience ethe same problem as me: everyone hates you for playing 40k your brother hates you for you not playing CSGO so much as warhammer and being socially awkward, your dad hates you for asking him to take you to the LFGS and doesn't allow you to go by yourself.
Srsly people I need support!

Please!

Well, i'm not sure how old you are, and I can tell you that as you get older you tend not to care what others think about you. But honestly it's no ones fething business what you do with your own time. It's your time, your money, your hobby. If people talk down to you about it, tell them to go to hell.

There's nothing that says that you have to be socially awkward to enjoy nerdy things. You can dress normally, have a good job and be a contributing member of society and still like nerdy games.

I'll echo what Brutus_Apex said: as you get older, you will realize it doesn't matter much what other people think. And you'll also realize they don't care as much as you imagined - I seriously, seriously doubt anyone *hates* you for playing 40k. Maybe your brother is annoyed because he wants you to play CSGO, maybe your dad doesn't understand the hobby and thinks it's silly, but no one hates you for it.

Keep doing your own thing, find other people who like what you like, and learn to take "haters" in stride. If they really feel that strongly about what you do with your free time, they're the one with a problem, not you.

Yes I understand what you are saying. but you see my father's opinion is basically the only person's opinion who a care about and it troubles me very much. It is as if papa Nurgle begun disliking one of his servants, of course, the servant would be troubled!
As for my brother, I care little of his opinion on me, but it is painful to weather a hail of swearing and sexual insults addressing your favourite hobby and yourself.

When I was a kid, I was very ashamed to show my nerdy hobbies to not-nerdy people.

Later, I discovered that nerdy and not-nerdy were artificial constructs, that that colleague of mine at the university, charming and ladiesman was a DA player, and the Tank in our DnD group was the captain of the rugby team.

Few suggestions from an old man:

- Be self confident about your hobbies. Do them well, with passion, and you will discover that unexpected people could not mind them, or even admire well painted minis. This will get better the older you grow.

- Enjoy your hobbies and don't be absorbed too much. School is a priority as doing sports and groom yourself.

- Talk with your dad if possible to clear things and work them out.

And yes, as people said, hate is a big word. Probably what is happening is misunderstanding and lack of communication.

Bon courage y animo, hombre!

First off I'd like to just offer my support, its always unfortunate to see another person sad like this.

I can't do much materially to help, and I don't want to presume to know your situation, so this token gesture of good will is all I can manage.

Could you talk to your dad about the insults maybe?

Thanks for the advice and support guy!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh and Brutus Apex: I am 14.

Anyone whom plays CSGO and then proceedes to bash you for playing Warhammer is not someone worth listeing to at all.
And secondly, dont give two hoots about what people think or say about your choosen hobby. Be they your parents or your siblings. Hang in there, things will improve as you grow older

Dude seriously...I'm part of the special operations community within the US army, shoot in competitive 3gun and play 40k,warmahordes, mtg etc. Another buddy of mine is on a SF team whose emblem on the front of their shirt is the death star and the back shows SF dudes parachuting from the millennium falcon. Own your hobby and tell your bro I said E.A.D.
Sincerely,
Quick

Lol, CSGO. Because playing a game with a bunch of toxic 12 year olds, hackers, and Russians is so much more "cooler". At least you can develop communication skills playing 40k because you actually have to talk to them face to face.

Honestly, grab your brother and an Eldar and Tau player. Tell them to bring as much as possible cheese. Add a huge disclaimer: don't do this at home or in friendly scenarios. Watch as one of the most hilarious matches in history unfolds and your brother is flabbergasted at the stunts they pull.

That or show him kopinsky art. If he doesn't like that then he deserves to die on a pire like a heretic.


BTW boy, where are you from? I mean regionally speaking.

Had for years the same problem with my Mom, for her it was a waste of money and it takes way too much space.

So i got it all, the "you spent to much time with those guys" to "you should sell all that junk, you don't use them anyways" and " you're a grow man now, stop playing with toys like a little kid".

With time things got a little bit calmer, i still get a comment or two from time to time, but nothing like the heated arguments i had with her younger.

Once i stopped quickly by the Shop while she was doing some shoe shopping a bit further, we had to go elsewhere after that so i had only like 10 minutes, and you know how it goes..., you start talking Geek stuff with all the guys in the shop and the 10 minutes becomes half an hour.

