Granted. You get your brush but now can't fish for it anymore!

I wish for a puppy

Granted its dead.

I wish for my school work to be finished.

granted Now Your teacher seeing your goodwork quadruples your workload.

i wish for this day to be over already.

Granted but the whole year goes.

I wish my friend would shut up.

Granted. Hes now 6 feet under

I wish for a real life Bolter Btch

A Bolter what?

No Wish you are taken by the chaos gods.

I Wish for a life time supply of shandy.

I wasn't granting. I was sking what he meant. And the Chaos Gods (Just Khorne) took me long ago. That's why I try to cling on by playing GK.

Granted, you drink it all in one night and Slaanesh takes you away, while at the same time your liver takes a tiny powerdrill to your ribcage.

You are taken by the tau and are forced to write i will fighjt for the greater good on a chalkboard 100000000000 times for not posting a wish. Also for not knowing what a bolter b is.

I wish to be asdrubael vect

He is a Bolter B

I wish for nothing.

Granted. Where'd the universe go?

I wish that school wasn't so awful.

Granted. Now its living hell.

I wish for awesome Tv.

Granted you have the oprah network as you only channel.

i wish for a shrubbery

Granted you are now a plant

I wish for ninjas

Nom

They Ninja you in every post. You will never answer firat.

I wish the universe was flat.

Granted but now its much easier to invade places, enjoy speaking German.

I wish for cheese.

Nom

Granted, but it comes from a fat man's belly button.

I wish for more wishes

Granted. Can't use them though because of a lop hole.

I wish this wasn't my 800th post.

Granted. You get 0.1 wish which is rounded down to 0.

I don't wish.

Unwish granted.

I wish my gall bladder wasn't jacked up at the moment.

Granted. It's removed by a piledriver.

I wish that I could afford nice things.

Granted, but you're on a plane that crashes in the jungle where there are no nice things to buy.

I wish the Backstreet Boys had never attained popularity and ruined the musical scene of my childhood.

grayshadow87 wrote:Granted, but you're on a plane that crashes in the jungle where there are no nice things to buy.

I wish the Backstreet Boys had never attained popularity and ruined the musical scene of my childhood.

Granted. the band that beat them out turns out to be 3 times worse for music as a whole.

I wish there were more orkmoticons

Granted. It's just various colours of an Ork flipping you the bird.

I wish that I didn't screw up everything ever.

Granted. You can make sandwiches.

I wish metal was replaced with wood.

Granted. You win a Luxury Cruise holiday, and the entire ship rots and is eaten by termites at the same time.

I wish that I was a plank of wood.

You get eaten by Termites. You were part of the ship.

No wish. Your genitalia is also munched by the termites.

I wish that I didn't have to do so much MOD work for the 9th Company!

Granted. You have to Mod the entire internet

I wish I had an old worn out tooth brush.

Granted. You have to brush 2 times a day, every day remember?

I wish that I could drive a real life Vindicator

Granted but Eldar Fire Dragons use you for target practise.

No wish. You're the one unlucky Fire Dragon that was hit directly by the Vindicator shell.

I wish that my cats wanted to be with me.

Fine. They never leave you alone. Ever.

I wish I was death incarnate.

Granted. All you your family is killed by your touch.

No wish again, Deadshot! You're in joshi's family.

I wish I could eat some marshmallows.

Granted. You drowned in them.

I qish for a free megapaint set.

Granted. It's lined with explosives and cat hair. Say bye bye to paint and hello to Scare E McWhiskers!

I wish for a grand piano to be smashed in my honour.

Granted, but no one is there to see it smashed.

I wish I had a giant wheel of Muenster cheese.

Grant it is smashed. Over your head.

I wish fora complete 5000pts Ork Goff army with all the special characters.

Granted. Both wishes are combined! Enjoy eating your plastic cheese hybrid models!

I wish that I were the I like Trains kid!

Granted. But someone says 'you like trains' and you are ran down by a train.

I wish that I could convert my cadians into vostroyans with ease.

