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I am referring only to social games where the main focus is having a beer & some fun. I'm new to 40k and my friend (and main opponent) is new to the game despite having collected & painting armies for years- he's never actually played with any of his stuff.

So my question is, to what extent do you discuss your army list prior to D-Day? We obviously want a well-balanced affair and we are enjoying staying in touch about what models we are buying/ painting. Our forces are growing together.

Luck of the dice & inherent tactical ability aside, neither one of us wants to destroy the other.

So, what etiquette would you advise? Keeping one another fully briefed on what models you intend to field (and even bouncing tactics ideas off one another), or simply setting a points limit & keeping what's in your army a surprise until deployment?

Please also explain your logic.

I like talking my list out with my opponent while we write it, I think it keeps the game balanced, but a lot of opponents are weary when it comes to that idea.

Additionally, what armies are you guys playing? That can very greatly affect the necessity of doing so. If I have Dark Eldar, a very rock paper scissors army, and my opponent has space wolves (which can be very mechanized or not at all) I would want to talk with my opponent, but if he is bringing tau and I am bringing orks, orks are gonna have a hard time but as long as everyone is playing casually, they compliment each other nicely as tau like to shoot and orks like to assault.

(these are just very rough examples.)

We're both loyalist SM but he also has a small Eldar army & a Tau army if our narritive gets a little shaky.

Then honestly I don't think its a super big deal.

Space Marines are very flexible and it is pretty straightforward to write a good TAC list with them.

You guys can play a few games one way and if it isn't working then switch it up, thats the fun of TTWG!

I like lists to be a surprise!

In a simple social game, yes, to a point. Namely the terrible lack of balance in 40K can produce an awful game if you don't give it a small consideration up front. With new players I'd definitely suggest discussing the lists - not the minutia (i.e. specific wargear for each character) but the general layout of the force.

I find discussing the "theme" to the game is often helpful (even referring to games outside of 40K).

I generally let my opponent know if I'm bring a Lord of War or a tourney level list, that's about it

No warning necessary with Dante. And if the LoW is a WK, most lists can't even do anything about it lol.

 jreilly89 wrote:
I generally let my opponent know if I'm bring a Lord of War or a tourney level list, that's about it

Pretty much this.

A general power level - “Odd-ball ineffective”. Fluffy, Casual, Friendly, Tournament. General idea of how competitive you are aiming to be. This is also mitigated by army “tier”. A casual Eldar list is going to be stronger then the average casual marine list.

If you are going to spam anything (tons of flyers, for example) or a major rock/paper/scissor unit (like super heavies) you might want to give your opponent a head’s up. If not, you might just show up to the game, find out they have no answer to your list, and don’t feel like spending a few hours getting kicked around with no recourse.

40k is a fun game when everyone is on the same page. It takes a little pre-game negotiating to get to that level. If you are playing in a small group and everyone is more or less a known quality, this is less of an issue. Random pick up games it can get bad though.

I feel like IKs and vehicular flyers have enough disadvantages that they don't need warnings. You easily beat knights by only killing 50-60% of them. They have AV 12 sides with 6 HP. Super rough there.

I have 3 WKs as they were once only MC Heavy Support choices. Since they became GC LoW choices, I rarely take 2, and always discuss if my opponent is ok with that. I find most players will not begrudge my playing at least 1, but 2 is a bit much for casual games.
Because I always have this pre-game discussion with my opponents, we end up playing a game that is enjoyable for both of us.

You pretty much have to have a conversation with your opponent about what kind of game you both expect. Or, you need to have some sort of pre-existing understanding.

My regular buddy and I always touch base on the main points: Superheavies or heavy Mech and if we're bringing fun lists, hards lists or stupid/experimental lists.
For Pickup games at the FLGS we basically go over the same, but I also ask how experienced they are with the game and if they're playing one of the weaker codexs so I can adjust accordingly.

After deployment I also make sure to point out units and characters and give a brief rundown of what they do: this has rending, this is AP2, this is my Warlord, this will assault etc.
I used to talk through my whole list before first turn, but that's a) a time sink, and b) too much information at once for some players.
I think the general overview is always appreciated and it only takes a couple of minutes to enhance your play experience and the pre-game chat about list types can head off hard feelings if someone gets a hard counter or Superheavy 'sprung' on them when they weren't prepared.

I have lots of new players in my group who aren't exactly familiar with how all the armies work yet. I make a point to tell new players what IG do and what they should be prepared for. I've been playing for longer than all the newer players combined so I think it's essential to ensure a good time is had by all. Not exactly what's in my list mind you, but I'll recommend things like "hey make sure you have a way to deal with hordes" and " I would strongly advise against just lining up and trading shots with me." I'll usually know their army better too and try to recommend counters or tactics. Not in a preachy way but I'll subtly hint

It's a game and it's meant to be fun. I hate curbstomping new players and despise the people that do it on purpose. If I'm up against n

If it's a more experienced player I'll just tell him I play guard, but that's pretty much it. Odds are they already know what I'm gonna do

It's correct etiquette to ask if your opponent's familiar with your army/what you're putting down and if anything needs explaining. Avoid being accidentally confusing and accidentally patronizing at the same time.

I have not seen the section in the BRB that deals with explaining one's list. I find it leads to questions more than a good time.

