Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

A rolling, thunderous battlewagon propelled by the tremendous faith of it's twenty boyz inside drives over a sprig of parsley. It's immediately immobilized.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Gretchin successfully parry attacks made by the Avatar of Khaine 33% of the time.

I know this thread is a bit of fun, bit my imagination is too good for this stuff.
The quoted example for me would be the Avatar of Khaine just keeps striding past, ignoring the pathetic Gretchen, swatting then away when they get irritating, sometimes "accidentally" killing them!

A Guardsman hit in the face with a bolt gun? No, his "armour save" was his helmet resting on the post next to him got hit by a shot while he was cowering hoping the marine thought he dead and moving on.

Everything is justifyable, even if a "hit" actually hit the building next to it, showing some rubble etc.

Captain Lazarus, hero of his Chapter, strides to battle in his ornate Terminator Armour, bedecked with the glorious commendations of countless battles, his heroic deeds carved into the sacred ceramite. In his left hand he carries a crackling Storm Shield. Behind him a squad of Tactical Marines take heart from the paragon of the Imperium who bravely leads from the fore.

Bolt rounds, autocannon shots and krak missiles impact harmlessly against his might armour that shakes the very ground as he walks. Sizzling plasma detonates against his shield and still he marches on, bellowing challenges at his foes...

...until he fails 2 saves, at which point he starts cravenly tossing Tactical Marines in front of every single lasgun, autopistol and bow and arrow shot that might find a weak point in his defences.

Lazarus is no craven, he knows no fear.
He was just late to the realisation the Imperium revolves around meatshields.

Forgefiend takes direct hit from a Vortex missile.
Walks out completely unharmed....

Flying monster makes a controlled descent from the sky but cannot charge.
Another Flying monster gets SHOT DOWN and crashes into the floor at crazy speed, then promptly charges the nearest unit...

Mega armoured Warboss caries an entire squad of Lootas with enough stability not to screw up their aim

 JimOnMars wrote:
A rolling, thunderous battlewagon propelled by the tremendous faith of it's twenty boyz inside drives over a sprig of parsley. It's immediately immobilized.

The almighty Land Raider, the Godhammer of the Adeptus Astartes, the chariot of the Emperors Angels of Death, the invincible bulk that crushes mason underneath it's mighty treads... drove over a stiff bush and threw a track.

Some models should just be able to ignore dangerous terrain, yo.

Daemon Prince destroyer of a thousand worlds, while he was mortal, faces down a big battle machine. He roars, this is what he was made for, he is a master of combat, honing his skills in the warp against countless daemons. This will please my god!

Knight titan/wraith knight/stormsurge lifts a leg really high...

A greentide performing a massive multi-charge all around the map. One ork lightly touches a rock with his foot. The whole greentide is slowed down.

the idea of armour saves always amused me.

...Brother captain *insert generic name here* spots the enemy in the distance and they aim their heavy weapons at him. His body is raked with heavy bolter fire, many pierce his armour, he is bleeding heavily, he can feel the cold embrace of death.... and suddenly.... *pop* the wounds heal...he passed his armour save.

Gargantuan creature stomps on a Space Marine,
Space Marine is fine.
Gargantuan creature stomps on a land Raider and causes a massive hole in it's hull......

A squad of Berzerkers roar praise to their bloody good before falling on a regiment of PDF forces no more than ten feet away (snake eyes rolled for the charge).

Khorne facepalms as the squad all fall to the floor as if in a slapstick comedy e.g. slip on banana skin, tied shoelaces, etc.

 Vulkan Fran'cis wrote:
the idea of armour saves always amused me.

...Brother captain *insert generic name here* spots the enemy in the distance and they aim their heavy weapons at him. His body is raked with heavy bolter fire, many pierce his armour, he is bleeding heavily, he can feel the cold embrace of death.... and suddenly.... *pop* the wounds heal...he passed his armour save.

Even though failed "to wound" rolls represented hits that wouldn't have caused much damage to begin with?

In fairness though, it made more sense in WHFB - being grazed by an arrow or sword probably happened a lot in history than with a grenade launcher.

Jbz` wrote:
Gargantuan creature stomps on a Space Marine,
Space Marine is fine.
Gargantuan creature stomps on a land Raider and causes a massive hole in it's hull......

Ever tried crushing ants with your foot? Its possible to (apparently) step on them (and think you have) without touching them.

Carnifex has me laughing every time.
Through every book and fluff article it pegs it as a rampaging engine of destruction.
Yet charges a unit then stops to have a lunch break because they strike first.

Why is something that strong charging into a unit (like a horribly mutated rhino) and getting hit first? Lol.
It's like getting hit by a truck but managing to kick it out of the way.

Tyranno wrote:

Jbz` wrote:
Gargantuan creature stomps on a Space Marine,
Space Marine is fine.
Gargantuan creature stomps on a land Raider and causes a massive hole in it's hull......

Ever tried crushing ants with your foot? Its possible to (apparently) step on them (and think you have) without touching them.

Gargantuan creature stomping a marine is more along the lines of us doing it on a cat than an ant.

A Tau Drone in the Drone-net using Jink and Going to Ground because it's still infantry.


Also, a Tau drone not wanting to take a dangerous terrain test for using its jet pack going into a building, and so electing to walk.

Drones doing anything. How do Drones run? Can't explain that.

