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SWAT III: Under Siege

OK there's cheap, there's direct-to-video cheap, and then there's "we can't even afford to license the theme song of the TV show we're derived from". I swear half the budget went to renting Black SUVs for this one.

Which is a shame because this is a halfway competent action film.

Sgt Stewart S Swat (who is unfortunately not played by Steven Siegal but by some guy from Parenthood, and not the good Parenthood, the movie, the mediocre sitcom Parenthood) and Seattle SWAT capture drug lord/assassin/mercenary/CIA operative/demon spawn Al Simmons and hold him in Fort Swat. So the local drug lord/mercenary/crime boss/whatever sends his private army of the baddest badashes in all of Seattle to get him back. And only Sgt Swat and Mockingbird Agent of SHIELD stand in their way!

Will Team SWAT fight off the army of mercenaries? Will Trooper Benedict Arnold betray them? Will Al Simmons kill a whole big buttload of guys? Will Bad Hacker defeat Good Hacker and hack open the door? Can you hack a door? I mean that doesn't seem like the sort of thing you'd put on an integrated network, surely they'd be on a hardwired system no? That was First Traitor, but what about Second Traitor?

So it's a good idea for a Bottle Episode, a couple of SWAT guys, Adrianne Palicki and Michael Jai White and whoever played Sgt Swat against an army of goons so generic they all wear facemasks so you can use the same stunt guy again and again. It has flaws, Sgt Swat is completely uninteresting and the rest of the team gets no personality. But again, good wall paper for building Arbites.

Now the question is, do I jump into SWAT The Series?

Play us out Robert Duncan!

The main guy in the SWAT TV show is also in Sonic II!

The universe is a small place!

Breaking

A few years ago John Boyega was the darling of fresh British acting talent. He dominated the screen time in Attack the Block and was one of the rare elements of the Star Wars sequels that wasn't utterly embarrassing. So I'm interested to see him in a real acting role and try to make a fair judgement.

Sadly, this isn't the film for that. For too much of the film it feels as though if they could have got Denzel Washington to do the part then they'd have preferred that. Indeed, given that the plot is hostage taking to right the wrongs of unfair bureaucracy, there's a strong feeling of low budget John Q. running through the whole affair. For too much of the film John is pulling a Denzel impression and only in sparse moments do we get to see him breaking through (during which he is very, very good).

While it's not a bad film, I can only recommend as a curiosity.

Woodshock

I saw it had Kirsten Dunst and decided to give it a watch. This is..... not the movie for me.

Very slow pacing, not a lot of dialogue, and focused mostly on short, tightly clipped, hallucinations often involving the forest and lumberjack industry.

I am not saying it was bad, but it just wasn't for me.

 Easy E wrote:
Woodshock

I saw it had Kirsten Dunst and decided to give it a watch. ....

Your actions were made for the universally correct reasons. Shame it didn't work out so well.

Labyrinth of Cinema

Imagine Neal Breen was a talented artist with something genuine to say.

Nobuhiko Obayashi, director of House/Hausu, co-wrote, directed and edited this to be his ultimate movie about movies, war movies, and movies about war movies. The story structure is surreal and nonlinear in places, using layers of artificiality and jaunty, upbeat pacing to tell a very real and not at all jaunty or upbeat story about Japanese wartime atrocities. It urges the audience to seek a future of peace, to use positive movies and art for inspiration. It was almost overwhelming, in terms of emotion and visual stimulation. I recommend it.


However, if you only ever see one Obayashi movie, see House.

i love Labyrinth of Cinema! i was just thinking about it a few minutes ago, even. easily one of my all-time favorite movies

it's a movie that really earns its length for how much complexity it's able to stuff into it. not just focusing on the effect that war had on Japan, but the effects that Japan's war had on the countries surrounding it, especially the Ryukyuan islands (otherwise known as Okinawa), and for as much as can be said about the negative effects the war had on Japan, the effects for those other countries experienced were far more grave. or, for the film aspect of the film, the way that film itself can be used as medium for keeping the experiences, thoughts, and beliefs alive for future generations to learn from (a theme further emboldened by this being Obayashi's last; thus, his sendoff and his attempt to push forward into future generations

truly an incredible film, and one that only gets better the more time you have to think about it

Mortdecai

In which Johnny Depp pretends he has a fraction of the charm of Terry Thomas,

A frustratingly uneven film. It most definitely has its moments, and when those land it’s very enjoyable. But when you’re done watching, part from the odd quote, completely fades from memory.

Please tell me his antagonists are named Bigthan and Teresh..?

Erm…I don’t think so.