Yup. You have to use sodium to do it though, and your case isn't waterproof...

I wish my dinner was ready.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:Granted. Both wishes are combined! Enjoy eating your plastic cheese hybrid models!

I don't like Venomspam!

Granted, you're having venomspam (cheese and plastic hybrids)

No wish, so your wish is granted. You get extra Venomspam.

I wish I didn't have to pay for gas for my car.

Granted. you now have to pay for gas for all of the us navy. good luck with that...

I wish i had an unlimited supply of tic-tacs

Granted. Unfortunately, they're all marmite flavoured.

I wish that I couldn't say anything that might get me into deep gak.

Granted. Your tongue and larynx stop working.

I wish I didn't have a physiological or psychological need to sleep.

Granted. You spend the rest of your life drinking coffee until you keel over and have 11 Cardiac arrests.

I wish that GW products were affordable, reasonably priced and of a good quality.

Granted, but now they only produce space marine assault squads.

I wish that I could talk to animals and understand what they said.

Granted. You become a dairy farmer and manage to hear what Daisy thinks about you yanking her.... ummm... Udder appendages.

I wish that I could win Golden Demon.

granted you are taken by Demons to the eighth circle of hell: the mat ward lovefest/singalong that never ends

i wish for a working stormeagle

Granted. Now you have to pay tax and insurance.

I wish that my RPG thread was popular.

Granted, but everyone involved in it wants to make characters based in the Hello Kitty universe.

I wish my job as a teacher was more action-packed.

Granted. You now have to teach a group of ADHD Teenagers who have drank about 12 Red Bull Shots, stuffed their face with sweets and are armed with BB Guns.

I wish I was more imaginative.

Granted, all the kids try to beat you with chairs.

I wish wishes were fishes.

EDIT: ninja'd

granted, but you only imagine awful things

I wish Blapblapblap would stop ninja'ing me forever.

Granted. You aren't on Dakka anymore.

I wish that I could not screw up my life so easily.

Granted but you take along and coplicated way to screw it up now.

I wish my tea was warm.


Nom

Granted. You catch on fire as soon as you take a sip.

I wish I liked tea and coffee.

Granted, it is lukewarm.

I wish for chocolate cake.

EDIT: AGAIN!

Granted, you drink too much of it and cannot sleep, so you die of exhaustion

I wish for chocolate cake

Granted but you become addicted and that is all you will ever drink.

I wish the hunger games movie was actually good.

Nom

Granted. I won't even corrupt that one because I agree. It was poofy.

I wish for a better 40k movie, possibly using the Brotherhood of Orion RPG as a script.

Granted, but all the characters will be MLP:FIM mareines.

I wish I had free beer.

Granted. It's water and urine.

I wish for Deadshot's wish.

Granted, but it's directed by Michael Bay.

I wish my apartment was clean so I didn't have to clean it.

Granted, you lose your apparment, wich gets cleaned by the new owner.

I wish that Minecraft was free.

Granted, but it leads to a virus-laden edition of the game that quickly proliferates and destroys the majority of computer networks, destroying life as we know it.

I wish I could semi-passably paint miniatures.

Granted. however everyone else becomes golden demon level painters.

Crap. Okay, you didn't make a wish, so your painting skills become as horrible as mine would.

I wish that a new film with Tommy Lee Jones would be released, and that it would be awesome.

Granted. Directed by Michael Bay!

I wish for the opposite gender to be attracted by me.

Granted, but you decide you bat for the other team and none of them are interested in you.

I wish that the kettle wasn't so far away.

Granted. You now have a kettle implanted into your right eye socket.

I wish that I could do no evil.

granted. good becomes illegal

I wish I were a 20th level Chaos mage.

Granted. You Perils 20 times in a row.

I wish that I had waffles.

Granted how are your rat testicle waffles?

I wish i had slept last night.


Nom

Granted, you remain asleep forever.

I wish for more guitar strings.

granted, a pixie garrots you with your brand new 'g' string.

I wish for an enternity of paradise.

Nom

Granted, but you are the only one not allowed in.