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 Battlegrinder wrote:
The inability to shoot into melee sometimes makes sense, sometimes not. For example:

The marine tactical sqaud had been ambushed by an understrength brood of termagaunts. Engaging in bitter, hand to claw combat, the marines slowly overwhelming the battered aliens, and one by one the termaguants fell. As the last pair of 'gaunts made thier final stand, the towering form of a carniflex appeared behind the marines, ready to unleash a torrent of bio-plasma that would leave nothing but scorched bones and melted ceramite behind......which it elected to refrain from doing, least it's attack also kill one, or worse both, of the termagaunts. The hive mind dared not take such a ruthless action, least the hive mind decide that the hive mind was too callous with it's troops and revolt against the hive mind.

That has popped into my head on so many occassions. I think it actually fits really well with some armies but not so much with others.
Guard would do it "That's it boys! Hold them down while I aim this Demolisher Canon at them. No! Don't let them up, keep them in the sights. Of course you're going to die with them - the fact you only just figured that out means your family really are better off without you."

I'd like to see risk and reward shooting into melee similar to when a blast scatters over melee. Every shot that misses its target hits your own stuff.
Big question though, what happens when Warp Spiders get fired on in melee?

Chaos Renegades with some character is allowed to fire into combat and even target its own models when firing barrage/blast/Large blast weapons

Tau shieldwall and firewarriors going to ground to hide from basilisk shots from 20' away. roll 6's on cover, basilisks are wrecked without having seen or been in the same territory as the enemy.

"FIRE!" (a few moments later) KABOOM!
"What just happened?!"
"Those dirty Tau hid exceptionally well"
Commisar shoots troop in his face, then shoots his own self, not wanting to live in this world anymore.

A loneMarine with a Meltagun levels it at the massive building block sized Stormsword just yards infront of him..... And misses. At point blank range.

The Vindicator depresses its gun to fire on the Stormsword ahead of it and fires. The shot does some kind of boomerang flip mid-air and lands smack bang in the ground about a foot behind the Vindicator, penetrates it and kills it.
Me and my opponent - "wut"?

My Thunderer levels off a shot that flies back down the barrel, detonating in the breach and scaring a few nearby Guardsmen to death.

Macro cannon hits a Typhon, wrecking it and causing it to go nuclear, but the Librarian standing next to it doesnt notice anything more than a slight breeze.

The one that always makes me laugh as ive puled it off a few times...

scouts out in the open taking fire from imperial guard artillery... throws camo cloak over head... survives!

Actual quote from the first Portent tournament a few years back.

My original Death Guard, fighting Orks. Dread ended up immobilised. This was 3.5 btw.

'I roll to penetrate the rear armour of the dreadnought with my Purple-helmeted Nob with his huge choppa.'

Fit of giggles here. The Ork player had done squad markings by different helmets or shoulder plates - one Mob was unfortunately purple. (My own Death Guard had runes on their bases.)

"It penetrates...and the dreadnought explodes."

Deadpan silence.

Hearing that your mind went bad places...

And did not picture a giant, purple armoured ork swinging a rather large axe into the back of a daemonically possessed walker, did it?

 Vulkan Fran'cis wrote:
the idea of armour saves always amused me.

...Brother captain *insert generic name here* spots the enemy in the distance and they aim their heavy weapons at him. His body is raked with heavy bolter fire, many pierce his armour, he is bleeding heavily, he can feel the cold embrace of death.... and suddenly.... *pop* the wounds heal...he passed his armour save.

So, really, just flip "to wound" rolls with armour saves in the order. Roll to hit...see if the armour saves it...then roll to wound. (if you want to stick with this method at all).

 Rippy wrote:

The quoted example for me would be the Avatar of Khaine just keeps striding past, ignoring the pathetic Gretchen, swatting then away when they get irritating, sometimes "accidentally" killing them!l

They are still tarpitting it though!

Speaking of gretchin and avatars, I have seen an Avatar lose all 4 wounds to gretchin overwatch.

 Ashiraya wrote:

 Rippy wrote:

The quoted example for me would be the Avatar of Khaine just keeps striding past, ignoring the pathetic Gretchen, swatting then away when they get irritating, sometimes "accidentally" killing them!l

They are still tarpitting it though!

Speaking of gretchin and avatars, I have seen an Avatar lose all 4 wounds to gretchin overwatch.

I still see it as the avatar calmly striding.
Who knows what super weapon with a big red button those pesky Gretchen got their hands on?

Imperial guardsman gets into armwrestling match with an ork boy - it ends in a tie.

Missing hits on aomw of the large super heavies while stood still...

Are you orks or space marines.

Facing an army of 4 Knights, after 4 turns of shooting they're almost dead

Piloting an Obelisk near knights, they shoot it and it explodes and scatters into the nearest knight.

Removing it's final wound, it explodes and scatters into the next knight over.

Copy paste until all four knights have died and exploded.

Lost because the last knight scattered into my warlord and gave him the last point he needed

10' tall, genetically created/modified, indoctrinated super soldiers wearing Fusion Reactors and Power Armor swinging Chainswords and riding motorcycles into close combat. Always absurd to me.

 Tamwulf wrote:
10' tall, genetically created/modified, indoctrinated super soldiers wearing Fusion Reactors and Power Armor swinging Chainswords and riding motorcycles into close combat. Always absurd to me.

Only to the uninitiated.

Bikes moving over walls at full speed.