3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
You know when you play too much 40K when....
1. You injure yourself and roll a dice to see if you make a save
2. When going out you check to see what wargear your allowed to carry
3. You start hanging around in groups of ten friends and refuse to move further than 2" away from them
4. Your idea of "popping down for a pint of milk" involves deepstriking through the ceiling of your local shop
5. You give thought to arriving to work in a giant Monolith or a Land Raider and "pawning" your collegues
6. You really want a sticker that says "My other car is a Battle Barge" in your rear window
7. You use the word smite more often than necessary
8. You try to convince people to do what you want, saying "It's for the greater good"
9. You think Slanessh is misunderstood
10. You ask your boss to get you a "Golden Throne"
Keep em goin 
7458
Post by: Pyromaniac
when your immediate reaction when picking up small objects is to shake them in your hand then roll them on the table
7209
Post by: Nofasse 'Eadhunta
When you ask your local psychic what powers she took
6292
Post by: Valhallan42nd
1. You shake your head at the current cost of promethium at BP.
2. You look at pedestrians in your way while going to work and think "tank shock".
3. This seems like a justifiable purchase:
8551
Post by: captain.gordino
You look at riot police and think, "carapace armour."
7478
Post by: Eldramesha
You refer to classic american gas-guzzlers as "Pre-Heresy"
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
You spend idle moments on the can thinking about whether or not a chainsword would actually work, which always ends with 'Who cares, it's a chainsword!'
8152
Post by: The Defenestrator
you start to think the Eldar might have been on to something near the end there.
you have to consciously refrain from referring to your father as 'Papa Nurgle'.
you feel the need to consider your own statline, then mathhammer yourself against various 40k opponents.
you secretly hope and pray your country becomes/rejoins an Empire, solely for the purpose of bringing phrases such as "In the Emperor's Name!" into vogue.
8049
Post by: ArbitorIan
you spend all your working day on dakka reading topics like this
7209
Post by: Nofasse 'Eadhunta
When you see a magician and think he's a Chaos Sorcerer
When you stay as far away as you can from librarians as you can
When you see a transport truck and wonder what its front armor is
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
27. You start to believe your boss has become possessed by a daemon and plan to oust him/her
28. You want to drive a Predator Destructor down the High Street
29. You Want to crush some cars whilst doing the above
7209
Post by: Nofasse 'Eadhunta
30. When you see people who have survived cancer and think "They must have prayed to Nurgle"
31. When you get slugged and say "I have a 1+ Invulnerable save, I felt nothing from that"
32. You try incorporating 40k into the Star Wars RP game, in which case you have been playing too much of both.
6838
Post by: 1hadhq
33. change your environment (garden,backyard,house) for a better cover save.
34. ask your sarge to exchange your ak47/M16/G36 with a boltgun.
8788
Post by: krusty
35. you understand, and are laughing at, all of the above...
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
36. You have at least three different generations of citadel paint pots (and it's still good!).
37. When you silently try to Mind War with people, and having failed, you shout, "Yeah? Well now you're DOOMED!!!".
38. That 'psychadelic Eldar Dance party' thread.
39. You carry around a flask of 'caffiene' (40% coffee, 40% water, 40% dirt) and all of Dan Abnett's books are in one folder on your netbook.
6606
Post by: Seamus O'Shank
1hadhq wrote:33. change your environment (garden,backyard,house) for a better cover save.
34. ask your sarge to exchange your ak47/M16/G36 with a boltgun.
Nice!
...
...
I gotta go rearrange my furniture...
8788
Post by: krusty
40. when reading//watching about the recent pirate-take over of the ship carrying tanks and ammunition,
you were secretly hoping they were rhinos, land raiders, and hellfire rounds...
Seamus O'Shank wrote:
Nice!
...
...
I gotta go rearrange my furniture...
im all set already...
desk area protected by intervening couch and recliner obscure>50%...
4+?
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you call an intimate moment with your partner "the Assault Phase"
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
Arctik_Firangi wrote:36. You have at least three different generations of citadel paint pots (and it's still good!).
37. When you silently try to Mind War with people, and having failed, you shout, "Yeah? Well now you're DOOMED!!!".
38. That 'psychadelic Eldar Dance party' thread.
39. You carry around a flask of 'caffiene' (40% coffee, 40% water, 40% dirt) and all of Dan Abnett's books are in one folder on your netbook.
I have two of the old octagonal paint pots, one of which has the price sticker still on it. $1.36!?!
7161
Post by: Necroagogo
Reaper6 wrote:When you call an intimate moment with your partner "the Assault Phase"
Is that followed by a pile-in move?
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Only if her sister is visiting and they fail a Ld test  
8506
Post by: Shrike78
40. When painting your house/interior, you apply a basecoat, then drybrush, then highlight
41. you play warhammer 40k
42. you say feth and/or gak on a regular basis
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
43. You know what dakka dakka means
44. After giving yourself stats and mathhammering yourself, you mathhammer your friends too (from "The Defenestrator")
45. You have read this thread and want it to come true http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/219374.page
46. Everytime a new codex is release you sit in a dark corner and laugh manically or giggle like a girl as you consider the possibilities
47. You spend far too long on deciding names for your charactors, way too long!
Necroagogo wrote:Reaper6 wrote:When you call an intimate moment with your partner "the Assault Phase"
Is that followed by a pile-in move?
That brings a whole new meaning to the term "Hit and Run"
7458
Post by: Pyromaniac
48 you scream in a crazed rage when your meal includes Corn
5435
Post by: extrenm(54)
49. You constantly mumble 40k quotes under your breath
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
50.
hellsguardian316 wrote:
Necroagogo wrote:
Reaper6 wrote:When you call an intimate moment with your partner "the Assault Phase"
Is that followed by a pile-in move?
That brings a whole new meaning to the term "Hit and Run"
Can that be following a deep strike, or do you have to wait until the next round?
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
extrenm(54) wrote:49. You constantly mumble 40k quotes under your breath
I resemble that remark! Actually I sometimes reply to unprovoked attentions of strangers with "Blood for the blood god!" or "Only the insane have the strength to prosper, only those who prosper judge what is sane." They immediately turn and go the other way...
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
Arctik_Firangi wrote:50.
hellsguardian316 wrote:
Necroagogo wrote:
Reaper6 wrote:When you call an intimate moment with your partner "the Assault Phase"
Is that followed by a pile-in move?
That brings a whole new meaning to the term "Hit and Run"
Can that be following a deep strike, or do you have to wait until the next round?
Arrg! What have I done, stop it with all the sexual Ineudeno's.... hmmm .... In your end oh? Grr Now I'm doing it!
50. The only reason you collect orks is because you have tons of spare bits from all your other armies you want to get rid of (whistles monarchly  )
51. You use offical 40K terms for crude humour ... ... thats right, I'm looking at you
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
52. when you yell waaaagh when someone mentions war
53. when you start reffering to other countries as "da other gits"
54. when you speed and tell the copper that red can go faster legally
8375
Post by: Reaper6
55. When you see footage of the war in the Afghan mountains and think... Deathwing, 24 Hours, Job DONE !
56. When your next thought is... Telion, 48 Hours, Job done TIDILY AND QUIETLY 
9306
Post by: Amen Brick
57: You don't go to the dentist because you fear Nurgle contamination.
58: You ask the Rail/bus/airline Company if they have a Drop Pod Option.
59: You roll scatter dice when enter a car park.
60: You complain about rations at lunchtime.
70: You surround your office space with sandbags, just in case.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
71. You find yourself wondering why there isn't an Academy Award for Most Kill Points in an Action Movie.
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
72. when you see medical shows and think that a few stapples and 'urty inges will fix it for a few of their teeth
7209
Post by: Nofasse 'Eadhunta
73. When you watch competitive diving you hope that the divers will scatter onto the floor.
74. You wonder which template a U.S. Army tank uses for it's main weapon.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
75. When the news is showing archive footage of a seal being clubbed, and all you can think is "Thunder Hammer Test Video "
8506
Post by: Shrike78
76. When at work, you idly scope out the cubicles, drwing out LOS, range increments, and so forth.
77. When you tell jokes about how many inquisitors it takes to screw in a light bulb...
the answer is 3, one to screw it in, one to brand it as heresy, and one to deny its existence... I've had people (notice, people is plural) tell me this joke... It's not even that funny!!!, argh.. I'm gonna go bang my head against a wall.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
78. When you blind your boss with a laser whilst figuring out True Line of Sight
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
79. when you here all this stuff about transport and global warming and you start thinking the webway.
