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Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he'll play a good ageless, smug dandy with great potential for evil.

"Play?" Yes.

"Play."

Sing 2 (Electric Boogaloo)

At the request of Kyoto Secunda Prime we watched the movie where the animals sing pop songs. It was... OK. At no time did my ears bleed nor do I think it gave it me cancer.

The 'plot' is some animals (presumably from Sing 1, who by the way, sing and wear clothes and stuff, I assume the hows and whys of that were answered in Sing 1, maybe they're the result of genetic experiments? I'm not up on my Greater Sing Cinematic Universe lore) want to put on a show and have to recruit Bono. In the meantime will the gorilla learn to dance? Will the elephant overcome her shyness? Will the pig overcome her fear of heights? Will the protagonists overcome obstacles in pursuit of their goal?

Lots and lots of songs, leaning heavily on 2000+ pop songs that I neither know nor care about.

It was an 'early bird' rental for $24 dollery doos, which is a lot, but if it gives the wonder twins some cred in the school yard it's money well spent.

Dakka….I am excite!!!

Q, the Winged Serpent is now on Amazon Prime.

I’ve not seen this in decades, having caught it randomly on BBC2 ages ago.

I’ve only just put it on, but such is my excite I had to share!

 Sigur wrote:
Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he'll play a good ageless, smug dandy with great potential for evil.

I mostly think of Tom Cruise as the weird feral kid who won't wear pants and can't stop squatting in his scenes in Legend.

 Sigur wrote:
Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he'll play a good ageless, smug dandy with great potential for evil.

still think the chap in the much worse Queen of the Damned movie was a better Lestat

And whilst wee Mr C's hit rate is impressive (to my mind only 2 misses in the last 15 or so years, Mummy and War of Worlds) he's transcended acting to become a brand wherein its a Tom Cruise film rather than a movie with him in, also his collecting purty lasses for display purposes only is getting tiresome...

Jupiters Legacy

Way too slow and about 5 years too late, Chloe was distracting mind

Dead Heat

80’s buddy cop zombie comedy thriller.

Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t much care for it, but Rotten Tomatoes is wrong, i tells ya!

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

This is a Wes Anderson version of a road trip comedy, but with a boat. Bill Murray plays the titular Steve Zissou, an oceanographer who is in the midst of several life changing events starting with the death of his best friend at the jaws of a mysterious shark described as a jaguar shark. The movie follows Steve try to avenge his friend while dealing with meeting a man who is supposedbly his son, a wife who he describes as on the rocks, and being a joke in his profession.

For starters, it is a Wes Anderson film so if you have strong opinions on his work, good or bad, this movie will probaly reinforce them. As for the actors, I think this is one of Bill Murrays best performances as he really seems to enjoy being Steve Zissou. He has a wonderful cast to work with Willem Daofe doing a great job in the role of his sidekick Klaus, Cate Blanchette as reporter doing a story on Steve, and Owen Wilson who may or may not be Steves son. Jeff Goldblum also appears as a rival of Steves and is confident and smug in all of his scenes.

This movie brings a lot to the table. While decidely a comedy it also has a heart beating underneath the surface and has a few moments of surprisng emotion. Another thing amazing thing in the movie is the music. There is a strong Bowie presence throughout the movie with many of his songs played as a backdrop or even performed by one of the cast members (Seu Jorge).

This movie has a fun and quirky soundtrack, creative visuals, interesting characters, and clever humor. I know its not a movie for everyone but for me it sits at the top of my list. Watch it and maybe you too can be on Team Zissou.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Dakka….I am excite!!!

Q, the Winged Serpent is now on Amazon Prime.

I’ve not seen this in decades, having caught it randomly on BBC2 ages ago.

I’ve only just put it on, but such is my excite I had to share!

Michael Moriarty is wonderful in this.

Marked Man

90’s crime thriller, starring Roddy Piper. Bit low budget. Kinda low effort. Feels like an above average TV Movie.

It’s…alright. Not high art. Low budget, but not low effort.