My group usually doesn't bother with much discussion before the game, just the statement of 'Fluffy' or 'Competitive' 'That List' is agreed on beforehand. During game though the guys love explaining how their lists work and interact so when tournaments come around we're pretty up to date on what we might be facing.

If I have a list that I feel is janky (such as IG tank spam) or I feel like using a baneblade I usually bring 1-2 other lists as backups. My meta varies from uber-narrative casual to cut-throat competitive.

Discussing the power lv before the game if any one is planning to deviate from the usual is a good idea in the current state of the game.
Saying what sort of list style you are going to field is not something I like to do since it invites list tailoring, and I don't like that at all.

For example I don't always like to say if I am going to bring Inq or Orks, and I never like to say if I am going mechanized, all foot slogging or something in between.
This is just to avoid seducing my opponent to switch out all his special weapons. Its no fun playing a mechanized list with all melta or a foot slogger list vs all pie plate spam and high rate of fire weapons.
I do however warn if I plan to bring the crazy stuff. such as pumped up stompa's etc. since those deviate from the usual power lv my opponents could expect from me to bring.

Here's how I handle things with a few buddies of mine, and it's generally my favorite way to prepare for a game:
First, we figure out when we're going to play. (Some of my friends meet at a local place most Tuesdays, so that's easy. Another buddy and I just meet up at each other's houses for games, so that takes some scheduling.)
Then, we kind of talk about what we're going for. Generally, we chat about rules and armies and stuff enough that it's pretty obvious.
Just for example, I finished painting up my Warhound about a week ago, and had a game last Saturday. It did not take a Tactical Genius to figure out what I wanted to bring. But I brought it up anyways, and he wrote his list with that in mind - I knew he was going to bring CSM, and approximately what models he owns, and he knew I was going to be bringing a Warhound backed up by Space Marines.
A day or two before we play, we trade lists, and go over what the other player is bringing. In this case, he brought a couple Knights armed with dual gatling guns, some Predators and a Land Raider in that one heavy tank formation, some Chosen with Meltaguns, and, just for the fluff factor, Kharn.
(By the way: If you can get Kharn into melee combat with it, he actually kicks some serious ass against titans. He got 5 Hull Points on my Warhound in one turn of Assault, and probably would have killed it had I not intervened with a bunch of body shie- SCOUTS to force a challenge and save the day.)

I personally like this method because it allows you to sort-of 'Tune in' your lists, so that they're well suited to fighting each other. Not list tailoring, exactly, (We both still write our lists so that they could fight anyone, if they had to,) but 'List sizing' might be a good term. You never end up with a situation where I brought my gravstar and Chapter Master Smashfunker and he brought out his Slaanesh Terminators for a fluffy game, and we usually end up fighting each other on fairly even ground. (Sometimes, we'll even play the same or slightly modified lists against each other to 'Tune them in'. I got Deathwatch about the same time he finished up painting his Khorne Hound horde, so we played a trio of games with about the same list, fine tuning and rejiggering after each game to optimize and make more competitive. He trounced me the first game, I won the second - Barely (He got some really bad rolls near the end that cost him dearly) - and then the third went to me pretty handily after a good alpha-strike took out his most important assets.)

Bound/Unbound, LOW/no LOW, number of detachments, and oddball books like Stronghold Assault

 JimOnMars wrote:
number of detachments, and oddball books like Stronghold Assault

Is that really a thing in your local area?
Hey just to be warned I play fortificions or I am using 3 detachments etc.. .

Yes, its good to give a good idea to your opponent on what you are going to bring and vice-versa to insure that the game will be resonnably competitive. Its also important to discuss the scenario and place the terrain together to make sure no one as an unfair advantage. With like minded individual with whom you play regularly, this is very easy doesn't take as much time as one might expect.

We always discuss lists right before the game, and even earlier (1-2 days) if one of us plan to use a big model.

We always tell each other what faction we are fielding, after all you would know who you are going to war against.

We normally also discuss super heavies, gargantuan creatures and sometimes flyers because not everyone has a lot of anti air stuff.

If your list is built a specific way (Lots of fliers, mostly AV, horde, lots of jetbikes), tell them. Any big model or unit, like a Land Raider or Eldar Avatar, point it out.
If it is a standard TAC list, just go for it.

Social contract between wargamers strongly encourages it. You don't want someone bringing 9 Riptides to a friendly game.

Personally I don't give a full run down. I will let them know detachment benefits etc and if my hq or any of my units has excotic wargear (as a tau player everything but path finders drones fire warriors kroot and vespids can have some form of exotic wargear)

Typically we reveal what army we are playing and all tactics and power levels are okay. Typically just knowing what army your opponent is bringing allows you to make a fair list against them.

 Vector Strike wrote:
We always discuss lists right before the game, and even earlier (1-2 days) if one of us plan to use a big model.

This tends to be how we do it too, although a lot of the time we'll just straight-up help one another build army lists, especially for newer factions like Genestealer Cults, and design opposing lists that can take them down.

If you're playing against an unfamiliar opponent I find it good practise to ask if they want a rundown of your army list, including any special rules that might be a bit unusual (like Cult Ambush or similar), and I'll ask questions about theirs too if there's stuff I'm unfamiliar with. I generally bring print-outs to the game too; makes it easier to keep track of things and gives your opponent something to reference in case of disputes.