80. when they talk about living on mars and you think massive titians and baneblades rolling out of it.
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
81. When you see HUVVEE's in the middle east and think AV 10, a pistol can send that sky high
8788
Post by: krusty
82. you are this guy:
1
8506
Post by: Shrike78
Dude, if I could get one of those... I would so wear it to job interviews.
"So... Mr. Moore... why should we hire you?"
"Because I'm in power armor."
"'nuff said"
7478
Post by: Eldramesha
82. You wonder what the AP value of Depleted Uranium is
83. You try to calculate how many megatons (probably teratons in this case) a Cyclonic Torpedo is
84. You try and figure out the exact weight and mass of a Space Marine in full armor.
85. You attempt to determine what the real world equivalent of Ceramite is. (it's not how hard the armor is, it's how well it keeps the occupant free of chunky salsa syndrome aka impact shock)
8895
Post by: KoreSiege
Nofasse 'Eadhunta wrote:32. You try incorporating 40k into the Star Wars RP game, in which case you have been playing too much of both.
guilty as charged...
86. really not thinking the above is a bad thing at all, star wars needed more chain swords any way light sabers are so clean and they just dont give you the right Ump (or blood splatter)
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
Squig_herder wrote:72. when you see medical shows and think that a few stapples and 'urty inges will fix it for a few of their teeth
Naah, 'Umie teef aint worf nuffink!
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
87. When you have two imperial guard armies....
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
88. When you start calling friends with non-imperial armies Traitor Scum and Xenos Scum.
89. When you finally realize that they actually are Traitor and Xenos Scum.
90. When you have to explain to the Police why the mangled bodies of green skinned ex-friends are being burned on the front lawn.
91. When the police ask you about the mutated bodies hanging from the lightposts that you keep refering to as 'Traitors of the Immortal Emperor of Mankind."
92. When you realize that the local arbites have been infiltrated by vile heretics and you shout, "FOR THE SPASE EMPEROR! HURR!!" and attack the police officers.
93. When you end up in jail, all because of you zealous devotion to the Emperor of Mankind.
94. When you pray to the Emperor of mankind while you are imprisoned.
95. when you end a list with a phrase like: "All hail the Immortal Spase Emperor of Mankind! Hurr!"
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
96. If you and your friends try to win arguements by exclaiming "Oi! I'z da biggest AND da strongest"
97. If these arguements never actually are settled based on who is both the biggest and the strongest.
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
98. You are posting in forums when you should be in bed...
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
99. You do these just to jack up your ranking
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
100. You add just one more, just to be the one who did the hundredth.
Woo hoo!
All hail the immortal space Emperor of Mankind!
116
Post by: Waaagh_Gonads
101.
You are posting over 250 times per week on a 40k forum... 
9237
Post by: Regantor
102. If you have actually tried figuring out the "Sign of the Aquilla", so you can use it on a regular basis.
103. You can't watch horror movies without automatically figuring out which chaos god the bad guy belongs to.
HOLY F*** IT'S TZENNTCH!
8788
Post by: krusty
ahahaha
Up from the depths
Thirty stories high
Breathing fire
His head in the sky
Nidzilla!
Nidzilla!
Nidzilla!
8411
Post by: asugradinwa
You know you've played too much when you are playing hide and go seek and throw a couple gernades into the trees.
8411
Post by: asugradinwa
You know you've played too much when you are on a battlefield. Move towards the ememy, try and shoot at him, then wait right there while he moves towards you, then shoots at you.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
107. When you paint red "go fasta" stripes on your Granny's wheelchair and convert her walking stick into a Bosspole to go on the back.
116
Post by: Waaagh_Gonads
108. At the start of the assault phase you declare that it is 'Declaration of insults' and start insulting the combat abilities of your opponent's army.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
109. You roll for scatter whilst sitting on the toilet.
110. You send your kids trick or treating dressed as Grots, and tell them to "use da 'amma instead of knockin', so the 'umies inside will 'ear you betta." 
9217
Post by: KingCracker
111. you take a leadership test right before getting married
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
Reaper6 wrote:107. When you paint red "go fasta" stripes on your Granny's wheelchair and convert her walking stick into a Bosspole to go on the back.
Done.
GRANNY ON SCOOTER 18 pts/model
WS 2 / BS 3 /S 2(4) / T 2(3) / W 1 / I 2 / A 1 / Ld 10 / Sv 5+ -
Unit Type: Bike Wargear: Bosspole, Power Klaw, Pacemaker (Bionics)
Special Rules:
0.5 Horsepower: If Granny has been moving 12" in a straight line for two consecutive turns, she has the 'Furious Charge' special rule. Granny's scooter always moves at least one inch through difficult/dangerous terrain, instead of being removed as a caualty.
Senile: Roll a D6 before any movement or assault phase in which you intend to move Granny. On a 2+ she acts normally; on a 1 she begins to rant and rave in a distubing fashion. Granny will not move when Ranting and Raving, unless she moved 12" in a straight line last round, in which case she will automatically move forward another 12". If this brings Granny into contact with an opponent's model, consider Granny to have charged.
1
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Fair enough, Arctik_Firangi, but that just leads to...
112. you mathhammer Granny's chair vs Landraider Crusader...
... and Granny WINS !
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
That'd be the day.
113. Bolt Thrower (the band)
114. You've painted a spare Empire Handgunner in a delicate pink, with fine detail, yellow hat, a green feather, and a big golden handgun just for the hell of it.
115. A paint-encusted coffee-cup and a little dish with sand and rocks in it are permanent features on your home office desk.
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
LOL granny is an awsome hq choice, but what about grand pa?
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
116: You have the acoustic version of Debauchery's 'Blood for the Blood God' in the YouTube subfolder of your favorite websites.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Squig_herder wrote:LOL granny is an awsome hq choice, but what about grand pa?
Chaplain Granpa:
Terminal Armour
Crozeus ARCHAIC (Walking Stick)
Master Crafted Zimmer Frame
Bike replaced with Turbo Charged Shopping Cart
HUMBUG Grenades.
8576
Post by: Psyker_9er
117: You start collecting your vomit, scabs, feces, finger and toenails so you can try to build an army from your own bio-mass.
118: You start saying things like "By the Emperor’s Tooth Brush", "Great Empire’s Cod Piece" and demand that you are the finest warrior of the Emperor’s Pointy Sticks
119: Instead of working, you surf through DakkaDakka cause its the only website not blocked by your companies anti-fun firewalls.
120: You start to wonder how much sexier your girlfriend/wife would look if she died her hair solid black or white, carried a heavy flamer, wore coarsest decorated in skulls with heavily armored shoulder pads, and tried to purge you...purge you real hard
8375
Post by: Reaper6
121. You scream " NURGLING ! Death to the unclean !" and attack the spotty guy at work with your stapler.
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
122. when you start assigning races to countries and debate with a friend out lound about them in a public place
123. when you hide behind people in a public place, and when they ask you what you are doing you say "you'll give me a 4+ cover save if im shot at"
124. when you get road rage and think of ramming and the ramshackle result on the ork damage table
9345
Post by: Lukus83
125. you constantly think about which places at work would provide the best cover if under attack by a 'nid 'fex...then remember its ok, thats not a fair points cost so you give yourself termie armour, a lascannon, and assault cannon. Then you remember to get back to work, but the next day....
oops, sorry bout that, only read to the bottom of the first page
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Lukus83 wrote:57. you constantly think about which places at work would provide the best cover if under attack by a 'nid 'fex...then remember its ok, thats not a fair points cost so you give yourself termie armour, a lascannon, and assault cannon. Then you remember to get back to work, but the next day....
57 ? Last time I looked, we were up to 124 !
8506
Post by: Shrike78
58. You've re-played all of the famous romances, revnege stories, etc, replacing the main characters with characters from 40k
Count de monte cristo?
played by Inquisitor Eisenhorn
Romeo and juliet?
All the main characters are primarchs... yes even juliet.