So of course she comes in allrady infuriated, but kept silent, i was in line behind another customer, because i had bought something, and then she started been really grumpy at me and even yelling.

it was not really the yelling that bothered me, me and my mom, even though we love each other and we are the only ones for each other( all of our familly is dead, we're the last two ones thats close, and then there is distant relatives etc), but where're like Cat and Dog.

WHat bothered me was that she started her rant about the hobby like she always did back then, but in front of all the poeple in the shop.

From then on, the shop owner asked that if i could, i would not ever take my Mom over there, and she was officialy dubbed the "Greater Demon of Khorne"...

Now its kinda Ok, strangely she became much cooler about all this after the Lord of the Rings movies came out, she's a huge fan of LotR, at least once or twice a year she watch the extended version of the movies and then watch them back with the cast commentaries!! (18hours movie marathon) and she also like very much the Marvelvers movies.

40k is fun to play, but your relationship with your brother is more important. Even if he is a D!c|<. Don't lose or abandon your hobby, but don't do the hobby when you could be making memories with him. Same with your family. The hobby will always be there, family may not.

Now that the adult, responsible commentary is out of the way, if you do those things and handle it like a responsible individual, and they still give you gak, don't let it bother you. Everyone wastes time, money, or both to stay sane. Are you spending money on weed? on booze? on prescription pills? What would be more "normal?" Spending it on a car? Oh well, not everyone likes cars.

Now, perhaps saving a little money (man I wish I did) when you're younger is advisable, but if your budgeting your money responsibly and work hard for it, your money and your time are yours to spend.

Don't really know what to say about your Dad. Mine never cared much for my 40K hobby and never said too much about it. 20 years later he enjoys looking at some of the models I build and paint, he's mellowed out a bit. He's even mentioned that my grandpa thought my model painting was very good and even cool. Grandpa used to oil paint and was a house painter for a very long time. I didn't think he'd ever noticed.
My stepson and I bonded through 40K. we found common interest and enjoyment. which I think helped us a lot.
He's a very good painter when he has the time, and shares pictures of his models with me now and then.
For myself I think maybe it's a strange hobby we have. I've looked back to think of all the money wasted on 40K over the years and would say, maybe your dad thinks it's not worth the money. Again, for myself, I think about the price of the models and how to get the most out of them. Mostly that's through painting them to the fullest and the best I can. It shows some amount of dedication, it's something to be proud of.
Don't know about your brothers game. I'd just say make some time for 40K and for other things too.
Hope that helps a little.

I keep my hobby activities concealed from my friends; in this day and age where people are immediately judged for certain hobby pursuits, TT wargaming is perhaps considered to be the "nerdiest" hobby of the bunch, although to this day I still don't understand how hanging out with friends and playing tabletop games is considered nerdy. To most people, I'm a charming young guy who gets on with [more or less] every clique, and who refuses to be beaten when people try to challenge him to take vodka shots with them (despite me hating alcohol). Only a select few guys and gals know about my hobby, and I intend to keep it that way.

As for my family, they've always been happy about my hobby - my parents have had 2 other sons who played with Airfix and Scalextrics with me back in the day, and both of them had a small hand in TT games, and even 40k, at one point. They do get pissy at me having a lot of stuff sometimes, but are otherwise content with it all, even impressed with some of the paintwork I manage to produce.

I don't understand why somebody's dad would not be willing to take their son/daughter to a wargames club.It's not like you're asking them to play with you, although that would be a great father/son bonding if he did. At the very least taking you to a LGS would be a sign of care about what you want to do, even if he doesn't want to participate.

I will just hope that your family becomes more accepting of your hobby as time passes. Friends ultimately don't matter - I just keep my hobby a secret from most people to avoid unneeded hassle and mockery, but ultimately I don't care what they think, and neither should you.

Hope that helps; continue to do the thing you love no matter how many people dislike you doing so, and leave them behind if possible

G.A

Wait until you meet the 40k players who hate you for your army choice and won't play you.

OP your beginning to understand why I don't have much patience for people. If I wasted time on all the haters out there I would die of old age before getting to do anything else. All I do now is enjoy the hobby without the community. I'll talk here and stuff but that's as much social as I can handle.

