Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Count me in the handshake side of the equation.

CB

Hand shake before and after the game is a must.

Before and after in a tournament.

After in casual play.

I've only ever had one opponent refuse the handshake, after a blowout match.

I've only failed to offer once that I can recall, after a particularly unsportsmanlike game.

This is probably just the result of cultural differences, but could not disagree more with you. Friends usually don't shake hands strangers or formal acquaintances do. You can shake my hand and still be a total ass in the game, its just a way to introduce yourself in a polite and semi formal mater not a guarantee for a fun game.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I do agree that it has its usages if you a have never met the other person, or that it could become a useful part in the ritual of tournament play, but this is more good social etiquette than an important part of a good game.

Yeah, in Australia (or at least in my little area), it really seems like the handshake happens at tournaments and first games between new acquaintances. Once you've played someone once, you've been introduced and the handshake is done. The handshake at a tournament is a kind of formal thing, but regular games with someone you already know? Nah, just get on with it.

The Handshake is one of those socially enforced things. If someone puts their hand out at the end of a game I'll shake it, because it's expected of me not because I want to.

Sitting across the table from some people is gag worthy due to the smell, why would I want to make physical contact with them. Luckily anti bac hand wash has been invented.

When playing with friends, well it's just not needed is it. We have know each other for more than a decade.

Wow, thanks international folks. This is all actually very interesting to hear. Interested to hear from more countries. I know we have several Japanese or Russian players or from South America.

I've been in the medical business too long to want to shake hands with most people.

 Gitkikka wrote:
I've been in the medical business too long to want to shake hands with most people.

The surely you know all about anti bacterial hand wash ?



I quite often take a trip to the little boys room directly after the handshake as it happens !

I'm sure I have shaken hands after a game once or twice, and I have nothing in particular against the practice. However, it just isn't that common around here. Seems overly formal. We're playing with toy soldiers, not having a business meeting. And amongst close friends it would feel particularly weird.

Always shake hands and apologises for either winning or losing. I am British, after all...

 Peregrine wrote:
My opinion on the post-game handshake:

And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You'll get the chance to put the knife in

...Oh-oh...

I seldom play against people I don't know anymore, and it would feel weird to shake the hands of people that in some cases I've known for 20 odd years.

However, if it's been a close game or I feel my opponent has played exceptionally well, I'll sometimes offer it in a congratulatory way after a game.

At tournaments I go to, a hand shake before the game is very important too, (usually after deployment before the first turn begins) and I think sets up the precedent for a good natured game (as you've both just agreed to try in earnest to have an enjoyable game).

It's a practice I have started bringing to PUG games too. Shake hand before and after.

I always have great games, I've never once had a bad opponent the whole time I have played Warhammer. I wonder how much being freindly and cordial with handshakes plays into that. I like to think it does.

I don't shake the hand of a friend, only because there's no need to. Among strangers/casual acquaintances, no excuses not to. It's a sign of poor sportsmanship to do otherwise. Maybe that's just been driven into my head from playing sports as a youth, but it's important to seperate the game itself from the person playing it. They're (most likely) an individual worthy of respect, and this hobby is small enough as it is, without pushing people away with poor sportsmanship and offensive behavior.

That said, if the person is a total ass, the handshake becomes less a sign of respect and more a device of closure. Now I don't have to deal with you and our interaction has ended. This is not just with 40k, but life in general.

Not a fan of the handshake. I don't like touching other people, nor them touching me especially when it's a low hygiene gamer type. The handshake always feel forced, it's always the guy that kicks the tar out of you in a blow out match that's immediately throwing his hand out there hey mate good game! No it wasn't even a game, let alone a good one. I've never seen anyone who loses a game offer a handshake so IMO it always comes off as conceited and quite insincere.

I never liked it when it was forced in kids baseball as it was always so half hearted by both teams it was pathetic, it's still no better as an adult so I'll take a pass. If you do have a good game you have a verbal exchange maybe BS a bit but a handshake does nothing to bolster the experience.

I always try to offer the handshake, even when I get my teeth kicked in. It's a bit of a "no hard feelings" thing.

Thinking on this (and I'm not sure if I definitely do this all the time or not, I'm sure I do) if I lose I offer my had at the point of defeat/concession and congratulate my opponent. This seems to be the case in other I player at the club too, friends and all.

Equally on the rare occasion that I'm not offered a handshake when/if I win I will offer my hand and tell them well played/apologise for my good fortune. In retrospect I think this might be a rugby thing where you always shake every opponents hand and clap them off the pitch. Nothing seems more natural than congratulating/commiserating.