#1. you've made pancakes in the shapes of spase marinez
8788
Post by: krusty
128?. there is a stack of codices, army books, and rulebooks next to your toilet...
as well as some pots of paint and a few brushes
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
130. Ramming your wife's car is an issue.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
131. you spend all night converting your lawnmower into a working Deffkopta
7928
Post by: bryantsbears
132. When you think that "Corn for the Corn God, Husks for the Husk Throne" is a humorous statement.
133. You call AT-STs "sentinels."
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
134. when you have over 4000 Imperial Guard models, have been playing since RT, and still don't have enough models!.....Guilty! "Once more into the breach!"
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
135. when you think of children as snotlings and want to shoot them at people
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
136. when you bid higher on ebay than the piece is worth, just to beat other people in your wargaming club! (even if you don't play that race)
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
Kung Fu Jim wrote:136. when you bid higher on ebay than the piece is worth, just to beat other people in your wargaming club! (even if you don't play that race)
Guilty
7876
Post by: Gazzdag
Regantor wrote:102. If you have actually tried figuring out the "Sign of the Aquilla", so you can use it on a regular basis.
130ish. You have figured out the "Sign of the Aquila" and actually use it on a regular basis.
130ish+1. Whenever you have a disagreement with your friends you loudly scream HERESY!!! and demand they be purged in the name of the immortal emperor.
(guilty of both)
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
132. When you spend an hour of your life going through every single post in this Topic
And laugh at every single one.
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
133. When you attempt to 'mastercraft' your airsoft guns
134. When you paintball with plasma weaponry.
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
135. If you know the names of every single last chancer and can associate each name with the correct miniature.
haha
136. You make up stories about your miniatures.
137. You are constantly thinking of ways for your plastic miniatures to kill the armies of your friend's plastic minis
138. You don't tell your friends about supercool rules that your plastic minis have till the last moment.
139. Your friend gets mad and stabs you with an exacto knife.
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
140. The location that you have listed on this website is in fact, a fictional world in a fictional universe.
141. you are not ashamed of being from said fictional place
142. You are a Drop Trooper with a Demo Charge and proud of it!
5526
Post by: CplPunishment
143. You sculpted kilts, wraps, sporrans, and glengarry caps onto an entire army of plastic soldiers.
514
Post by: Orlanth
144. You wonder why the government is too cheap to give all marine sergeants power fists as standard.
9362
Post by: oDESGOSTO
145. Since you can't wear Power Armour in public, you go for these:
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Orlanth wrote:144. You wonder why the government is too cheap to give all marine sergeants power fists as standard.
... or at least a half decent Chainsword !
6838
Post by: 1hadhq
146. -you find a reprint of the "hammer of the witches" (aka Hexenhammer) in a bookstore and ask for more inquisitorial stuff.
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
147. You let 'the other guy' do your workorders becuae you need to do some 'painting'.
Incidentally, the dude I work with also plays 40K.
148. You try to pay your bills every month.
149. You have a very, very large dice collection. You try to blame twelve years of AD&D but know that half of them are Citadel D6's.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
oDESGOSTO wrote:145. Since you can't wear Power Armour in public, you go for these:
Why can't I wear power armor in public?! 
9362
Post by: oDESGOSTO
Try to take a bus or a subway in Power Armour!!!
Besides that... everyone would know that you're a Space Marine...
9441
Post by: EarlyEscaper
you look at 'modern' weapons and think, a bolter would be so much better
you look at everyday objects and think, what would a bolter do to that?
you get into a fight and demand that you have force weapons and should get an instant kill roll
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
oDESGOSTO wrote:Try to take a bus or a subway in Power Armour!!!
Besides that... everyone would know that you're a Space Marine...
Try ork mega-armour, it only weights about a ton or 2 and is "masta crafted"
148. when boeing talk about laser weapons for the military and you think that they have blue skinned scientists with goat feet working for them
149. When you wonder if you can make co-workers do the burny dance
150. when you think that teaching children involves hitting them with an iron gob or large hard boss pole
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
151. You play paintball dressed in the afore mention Power Armour and when questioned you make quotation gestures saying "its more realistic this way"
152. You get shot at above mentioned Paintball match and claim to have a 4+ inv save against it.
153. Your heavily out numbered and need to withdraw from the paintball match and think "And they shall know no fear?? screw that! I'm off!"
154. You want to field some female 40K models as "counts as" models but because you want something pretty to look at whilst playing.
9387
Post by: grotkilla
You refer to your children as "snotlings."
Your second child's nickname is "Bitz" and it's spelled with a z, not an s. And your wife does it as well.
You have more Chinese soup container Drop Pods then you'll ever actually use in a game.
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
158. You feel that anyone that doesn't agree with you should be shot in the head for disobeying an order.
159. You can't skip work or else your co-workers think you are having a game without them.
160. Your whole Dept. is out sick because of the new Army release.
7209
Post by: Nofasse 'Eadhunta
161. When in church, you refer to God as the 'God-Emperor'
162. You call a WAAAGH! during a marathon.
163. You considered joining the Greater Good.
164. You wonder if the internet is, in reality, the Webway.
7585
Post by: Shadow Nugz
165. You play Halo 3 and as someone is going to get killed you scream "Hit them with the thunder hammer!!!"
166. You play Call of Duty 4 campaign and refer to the 25mm chaingun as an assault cannon.
167. You have figured out that a Ditch Witch trenching tool is pretty much a small titan weapon.
168. You are pretty sure you almost have the lasgun designs done.
169. You no longer consider the possibility of a bolter impossible.
170. You have quoted Ayatani Zwiel to your minister.
171. Dan Abnett is your favorite author... except for George Orwell.
172. You have threatened someone who has no idea what WH40K is with an Exterminatus.
173. You come up with 8 of these things.
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
174: You come across one of these and ask a store employee how many teef to bolt in onto your arm.
1
8021
Post by: JD21290
warp, i got no idea what that is, but how much is it worth for me to buy one and make a vid as i chase someone down the road with it shouting Waaaagh!!!
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
175. You pull one of those apart, and make it bigger and choppier, and then attach it to your warboss model.
"Every Warboss I build has to be bigger than the last."
9497
Post by: lordofthedead
176. you try to convert the stats for starwars characters, then mathhammer them extensively.
Darth Vader WS 5 BS 5 T 5 S 5 I 4 W 4 A 3 LD 10
8551
Post by: captain.gordino
177. You drive about fifty feet and then wait while the guys coming the other way drive toward you.
178. You walk to within eight feet of any of your car doors and then look confused.
179. You ask a car salesman about sponson upgrades.
180. You also tell him you're willing to spend the extra points to get a vehicle piloted by a machine spirit.
181. There is no 181. Let's move on to 182.
182. You ditch your girlfriend and try to explain that her upgrades aren't good enough for their points cost.
183. You see an Airbus A380 and think "that's gotta be FW."
184. You refer to apartment buildings as hives.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
185. You have run Warhammer games in more than 1 edition of D&D
186. You have run Warhammer games in multiple systems outside of D&D
187. You find yourself fantasizing about the time when the droppods will begin raining down, and drool as you realize the power you will be able to obtain as an ambassador to the giant men in armor that you have inexplicable knowledge of.
188. you have had above fantasies at the expense of any college,or high school test.
189. You have decided that you are just way to tired of catachans trying to be all cool with their running posses, and have decided to take them down a peg by giving them all headphones, and other such devices. (oh sooo guilty)
190. You have figured out just which group of soccer hooligans orks are based on.
191. The eagle tattooed to your forehead draws lots of attention.
192. You have painted your toilet gold. And pretend you are the emperor whenever you go to the crapper.
9364
Post by: TroytheFox
extrenm(54) wrote:49. You constantly mumble 40k quotes under your breath
Holy Hell, I do that!
I even remember some of the cool ones from Dawn of War.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
TroytheFox wrote:extrenm(54) wrote:49. You constantly mumble 40k quotes under your breath
Holy Hell, I do that!
I even remember some of the cool ones from Dawn of War.
There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.
He who stands with me shall be my mother...
# whatever we're on: you got the above joke
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
193. when you see missile tests on the TV and wonder why they havent told us they are psy-out warheads
194. when you try and explain to your boss that "im the biggest, so by rights im the boss"
195. when you think that after failed explaining that you should settle it with a large bosspole or iron gob inprint into the head of the individual
196. when you go to a gun store and ask to see the latest in lasgun technology
197. when you wish you could geneticly engineer your dog to look like a squig
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
198. You use boxes of soldiers as freeweights, instead of going to the gym.
199. You lose weight because new models are more important than food.
200. Your neighbors call the ATF because you declare "One more missile launcher and I will rule the galaxy." 
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
201. You lose your job and your girlfriend on the same day because of a game of 40k. (sorry Matt)
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
Kung Fu Jim wrote:201. You lose your job and your girlfriend on the same day because of a game of 40k. (sorry Matt)
But did he win?