Legionnaire (1998)

Jean Claude van Damme is on the run and joins the Foreign Legion in the 1920s (after some plot circling around the whole film, but it's not that interesting). Is shipped to Marocco to fight the Berber rebellion. You've probably seen it at some point; it's not half bad. Somewhat good cast of characters, a bit of interpersonal drama, cameraderie, evil platoon commander, interesting setting, satisfyingly well produced, all of that. I was pleased. It goes a bit different ways than you'd think it would at several poins, which I enjoyed.

The next day I looked the film up. It actually is a remake of March or Die, which is a film from the 70s and has a pretty mind-boggling cast: Terence Hill, Gene Hackman, Catherine Deneuve, Max von Sydow. Imagine that!

Anyway, Legionnaire. Watch It, if this sounds in any way interesting to you. It's one of van Damme's late 90s films, which in part are underrated I feel, because the crazy druggy phase seemed to wear off a bit and van Damme started to become a slightly more interesting actor. Also watch Inferno (I think it's called Desert Heat in some places); that's the one in which he's all drunk and wants to kill himself, but gets saved by his native american friend or something like that. Fun film. Always reminds me a little of Fire Down Below, but that's probably just due to the rural setting and the time of release. Inferno is much more fun than Fire Down Below.


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 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Marked Man

90’s crime thriller, starring Roddy Piper. Bit low budget. Kinda low effort. Feels like an above average TV Movie.

It’s…alright. Not high art. Low budget, but not low effort.

Hey, how much Keeffe does this film have? Miles O'Keeffe! Wahey!
Ehem.
Anyway, I don't think I've seen that one, but it sounds pretty alright. Maybe I can track it down.

Marked Man - that sounds interesting! Not one I have heard of but have added to my watch list. I last saw Roddy in Hell Comes to Frog Town which.. I don't think I can bring myself to write about

Queen of the Damned - thought it was pretty poor but haven't seen it for many years. Always thought the Anne Rice vampire books would make a great series; you could have whole episodes going through some of the backstory of the different characters and then building up to the events of Queen of the Damned, the Body Thief and Menmoch the Devil etc.

The Invisible Man [2020]

Am I allowed to be critical of a film for it not following a plot path and style that I was hoping it would follow, but where the creator (or I suspect, many creators) had a different vision?
I really enjoyed the first 30 minutes of the film; lots of long tense shots of open spaces (Kubrick came to mind), Elizabeth Moss's character trying to escape and recover from an abusive relationship and being haunted by that person's memory.

I thought the film worked really well in that context and could have kept playing with the viewer for a lot longer - is the person real or not, or some sort of manifestation of her trauma?
The moment the movie 'flipped' and kind of gave you the answers I think it plunged downhill from there. Some quite flagrant plot holes, strange character behaviour and I didn't think the ending of the film matched the character of the rest of it and felt forced (I guess I could just insert "because Hollywood" here!) Overall I was probably more disappointed by what the film 'could' have been, had it taken a different route, rather than if the film had never offered any pretension about being anything else.

It did make me jump a couple of times regardless and bits of it had an 'It follows' vibe of the invisible assailant, so would give a 3/5 on that basis.

Never seen Queen of the Damned. I have seen Vampirey in Brooklyn though recently for the first time. It certainly is something. Anyway, we just had vampires tv shows, didn't we? Vampire Diaries (which as i hear was a big success) and True Blood(?). They still could make a great tv show out of Vampire:The Masquerade, what with all the intrigue and all. No idea about the current state of the whole White Wolf world, but V:tM could work without a problem. I'm sure it'll happen sooner or later.



Btw, following Legionnaire the other nicht I watched Inferno (1999).

It's on Youtube! How nice.

Jean Claude van Damme plays Eddie Lomax, driving into the desert on a motorbike, hella drunk and about to kill himself. Only thing he wants to do is give his old friend Danny Trejo, playing a native american, that motorbike as a present. He is getting pestered (not entirely without reason, to be fair) by the three sons of a local baddie and bully, who, in conjunction with a drug dealing biker gang, runs the nearby town. They shoot him down, take the motorbike, and leave him for dead. But Eddie Lomax isn't quite dead yet and wants to get the motorbike for his friend back.