 StudentOfEtherium wrote:
i love Labyrinth of Cinema! i was just thinking about it a few minutes ago, even. easily one of my all-time favorite movies

it's a movie that really earns its length for how much complexity it's able to stuff into it. not just focusing on the effect that war had on Japan, but the effects that Japan's war had on the countries surrounding it, especially the Ryukyuan islands (otherwise known as Okinawa), and for as much as can be said about the negative effects the war had on Japan, the effects for those other countries experienced were far more grave. or, for the film aspect of the film, the way that film itself can be used as medium for keeping the experiences, thoughts, and beliefs alive for future generations to learn from (a theme further emboldened by this being Obayashi's last; thus, his sendoff and his attempt to push forward into future generations

truly an incredible film, and one that only gets better the more time you have to think about it

I intend to revisit it sometime. Like you said, there’s a lot to it, more than I could pick up in a single viewing. It’s a bit too emotionally endowed to watch casually or back-to-back for me, though.

It’s surprising that it wasn’t talked about more during its US release. It seems like exactly the kind of movie-about-movies and experimental that a lot of film buffs love. It displays Tarantino levels of love for the craft.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Erm…I don’t think so.

What a waste.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:

 StudentOfEtherium wrote:
i love Labyrinth of Cinema! i was just thinking about it a few minutes ago, even. easily one of my all-time favorite movies

it's a movie that really earns its length for how much complexity it's able to stuff into it. not just focusing on the effect that war had on Japan, but the effects that Japan's war had on the countries surrounding it, especially the Ryukyuan islands (otherwise known as Okinawa), and for as much as can be said about the negative effects the war had on Japan, the effects for those other countries experienced were far more grave. or, for the film aspect of the film, the way that film itself can be used as medium for keeping the experiences, thoughts, and beliefs alive for future generations to learn from (a theme further emboldened by this being Obayashi's last; thus, his sendoff and his attempt to push forward into future generations

truly an incredible film, and one that only gets better the more time you have to think about it

I intend to revisit it sometime. Like you said, there’s a lot to it, more than I could pick up in a single viewing. It’s a bit too emotionally endowed to watch casually or back-to-back for me, though.

It’s surprising that it wasn’t talked about more during its US release. It seems like exactly the kind of movie-about-movies and experimental that a lot of film buffs love. It displays Tarantino levels of love for the craft.

i think the issue is that for the majority of people, Obayashi is "that guy who made the silly 70s horror movie", and so something much more serious wouldn't be what people are looking for (House has plenty of serious aspects to it, and a lot to say about generational trauma and war, but it's far from direct about it)

I mean, yeah House is a lot of silly fun, but it’s clearly deliberate, not accidental. It also had something to say about grief and the trauma of the war, and made it accessible to young people in a way a serious movie probably wouldn’t.

I guess I don’t understand the critics who dismiss it for being experimental. The sheer craft of cinematography, the editing, the different wipes and transitions and animations and stop motion techniques used to draw the audience in while constantly reminding them they’re watching a movie—I’d love to see more of these techniques used more often to make movies feel fresh and creative.

That’s one reason I recommend Hundreds of Beavers so much; it’s a breath of fresh air to see someone try something new in a medium that often feels mined out.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
I mean, yeah House is a lot of silly fun, but it’s clearly deliberate, not accidental. It also had something to say about grief and the trauma of the war, and made it accessible to young people in a way a serious movie probably wouldn’t.

I guess I don’t understand the critics who dismiss it for being experimental. The sheer craft of cinematography, the editing, the different wipes and transitions and animations and stop motion techniques used to draw the audience in while constantly reminding them they’re watching a movie—I’d love to see more of these techniques used more often to make movies feel fresh and creative.

That’s one reason I recommend Hundreds of Beavers so much; it’s a breath of fresh air to see someone try something new in a medium that often feels mined out.

that bit there is a great example of why Obayashi is so good. his films are serious and thematic, but still approachable (as approachable as three hour avant-garde films can be). and re:the craft of film, i'm convinced that no one used greenscreen as well as Obayashi. fully leaning into the artifice in a great way

haven't heard of Hundreds of Beavers, but any film mentioned alongside Obayashi must be worth watching! will watch it soon

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
SWAT III: Under Siege

OK there's cheap, there's direct-to-video cheap, and then there's "we can't even afford to license the theme song of the TV show we're derived from". I swear half the budget went to renting Black SUVs for this one.

Which is a shame because this is a halfway competent action film.

Sgt Stewart S Swat (who is unfortunately not played by Steven Siegal but by some guy from Parenthood, and not the good Parenthood, the movie, the mediocre sitcom Parenthood) and Seattle SWAT capture drug lord/assassin/mercenary/CIA operative/demon spawn Al Simmons and hold him in Fort Swat. So the local drug lord/mercenary/crime boss/whatever sends his private army of the baddest badashes in all of Seattle to get him back. And only Sgt Swat and Mockingbird Agent of SHIELD stand in their way!