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
Nope, three times a loser.
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
202. If you melt down all your models, you can make one life sized Dreadnought.
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
203. You insist on panting an elephant red or green, and attaching many guns and grots [children] to ride to war
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
The Alligator Lopper is a combination of shears and chainsaw, usable in the cutting down of smallish trees. I saw one on the cover of popular mechanics a few years ago and it was the closest to sexual lust I've ever felt for a machine since the first time I saw a cinematic for a mechwarrior PC game. Its only downside it that it is electric, and probably would not be loud enough for actual Ork purposes.
8141
Post by: SonsOfLoki
204. Your a member of dakkadakka forums
205. you create excessively large titans to win Apocalypse games because your to bad at the game to use troops
206. you have a VERY cool name for the legion/chapter/hive fleet/etc... you collect.
207. your description is spawn of chaos
6576
Post by: StrikerFox
As your driving down the street, you wonder how to calculate the Ramming rules against an oncoming truck..
You refer to your cat as a "Monstrous Creature"..
You paint your car Space Wolves Grey..
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
211. when your asked to mix paint and you ask wheres the mixing pot
116
Post by: Waaagh_Gonads
212. You once blocked twice your height, but now people behind you are hit cleanly half the time...
9193
Post by: RapidKiller
213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
8501
Post by: Nuclear Mekanik
213. Whilst repainting your real life Land Rover, you consider how best to use drybrushing and highlighting techniques
214. You drybrushed and highlighted your first car
215. You get down to board level and give your mini's a pre-battle Pep talk before every fight.
216. You have a tear in your eye before sending your Orks marching across the table to face an army of Deathwing Terminators as you know that most of your boys aren't coming back. 
217. You're out with your girlfriend and secretly wish you could go home and get on with painting your Lootas, or she'd stop paying attention long ennough for you to pull out your Codex and Rulebook from your bag and finish that super killy armylist you started putting together last night.
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
8506
Post by: Shrike78
warpcrafter wrote:RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
guilty
8375
Post by: Reaper6
218. bragging about your victories in forums leads to an arrest by the FBI on charges of Genocide.
219. you create an alcoholic drink, name it Melta Bomb and successfully get some company to market it.
220. after a year of sales, you are again arrested for attempted Genocide due to exothermic nature of binge drinking Melta Bombs
9497
Post by: lordofthedead
221. you smash your toaster, microwave, and/or blender thinking it wants to feed you the the to gods.
222. then give it/them a WBB roll
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
223. You tie down your girlfriend and surround her with Chaos Space Marines models, then tell her "She is a sacrafice to the Blood God!"
224. She agrees to it!
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
225. You wear bifocals because painting IG has strained your eyesite.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
... getting there
8576
Post by: Psyker_9er
226: your wife claims that your children are getting to violent and does not want you to play so many war games with them any more because she is tired of trying to explain the black eyes to every one.
"But they are just games"
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
227. You attend 40KA once a week...Hi, my name is ___ and I have an addiction...
228. You vacation only in cities with a GW store.
229. You know the current exchange rate of foreign nations, because you order so much ForgeWorld.
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
guilty
Details please! Unless that would end up with the authorities kicking your door down. (Of course, with a boltgun, that might not be a serious consideration.) 
7876
Post by: Gazzdag
230. When you learn it's your girlfriend's 'time of the month' you answer with
a) Khorne does not care from where the blood flows, as long as it does
or b)BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
8506
Post by: Shrike78
warpcrafter wrote:Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
guilty
Details please! Unless that would end up with the authorities kicking your door down. (Of course, with a boltgun, that might not be a serious consideration.)
Well, my physics class started to make really powerful CO2 powered potato launchers. One thing led to another and now we have a distinctly bolter shaped spud gun that launches these brown projectiles at well over 120mph.
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
Gazzdag wrote:230. When you learn it's your girlfriend's 'time of the month' you answer with
a) Khorne does not care from where the blood flows, as long as it does
or b)BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
I should be able to use this in a few days... cheers!
9497
Post by: lordofthedead
Arctik_Firangi wrote:Gazzdag wrote:230. When you learn it's your girlfriend's 'time of the month' you answer with
a) Khorne does not care from where the blood flows, as long as it does
or b)BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
I should be able to use this in a few days... cheers!
If your going to use that be very careful, ecspecially at that time of month. Make sure she has a good sense of humor.
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
231. You are looking forward to 6th edition!
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
guilty
Details please! Unless that would end up with the authorities kicking your door down. (Of course, with a boltgun, that might not be a serious consideration.)
Well, my physics class started to make really powerful CO2 powered potato launchers. One thing led to another and now we have a distinctly bolter shaped spud gun that launches these brown projectiles at well over 120mph.
I consider myself to have been gotten, and good. Talk about a nerfed boltgun!
7209
Post by: Nofasse 'Eadhunta
Statistics for the Potato Bolter:
Potato Bolter: Strength/- AP/- Rapid Fire, Potatoes*
Potatoes: This bolter is unique in that it fire potatoes instead of bolter rounds. These potatoes are lethal in the way that they provide a means of distraction for hungry units (such as Tyranids or Kroot). These potatoes do absolutely nothing on the terms of actually killing targets; to represent this, do not roll to wound when hits are scored with these weapons.
232. You just wrote the stats for the Potato Bolter
116
Post by: Waaagh_Gonads
233. You spend your days at the painting table in the local store and the parents buying stuff in the store think you are one of the staff.
9497
Post by: lordofthedead
Kung Fu Jim wrote:231. You are looking forward to 6th edition!
guilty
8506
Post by: Shrike78
warpcrafter wrote:Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
guilty
Details please! Unless that would end up with the authorities kicking your door down. (Of course, with a boltgun, that might not be a serious consideration.)
Well, my physics class started to make really powerful CO2 powered potato launchers. One thing led to another and now we have a distinctly bolter shaped spud gun that launches these brown projectiles at well over 120mph.
I consider myself to have been gotten, and good. Talk about a nerfed boltgun!
Have you ever seen something hit by a potato going about 150 mph?
The potato is gone, but we found out the hard way that some of the pillars at our school are hollow 
8506
Post by: Shrike78
Nofasse 'Eadhunta wrote:Statistics for the Potato Bolter:
Potato Bolter: Strength/- AP/- Rapid Fire, Potatoes* pinning
Potatoes: This bolter is unique in that it fire potatoes instead of bolter rounds. These potatoes are lethal in the way that they provide a means of distraction for hungry units (such as Tyranids or Kroot). These potatoes do absolutely nothing on the terms of actually killing targets; to represent this, do not roll to wound when hits are scored with these weapons.
232. You just wrote the stats for the Potato Bolter
In addition, because no one expects to be assaulted by vegetables, whenever the potato bolter hits a unit, they must take a leadership test or be utterly bewildered as to who is firing potatoes at them. They count as being pinned.
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
234: Spuds for the Spud God... Beer batter... Throne... Ah, forget it.
9441
Post by: EarlyEscaper
"187. You find yourself fantasizing about the time when the droppods will begin raining down, and drool as you realize the power you will be able to obtain as an ambassador to the giant men in armor that you have inexplicable knowledge of.
188. you have had above fantasies at the expense of any college,or high school test. "
oh man am i guilty 
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
235. When you suggest to the army to konvert a bazooka to a grotzooka
236. When you attach chains with hooks to your bike, hoping to snag some slaves
6274
Post by: porkuslime
237. When you toss 3 pennies onto the nightstand as you are getting ready for bed.. and then freak out and cannot get in bed cause the pennies formed the Mark of Nurgle..
-Porkuslime
6853
Post by: Phillycheese
When you look at(insert game of choice here) players with pity for choosing such a lowly game, while you roll dice so you can pretend that little toy soldiers can go "Bang-Bang!!"
8506
Post by: Shrike78
Phillycheese wrote:When you look at(insert game of choice here) players with pity for choosing such a lowly game, while you roll dice so you can pretend that little toy soldiers can go "Bang-Bang!!"
