Author |
Message |
 |
|
 |
Advert
|
Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
- No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
- Times and dates in your local timezone.
- Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
- Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
- Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now. |
|
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 06:58:07
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Battlewagon Driver with Charged Engine
|
A rolling, thunderous battlewagon propelled by the tremendous faith of it's twenty boyz inside drives over a sprig of parsley. It's immediately immobilized.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 08:58:15
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Hissing Hybrid Metamorph
|
Ashiraya wrote:Gretchin successfully parry attacks made by the Avatar of Khaine 33% of the time.
I know this thread is a bit of fun, bit my imagination is too good for this stuff.
The quoted example for me would be the Avatar of Khaine just keeps striding past, ignoring the pathetic Gretchen, swatting then away when they get irritating, sometimes "accidentally" killing them!
A Guardsman hit in the face with a bolt gun? No, his "armour save" was his helmet resting on the post next to him got hit by a shot while he was cowering hoping the marine thought he dead and moving on.
Everything is justifyable, even if a "hit" actually hit the building next to it, showing some rubble etc.
|
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 09:21:05
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Longtime Dakkanaut
|
Captain Lazarus, hero of his Chapter, strides to battle in his ornate Terminator Armour, bedecked with the glorious commendations of countless battles, his heroic deeds carved into the sacred ceramite. In his left hand he carries a crackling Storm Shield. Behind him a squad of Tactical Marines take heart from the paragon of the Imperium who bravely leads from the fore.
Bolt rounds, autocannon shots and krak missiles impact harmlessly against his might armour that shakes the very ground as he walks. Sizzling plasma detonates against his shield and still he marches on, bellowing challenges at his foes...
...until he fails 2 saves, at which point he starts cravenly tossing Tactical Marines in front of every single lasgun, autopistol and bow and arrow shot that might find a weak point in his defences.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 09:34:30
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Ancient Space Wolves Venerable Dreadnought
|
Lazarus is no craven, he knows no fear.
He was just late to the realisation the Imperium revolves around meatshields.
|
I don't break the rules but I'll bend them as far as they'll go. |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 09:56:28
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Regular Dakkanaut
|
Forgefiend takes direct hit from a Vortex missile.
Walks out completely unharmed....
Flying monster makes a controlled descent from the sky but cannot charge.
Another Flying monster gets SHOT DOWN and crashes into the floor at crazy speed, then promptly charges the nearest unit...
Mega armoured Warboss caries an entire squad of Lootas with enough stability not to screw up their aim
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 10:01:55
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Ultramarine Librarian with Freaky Familiar
|
JimOnMars wrote:A rolling, thunderous battlewagon propelled by the tremendous faith of it's twenty boyz inside drives over a sprig of parsley. It's immediately immobilized.
The almighty Land Raider, the Godhammer of the Adeptus Astartes, the chariot of the Emperors Angels of Death, the invincible bulk that crushes mason underneath it's mighty treads... drove over a stiff bush and threw a track.
Some models should just be able to ignore dangerous terrain, yo.
|
Thought for the day: Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.
30k Ultramarines: 2000 pts
Bolt Action Germans: ~1200 pts
AOS Stormcast: Just starting.
The Empire : ~60-70 models.
1500 pts
: My Salamanders painting blog 16 Infantry and 2 Vehicles done so far! |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 10:13:25
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Grumpy Longbeard
|
Daemon Prince destroyer of a thousand worlds, while he was mortal, faces down a big battle machine. He roars, this is what he was made for, he is a master of combat, honing his skills in the warp against countless daemons. This will please my god!
Knight titan/wraith knight/stormsurge lifts a leg really high...
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 10:20:26
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
!!Goffik Rocker!!
|
A greentide performing a massive multi-charge all around the map. One ork lightly touches a rock with his foot. The whole greentide is slowed down.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 10:21:32
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Slippery Scout Biker
|
the idea of armour saves always amused me.