Will Team SWAT fight off the army of mercenaries? Will Trooper Benedict Arnold betray them? Will Al Simmons kill a whole big buttload of guys? Will Bad Hacker defeat Good Hacker and hack open the door? Can you hack a door? I mean that doesn't seem like the sort of thing you'd put on an integrated network, surely they'd be on a hardwired system no? That was First Traitor, but what about Second Traitor?

So it's a good idea for a Bottle Episode, a couple of SWAT guys, Adrianne Palicki and Michael Jai White and whoever played Sgt Swat against an army of goons so generic they all wear facemasks so you can use the same stunt guy again and again. It has flaws, Sgt Swat is completely uninteresting and the rest of the team gets no personality. But again, good wall paper for building Arbites.

Now the question is, do I jump into SWAT The Series?

Play us out Robert Duncan!

Well, SWAT (the modern) series is far more entertaining than what you've been subjecting yourself to....

Samurai Marathon

This movie had me at the start when Commodore Perry comes ashore to Yankee Doodle and one of the Samurai gets chastized for doing a little dance XD

The premise: a lord, worried about the fate of the country with the arrival of Perry and his ships, decides his samurai are weak and lazy. The solution? He's gonna make them run. They're gonna run a lot.

Which is a bit deceptive as summary as there's several other things going on in this plot; a ninja working for the Shogun who sends a letter warning of the mobilization of Samurai before he realizes its just a marathon desperate to stop his mistake from ending in blood. A girl who is trying to get out from her father's oppressive parenting. A guy who wants to marry that girl. And of course a lot of guys who don't want to go running and one who very much does.

It's something akin to a chase film in the end, but it's a fun little period piece if you're in the look for some samurai cinema.

EDIT: there's also a bit of a theme running (haha puns!), based on how the samurai in this era aren't the warriors they were in previous ages. Many of the characters do not work as soldiers. They're accountants. Secretaries. Tax collectors and such. Men who carry swords but have little to no real use for them. Kind of a film about a country on the cusp of the future, and the characters who have their own futures on their minds as the marathon plays out.

I watched Samurai Marathon, and enjoyed it.

The Marksman

A Liam Neeson Thriller of a recent vintage, so you kinda know what you are going to get.

A rancher at the border gets caught up in the middle of some Cartel business. This man is on the cusp of losing everything, and decides to help this migrant boy get to his family in Chicago, while being pursued by the Cartel. Heavy on suspense rather than out-right action.

This movie is not that good, but it is triggering me to feel like I have a lot to say about it. Here are a collection of half-formed thoughts....

1. This is a modern Western. The themes, especially at the beginning; align with that genre. What is justice? The main character's honor. The unrelenting nature of environment. A man who has lost just about everything.

2. Most action movies are by definition "Right-wing" in nature. They do not make a huge deal about "Open Borders" and I applaud the movies restraint by not making the implicit explicit. However, the subtext in much of this movie is antigovernment and right-wing as feth.

- Borders
- Firearms
- Law-enforcement (and government) is bad
- The system is corrupt

It hits a lot of the marks for current right-wing folks in the West.

3. The movie does not have a definitive ending. It is open to interpretation about what happens. I like that in a movie.

4. The film does a pretty good job setting up the film. What they show you on screen is just enough to keep the plot movie and help you understand the characters, and everything extraneous is left out. Excellent and streamlined film, strong craft there.

5. The main character and the main villain have both been shaped by violence. It is a strong theme in this film for the Protag and Antagonist to act as influences to the little boy on what path to take. There is a strong theme that runs through the film, and the movie has a Point-of-view BUT as I said the ending is very ambiguous on this topic.

So, a little low-budget thriller that did get sometime in the theatres. This movie has a decent amount of craft put into it. I would say the "worst" part of the movie is that it is all sizzle and no steak.

If you want to watch some Neo-Westerns, than check out this and Hell or High Water. I liked that one better, but the two would go okay together as a double feature.

Abigail (2024)

Solid vampire survival flick. Pretty funny writing, lots of gore and enough twists to keep you on your toes. Also, I know the actor died young in real life, but man was it satisfying seeing them get killed first. As soon as they opened their mouth, I said that person needs to die ASAP. And sure enough!

8/10

I also enjoyed Abigail.

Between that and Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Kevin Durand is having a great summer.

Smokin' Aces

The mob puts out a hit on a Las Vegas magician who his holed up in a Lake Tahoe penthouse. A variety of colorful assassins gather to collect.