When you additionally play (insert game of choice here)
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Waaagh_Gonads wrote:233. You spend your days at the painting table in the local store and the parents buying stuff in the store think you are one of the staff.
Guilty as hell on that one. I've been going there so long I've outlasted most of the staff and gone through THREE managers ! 
8229
Post by: Xav
when you refer to people cheating on each other as heresy!
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
214. When you teach your kids, kids to play...!!!???
8506
Post by: Shrike78
215. When you teach other people's kids to play instead of tutoring them like you should be doing.
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
shame, shame  ...unless you are teaching them to play Guard
8021
Post by: JD21290
234: Spuds for the Spud God... Beer batter... Throne... Ah, forget it.
since im scratch building nurgle daemon snow im tempted to make this "spud god" allthough his daemon name is "walkers"
9497
Post by: lordofthedead
216: you have an entire space marine chapter.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
lordofthedead wrote:216: you have an entire space marine chapter.
Easy if your the crimson fists.
"here's my space marine chapter!" the boy says proudly displaying his 5 squads.
"You have 5 squads" says the ornery GW representative
"But I play crimson fists!" the boy says proudly, pointing to his army that looks like a bunch of weightlifters at a spider man cosplay convention
"..." says the GW representative as he walks away, crying as he imagines falling stock numbers.
494
Post by: H.B.M.C.
1. When you own so much stuff that you lose something and begin to question weather you even bought it in the first place.
2. When you buy a Land Raider by accident.
Both of those are true. Yes, I did buy a Land Raider by accident.
BYE
7413
Post by: Squig_herder
3. when you walk into GW and walk out with two bags full when you only wanted to ask a rules question or try and get some goss.
4. when you wait for your GW store to open on a saturday or free day so you can buy and paint something when you are meant to be with your girlfriend [guilting and feeling really guilty]
9538
Post by: The Thousandth Son
When you think your acne makes you a Plague Marine.
When you apply lyrics to 40k armies (I have done this).
When you think the government is going to send wolves to destroy your home (I.E Space Wolves attack on Prospero).
When you post in this topic.
Yeah I'm not too good at this.
9209
Post by: commando charlie
5.when you start to love ultramarines.(guilty and true)
6. when you start dreaming when gw does a half price sale.
(guilty and true)
9538
Post by: The Thousandth Son
When you refer to the Taliban as the Alpha Legion.
When you develope a fear of refrigerators because there might be an ork inside.
When you refer to your lawnmower as a wartrakk.
When you refer to WWI as the First War of Armageddon.
When you confuse Ghengis Khan with Huron Blackheart.
When you blame Ordo Hereticus for the Salem Witch Trials.
When debate for hours whether the Tau and the Imperial Guard are cooler in a Barnse and Nobel book store (guilty).
When you refer to Imperium army players as loyalist scum (guilty).
When you debate whether Ahriman or Abaddon is cooler in a B&N book store.
When you wear a suit of Power Armor during a football game (I don't play football but that's something I'm interested in trying).
When you think getting a tattoo will somehow enhance your combat prowess (when I'm old enough I plan to get a Mark of Tzeentch tattooed on my back...quit staring at me like that.).
When you actually get a tattoo like the one I'm describing.
When you advertise a blood drive with the slogan BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
When you think the song I'm Broken by Pantera is about the Emperor.
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
H.B.M.C. wrote:
2. When you buy a Land Raider by accident.
BYE
There was a White Dwarf lying on the counter at flgs today... they scanned it along with what I was buying. Had to drive back when I found it was at the bottom of my bag.
"You know I don't buy this thing, dude. wtf?"
commando charlie wrote:5.when you start to love ultramarines.(guilty and true)
Whoa, dude. Not cool.
The Thousandth Son wrote:
When you refer to the Taliban as the Alpha Legion.
WHOA, dude. NOT COOL!
494
Post by: H.B.M.C.
In my case I added it to a shopping cart to see what difference it would make to the discount (it didn't). I then went about adding things and only realised that I had forgotten to remove the Land Raider after I had paid for everything.
Good thing it was the new Redeemer kit and not a regular Land Raider!!
BYE
9538
Post by: The Thousandth Son
[quote=Arctik_Firangi
The Thousandth Son wrote:
When you refer to the Taliban as the Alpha Legion.
WHOA, dude. NOT COOL!
I'm sorry is it too soon?
9209
Post by: commando charlie
commando charlie wrote:5.when you start to love ultramarines.(guilty and true)
Whoa, dude. Not cool.
lol dont you want to see my pritty little blue smurfs run at you. 
9209
Post by: commando charlie
commando charlie wrote:
commando charlie wrote:5.when you start to love ultramarines.(guilty and true)
Whoa, dude. Not cool.
lol dont you want to see my pritty little blue smurfs run at you.
7. when gw starts sending police after you becasue you start stealing
landraider kits (not true but almost tried it )
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
when the mailman has to claim workers comp, due to lifting all your forgeworld orders.
paps john's calls your gaming clubs order the "Chaos effect"-no really they do! the deluxe with extra peppers, and onions, and don't forget the garlic sauce.
Your Ex has to give YOU, $400 every month to support your gaming lifestyle....(my friend wanted me to put that one in!")
9360
Post by: Midgetsnowman
Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:Shrike78 wrote:warpcrafter wrote:RapidKiller wrote:213. You try to make a boltgun
214. You try to make a boltgun, and it works !?
Wha-Huh!?!
guilty
Details please! Unless that would end up with the authorities kicking your door down. (Of course, with a boltgun, that might not be a serious consideration.)
Well, my physics class started to make really powerful CO2 powered potato launchers. One thing led to another and now we have a distinctly bolter shaped spud gun that launches these brown projectiles at well over 120mph.
I consider myself to have been gotten, and good. Talk about a nerfed boltgun!
Have you ever seen something hit by a potato going about 150 mph?
The potato is gone, but we found out the hard way that some of the pillars at our school are hollow
pretty much anything going at 150 mph is gonna hurt when it hits something. pretty sure that'd severely injure someone, even..
8506
Post by: Shrike78
When we first did the test with the speedometer, we decided that shooting people wasn't a great idea
6887
Post by: Greebynog
~230 - When you try to pay for things with your teeth
231 - You have scars from pointy sticks
232 - None of the stuff in your house works because you've 'looted' the best bitz for conversions
233 - You don't have a lounge, you have a games room
234 - You haven't had sex in years
8506
Post by: Shrike78
Does 234 apply to kids?
If so... then I need to play more 40k!
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
235. When carrying all your miniatures you have some sort of accident or trip and consciously decide to save the minatures over your own personal health despite your full knowledge of how bad the injury will be. (Guilty and took several months for injury to heal lol)
236. When new products (TFT Monitors, large printer cartridges, etc) arrive at your company you dive into the boxes when no one is looking trying to salvage foam and packing material for making warhammer buildings and terrain.
7779
Post by: Attack_Squig
hellsguardian316 wrote:235. When carrying all your miniatures you have some sort of accident or trip and consciously decide to save the minatures over your own personal health despite your full knowledge of how bad the injury will be. (Guilty and took several months for injury to heal lol)
236. When new products (TFT Monitors, large printer cartridges, etc) arrive at your company you dive into the boxes when no one is looking trying to salvage foam and packing material for making warhammer buildings and terrain.
LOL guilty
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
237. You have been doing (236) for so long you no longer have any room for your Non-40K items as its all taken up with foam and other modelling items. And you can't make terrain quick enough.
238. When a model performs particularly well on the battlefield you pick it up and promise to give it a name and/or a field promotion.
239. Your opponent says nothing while you do this as he is just as bad.
9630
Post by: Desert Fox
- You roll a die when walking through 'Difficult terrain'
(^My friend and I did that at Yosemite, epic lulz )
- You yell 'WWWAAAAAAGGHH!' When chainsawing people in Gears of War
- You say 'damnation' a tad bit too often
- You wear glasses (True fact)
- You kneel and put a finger to the side of your head when praying in Church (Been there done that )
7928
Post by: bryantsbears
The Thousandth Son wrote:When you apply lyrics to 40k armies (I have done this).
Guilty. I'm in process of making my own successor chapter to the Manders called the Fire Lances (of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians).