Yojimbo ensues. Well, more like Last Man Standing. I would go as far though as to say that Inferno is better than Last Man Standing. It certainly is more fun and it's sillier. I really love the first few scenes of this film, which is also the reason that got me to claim (see the Legionnaire review above) that JCVD became a more interesting actor around that time. Most interestingly, Danny Trejo also plays a bit against type, by being a Wise Best Friend who also acts as a spiritual guide. Long stretches of the film we don't even quite know if he exists at all. Very, very interesting. There's a shift in tone though as Eddie Lomax enters the little town and basically returns to the world of the living

I read that in Legionnaire van Damme already had pushed for a more comedic tone. In Inferno, he got his wish, it seems. Backed by a very colourful and fun cast of townsfolk (Pat Morita, Vincent Schiavelli, Jamie Pressly in a very early role, Bill Erwin, ...) and very luckily heaps of equipment, van Damme cheerfully and competently blows things up and shoots people. There are some more tonal shifts, but it looks like van Damme really has fun playing silly little comedy bits here and there, up to the point at which he comes across as pretty dorky. Especially so in that scene in which he meets the love interest. It's cute though, because both of them are so overly smitten with each other. It's good fun. It's silly, it's incredibly easy to take offence with it, but I found it to be good fun.

If you watch one van Damme film of that era, make it Inferno (or Desert Heat, as it's called in the US I think). Watch It.


Later on he made some of the ultra gritty prison films which are all blue and grey. I don't care much for those. IIRC in the early 2000s he did Replicant, in which he's the clone of a serial killer or something like that. That one's said to be rather good, especially on van Damme's part. And he plays two roles in that film, so you know it's a good one.

Other notable 90s van Damme films:
.) Double Impact (the gold standard of van Damme playing two roles, and a very fun film)
.) Universal Soldier (of course. Dolph Lundgren's the real star there, but both work really well, and it's a cool action film. Loved Emmerich's commentary on the film as well)
.) Time Cop (only saw it once or twice. It's not very good, but the premise is quite outlandish)
.) The Quest (now that is a fun film, doing the old Bloodsport thing [loads of different martial artists going to an underground tournament. Basically Mortal Kombat, but without all the fantasy stuff] but with a slightly light-hear.ted adventure film bent)
.) Sudden Death (I like Sudden Death. It's got a solid premise and great baddie too. It's basically Under Siege in a hockey stadium. Yeah, yeah, some describe it as a "Die Hard" knock-off, but it feels much more like Under Siege. Fun fact: The Germans remade that Sudden Impact and sat it in a football stadium [of course]. It's called Das Finale (otherwise known as The Final Game) and it's got Christoph Waltz as the bad guy. Btw, there's another version of Sudden Death starring Dave Batista, also set in a football stadium. AND Netflix are planning a 'humorous' remake. So we all know that that'll be crap, banking on a name that's popular with a handful of people. Anyway, watch Sudden Death. It's good.)

The Condemned

It’s got Stone Cold Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones. And it’s made by WWE Studios.

It’s quite good fun, and in a similar vein to 90’s action flicks.

That's the one that's kinda like Battle Royale, but with 'ard men and women instead of schoolkids, right? Big bad dude is streaming it on The Internet.

There's a very nasty scene in which Vinnie Jones does something to a lady from across a valley or something. That film was alrighty, yeah. I just found Steve Austin pretty bland to be honest.

Daredevil Season 2 (Netflix)

Trying to binge it all before it goes away at the end of the month.

Now it might be possible to make an interesting Punisher story, but this ain't it. Jon Bernthal just never interests me and half the season is about him. Charlie Cox is as good as ever, Electra and Stick are cool. Foggy and Karen (sorry not going to look up the actors) are great too. But the Punisher story just drags everything down.

Season 3 is looking up though.


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Well crud.

Turns out Daredevil S3 follows 8 episodes of Defenders. Got till next week to see 7 more DDs and 8 Defenders.

Has it still got the really good camera work? I loved that about the first series; remember one fight sequence that goes on for a few minutes with the camera just following Daredevil as he walks around beating the crap out of everyone, but all in one unbroken take.

Unfortunately the story didn't do enough to keep me watching, although I keep wondering if I should revisit.

Sometimes it does, other times it's ninjas fighting a guy in black at night in a dark warehouse...