...Brother captain *insert generic name here* spots the enemy in the distance and they aim their heavy weapons at him. His body is raked with heavy bolter fire, many pierce his armour, he is bleeding heavily, he can feel the cold embrace of death.... and suddenly.... *pop* the wounds heal...he passed his armour save.
|
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2017/02/07 10:24:59
40k:
Salamanders - 3500 points
Inquisition - 500
30k:
Salamanders - 4000
Imperial Militia - 1500
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 10:23:51
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Regular Dakkanaut
|
Gargantuan creature stomps on a Space Marine,
Space Marine is fine.
Gargantuan creature stomps on a land Raider and causes a massive hole in it's hull......
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 10:35:42
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Slaanesh Chosen Marine Riding a Fiend
|
A squad of Berzerkers roar praise to their bloody good before falling on a regiment of PDF forces no more than ten feet away (snake eyes rolled for the charge).
Khorne facepalms as the squad all fall to the floor as if in a slapstick comedy e.g. slip on banana skin, tied shoelaces, etc.
|
Please note, for those of you who play Chaos Daemons as a faction the term "Daemon" is potentially offensive. Instead, please play codex "Chaos: Mortally Challenged". Thank you. |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 12:02:23
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Been Around the Block
|
Vulkan Fran'cis wrote:the idea of armour saves always amused me.
...Brother captain *insert generic name here* spots the enemy in the distance and they aim their heavy weapons at him. His body is raked with heavy bolter fire, many pierce his armour, he is bleeding heavily, he can feel the cold embrace of death.... and suddenly.... *pop* the wounds heal...he passed his armour save.
Even though failed "to wound" rolls represented hits that wouldn't have caused much damage to begin with?
In fairness though, it made more sense in WHFB - being grazed by an arrow or sword probably happened a lot in history than with a grenade launcher.
Jbz` wrote:Gargantuan creature stomps on a Space Marine,
Space Marine is fine.
Gargantuan creature stomps on a land Raider and causes a massive hole in it's hull......
Ever tried crushing ants with your foot? Its possible to (apparently) step on them (and think you have) without touching them.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 12:10:14
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Towering Hierophant Bio-Titan
|
Carnifex has me laughing every time.
Through every book and fluff article it pegs it as a rampaging engine of destruction.
Yet charges a unit then stops to have a lunch break because they strike first.
Why is something that strong charging into a unit (like a horribly mutated rhino) and getting hit first? Lol.
It's like getting hit by a truck but managing to kick it out of the way.
|
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 12:12:13
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Regular Dakkanaut
|
Tyranno wrote:
Jbz` wrote:Gargantuan creature stomps on a Space Marine,
Space Marine is fine.
Gargantuan creature stomps on a land Raider and causes a massive hole in it's hull......
Ever tried crushing ants with your foot? Its possible to (apparently) step on them (and think you have) without touching them.
Gargantuan creature stomping a marine is more along the lines of us doing it on a cat than an ant.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 12:18:08
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
|
A Tau Drone in the Drone-net using Jink and Going to Ground because it's still infantry.
Also, a Tau drone not wanting to take a dangerous terrain test for using its jet pack going into a building, and so electing to walk.
|
"Got you, Yugi! Your Rubric Marines can't fall back because I have declared the tertiary kaptaris ka'tah stance two, after the secondary dacatarai ka'tah last turn!"
"So you think, Kaiba! I declared my Thousand Sons the cult of Duplicity, which means all my psykers have access to the Sorcerous Facade power! Furthermore I will spend 8 Cabal Points to invoke Cabbalistic Focus, causing the rubrics to appear behind your custodes! The Vengeance for the Wronged and Sorcerous Fullisade stratagems along with the Malefic Maelstrom infernal pact evoked earlier in the command phase allows me to double their firepower, letting me wound on 2s and 3s!"
"you think it is you who has gotten me, yugi, but it is I who have gotten you! I declare the ever-vigilant stratagem to attack your rubrics with my custodes' ranged weapons, which with the new codex are now DAMAGE 2!!"
