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 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Nemesis Dreadknight too.

Thank you Pouncey, that too.

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Nemesis Dreadknight too.

Thank you Pouncey, that too.

It's the original robot-suit monstrous creature.

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Nemesis Dreadknight too.

Thank you Pouncey, that too.

It's the original robot-suit monstrous creature.

That's not a robot suit, that's irresponsible parenting and an imminent call to social services.

Mraj__Undefined wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Nemesis Dreadknight too.

Thank you Pouncey, that too.

It's the original robot-suit monstrous creature.

That's not a robot suit, that's irresponsible parenting and an imminent call to social services.

At first I wanted to argue.

Then I saw what you were going for, and I laughed. : D

Mraj__Undefined wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Nemesis Dreadknight too.

Thank you Pouncey, that too.

It's the original robot-suit monstrous creature.

That's not a robot suit, that's irresponsible parenting and an imminent call to social services.

Have an exault. My ribs still hurt.

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Don't get them started. Please.

Here's a good one.

Let's say you're playing with those random objective cards that give you points for doing specific things.

Just, like... IMAGINE the orders your force's commander is receiving from HQ during the battle that would represent that.

HQ: "Pouncey, victory will be assured if you kill one of their psykers!"
Pouncey: "They... don't have those."
HQ: "Quickly! Take down one of their aircraft!"
Pouncey: "Yeah, we have no anti-aircraft weapons."
HQ: "Their force will be greatly weakened if you take this location immediately."
Pouncey: "Uhhh... okay... I mean, they're not anywhere near there, but whatever, I guess."
HQ: "I dunno, kill a bunch off them or whatever, I don't care who."
Pouncey: "We're... engaged in a battle. That's how this works."
HQ: "Take location B!:"
Pouncey: "Okay. I mean, it's guarded by some of their best troops and all I've got near there is a squad of novices, but we'll give it a go. And they're dead."
HQ: "Priority target: Location A."
Pouncey: "...We already hold that."
HQ: "VICTORY!"
Pouncey: "What? No, the battle's still going and you got most of my troops killed with randomly-changing objectives."

 Pouncey wrote:
Here's a good one.

Let's say you're playing with those random objective cards that give you points for doing specific things.

Just, like... IMAGINE the orders your force's commander is receiving from HQ during the battle that would represent that.

HQ: "Pouncey, victory will be assured if you kill one of their psykers!"
Pouncey: "They... don't have those."
HQ: "Quickly! Take down one of their aircraft!"
Pouncey: "Yeah, we have no anti-aircraft weapons."
HQ: "Their force will be greatly weakened if you take this location immediately."
Pouncey: "Uhhh... okay... I mean, they're not anywhere near there, but whatever, I guess."
HQ: "I dunno, kill a bunch off them or whatever, I don't care who."
Pouncey: "We're... engaged in a battle. That's how this works."
HQ: "Take location B!:"
Pouncey: "Okay. I mean, it's guarded by some of their best troops and all I've got near there is a squad of novices, but we'll give it a go. And they're dead."
HQ: "Priority target: Location A."
Pouncey: "...We already hold that."
HQ: "VICTORY!"
Pouncey: "What? No, the battle's still going and you got most of my troops killed with randomly-changing objectives."

Pvt. Chromedome: eh, Bursley, did you, um...
Pvt. Bursley: What? Did I what?
Pvt. Chromedome: Did you, eh, see where I put my LSD? I had a month's worth stashed away and everything...
Pvt. Bursley: You what!?!? I thought you knew our billet was inspected Tuesday?
Pvt. Chromedome: you don't think...

-above orders crackle through the vox caster-

Pvt. Chromedome: ...
Pvt. Bursley: ..............
Pvt. Chromedome: Fail that morale test now?
Pvt. Bursley: Already rolled !

Mraj__Undefined wrote:

 Pouncey wrote:
Here's a good one.

Let's say you're playing with those random objective cards that give you points for doing specific things.

Just, like... IMAGINE the orders your force's commander is receiving from HQ during the battle that would represent that.

HQ: "Pouncey, victory will be assured if you kill one of their psykers!"
Pouncey: "They... don't have those."
HQ: "Quickly! Take down one of their aircraft!"
Pouncey: "Yeah, we have no anti-aircraft weapons."
HQ: "Their force will be greatly weakened if you take this location immediately."
Pouncey: "Uhhh... okay... I mean, they're not anywhere near there, but whatever, I guess."
HQ: "I dunno, kill a bunch off them or whatever, I don't care who."
Pouncey: "We're... engaged in a battle. That's how this works."
HQ: "Take location B!:"
Pouncey: "Okay. I mean, it's guarded by some of their best troops and all I've got near there is a squad of novices, but we'll give it a go. And they're dead."
HQ: "Priority target: Location A."
Pouncey: "...We already hold that."
HQ: "VICTORY!"
Pouncey: "What? No, the battle's still going and you got most of my troops killed with randomly-changing objectives."

