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Saw Furiosa. Enjoyed it. Did anyone else feel like Scrotus and Rectus were inspired by a pair of Saturday Night Live characters?

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Gauntlet (2018)

A Netflix season, new cast but geek royalty like Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt. First up was Mac and Me, and this is the only way I would ever watch that turd.

Now on Atlantic Rim, a mockbuster of Pacific Rim. It's bad.

By which I mean it is very good.

Mac and Me is one of my favorite MST3ks. It only made it funnier that my wife had never heard of Mac and Me and found the aliens to be pure nightmare fuel.

Sadly, that was a film I saw a few times as a kid. My brother and I used to laugh at it, but not as hard as MST3k made me laugh at it.

And like that, with basically no warning or announcement, they drop Godzilla Minus One on Netflix.

About fething time it hit some platform somewhere.

Godzilla Minus One

You can finally watch it on Netflix. It's good so for. This has been your Godzilla Minus One is on Netflix (in the US) PSA.

 LordofHats wrote:
And like that, with basically no warning or announcement, they drop Godzilla Minus One on Netflix.

About fething time it hit some platform somewhere.

Godzilla Minus One

You can finally watch it on Netflix. It's good so for. This has been your Godzilla Minus One is on Netflix (in the US) PSA.

I also saw Godzilla Minus One a couple days ago, it was really good IMO.

It does two things that stood out to me - it had a compelling human storyline (which is rare for Godzilla films) and it returned to the roots of the original film by making Godzilla a metaphor. In this case a metaphor for PTSD and the unresolved trauma of WW2.

IIRC the budget for the film wasn't that big, and you can tell there's some rough spots where the CGI doesn't quite mesh with the real world people and items on screen, but that's something that happens even in much bigger budgeted movies.

Overall I'd recommend it.

War of the Worlds (2005)

A miserable experience.

Other than a few stand out visuals and the severe divorce, Spielberg brought nothing to this film. Every character is unlikeable and unrealistically dysfunctional “so the movie can happen”. There were several opportunities for characters to communicate for one minute that could have prevented over an hour of stupidity.

As Richard Geni once asked, “Have you ever seen a movie that slaps you in the face with how stupid it is?” He was talking about Jaws 4, but WOTW2005 would also qualify. Everything from Tim Robbins apparently reprising his role from Howard the Duck to Tom Cruise making every wrong decision to the aliens having the same head and anatomy as their tripods, which were buried undiscovered under Manhattan (and every other modern city) before humanity had civilization so that the Martians could invade much later when humanity had a better chance of stopping them. There’s a scene where he’s looking for his (stupid) daughter and he has to pry open a door and tear off vines to get through, and then starts asking if she came this way. And yet he is leagues smarter than the teenager who keeps running towards the invincible death machines that he saw already destroyed an army so that he can make them pay.

I’d rank this with Peter Jackson’s King Kong in the halls of the most embarrassing remakes. At least Peter Jackson was having fun.

Yeah, the underground thing was a real head scratcher.

I don't tend to overthink movies, and try to accept them at their face, but that really stretched my ability to do so.

 Easy E wrote:
The Baker

I am a sucker for the "You messed with the wrong guy" genre of films. This fits into that category comfortably. This time Ron Pearlman is the star as the aging but lethal Baker. Plus, as a former baker myself, it tickled me to see the profession held up on screen.

Solid entertainment.

There are two films by this name? I thought you meant
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Baker_(2007_film)
It has possibly the most disturbing sex scene ever committed to celluloid in it...


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:

Michael Jai White is a McDonalds. Nowhere near the best available option, but plenty reliable and you know it’s going to be tasty enough.

What’s important is that he has serious screen presence. Which given he’s a martial artist first, actor second is fine with me.

Just think if he had been cast as iron fist instead of the bloke who couldn't do any martial arts! Would have been awesome. As a bonus anyone complaining about the casting could be challenged to defend their view in the ring.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Flinty wrote:
I have watched The Crow a lot. It pushes all kinds of buttons in my psyche.

The new one looks utterly terrible and misses all of the points of the original.

It was very much of its time. The setting, mood and music are all very 90's. What is the contemporary to 90's goths and that type of music? All I can think of is medway denizens in bluewater and taylor swift etc. That lends itself more to a slasher or other horror film...

 ScarletRose wrote:
It does two things that stood out to me - it had a compelling human storyline (which is rare for Godzilla films) and it returned to the roots of the original film by making Godzilla a metaphor. In this case a metaphor for PTSD and the unresolved trauma of WW2.

IIRC the budget for the film wasn't that big, and you can tell there's some rough spots where the CGI doesn't quite mesh with the real world people and items on screen, but that's something that happens even in much bigger budgeted movies.