"...which leads you straight into my trap, Kaiba, you see I now declare the stratagem Implacable Automata, reducing all damage from your attacks by 1 and triggering my All is Dust special rule!" |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 12:57:02
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Decrepit Dakkanaut
|
Drones doing anything. How do Drones run? Can't explain that.
|
Peregrine - If you like the army buy it, and don't worry about what one random person on the internet thinks.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 13:44:16
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Stealthy Kroot Stalker
|
Dakka Wolf wrote: Battlegrinder wrote:The inability to shoot into melee sometimes makes sense, sometimes not. For example:
The marine tactical sqaud had been ambushed by an understrength brood of termagaunts. Engaging in bitter, hand to claw combat, the marines slowly overwhelming the battered aliens, and one by one the termaguants fell. As the last pair of 'gaunts made thier final stand, the towering form of a carniflex appeared behind the marines, ready to unleash a torrent of bio-plasma that would leave nothing but scorched bones and melted ceramite behind......which it elected to refrain from doing, least it's attack also kill one, or worse both, of the termagaunts. The hive mind dared not take such a ruthless action, least the hive mind decide that the hive mind was too callous with it's troops and revolt against the hive mind.
That has popped into my head on so many occassions. I think it actually fits really well with some armies but not so much with others.
Guard would do it "That's it boys! Hold them down while I aim this Demolisher Canon at them. No! Don't let them up, keep them in the sights. Of course you're going to die with them - the fact you only just figured that out means your family really are better off without you."
I'd like to see risk and reward shooting into melee similar to when a blast scatters over melee. Every shot that misses its target hits your own stuff.
Big question though, what happens when Warp Spiders get fired on in melee?
Chaos Renegades with some character is allowed to fire into combat and even target its own models when firing barrage/blast/Large blast weapons
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 14:05:11
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Shas'la with Pulse Carbine
|
Tau shieldwall and firewarriors going to ground to hide from basilisk shots from 20' away. roll 6's on cover, basilisks are wrecked without having seen or been in the same territory as the enemy.
"FIRE!" (a few moments later) KABOOM!
"What just happened?!"
"Those dirty Tau hid exceptionally well"
Commisar shoots troop in his face, then shoots his own self, not wanting to live in this world anymore.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 15:50:21
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Worthiest of Warlock Engineers
|
A loneMarine with a Meltagun levels it at the massive building block sized Stormsword just yards infront of him..... And misses. At point blank range.
The Vindicator depresses its gun to fire on the Stormsword ahead of it and fires. The shot does some kind of boomerang flip mid-air and lands smack bang in the ground about a foot behind the Vindicator, penetrates it and kills it.
Me and my opponent - "wut"?
My Thunderer levels off a shot that flies back down the barrel, detonating in the breach and scaring a few nearby Guardsmen to death.
Macro cannon hits a Typhon, wrecking it and causing it to go nuclear, but the Librarian standing next to it doesnt notice anything more than a slight breeze.
|
Free from GW's tyranny and the hobby is looking better for it
DR:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Pww205++D++A+++/sWD146R++T(T)D+
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 17:18:11
Subject: Re:Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Death-Dealing Ultramarine Devastator
|
The one that always makes me laugh as ive puled it off a few times...
scouts out in the open taking fire from imperial guard artillery... throws camo cloak over head... survives!
|
1st, 2nd & 10th Co. 13000 pts
Order of the Ashen Rose - 650 pts
The Undying - 1800 pts |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 17:53:24
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Ancient Chaos Terminator
Surfing the Tervigon Wave...on a baby.
|
Actual quote from the first Portent tournament a few years back.
My original Death Guard, fighting Orks. Dread ended up immobilised. This was 3.5 btw.
'I roll to penetrate the rear armour of the dreadnought with my Purple-helmeted Nob with his huge choppa.'
Fit of giggles here. The Ork player had done squad markings by different helmets or shoulder plates - one Mob was unfortunately purple. (My own Death Guard had runes on their bases.)
"It penetrates...and the dreadnought explodes."
Deadpan silence.
Hearing that your mind went bad places...