Pvt. Chromedome: eh, Bursley, did you, um...
Pvt. Bursley: What? Did I what?
Pvt. Chromedome: Did you, eh, see where I put my LSD? I had a month's worth stashed away and everything...
Pvt. Bursley: You what!?!? I thought you knew our billet was inspected Tuesday?
Pvt. Chromedome: you don't think...

-above orders crackle through the vox caster-

Pvt. Chromedome: ...
Pvt. Bursley: ..............
Pvt. Chromedome: Fail that morale test now?
Pvt. Bursley: Already rolled !

Good plan.

I don't have a good track record as a commander.

I once managed to lose a battle where I had a tank that the enemy was incapable of harming.

A cloud of dust rises over the horizon, the elder wraithknight pilot yneard and his dead sibling make a quick scan and find it to be caused by around 7 ork trukks racing wildly toward them. After another brief scan they locate the ork warboss riding ahead in a trukk with a nob escort.

Yneard readies his double cannons and aims each at two different trukks, one being the warboss', and fires. The shot slams into the front of the trukk, a direct hit, as the warp rift expands to swallow the trukk whole yneard is confident that he will have dealt a death blow to this rabble before they ever get near. But as the dust starts to clear again (as clear as possible with so many trukks moving at break neck speed) he is shocked to see the trukk almost fine and still moving in this direction, yneard did damage to it but, so much so its entire engine is missing, yet it still moves towards him. He is so shocked that by the time he readies his cannons again the orks are already upon him and his magnificent wraithknight structure is being hacked at by a sea of orks an one, very angry warboss.

(Basically the ramshackle rule is funny when it works against D weapons. And I always liken it to the shot tearing the engine off but it turns out the orks were just flint stone-ing the trukk the entire time.)

The Stormsurge fighting in melee conjures up funny images. The machine has no arms; how does it hit anything in melee?

Also, the idea of how many players are using Celestine these days. Imagine these big manly power-armored guys hiding behind three women while bullets come in.

 ZergSmasher wrote:
The Stormsurge fighting in melee conjures up funny images. The machine has no arms; how does it hit anything in melee?

Also, the idea of how many players are using Celestine these days. Imagine these big manly power-armored guys hiding behind three women while bullets come in.

On that subject a sniper fires at Celestine's unit with only her visible (due to a wall) and kills her Gemini bodyguard at the far end of the unit.....

Personnaly I like the Radioactive rule for the Vanguards' Radium Carbines that do double wounds on 6's. Last time I was playing against Eldars and suddenly there's this huge Wraithlord coming out through a ruin, spitting ghosts from its flamethrowers, killing the bearer of the Plasma Caliver and another Skitarius in the process. The wraith construct makes ready to charge the foolish Skitarii and stomp them to dust.

"The xeno is charging us, what do we do Alpha ?"
"OPEN FIRE !"

As the overwatch volley mostly misses the Wraithlord, two bullets find their way through its defences. Yet it's still walking towards them, laughing, before he starts coughing up and dies.

The Wraithlord died of an instant cancer.

The fact that Imperial forge worlds make plasma weaponry that regularly blows up in it's own users' faces is pretty amusing to me. I guess the Departmento Munitorum has pretty lax QC standards.

 ZergSmasher wrote:
The Stormsurge fighting in melee conjures up funny images. The machine has no arms; how does it hit anything in melee?

Also, the idea of how many players are using Celestine these days. Imagine these big manly power-armored guys hiding behind three women while bullets come in.

Eastern European dancing. That cockpit is really well stabilized.

Martel732 wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:
The very idea that the Riptide or Wraithknight could be mistaken as CREATURES.

Don't get them started. Please.

Killjoy.

I'm tired of having the WK lore recited over and over.

CommissarClay wrote:

(Basically the ramshackle rule is funny when it works against D weapons. And I always liken it to the shot tearing the engine off but it turns out the orks were just flint stone-ing the trukk the entire time.)

Haha! Genuinely made me uncontrollably snigger at work. Can't get the idea of an engine exploding and revealing a squad of Boyz with their feet furiously pedalling away...

A Land Raider can crash through a concrete wall with no adverse effects but throws a tread on a bush

A Land Raider can tank an infinite number of autocannons shooting it, but driving through a wooden fence? Now you are asking too much!