Overall I'd recommend it.

It is estimated to have been roughly $15 million, which is less than a single episode of She-Hulk, which was about $20-25 million an episode.

I can also recommend Shin Godzilla.

It’s done very much in the “slightly wonky style” of the original, including goofy looking eyes on Godzilla. But it’s a cracking film.

 A Town Called Malus wrote:
It strikes me as a film which is telling a story that just doesn't need to be told?

I think having the exact details of how the events of The Omen came about as mostly unknown and only hinted to is quite essential to the atmosphere of the film.

It'd be like trying to explain the origins of the demon in The Exorcist, but thankfully they never made another Exorcist film about Regan specifically, or named that particular demon.

Very good points. I mean that could be said about almost every single prequel, but here especially it's weird. Funnily enough I only saw the original once and the 2005(?) remake with Liev Schreiber twice, but isn't an important bit in both films how they find his mother's grave, dig her up and there's a dog skeleton in the coffin?

I think it's just that thing again where a studio felt paricularly scared and uncreative and the prequel is the safest bet they could make. You can foreshadow to things which are going to happen lateron, everone in the audience is safe in the knowledge that even if this sucks, the actual film is good, and so on.



@Kid_Kyoto: Are the new MST3k seasons any good? I do have netflix, but they don't show up on the platform 'round here, god-knows-why, and Netflix seems to be able to detect my crap VPNs.

@The_Real_Chris: Good point about the crow. I guess I like it so much because the older I get the more I am of my time (which is way past) as well. Is there counter-culture nowadays, or is it all individualized struggle for attention and capital? Not that it wasn't then either, I suppose, because the 90s laid the foundation for neo-con latter capitalist days and such, but: Heck, I want to see and hear gitars! Here's a hint for the next generation: Take a guitar in your hands, have long hair, be young and thin and get on a stage and you're the most desirable person in the world! Maybe I'll put that on my soon-to-be gravestone.

Some mysteries don't work anymore when you give them answers.

Death Stalker

I expected plenty of T&A with Lana Clarkson in the credits, but this is a bit too rape-y for my tastes.

I could say a lot more about the film, but.... it's Death Stalker it is not supposed to be great art.

That’s a shame. I’d heard so much about Deathstalker, and seen its sequels in place of honor on the Wheel of the Worst. But “too rapey” is a quality of film I avoid.

Deathstalker 2 and 3 certainly deserve such a place of honor. They're also not all that representative of the first movie. Probably safer to watch if you take moral issues with the first one as well. Deathstalker 4 is a bit of a return to form, as I recall, but unfortunately takes shortcuts by (somewhat jarringly) using footage from the first one.

Deathstalker is a pretty decent entry in the barbarian genre, though. Maybe a bit of a rough start, but I remember it to have reasonable production values, which isn't something you can say for most of those films. If you're interested in the genre after seeing Conan and Red Sonja, I'd actually recommend watching it before movies like Beastmaster or Ator for being close in tone.

I'll leave the parental advisory notes to others. I haven't seen the movie in years. I should probably change that.

So, you’re saying it’s like the Revenge of the Nerds franchise, where the second one is a lot less …predatory.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
They Live

The one that’s here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and it’s all out of bubble gum.

Nada is a down on his luck construction worker who stumbles onto the horrible, horrible truth: capitalism, consumerism and exploitation walk among us. They Live is a classic that will ever be a movie that’s More Relevant Now Than Ever. So, yeah, it holds up.

If that doesn’t appeal, here are two other reasons to watch it:

1. The memes.
2. The never-ending alley fight.

Watch it. Buy it. Buy the t-shirt. Buy the Ultra-4k Special Edition.
Consume.

We had a local screening a few months back. I took both my daughters and the wifey to see it. It managed to hold a adhd 9 year olds attention and she had questions. Still love this movie.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
So, you’re saying it’s like the Revenge of the Nerds franchise, where the second one is a lot less …predatory.

I think so, with two caveats. First, it's been a while and I'm going off the memory of my impression at the time more than any memory of the actual movies. I'd have to watch them again to go into any kind of detail. Which I might. I don't have any other plans for the weekend.

And second, I couldn't say about the comparison because I've never seen Revenge of the Nerds. I didn't even know there are sequels.

 Hulksmash wrote:
...

We had a local screening a few months back. I took both my daughters and the wifey to see it. It managed to hold a adhd 9 year olds attention and she had questions. Still love this movie.

that's the thing. It's so wonderfully straight-up and I have yet to see a person who doesn't like it. Years ago I watched it with a friend who's got very, very little to do with genre films at all, and she liked it fine. They Live is for everyone and should be viewed by everyone.