And did not picture a giant, purple armoured ork swinging a rather large axe into the back of a daemonically possessed walker, did it?
|
Now only a CSM player. |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 17:58:59
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Powerful Phoenix Lord
|
Vulkan Fran'cis wrote:the idea of armour saves always amused me.
...Brother captain *insert generic name here* spots the enemy in the distance and they aim their heavy weapons at him. His body is raked with heavy bolter fire, many pierce his armour, he is bleeding heavily, he can feel the cold embrace of death.... and suddenly.... *pop* the wounds heal...he passed his armour save.
So, really, just flip "to wound" rolls with armour saves in the order. Roll to hit...see if the armour saves it...then roll to wound. (if you want to stick with this method at all).
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 18:04:04
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Glorious Lord of Chaos
The burning pits of Hades, also known as Sweden in summer
|
Rippy wrote:
The quoted example for me would be the Avatar of Khaine just keeps striding past, ignoring the pathetic Gretchen, swatting then away when they get irritating, sometimes "accidentally" killing them!l
They are still tarpitting it though!
Speaking of gretchin and avatars, I have seen an Avatar lose all 4 wounds to gretchin overwatch.
|
I should think of a new signature... In the meantime, have a |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/07 18:39:40
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Hissing Hybrid Metamorph
|
Ashiraya wrote: Rippy wrote:
The quoted example for me would be the Avatar of Khaine just keeps striding past, ignoring the pathetic Gretchen, swatting then away when they get irritating, sometimes "accidentally" killing them!l
They are still tarpitting it though!
Speaking of gretchin and avatars, I have seen an Avatar lose all 4 wounds to gretchin overwatch.
I still see it as the avatar calmly striding.
Who knows what super weapon with a big red button those pesky Gretchen got their hands on?
|
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/08 00:20:06
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Waaagh! Warbiker
|
Imperial guardsman gets into armwrestling match with an ork boy - it ends in a tie.
|
Astra Milit..*blam* Astra Milliwhat, heretic? |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/08 00:23:20
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Keeper of the Holy Orb of Antioch
avoiding the lorax on Crion
|
Missing hits on aomw of the large super heavies while stood still...
Are you orks or space marines.
|
Sgt. Vanden - OOC Hey, that was your doing. I didn't choose to fly in the "Dongerprise'.
"May the odds be ever in your favour"
Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
I have no clue how Dakka's moderation work. I expect it involves throwing a lot of d100 and looking at many random tables.
FudgeDumper - It could be that you are just so uncomfortable with the idea of your chapters primarch having his way with a docile tyranid spore cyst, that you must deny they have any feelings at all. |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/08 02:22:14
Subject: Re:Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Loyal Necron Lychguard
|
Facing an army of 4 Knights, after 4 turns of shooting they're almost dead
Piloting an Obelisk near knights, they shoot it and it explodes and scatters into the nearest knight.
Removing it's final wound, it explodes and scatters into the next knight over.
Copy paste until all four knights have died and exploded.
Lost because the last knight scattered into my warlord and gave him the last point he needed
|
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2017/02/09 04:05:57
<Dynasty> ~10500pts
War Coven of the Coruscating Gaze ~3000pts
Thrice-Damned Plague Corps ~3250pts
Admech (TBN) ~3500pts +30k Bots and Ulator
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/08 02:34:46
Subject: Re:Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Abel
|
10' tall, genetically created/modified, indoctrinated super soldiers wearing Fusion Reactors and Power Armor swinging Chainswords and riding motorcycles into close combat. Always absurd to me.
|
Kara Sloan shoots through Time and Design Space for a Negative Play Experience |
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/08 11:56:18
Subject: Re:Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
Longtime Dakkanaut
|
Tamwulf wrote:10' tall, genetically created/modified, indoctrinated super soldiers wearing Fusion Reactors and Power Armor swinging Chainswords and riding motorcycles into close combat. Always absurd to me.
Only to the uninitiated.
|
|
 |
 |
![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2017/02/08 12:30:51
Subject: Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)
|
 |
!!Goffik Rocker!!
|
Bikes moving over walls at full speed.
|
|
 |
 |
|