Saves me a ton on rules too since all I do is paint and model.

Thanks for sharing this sushi2001. First off, let me say that if ever you need someone to talk with, regardless of what that is, shoot me a PM and I will make every effort to have a chat with you.

Let me start by echoing a lot of the great stuff that has been said here. When I was your age, I was just starting 40k too, and I was also going through a lot of tough stuff emotionally. There's a strange feeling like everyone else seems to care so much about not caring or actively attacking what you enjoy. However, the first thing to realize is that, for as much as it may seem that way, these people really aren't thinking too much about it. At least at school, a lot of people are just saying things because they also don't know who they are or what they're doing yet, and there's a social pressure to stomp out anything that's "different". I suspect your brother's attitude is a little bit based on this same thing.

At the same time, be thankful you have a brother that wants you to enjoy what they like too! If you have fun playing games with him, you'll get plenty of opportunities to crack a joke with your brother about the game (screaming "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!" is a lot of fun no matter what game you're playing!).

As for your dad, there's a lot of ways things can go depending on what kind of dad you got. If your dad is at all abusive, then you'll want to talk to someone at your school or someone else you trust.

Otherwise, here's a quick list of things:

#1 - If you dad doesn't really care about the hobby, that's fine! Your dad may not be a gamer at all, but if you show that you enjoy this hobby, your dad will respect that and give you your space. You don't need your dad to take part in the game for it to be something that's good for you or for you to like it.

#2 - If your dad doesn't understand how it's good, remember that these models don't get old or go bad. GW has been around for a long time. I'm 31 now, and I have some models still from when I started when I was 14! It can be expensive, but if you consider the cost of the game spread out over DECADES of playing, it can be considered one of the cheapest!

#3 - If your dad doesn't understand how it's helpful, show him how you're learning how to do math better as a result of the game. 40k is great for getting to understand fractions and statistics! If you can learn what your odds are of succeeding on any given dice roll, the ability to figure that out is a useful tool through the rest of your life!

#4 - If your dad thinks you're not getting enough out, tell him how this game pushes you to be more social. This game helped me become more social and interactive myself. I was literally probably the 2nd or 3rd most "loser-guy-with-no-girlfriend" in my highschool, and I'm typing this now next to the most amazing wife ever (who I didn't meet until I was 21, and we met over a game of Magic).

#5 - Lastly, if your dad thinks that no one worth while plays this, check this article: http://spikeybits.com/2015/12/the-top-5-celebrities-that-play-warhammer.html

These celebrities play or have played it. I'm sure there's more (wouldn't be surprised if Seth Green plays, or others who haven't revealed that they play it). But if your dad truly believes this, well, you'll have to find a way to ignore that. If it's important to you, then not only is that all that matters, but you can be proud of the fact that you like it!


Hope this all helps!

My wife hates me for painting instead of watching tv shows all night with her. No one else cares

My dad wasn't a fan of my gaming when I started - but it was my hobby and I really didn't care if he didn't like it.

However, I didn't start gaming until I was 17, and didn't start 40k until I was 18, and school and those other peer issues at that time didn't really exist for me.

As I got older, the opinions of other people on my hobbies became something I cared less and less for.

You should take up lifting.

At fourteen you and your brother are going to be buttheads to each other. Just the way it is.

Adults on the other hand fail to understand that being family is not a license to abuse you. Toxic people don't deserve a place in your life just because they share blood. That spot has to be earned. I think more people would be happier if they let go of bad siblings.

 Gamgee wrote:
Wait until you meet the 40k players who hate you for your army choice and won't play you.

OP your beginning to understand why I don't have much patience for people. If I wasted time on all the haters out there I would die of old age before getting to do anything else. All I do now is enjoy the hobby without the community. I'll talk here and stuff but that's as much social as I can handle.

Saves me a ton on rules too since all I do is paint and model.

It goes on periods, you know. Me and my friends back in the homeland started WH40k like 8 times, every time like little kids. But with more money and social acceptance THAT'S DANGEROUS

 Brutus_Apex wrote:
Well, i'm not sure how old you are, and I can tell you that as you get older you tend not to care what others think about you. But honestly it's no ones fething business what you do with your own time. It's your time, your money, your hobby. If people talk down to you about it, tell them to go to hell.