Semi-related and not-at-all humble brag?

A personal, movie related nerd dream just came true.

https://www.magnoliprops.com/tobin-s-spirit-guide-pre-order-journals-p-741.html

YOGODDAMNBEDDABELIEVEITBAHBEH!

That’s cool. I hope the content is more compelling than the (Simon) Necronomicon.

Still, hard to beat the “real” texts that inspired it, such as the Lesser Key of Solomon.

It promises to be Full Content.

I have the other version you mentioned, and that’s a pretty fun read. Not terribly stylised, but fun. Hence I was happy to pay what, like. £25 for it?

But this is coming from a reputable prop creator. I’m well excited!

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
That’s a shame. I’d heard so much about Deathstalker, and seen its sequels in place of honor on the Wheel of the Worst. But “too rapey” is a quality of film I avoid.

I have an opinion on that now. Not sure how helpful it is.

The whole rapey thing seems toned down to me for something the movie revels in. In the sense that it's an early 80s movie and it's casual about it in a way you wouldn't get from 70s exploitation movies a few short years earlier. It's kind of lacking in gravity.

The movie isn't all serious in general. It's got a curious split where the parts relevant to progressing the overall story are perfectly serious, but it has a lot of humorous parts sprinkled in for flavor. Whether that humor lands or not we'll leave to personal taste.

I do believe how you take the rapey parts comes down to your outlook. Through the lens of modern western sensibilities you may well be better served not watching the movie. If you can get behind the idea that you're watching a movie that overplays things and is a voyeuristic look at a chaotic evil bad guy running a chaotic evil kingdom in which most characters are chaotic evil and the protagonist gets to be the hero because he's merely chaotic neutral, the exploitation may not get in the way of your enjoyment.

Probably not a suitable movie for kids, though.

I was talking about Deathstalker in the context of something I watch with my son. So that last sentence pretty much wraps it up.

Under Paris

It's a shark movie.

Want to watch shark movie?

This is shark movie.

Shark movie has sharks.

Good for watch movie when wanting to watch shark movie.

City Hunter (The new Netflix version)

I enjoyed it more than the overly-cartoony Jackie Chan version from the 80's, but, somehow, being live-action emphasises how shallow and generic the property really is. Still an okay action comedy though, and I'll watch more if they make it.

Mortal Kombat: Legends:- Cage Match

I don't know why, but I love these little animated Mortal Kombat movies even though (As someone who hasn't touched the games since the 90's) I don't know who most of the characters are. This one was the best so far, part neon 80's action movie homage, part Johnny Cage origin story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyt0bZms5zU
The Cornerstone of Johnny Reb. An excellent surreal comedy and probably the most action packed ending to a history youtube series I've seen. Horrible Histories for Adults.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
I was talking about Deathstalker in the context of something I watch with my son. So that last sentence pretty much wraps it up.

It's why I included it.

I'm not terribly comfortable telling other people how to parent, but since it's the better safe than sorry option, there's probably no harm in it. I know teenage me would have liked Deathstalker. Teenage me's parents would have seen things differently, though.

Dolls 1987.

Really solid horror film, about killer dolls and the elderly couple responsible for their creation.

Whilst one of said elderly couple would go on to play Gladys in the incomparable Maid Marian and her Merry Man? The true stars of this film are those behind the makeup and SFX, because they’re both comfortable above par.

There’s a fair amount of “just off camera” to our diminutive killers, which helps build tension in an otherwise very silly movie. But it’s the facial expressions changing so smoothly that really works.

Most definitely worth a watch if you like your horror flicks.

Deathstalker! The bonanza continues!

Deathstalker II:

What's the mark of a great movie? The hero is portrayed by a different actor! And Deathstalker II delivers!

While the first movie is a serious entry in the barbarian genre, even if it's spiced up with a measure of humor and has to contend with, well, let's call it budget and talent restraints, in spirit it very much plays it straight. While not devoid of humor, the movie is serious about its story.

Deathstalker II, by contrast, is a straight up comedy. Perhaps it is not even worse for it. The movie's budget seems to be blown on pyrotechnics in a scene that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Costumes are cheap. And it does bear pointing out that this is very much an aberration for the series. Even with a few reasonable efforts, the costumes in Deathstalker II stand out for how lacking they are. Acting? Is there even such a thing? One might doubt it. Perhaps most striking, the original Deathstalker implies that the hero is a barbarian. It's not specifically concerned with categorization, but that is the undertone. Especially since the movie exists in the wake of Conan the Barbarian. In Deathstalker II, the eponymous hero reskilled to be a full blown rogue. Literally and explicitly the prince of thieves. The jokes aren't bad if you have no standards like me, and the comedy does work on the at least somewhat reasonable standard of situational comedy, so it does not stoop to terrible lows. But in light of the original and the successors, it needs to be noted that the movie stands out for the complete shift in tone and genre.