8506
Post by: Shrike78
hellsguardian316 wrote:235. When carrying all your miniatures you have some sort of accident or trip and consciously decide to save the minatures over your own personal health despite your full knowledge of how bad the injury will be. (Guilty and took several months for injury to heal lol)
236. When new products (TFT Monitors, large printer cartridges, etc) arrive at your company you dive into the boxes when no one is looking trying to salvage foam and packing material for making warhammer buildings and terrain.
236b. You go to random stores, asking very confused store clerks for large chunks of styrofoam.
236c. you have done the above so much that all of the workers know you on a first name basis.
6606
Post by: Seamus O'Shank
hellsguardian316 wrote:237. You have been doing (236) for so long you no longer have any room for your Non-40K items as its all taken up with foam and other modelling items. And you can't make terrain quick enough.
238. When a model performs particularly well on the battlefield you pick it up and promise to give it a name and/or a field promotion.
239. Your opponent says nothing while you do this as he is just as bad.
What... people don't normally do this? What?!
I have a couple "characters" for my armies.
3 for Dark Eldar, 3 for Tau.
Seamus O'Shank, my Dark Eldar Archon
Buttons, a DE Scourge that killed two Chaos Termies with his splinter cannon in a game.
Manbutt, a Wych. A male Wych. He's best not talked about...
Two-Gun Jim, a Fire Warrior with two pulse rifles.
Painted Joe, the first Fire Warrior I painted.
Burly Joe Kick-Ass, a Fire Warrior Shas'ui that punched a Daemon Juggernaut to death in CC!
Yeah...
8506
Post by: Shrike78
Whoah!!! did you see that?! I think that was my life flying out the window...
maybe I should get a new one.
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
SHHH! on 236!
I happen to do warranty repairs for a certain extremely large IT company. I get sent a LOT of parts in boxes, which are 50%-90% full of packaging material. Not when they go back though...
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
double post... gah
7632
Post by: Ghost in the Darkness
- You kneel and put a finger to the side of your head when praying in Church (Been there done that )
Why?
7928
Post by: bryantsbears
Seamus O'Shank wrote:hellsguardian316 wrote:237. You have been doing (236) for so long you no longer have any room for your Non-40K items as its all taken up with foam and other modelling items. And you can't make terrain quick enough.
238. When a model performs particularly well on the battlefield you pick it up and promise to give it a name and/or a field promotion.
239. Your opponent says nothing while you do this as he is just as bad.
What... people don't normally do this? What?!
I have a couple "characters" for my armies.
I have:
Captain Joseph Broadway, who allowed me to tie my first game of 40K by hoofing it onto an objective in the last round.
Commisar Bartholomew Stark, who killed a Blood Angels chaplain with a chainsword.
There are people who don't do this? I mean, I could understand necron players. But everyone else? Gotta show some love for your army.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
What about painting kill silohuetts on each of your guys, then painting over them when the model dies?
It's funny to see all of the dread silohuetts on my tank hunters.
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
Note that Waaagh granny had kill silohuettes on her scooter.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
noted
9631
Post by: Sicarius
240. You turn your cubicle at work into a Drop Pod, and wish you could Deep Strike back home
241. You put your boss into a stasis field.
242. You check under your bed each night, just incase the Nightbringer happens to be under there.
243. You constantly refer to the local butcher as 'The Aspiring Champion of Khorne.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
244. You realize that this forum is not actually on 244, after having counted every single post.
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
245. You count all the posts just to check if 244 is right
8901
Post by: Skurk3n
246. when you sleep with ure codex and rulebook next to ure pillow (guilty)
8506
Post by: Shrike78
246b. you sleep with your book under your pillow so that in the night you are the subject of a tactical epiphany (woot! spelled that right on the fsirt trie !).
246c. Your plan somewhat backfires. Though you are now a tactical genius, you now spend your time prosecuting your campaign against the heretics on earth.
246d. you are prosecuted for prosecuting your campaign against the "heretics"
246e. the rest of your life is spent praying to the emperor
246f. A slice of bacon
246g. All of the above
8506
Post by: Shrike78
247
Lemon Curry?
8320
Post by: EmperorsGrandson
248. When asked to jokingly paint your girlfriends toenails, you paint a khorne symbol on all the toes of one foot. (bonus points: never asked to do it again)
9631
Post by: Sicarius
Hehe, 146a-f Guilty
8506
Post by: Shrike78
EmperorsGrandson wrote:248. When asked to jokingly paint your girlfriends toenails, you paint a khorne symbol on all the toes of one foot. (bonus points: never asked to do it again)
man for my girlfriends toenails, its  or nothing
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
Your box of bitz is larger than your opponents battleforce.
You have RT models that you don't know what they are, but you know they are cool.
You have a 100 piece Escher Gang. (guilty pleasure)
You once played Squats...proudly!
8895
Post by: KoreSiege
you are in anthropology 101 and consider doing a report on Orks.
you realize you spent all of class thinking about, ork society and you dont feel guilty at all.
begain writing said paper only to realize that you cant acctually turn it in.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
KoreSiege wrote:you are in anthropology 101 and consider doing a report on Orks.
you realize you spent all of class thinking about, ork society and you dont feel guilty at all.
begain writing said paper only to realize that you cant acctually turn it in.
My parents are anthro professors... And they dig the fluff of 40k
9630
Post by: Desert Fox
Ghost in the Darkness wrote:- You kneel and put a finger to the side of your head when praying in Church (Been there done that )
Why?
When Space Marines pray they kneel and put a finger to the side of their heads.
BACK ON TOPIC:
1. You start referring to the United States Marines as 'Glory Boys'
2. You think that the Joker could have possibly been a Dark Eldar
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
You use green stuff to fill in all the 1's on all your dice....You know you've thought of doing it too!
You look at the moon and wonder if it was the target of a planetary bombardment.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
actually, I'm slowly adding layers of paint to the ones of my dice.
It's working too
8506
Post by: Shrike78
you use green stuff on your jack o lanterns
happy Halloween people
8870
Post by: lasgunassasin
You think Rambo has a pretty good armour save
You roll a dice to see how far you can run at athletics
You think people who talk to themselves are possesed by khorne
you wonder why theres no slaneesh dancers at the strip club
you only walk 6 inches
you hail the emporer
when you fight you take turns punching eachother
you declare out loud how far you are gonna move
at the start of the day you think of any special rules for the day
you whish your girlfriend was a Slaneesh Deamonette
you put all the kids at your school into HQ ELITE TROOP FAST ATTACK and HEAVY SUPPORT classes
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
You think about ramming your wife's car in the next turn.
8506
Post by: Shrike78
You have math-hammered the odds of penetrating said wife's car.
The odds are good.
You do so
You are destroyed the next turn by your wife's shooting phase
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
Okay, then I did not survive the battle, too bad. Next time I' ll try to roll better.
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
You wake up at the painting table, only to find out you have plastic bits glued to your forehead.
You get written up at work for calling your boss a "Fething, Gak-Head!".
You take your preacher model and have your real Priest bless it at church...trust me you get really weird looks after that.
When you started playing this game Ronald Reagan was still in office.
5636
Post by: warpcrafter
Kung Fu Jim wrote:You wake up at the painting table, only to find out you have plastic bits glued to your forehead.
You get written up at work for calling your boss a "Fething, Gak-Head!".
You take your preacher model and have your real Priest bless it at church...trust me you get really weird looks after that.
When you started playing this game Ronald Reagan was still in office.
I've called certain bosses worse than that and didn't get fired, because I was the only  that worked there. That's why I'm now self-employed and much happier.
494
Post by: H.B.M.C.
lasgunassasin wrote:you hail the emporer
Isn't that normal?
BYE
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
You plan to mindwar your neighbor.
514
Post by: Orlanth
H.B.M.C. wrote:In my case I added it to a shopping cart to see what difference it would make to the discount (it didn't). I then went about adding things and only realised that I had forgotten to remove the Land Raider after I had paid for everything.
Good thing it was the new Redeemer kit and not a regular Land Raider!!
BYE
I hope you dont mind if I point and laugh.
Enjoy your new Land Raider.
Indeed good thing its is a Redeemer kit, they are useful, though maybe not so much for a pure Guard player.
7297
Post by: Kung Fu Jim
You travel to Baltimore on "Business" just to go to the battle bunker. (tax write-off?)
You complain so much about G.W., people think you are talking about politics.
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
you know you play to much when you hit a car and ask if you got a glancing hit. also, you shall not repeat in the vox comm, "can you hear me now?", give the driver of the land raider that almost hit you the finger,or put a melta bomb under a tank just to "see what happens". and p.s. please do not feed the bezerkers.