According to the rules of the game, a Land Raider can tank an amount of heavy stubber bullets that would deorbit the moon.
(2 million M2 Browning machine guns constantly firing for 90,000,000 years or so)

That one, at least, does make sense to me, the Land Raider will not be in one piece after 2 million M2 fire at it for X amount of years. It will be in one piece when at best ten or some of them fire for at best a minute at it, however.

After the update that took away the Heldrake's 360 degree arc of fire I can only imagine a bunch of aging arthritic Helturkeys no longer being able to fully swivel their necks properly. I wonder if there are daemonic chiropractors...

-A plasma bolt is headed straight for a sergeant's chest. "Look out, sir!" a grunt yells, running up from behind. He is still definitely behind the sergeant, yet the shot disappears and the soldier bursts into a charred, gory mess.

-A few lowly guardsmen are flailing their buttstocks wildly at a vicious Necron Overlord. He scythes a several down with brutal efficiency. The guardsmen continue to whack at him with the butts of their lasguns. Suddenly, a wave of drowsiness overtakes the Necron. He leans heavily on his scythe, no longer paying attention to the maddened humans surrounding him. The guardsmen continue to batter away at him. The Overlord checks his wristwatch-- and no wonder, just look at the time! Meanwhile, one guardsman hammers at the side of the head with his lasgun. The Overlord yawns and sits down, preparing for a nice 500 year catnap, all the while the mortified guardsmen continue to flail wildly at him. Each member of that guard unit was awarded a Star of Terra for putting down the most dreaded foe in the sector. (Because A Necron wouldn't possibly have been killed by a few guardsmen swinging their guns like clubs, he obviously just got tired and elected to sit down for a while.)

-A massive Daemon Prince drops its weapons and begins to punch itself in the face. A Necron Lord keeps saying "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" until the DP knocks itself out cold.

 Verviedi wrote:
According to the rules of the game, a Land Raider can tank an amount of heavy stubber bullets that would deorbit the moon.
(2 million M2 Browning machine guns constantly firing for 90,000,000 years or so)

They would soon create a small hill of bullets for the landraider to immobilize itself upon. So it's all fair and square.

 Verviedi wrote:
According to the rules of the game, a Land Raider can tank an amount of heavy stubber bullets that would deorbit the moon.
(2 million M2 Browning machine guns constantly firing for 90,000,000 years or so)

To be fair, we have tech that will de-orbit the Moon in a matter of minutes in the right circumstances.

https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/

Basically, we'd need 5 billion or so of the world's most powerful pulse laser, enough energy to run them all continuously instead of in brief pulses, then we give 1 to each human who will be able to use it, aim them at the Moon together, and all push the buttons together.

This does two very interesting things VERY quickly.

1. 5 billion humans die instantly, as does most life on half of the planet.
2. The moon is now being pushed out of orbit.

In short order, a few more interesting things happen.

3. The rest of the life on Earth dies.
4. The Moon feths off and wanders around outside of Earth's orbit.

And very shortly after that.

5. Earth is uninhabitable and has no moon using technology we possess today (if we made about 5 billion of them and powered them all to full capacity, both of which are things we can't do today).

Not really relevant, but I heard "deorbit the moon" and I was reminded of this.

If you wanna tie it into 40k, basically what it means is that we have laser tech powerful enough that the Imperium could make an Exterminatus weapon out of a pulse laser created in the real world, today.

Anyways, carry on!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh, and about that example.

I'd say that a better example is that according to the rules of the game, a Land Raider can tank an amount of heavy stubber bullets that would wear away at a Land Raider atom by atom until there is nothing left of the Land Raider.

Because the correct number for "number of heavy stubber bullets a Land Raider can tank" is "infinity," therefore I'm pretty sure you could also say it could tank enough heavy stubber bullets to destroy the entire universe.

All right, let's do this.

A chaos cultist champion using a comm relay to reroll reserve rolls......for daemons.

I mean, who's he calling?

"Thank you for ringing Skull Throne Direct. If you want to speak to a daemon prince in customer support, press 1...."

Space Marines being unable to run out of a rhino to charge someone, but having enough time to train their bolters at a target to fire upon said target.

*Marines stampede out of rhino*

*swords held high and proud above their heads*

*Freeze up all of the sudden*

*Dozens of "Error: you cannot perform that action" signs pop up*

 Abanshee wrote:
Space Marines being unable to run out of a rhino to charge someone, but having enough time to train their bolters at a target to fire upon said target.

*Marines stampede out of rhino*

*swords held high and proud above their heads*

*Freeze up all of the sudden*

*Dozens of "Error: you cannot perform that action" signs pop up*

Same story with a Drop Pod.