The whole germ this is perplexing to me though. I don't suppose anyone was in a hypoallergenic bubble before they go to their gaming venue so a handshake shouldn't be too fatal and I'd wash my hands prior to post match beers/grub anyways.

There's far more to be gained by a hearty and friendly gesture at there end of a match than the minute chance of catching Ebola/Whatevs from a handshake.

Very interesting discussion, I'm grateful for. I can see not shaking the hand of a sick person or one who has just coughed/sneezed in hand. Too many years running health campaigns. Nothing here has been offensive or unreasonable to me in the slightest but it is quite a variety of answers. Thanks for your thoughts.

 VeteranNoob wrote:
Very interesting discussion, I'm grateful for. I can see not shaking the hand of a sick person or one who has just coughed/sneezed in hand. Too many years running health campaigns. Nothing here has been offensive or unreasonable to me in the slightest but it is quite a variety of answers. Thanks for your thoughts.

If I’m under the weather or if my allergies are acting up, I’ll normally give that as a (valid) excuse.

"Fun game! I’d shake your hand, but that’s probably not a good idea right now. You understand <sniffle>.”

So you get the respectful closure, but without the germs.

I offer the handshake.
It is a social event and that is just one more polite interaction.
I have surprised a few young players with it (in a good way).
It seems to convey a measure of respect that people surprisingly get little of.

There are some people as described, that just look at it as another means to "take the boots to you".
I just "love" people who grab my fingers (no palm) and give them a crush, I usually reply with a raised eyebrow and say "Is that all you got? You were trying to make it hurt right?".
It will never do to reward people who behave badly.

People give me a good game, a genuine thanks is in order.

 Talizvar wrote:

I just "love" people who grab my fingers (no palm) and give them a crush, I usually reply with a raised eyebrow and say "Is that all you got? You were trying to make it hurt right?".

More often than not, they just missed. No need to assume malice.

@kronk: You "know" the accident from the not playing nice.
Most people adjust to the "slightly firm" rather than the crushing if they miss, "I am super happy or I am making sure you use your other hand for throwing dice" is the more rare event.
I have had enough handshakes in the business end of things to know the difference between being blissfully unaware or a domineering jerk.
It IS good advice to not assume malice immediately, but worth noting to not be "that guy" and grab the fingers unless you plan on kissing that hand.

notprop wrote:There's far more to be gained by a hearty and friendly gesture at there end of a match than the minute chance of catching Ebola/Whatevs from a handshake.

You won't catch it from brocolli either, but there's still a little person in your head looking at green gunk or certain honking sweaty palms, and going 'ew'.



Is it considered bad form to have a little bottle of alcohol gel on standby?

Tum te tum...

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
Two of us got the boot from a tournament recently over the handshake. My opponent had turned every handshake that I'd seen into an arm twist.
I couldn't help myself and stuck my toe in the back of his knee as he spun - he took out two tables and broke a heap of expensive terrain.
Not my proudest moment.

No you were doing it wrong. You look them square in the eye, and shake their hand with the hardest squeeze possible. That way they are distracted when your friend picks their wallet...did I say too much?

I will shake hands although I prefer at the side of the table. Sometimes that lean will pull my back. Would you like to know more about why it sucks to grow old???

 Frazzled wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
Two of us got the boot from a tournament recently over the handshake. My opponent had turned every handshake that I'd seen into an arm twist.
I couldn't help myself and stuck my toe in the back of his knee as he spun - he took out two tables and broke a heap of expensive terrain.
Not my proudest moment.

No you were doing it wrong. You look them square in the eye, and shake their hand with the hardest squeeze possible. That way they are distracted when your friend picks their wallet...did I say too much?

I will shake hands although I prefer at the side of the table. Sometimes that lean will pull my back. Would you like to know more about why it sucks to grow old???

Sadly such a thought never crossed my mind. Would have been nice to mail my opponent's empty wallet back rather than show up at the organizer's shop the next weekend offering to cover the broken terrain.
Live and learn and all that eh?

Been meaning to ask, DW: what did that guy... what was that guy... just what?

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
Two of us got the boot from a tournament recently over the handshake. My opponent had turned every handshake that I'd seen into an arm twist.

What the hell?

 kronk wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
Two of us got the boot from a tournament recently over the handshake. My opponent had turned every handshake that I'd seen into an arm twist.

What the hell?

Yea I can't quite picture that. You mean he would try to put his opponent into a full on arm lock? I see that going very badly very very quickly.

 Frazzled wrote:

 kronk wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
Two of us got the boot from a tournament recently over the handshake. My opponent had turned every handshake that I'd seen into an arm twist.

What the hell?

Yea I can't quite picture that. You mean he would try to put his opponent into a full on arm lock? I see that going very badly very very quickly.

You got it.