There's nothing that says that you have to be socially awkward to enjoy nerdy things. You can dress normally, have a good job and be a contributing member of society and still like nerdy games.

What he said.

Seriously...do your own thing. In time you'll weed out the people who judge you for enjoying what you chose to enjoy. Except your family of course, when it comes to them just strategically deflect the conversation elsewhere. My wife loves to give me crap about warhammer. Then I in turn mention her obsession with throw pillows. Convo over.

I used to try and hide the fact I like nerdy stuff like 40k and World of Warcraft, then a buddy of mine in college pointed out how ridiculous it was. I still remember what he said "If you're doing something you love and it doesn't hurt anybody then why care what they think. I will never apologize or feel ashamed for something I enjoy." Since then I don't care what people think about it because my hobbies make me happy. My wife will take a jibe or two at me every once in a while but if anyone says anything to her about it she always says that I may play with my "little men" but there are a whole lot worse things I could be doing.

I've also realized that a hobby doesn't define who you are as a person or restrict you to certain social groups. I paint and play with models for fun. I've played DnD and even Human vs. Zombies across a college campus. I was also a tank commander for 4 years and now i'm a lawyer. Just be yourself, live your life, do what makes you happy, don't judge others and remember that the people judging you have way more problems.

I can't really do much to help other than to offer my support and the little bit of advice i've picked up over the years. Things will get better even if it takes a little time. I hope this helps.

A word of advice I can offer is to focus on the things you have in common with your family. My family never gave a damn about my nerdy interests, especially D&D and wargaming, but we all share a love of sports. Any time my brother started giving me crap about being a nerd, I just changed the subject to college football. Eventually, my family started seeing the merit in hobbies, and now they're always asking me if I've finished any new models.

That stated, if your family is in any way abusive, you have the right to tell someone. Please do.

Look at the brightside, already you never got called a molester because you like 40K like my cousin called me.
In the end, if you are still reliant on your Family, you may have to bend to their whims a bit.

My dad said Warhammer was a waste and wouldn't get me any skills or anywhere in life. Then I used Beastmen as a teacher to help do a class on Greek mythological monsters, and later got a different job due to my attention to detail, seen in my painting. He since backed off and admitted he was wrong.
However, at 14 you have a long way to go before you can prove it useful, although you can show him your improving painting skills and tactical mind. Good luck

CSGO? Isn't that a Counterstrike computer game?

Your bro is just mad that your hobby actually gets you out in the real world and interacting with other humans directly.

I'm not sure how sexuality comes into it, but if he really thinks hobbies are so sexualised then wish him good luck with his fake pixel boyfriend/hostages on his computer game! Make sure he doesn't engage sticky keys by hitting shift too often.

nareik wrote:
CSGO? Isn't that a Counterstrike computer game?

Your bro is just mad that your hobby actually gets you out in the real world and interacting with other humans directly.

I'm not sure how sexuality comes into it, but if he really thinks hobbies are so sexualised then wish him good luck with his fake pixel boyfriend/hostages on his computer game! Make sure he doesn't engage sticky keys by hitting shift too often.

I'm pretty sure you don't need shift for CS:GO

I love videogames, but it still baffles me how videogames are considered to be more socially acceptable than TT gaming; while one can sometimes find you new internet friends, or gives you a chance to interact with people you know from home, the other is an actual social event that is far more rewarding in that regard.

Yet hanging out with your mates face to face and playing on the tabletop is more nerdy than starting at a screen for hours and possibly talking to one or two people via IM or a microphone. Go figure.

What's your dad into?

Would your dad let you have friends over to play at home?

Ask your dad to play a game to see what it's actually like and what the game involves. He might think you move your little toys around a table making machine gun and asplosion noises.

If you're dads not willing, you might just have to stick with it kid. It'll be easier when you're not reliant on your father to take you places.

Ignore your brother, siblings are usually dicks about stuff regardless of what it is you do. Tell him to man up and play a real game like Dark Souls or something Online gaming makes you socially awkward as well, more so in some ways. At least you have to meet people face to face and look them in the eye. A lot if kids I know struggle with that side of things.