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Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Why did the Penguin go to the shops?

To buy his dinner.

Sheesh... and I thought my jokes were bad.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Two men chatting with each other "Yesterday my wife said the way we act she thinks all men together only have a single brain they use in turns."
"And? Did you come up with a good comeback?"
"I couldn't, wasn't my turn to use the brain..."

The Black and White Space Marine On His Black and White Bike

*deeeeeeeep breath*……….

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interup…
MOO

The thread title is "Have you heard any good jokes lately?"

Based on the content of this thread, the answer is no.



/S

Dunno, you’re in here?

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

/S, obviously.

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom …

… and American when you come out...

What are you in the bathroom?


European.

Exalted. That’s a great one

90% of Bald men still own a comb

They can’t part with it..

Whew... the hits keep on coming.


How about this gem?


Who are the biggest threat to Imperium teeth?

Plaque Marines

 Easy E wrote:
The thread title is "Have you heard any good jokes lately?"

Based on the content of this thread, the answer is no.



/S

Came here to say exactly the same thing!

Why do Norwegian warships have barcodes on the sides?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

How about a few Chuck Norris jokes?

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and it killed 50 people. Then it exploded.

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just the Islands.

The boogeyman checks under his bed every night for Chuck Norris.

The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was the time he thought he made a mistake.

A rattlesnake once bit Chuck Norris. After three days of agony, the snake finally died.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor told him "Congratulations, you have two healthy parents!"

What is the Silent King's favorite game?

Settlers of C'tan

I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.

☆☆☆

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

Booo

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.

☆☆☆

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

A quartet of prominent crows have started a charity to help birds injured by vehicles.

It’s for good caws…

A group of crows were trying to get together but then they got arrested for attempted murder.

I hear that crows have 13 primary wing feathers, while ravens have 14. The difference between them in a matter of a pinion.

I laughed at nearly all of these jokes. I may have to report myself to the commissar.

 Lathe Biosas wrote:
I'm afraid that this one will not translate well to people who don't interact with New Englanders.

☆☆☆

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.

By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”

Hey! I resemble that remahk!

Why did the can crusher quit her job?

It was soda-pressing.