For me it's really about Cox as Daredevil and the guy who plays Kingpin (who was also in Full Metal Jacket). They're both amazing.

5 days left...

 Sigur wrote:
That's the one that's kinda like Battle Royale, but with 'ard men and women instead of schoolkids, right? Big bad dude is streaming it on The Internet.

There's a very nasty scene in which Vinnie Jones does something to a lady from across a valley or something. That film was alrighty, yeah. I just found Steve Austin pretty bland to be honest.

That’s the one.

Watched some more Cowboy Bebop tonight. A nice series. At my old age I'm kinda starting to appreciate anime again. Who would have thunk it.

I also watched an episode of Bones for the first time. That is one dire show. Holy heck.

I watched.....

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

As an aside, any movie that has "The Rise of...." in its subtitle is bound to be terrible. This one is no exception.

It was fun seeing all the big names they brought into this movie, to make the movie they did. It has a few moments, and the set-piece in Paris is pretty fun..... even if you can't help but think of Team America: World Police during these scenes.

Overall, the villains are much more interesting than the heroes, and that is a big issue with this flick. Well, that and the cliched action story beats and over-the-top Stephen Sommers directorial style.

I did love how they stitched in a couple of G.I. Joe's taglines into the dialogue. Like many genre movies I watch now, I can;t help but think about how to make them into RPGs. This one would be easy.

I think the rule of thumb is: The dumber the plot, thje better it works for an RPG adventure.


Last night I watched most of Bee Movie again. It's perfectly fine. The second half drags a little, and seems a little jumbled, but it looks great, everybody does a perfectly okay job. I read that some loons took offence or made fun of the relationship between the bee and the lady in the film. Pretty insane. But people will be people.

Either way, it's not a bad film at all. It's perfectly nice and alright.

GI Joe films get a pass from me, because they’re pretty much exactly the sort of live action gimmicky “don’t think too hard or your brain will fall out” silly entertainment Ickle Me would’ve loved, had they been made during GI Joe’s 80’s heyday.

I mean, I get they’re not great films. But I’m pretty much sure the target age range would love them.

VFW

Random flick I found on Prime. Kind of assault on Precinct 13, via Hobo With A Shotgun. Buckets of silly gore. Paper thin plot. But pretty enjoyable all the same. As a freebie I certainly can’t complain, and perhaps one I’d rent to watch with friends on a movie night.

I say give it a watch if Grindhouse type movies are your sort of thing.

War for the Planet of the Apes (2017

Finally got round to this. And…it’s…kind of ok, I guess? Serkis is great as always. But the plot just feel somewhat flaccid. Given its title, there’s far too much silly knees bent running about business, and not enough war.

I mean…the Apes don’t really get involved in the War, outside of the opening and closing scene. And when it’s time for the big fight, it’s oomies vs oomies, with only a couple of ape assisted grenades, then a bloody big avalanche happens and squishes everyone because reasons.

It’s a shame. The first two are pretty solid, if arguably overly long (especially the second one) and this just feels like….well….when you’re caught short on your way home, finally get in and ensconced upon the porcelain throne, only to find the threatened Dirty Protest was in fact just a Little Tommy Squeaker all along. You’re still better off for it, and everyone enjoys a good fart. But you’re ultimately left disappointed, and perhaps slightly ashamed for reasons you can’t adequately explain.

The Harry Hill Movie

It’s daft. It’s colourful. It’s childish. Not everyone cup of tea, but far from being anyone’s cup of poison. I enjoyed it for what it is.

Made it through Daredevil S3 with 3 days to spare.

DD3 was good. I was a bit annoyed when they spent an episode on Not~Bullseye's childhood, but even that was good. Kingpin was awesome as ever. He gets a serious upgrade in power/manipulation, there's several scenes that are just chilling.

Disappointed with the comic book ending (everyone goes to jail/the hospital and can come back any time) but well it's a comic book show.

Now trying Defenders, 8 hours, 3 days...

still can't decide if the change to the scene in the Church irks me or not, although not doing what Kevin Smith did seems wise

The Kid Who Would Be King

A victim of the pandemic in terms of timing.

My word this is a bloody fun movie! Think Arthurian Legend via The Goonies, with a dash of Stranger Things.