8229
Post by: Xav
when you think sister of battle players are pimps!
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
You want to be a pimp for Sisters of Battle and are saddened that they don't actually exist.
8709
Post by: OnTheEdge
When you write your CV and include the words trukk, doc and klaw
5520
Post by: Thr33ifbyair
After a "good night" with your significant other you perform a sweeping advance instead of letting them fall asleep.
When you are finished you declare it a massacre.
You than attempt to consolidate D6 feet towards the shower or kitchen.
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
you go to games day and lunge at the people dressed as xenos.
9504
Post by: sonofruss
<--------- you have that tatooed on your skin felt like road rash for a day
7122
Post by: model collector
When you read this entire thread go grab your brother show him the entire thread
talk to likeminded people at school about why the schools gakky firewall won't let you on to the GW site, Its not as if its violent
7502
Post by: BloodDeathAssault
When you have a car crash you consolt the vehicle damage chart.
494
Post by: H.B.M.C.
Orlanth wrote:Indeed good thing its is a Redeemer kit, they are useful, though maybe not so much for a pure Guard player.
Good thing I'm not a pure Guard player. My 12K of Ultramarines were quite happy to get the reinforcements.
BYE
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
You tank shock your neighbor...
10016
Post by: Altanis
In Halo 3 you run at the enemy with your "Power sword" while yelling "FOR THE EMPEROR".
You kill teamates so you can yell "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
7779
Post by: Attack_Squig
You get outlawed at the dinner table from discussing that 'silly game' with your son, your daughter does the outlawing.
8745
Post by: Llamahead
You write Courage and Honour on the side of your hard hat at work.
You say the problem with the Tiger is its 500pts in Flames of War and you can get 5 T 34's for that.
You have brought several shelves for your armies- and their now full.
5873
Post by: kirsanth
When your friends/coworkers/significant others who do not play 40k can point out potential 40k references by proper name.
e.g. "That thing looks like a Lictor"
9547
Post by: warsmith pyrus
57:when you start finding random warhammer minis in your pockets
10016
Post by: Altanis
You say you pet cat counts as an attack squig
You call pirates stealing ships "Dark Eldar Raids"
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Llamahead wrote : You write Courage and Honour on the side of your hard hat at work.
Guilty. My buddies started calling me Calgar after I started using 2 nailguns simultaneously
8375
Post by: Reaper6
You call your girlfriend's mother The Hive Tyrant, but your gf points out she looks more like a Squiggoth !
9191
Post by: lanman
Shadow Nugz wrote:
167. You have figured out that a Ditch Witch trenching tool is pretty much a small titan weapon.
now that you've figured out how big these things can get your searching for a kit so you can start an ork army
494
Post by: H.B.M.C.
Just remembered another one:
You go out of your way to get enough Beakie heads to do two full 10-man Assault Squads and when you finish the last one you have three full 10-man Assault Squads with Beakie heads.
I... I don't know how I did that...
BYE
9375
Post by: typhus
Regantor wrote:102. If you have actually tried figuring out the "Sign of the Aquilla", so you can use it on a regular basis.
103. You can't watch horror movies without automatically figuring out which chaos god the bad guy belongs to.
HOLY F*** IT'S TZENNTCH!
lol im guilty of this
5654
Post by: Corey85
When you don't think of spending moeny in terms of dollars but in terms of minis... "hell, 40 bucks for gas, thats a predator"
9375
Post by: typhus
Corey85 wrote:When you don't think of spending moeny in terms of dollars but in terms of minis... "hell, 40 bucks for gas, thats a predator"
guilty also
8901
Post by: Skurk3n
You scream CHARGE in your sleep so your girlfriend wakes up (guilty)
9547
Post by: warsmith pyrus
you pick up a lazer pointer and think i'm holding a las pistol(guilty)
8229
Post by: Xav
thinking about if suddenly warhammer became life sized and took over the world.
(GUILTY)
9851
Post by: BuildTauTough
When you try to get your girlfriend to allow a threesome with the female neighbor...claiming its for the greater good.
When the great memories of your friends start with the words "Remember when your SM played my Nids....."....guilty
When you start a game at 8pm with 3 other people and when it ends its 9am.....and the only thing you can say is "cool, the hobby store opens in an hour.".......guilty
When you are assembling an army the night before a tourny, find out your kit is missing a bit, and look around the house for 4 hours for something that looks like it. Cursing GW for not having a 24/7 bit express shipping department.....guilty
10108
Post by: chickenbgood
when you've read through 9 pages of this and still have more ideas
before you leave for vacation you search to see were some gw stores are, and you go to all of them, even when you have no money
your freinds know all about wh40k, even though they've never read anything or played a single game
you buy the new dow games even though you know your computer cant run it
you know then dimensions of a rhino, and plan to build one for a paintball tank (i hope)
when you create a dakka dakka account for the sole reason to post on this thread
when you create a stencil of the aquilla and spray paint it on everything
when you mix up weapons in xbox games with wh40k games
you've listened to "bolt thrower" just because they have songs with gw themed titles
plan on spending all of your thanksgiving break painting/ modeling
when you have space marines that you have repainted at least 5 times
when you have a tank with 27 different coats of paint (guilty)
when you have wrote 40k themed research papers just for the warp of it
when there are so many of these, that nobody knows what number we're on
3675
Post by: HellsGuardian316
When your sad enough to actualy go back and COUNT them all just to get back on track
(and hell no, I'm not doing it again)
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
when you look at real tank and say "Ha! my devastaor squad can take that out!" and then become sad when you realize that the devestators are not real.
10097
Post by: Ensis Ferrae
ultramarine1 wrote:when you look at real tank and say "Ha! my devastaor squad can take that out!" and then become sad when you realize that the devestators are not real.
you look at a real tank and wonder how quickly a Devestator squad, or Multi-Melta (or any other heavy weapons for that matter) would destroy that tank
10054
Post by: Death Gear
You spend idle moments on the can thinking about whether or not a chainsword would actually work, which always ends with 'Who cares, it's a chainsword!'
hey thats what i do ok and i got one to work ok 
10054
Post by: Death Gear
your freinds know all about wh40k, even though they've never read anything or played a single game
done that....
plan on spending all of your thanksgiving break painting/ modeling
doing that too.....
when you mix up weapons in xbox games with wh40k game
all the time....
when you look at real tank and say "Ha! my devastaor squad can take that out!" and then become sad when you realize that the devestators are not real.
that too nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you watch a neighbour finish painting his house then tell him it would look better with some highlights and a Badab Black wash !
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you keep track of this thread on your cell phone.
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
you laugh at all this then stop when you realize that you do all of this.
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
when you know more 40k jokes then math, science, and history because all you do in school is look up 40k jokes
10097
Post by: Ensis Ferrae
when your friend buys a new, top of the line computer, and promptly modifies is, and you proclaim him a heretic of the Omnissiah.
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
You ram the car of your wife again, if it hasn't worked for the first time.
173
Post by: Shaman
466. you wish you had a raider/helion skyboard.
467. you think of cigarettes as lho sticks.
468. you consider life as an ork, less work more dakka/punchin'/drinkin'
The deep strike comment was gold.
7618
Post by: Warboss Spleenstaba
1. while on a cruise you see the sad workers sscurrying around serving beers and pina coladas to the fat bastards in deck chairs as "drank servitors" (works with any waitors and waitresses)... where the hells that drank servitor gone too.
2. you yell "for the empra!' during xbox live multiplayer matches of gears and halo.
3. you dress up like a death corps commissar for a 600 vs 600 paintball match and threaten to execute those who retreat (all the while shouting "charge!" and "for the empra!".)
4. U watch covert ops movies and think "shrike could have done it better"
5. U shout waaagh more than three times a day.
6. U find yourself randomly thinking "god damn yarricks a bitch"
7. you see gay pride parades and think of them as cultist festivals to slaanesh.
8. you can not look at a nun without picturing her with a heavy flamer.
9. you constantly accuse people of heresy against the emperor.
10. you have had to deal with a noob trying to compare balistic skills...twice.
11. you often speak in orkish.
12. you think that eldar were found at roswell.
13. you can't help buct chuckle at tau: electronics, fraternetys and seroritys, and chinese foods.