As far as stock footage goes, the movie does use scenes from the original. While not excessive, they stand out. To the movie's credit, it recreates the pig people costume from the first movie to establish continuity.

For a bit more credit. even if I'm not sure it fits the genre, the movie's musical theme isn't just lively but also very memorable.

In light of recent discussions we all know the question posed. The answer is that Deathstalker II has a moderate amount of nudity, limited as you would expect from an 80s movie to boobs, skimpy outfits and skirts that may be too far on the short side. It features a brief rape attempt by evil soldiers who get their comeuppance immediately, so aside from some torn clothes and the implication of what might have happened, it doesn't go anywhere.

Deathstalker III: The Return of Production Values!

What's the mark of a great movie? The hero is portrayed by yet another different actor! And Deathstalker III delivers!

As the most inoffensive part of the series, the lone rape attempt that is shown is very much implied for the most part before the evil soldier trying to have a little bit of fun meets his expected demise. There are of course a few nude scenes, but even compared to the previous movie, they are dialed back.

A positive look at the movie suggests that it's not as bad as its reputation would have you believe. Unlike its predecessor, it features competent action scenes, if tempered by what one assumes is a slim budget. It may not exhibit much professionalism, but you can see and appreciate the effort. At least for the first half of the movie you should not feel foolish for believing that it might have something going for it.

What lets the movie down is that characters show up as is convenient to the plot and its developments, regardless of how nonsensical those appearances are in context. Even for an 80s movie effort, it's kind of shoddy. By modern standards, it is very much farcical. If you add the overplayed main villain and a badly conceived final battle, it's not a movie that can flaunt its merits without having its downsides weigh heavily, and I'd argue too heavily against it.

On the bright side, it does not need to use footage from previous movies and works well creating scenes unique to it. As before, it stands out in the series because of it.

Unlike the previous movie, the sound design is unfortunately lacking and a letdown.

Bonus round:Deathstalker IV: Whatever did we do in the Meantime?

To start, the movie's opening narration acknowledges that women are prizes for the strong to take, so you know what you're in for. In spite of this, the movie isn't terribly rapey. There's a glimpse of an orgy, but mostly the nudity should be no more offensive than the average 80s movie. Even if Deathstalker IV is from the early 90s.

The good news? The original actor is back to play Deathstalker. The not entirely good news? While the opening narration focuses on the first movie, suggesting that this is a direct continuation of that, it also draws on the initial part of Deathstalker III for its story and reinterprets it to a degree to facilitate the fourth movie's story. Compared to previous parts it takes the cake in that it uses footage not just from two previous Deathstalker movies, but also one or possibly two more unaffiliated movies. It's not shy about creating its own scenes, and considering that it's essentially reusing the plot of the first movie it might not even need any of that. But it does rely on those imported scenes nonetheless. That makes it look kind of cheap

Action scenes are kind of competent if you keep the budget in mind, very much reminiscent of the first move.You wouldn't highlight it as the peak of the craft by far, but it's not hilariously bad either.

Compared to the previous entries you might consider that the movie shows a measure of representation you wouldn't expect from 80s or legacy 80s movies in that a side villain is a lesbian bimbo who's put in her place by a straight bimbo while participating in a tournament held by a sorceress bimbo. In spite of the mostly implied male dominance of male characters over female characters, the movie shows a measure of progressive spirit.

The Contractor

Chris Pine broods his way through a rather depressing take on double crossing black ops private military contractor nonsense.

I found it to be quite tense, but pretty workmanlike. Definately worth a watch if you have a spare evening, and are on an upward mental mood

Collossal

Time for a light-hearted Rom-Com with Anne Hathaway and Jason Sudeikas (sp) where a party-girl from NYC returns to her hometown roots and reconnects with an old classmate. Throw in some magical realism where she is somehow connected with a giant Kaiju in Seoul SK.

If you were expecting some light fare with a magical realism twist.... well, you are in for something much, much darker. This is really a movie about addiction, obsession, domestic violence, and control.

It is not nearly as fun as the premise or cast would have you believe. It gets dark fast, and ends still kinda' dark.

If you wanted to have a nice little date-night with the missus with a Rom-Com Kaiju movie, please look elsewhere. This is not the movie you are looking for. If you are looking for an exploration of the darkness found in suburban communities, than you are on the right track.