The editing in the movie is very "of-it's-time". The cast is pretty stacked. It is also notable that Ryan Reynolds actually tries to act in this one, and not just mug for the camera doing his usual stick.

The movie starts kind of light-hearted and fun, but gets very serious and depressing towards the end. It feels like a big tonal shift.

I actually expected more from this film, but it did not deliver.

 Easy E wrote:
Smokin' Aces

I don't recall if I ever bothered watching this one. I know what you mean by "of its time" as I immediately think of Layer Cake, Lucky Number Slevin or 21.

I had figured Smoking Aces was more of a Shoot ‘em Up than an Ecks vs Sever. Huh.

Anyway…


Legend of the Cat Monster

The other Obayashi movie with a cat.

My son really wanted to see another crazy Obayashi movie, but we couldn’t find The Girl Who Leapt Through Time or School in the Crosshairs anywhere on streaming, and we thought Legend of the Cat Monster might be good enough. We thought wrong. Mostly.

It’s a made for TV movie about a failing writer and producer want to hire a famous old actress, an actress who it turns out murdered her lover when he tried to leave for Hollywood, and now is an immortal witch? succubus? cat monster? obsessed with forcing the young writer into the role of her dead lover. And the entire first hour feels like a conventional made for TV movie, which isn’t great.

Then an hour in they all sit down to eat some fish heads and stuff goes bananas. After dinner, an old director decides to punish a young woman in a scene easily 100 times kinkier than 50 Shades, ending with . At one hour and twenty minutes of the youtube version is my favorite sudden-cat-jump-scare of all time, OF ALL TIME.

TLR: It’s a skip, except for the cat scare at 1:20:05ish, which is highly recommended.


Emotion

Obayashi’s student film, bursting with strong student film energy. It’s experimental, sometimes hilarious, often baffling, and completely 60’s. It mostly made up for Legend of the Cat Monster, mostly.



Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

It’s good.

Emotion is as messy as Obayashi gets, but in the best way. gorgeous film

Horns with Mr Radcliffe.

A man who has made more money that he will ever need continues his exploration of whatever the hell he feels like. And that is just Daniel, rather than the film.

It’s a weird and violent fairy tale of love, loss, sudden and inexplicable power and annoyingly long flashbacks, with a frisson of redemption added in for kicks. The twist is telegraphed and hugely obvious.

The truth telling bits were entertaining and quite dark. The snakes were unexpected.

All in All an odd 90 minutes or so. I’ll have to get back to as to whether I actually enjoyed it or not.




Automatically Appended Next Post:
I might watch Guns Akimbo next and stick with the theme.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
I had figured Smoking Aces was more of a Shoot ‘em Up than an Ecks vs Sever. Huh.
....

I liked Shoot'em Up. Layer Cake was alright, but it always immediately makes me think of that Daniel Craig film in which he tries to help at the ballooning accident, fails to do so and then gets stalked by the dude who loves him or something. That one was more interesting and I watched both around the same time.

Never got the appeal of Lucky Number Slevin. Is 21 the Stallone card playing film?


@Flinty: Good points. I enjoyed Horns for the most part (apart from the ending).




Finished Farscape season 4, commenced Peacekeeper Wars pt.1, everything is very enjoyable, as before.

 Sigur wrote:
Layer Cake was alright,... Never got the appeal of Lucky Number Slevin. Is 21 the Stallone card playing film?

Only got around to Layer Cake recently and "alright" is about as much as I can praise it. Equally like you, Slevin was a nothing much for me. And 21 was a Kevin Spacey playing the odds at blackjack film that was equally meh.

Unmistakably films of that time period.

I like Smok'n Aces, not so much because I think it's a good film but because it's an unrestrained trashy film. Smok'n Aces feels like a movie where the cast and crew got together, decided 'feth it we'll do what we want' and just did what they wanted.

It's not a high concept film.

It's not a clever film.

It's not even a particularly good film.

It's just a fun action bonanza with a cast of zany characters.

It's basically the spiritual predecessor to the Bullet Train film imo, both being very similar kinds of movies with a similar premise of just being a bit balls off the walls over the top ridiculousness. Except Smok'n Aces had the wisdom to know when to end before overstaying its welcome.

 Henry wrote:

 Sigur wrote:
Layer Cake was alright,... Never got the appeal of Lucky Number Slevin. Is 21 the Stallone card playing film?

Only got around to Layer Cake recently and "alright" is about as much as I can praise it. Equally like you, Slevin was a nothing much for me. And 21 was a Kevin Spacey playing the odds at blackjack film that was equally meh.

Unmistakably films of that time period.

Riiight, that Kevin Spacey one. I think I've watched that, but it didn't leave much of an impact on me.