14. you plan for defense against a tyranid invasion.
15. you can't watch tremors movies without thinking ravenors and trygons.
17. you think that gears of war, halo, and star wars all steal gak from 40k
18. you can not read edgar allen poe without thinking Raven Guard.
19. you see industrial caution stripes as the heretical markings of iron warriors.
20. Every time you hear the word change you immediately think tzeench.
22. you curse (or pray to nurgle) when you get the flu.
23. when playing the kill the wyrm level in gears of war two and have to cut the arterys around the heart and scream bllod for the blood god! while cutting them with your chains saw and blood pours out pooling at your feet. (funny for those who know what i'm talking about.)
24. you pray to the omnissiah to start your car in the morning.
25. you refer to ciaphas cain as the space pimp in conversation with your friends and they know who you mean.
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
You doom your neighbor and nothing happens.
6838
Post by: 1hadhq
...your last 10 ideas were about 40k conversions
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
When you become a weapons designer just to make a working Leman Russ.
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
you dont have a girlfriend, because you think that SOB are sexier
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Crazy_Carnifex wrote:you dont have a girlfriend, because you think that SOB are sexier
when you do have a girlfriend...
...and she agrees !
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
When you watch Top Gun and think the MIGs look like vultures that could actually fly. (Guilty)
When you try to make a vulture to see if the above is true. (Not guilty. Fuel costs to much.)
When you start assigning "signature items" to movie Characters (Guilty)
When you watch aliens because you thought that there was a 'Nid on the cover.
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
You get shouted at for staring down a family member and when asked why you did it you say"i was trying mind war them.'
GUILTY!
7928
Post by: bryantsbears
When you keep checking this frakking thread nine pages gone...
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
Guilty!
8375
Post by: Reaper6
bryantsbears wrote:When you keep checking this frakking thread nine pages gone...
Also guilty !
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
When you will not just let this thread die. Guilty!
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you wish Hand to Hand combat with Genestealers was a Bush Tucker Trial on I'm A Celebrity ( UK members will know what I mean ! ) and David Van Day would be picked off by a Scout Sniper Squad !
8141
Post by: SonsOfLoki
????. you've run out of money, and you like to paint, so you become a commissioned painter, become a millionaire, by a rhino, upgrade it to a predator annihilator, add lascannon sponsors, defeat the government, turn it into "the imperium" slay your best friend, then sit on the can for ten millennium thinking about what you've done
8506
Post by: Shrike78
wuestenfux wrote:You doom your neighbor and nothing happens.
you doom your neighbor and something DOES happen (O-O)
9811
Post by: ultramarine1
when you use Fortune to help you pass a test 
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
When you know what Dakka Dakka is.
9708
Post by: Orkeosaurus
When you know what a "Realtor" is.
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you refuse to move house because the one your partner has her eye on doesn't have enough rooms for a decent gaming room ( If we're moving, I'm having a War Room, no two ways about it )
10097
Post by: Ensis Ferrae
when you are fluent in latin, for no other purpose than to come up with battle cries and chapter mottos for your imperial forces.
10193
Post by: Crazy_Carnifex
When you check to see if this is the longest thread ever posted on Dakka Dakka.
9428
Post by: Seggi
Desert Fox wrote:
- You yell 'WWWAAAAAAGGHH!' When chainsawing people in Gears of War
Guilty...
When you paint your kid's skin green and kill them when they start getting bigger...
Not guilty, but if I had kids...
10326
Post by: ungulateman
I know a bit of Latin already, which helps my marine's custom names.
CM-Napoleus Kantor (Napoleon Dynamite joke)
2nd Company Captain-Captain Adolpheus
and so on.
5930
Post by: Billie_Joe
When you own every codex, especially if you have multiple from past editions.
You look through old Rule Books and Codexs, sigh and say "oh those were the days"
You try to determine to S and AP of Paintball guns, let alone real ones.
You get Tatoos and Piercings with the idea that you would make one BAMF Noise Marine.
When you refer to working out as "The Practice Cage".
You think Horus actually had a good idea, with good intentions. (i know I do)
You pray for GW to come out with a 40k MMORPG.
10326
Post by: ungulateman
They ARE making a 40K MMORPG.
**dances happily**
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you google "Latin Translators" , for no other purpose than to come up with battle cries and chapter mottos for your imperial forces
(Sorry, Ensis Ferrae, I don't speak Latin )
10097
Post by: Ensis Ferrae
lol, i took latin class long before i had ever even HEARD of 40k
you know you've taken 40k too far, when you've purchased approx. 4000 points worth of marine kit...assembled about 50 points of that... and never played a single game (guilty... bought a crap ton of marines, and only had 18 days of midtour leave from iraq in which i assembled/started painting a few)
8375
Post by: Reaper6
Ensis Ferrae wrote:lol, i took latin class long before i had ever even HEARD of 40k
You have my sympathies.
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
Your hot girlfriend, who plays SoB, and decides to indulge in your fantasy on your birthday. This involves paintinr herself green and wearing a bikini, and telling you shes Shadowsun. She does not realize that Shadowsun is blue-grey, and doesn't wear a bikin. You are happy an way cause it's your She-Hulk fantasy.(You know you had ONE!)
Thanks, now with 10% more BADASS,
David
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
That was kinda perverted, even for me. Im posting to bost RANKING!!!!!!!!!!!
Visit and comment on my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, now with 10% more BADASS,
David
9129
Post by: UsdiThunder
When you look at a mini van and start contemplating Ork Warwagon Conversions. (guilty)
When you place FW orders based on the exchange rate of the US dollar vs. the British pound that week. (guilty)
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
You stay up way late just to think of something to post.(GUILTY,GUILTY,GUILTY)
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
You yell "FETH!!!!" when you see yougot an F in math (guilty)
8375
Post by: Reaper6
When you're sitting in the lobby of a Courthouse, reading this on your cellphone !
When you're listening to the news of the Woolworths chain's demise and hope GW buys it out ( Imagine a GW store with THAT much floorspace in YOUR town ! Tell me it's not an inviting thought, I dare ya )
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
You name one of your special characters after your dad and brother.
You name one of you special characters after a card in Magic The Gathering, in whichcase you need to stop playing both for a while.
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
Yo name your Libarian Sarkhan Vol, Tezzeret, Jace Beleran, or any planes walker from majic. Stop playing alll games for 3 months to purge from system!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4139
Post by: wuestenfux
You toy with ramming your wife's car calculating probabilities...
10097
Post by: Ensis Ferrae
you wonder who would win in a first encounter scenario....space marines, or captain kirk
10097
Post by: Ensis Ferrae
when you walk to the bathroom, and have the random idea to write a piece of fluff set in the LOTR universe... and promptly have your DIY chapter of space marines rescue the "squats" from the heretic with the "artefact from the dark age of technology"... of course, they enter the whole story by drop pod
7352
Post by: Appa'PgiB
When you're willing to take out the trash as your chore, just so that you can rumage through the "good bits" for terrain.
9631
Post by: Sicarius
When you can spell out 'For the Emperor' on a calculator. Not easy I can tell you
5644
Post by: P4NC4K3
you start playing Warmachine...
8243
Post by: TheUndeadLenin
Both of these happened to me:
When you dream your an Imperial guard and freak out till the Space Marines show up
You work on a model for a painting contest tomorrow instead of going to bed...with your girlfriend.
7632
Post by: Ghost in the Darkness
That is not that bad I have dreams of being a guardsmen all the time.
You Dream of being a SM Salamander when still in the planning stages of building the army.
You are now going screw me, I need to go back to dreaming about other stuff.
10254
Post by: Golden Eyed Scout
You actually hope that Earth is a lost colony from Terra, and desparatly hope to be discovered cause even if your bad with machines you know more than the Grand Magos of the mechanicus, even thoughh you can't figureout how to clear your google history.
(guilty)
8152
Post by: The Defenestrator
Golden Eyed Scout wrote:You actually hope that Earth is a lost colony from Terra, and desparatly hope to be discovered cause even if your bad with machines you know more than the Grand Magos of the mechanicus, even thoughh you can't figureout how to clear your google history.
(guilty)
This reminds me of a quote I heard one time: "The hardest thing about a zombie apocalypse would be pretending I'm not excited."
back on topic.....
You have to stop yourself from preemptively buying an army for an upcoming codex you know nothing about. (guilty, guardsmen)
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