I’m not that far into it, but I’m grinning like a loon. This is so much!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

As a franchise, TCM has certainly wandered around without any real direction over the decades. Sequels, reboots, requels have all come and gone, but nothing has ever really captured that lightning back in the bottle that Tobe Hooper caught back in the 70s. (Although I have a certain nostalgia for the Jessica Biel version from back in the noughties.)

So, with such a complicated history, it perhaps makes sense to wipe the slate clean and ignore everything that's happened since the original and start telling a contemporary story that treats the events of the original as essentially urban folklore (complete with in-universe merchandise) in order to free up stroytelling potential.

Unfortunately, the story that's been chosen to be told isn't all that compelling, and despite the lofty pedigree, there's little on offer here to elevate this film above a thousand other slasher pictures.

Fundamentally hamstrung by unlikable protagonists, the film probably works best when viewed from the perspective of Leatherface, who's actions, instead of being those of a heartless psychopath, can actually be reasonably interpreted as those of a wronged and hurt individual, defending their home and avenging the loss of those they loved. Not to justify the body count or the wearing bits of other people, but don't be surprised if over the course of the film you find yourself rooting more for the bad guy than the irritating collection of millenial clichés that the film seems to expect you to.

The production values are good, the gore convincing without necessarily being as visceral or wince inducing as other less polished entries, but ultimately TCM 2022 is remarkable only in how utterly unremarkable it is. Your time would be better spent rewatching the original or the Jessica Biel remake.

I also saw the new movie on Netflex and it's basically just the Halloween reboot but with TCM. Unremarkable is a good way to describe it.

I believe the studio sold this to Netflix rather than pursue a theatrical release, which is modern film production speak for "cutting your losses." Not in the least surprised if that's the case. I wouldn't have wanted to risk reclaiming the costs of a theatrical release with this movie either.

 Azreal13 wrote:
I believe the studio sold this to Netflix rather than pursue a theatrical release, which is modern film production speak for "cutting your losses." Not in the least surprised if that's the case. I wouldn't have wanted to risk reclaiming the costs of a theatrical release with this movie either.

It's a new alternative to Direct to DVD release that saves you the production cost of DVDs.

Yeah, I assume that's true. One more factor that certainly won't raise the profile of what's sold under the big red N.

Last night I happened across a pretty recent film.

I Am Vengeance: Retaliation (2020)

Granted, I didn't see all of it, but I think I got the gist. It's an action film starring Stu Bennett, Vinnie Jones, three blonde ladies. Two of whom are really hard to tell apart, especially since they wear the same black outfit, the same ponytail and they fight all the time. They fight in an impressive, action filmy manner, but a good while I wasn't sure who was who or who was the good one and who was the bad one.

I like Stu Bennett. I like Vinnie Jones. (and I liked the three blonde ladies alright). But the film is cheap as hell. There is very few people involved, and all of them constantly fight each other through abandoned industrial yards. I watched it on TV (where the interesting things happen and where you get to see things you wouldn't otherwise), and thus the German dubbed version. The quality of the dub is always an indicator of the budget as well, and this one was dubbed majorly cheaply. Really impressive. (btw, earlier that night I caught 2 minutes of Robin Hood 2018 on TV, in which the hero had this annoying squeaky voice every single male hero's got since a few years. Add to this the fact that it's Robin Hood 2018, and that was WAY enough to turn it off).

So yeah, Don't Watch. It's really cheap, it's not really good, the fighting's not bad at all, but I can't deal with a cheap film that's just that and otherwise is all grey.



Anything but grey is Rick & Morty. I saw that there's new episodes out on Netflix, and once more I decided to give it a whirl. Good to see that they're still doing exactly the same they've been doing all along (apart from that annoying series in which they did an overarching storyline). Is the show still so highly rated or have people mellowed yet? It seems like each episode's got an interesting idea (often an interesting one too), and then they feel like they have to add some main character being beaten up and then murdering people (is graphic violence even effective enough to warrant its existence in cartoon tv shows?) or some nostalgia act. Very often also a b-story about something that tries to establish some really ham-fisted emotion. But at its core, there sometimes are interesting concepts. With tons of faff over it. But I think I ranted about that show already.