I wish that I could type quicker.

Who said that wasn't my idea of paradise

Granted you have spent countless hours mastering the art of typing quickly when you realise all semblance of a socail has deserted you, but you have a small ray of hope. THE INTERNET. shame bill gates just destroyed it all.

I Wish for my own personal paradise (that i'm allowed into)

Nom

Okay, but you are permanently locked in stasis and unable to do anything other than watch everyone around you enjoy paradise.

I wish for a tasty, fully edible, non-spoiled, and non-death-inducing hamburger.

Granted but i steal it.

I wish for the return of the Dodo

Nom

Granted, but now they are bloodthirsty and craving revenge against the species that destroyed them.

I wish people would realize that contraception exists and start using it so the world's population would stop skyrocketing.

Granted no women will ask you to join them.

I wish my GF would wear the outfit from Noms Avatar.

Granted but.she disappears leaving a note saying "I got a better offer."

I wish I knew why the chart topper changes every week.

Granted.

But you can't handly the horrifying truth and your head explodes from pure fear.

I wish for 10 packets of within-expiration-date doritos in my cuboard.

Lol. Fear.


Granted, along with a family of rats.

I wish the governments of the world had 2 brain cells to rub together.

Granted. Now they decide to launch al those nuclear missiles, idling away. What a waste!

I wish for my RPG to be awesome and made of pure win.

Granted, but people get socail lifes and never show up.


I wish i could go out today.

Nom

Fine. But it's a subjective opinion, and no one else agrees.

I wish GW made MLP Mareines.

Granted, but they immediately go bust and you never get any.

I wish I was not here.

Granted. You're over here.

I wish for the Pangalactic Gargle Blaster right now!

Granted, but you have to go to the Restaurant at the End of the universe to get it.

I wish I lived in Middle Earth as a hobbit.

Granted. You're eaten by an AWOL Balrog. ALIVE.

I wish for all of the world's monies!

Granted, but the weight of it crushes you to death slowly.

I wish I had a pet Elephant.

Granted. Unfortunately, it crushes you to death as you are retrieving me from all the monies!

I wish for my feet back.

Granted, you recieve them in a glass case.

I wish for a new guitar.

Granted. It's made of delicious, yummy cake that's laced with cyanide

I wish for a key to the glass case.

Granted, but there is no lock.

I wish I was immune to cyanide.

Granted. You're allergic to everything else.

I wish that I could make an epic sig worthy quote.

Granted, but it is a thread so obscure that it is never seen or used.

I wish for a new ipod.

Granted. It's a cheap shuffle forgery made in Hong Kong that starts looping "Friday" when you want to play your precious bands...

I wish for the entire world to know of my awesomeness.

Granted they all know how awesomely crazy you really are.

i wish for control of GW. (so i can have a nametag on my desk that reads Supreme Grand Master

captain collius wrote:Granted they all know how awesomely crazy you really are.

I actually am quite crazy in real life...

Anyway.

Granted, but you turn into Matt Ward.

I wish for clarification.

Granted, but it makes things more confusing.

I wish I never had to work.

Granted. You're left a vegetable.

I wish for a better tomorrow.

granted you don't see it

I wish for Matt ward to wirte the new DA codex so we can be LOLZ AWESOMEZ WITH 5 man terminator squads that are actually all Mephistons stat line with 3++ invuls

Granted, but noone will play you,

I wish I was kayaking.

Ok. Ever see the end of MW2? It goes a lot like that, bu there is no Price to save you.

I wish I had a Sniper Rifle.

Granted. It's made out of foam and leaks acid.

I wish I could pass my private school exams in May.

DAMN YOUR NINJA WAYS

Granted but you hate everyone in the school.

i wish For a Bugatti Veyron Supersport and 100 million in cash

EPIC NINJA!

No wish. A ninja kills you.

I wish I had a horde of ninjas to command.

Granted they turn on you.

I wish for my wishes to be uncorruptable and the i wish for 100 million dollars and all the minis i can stand!

Granted, but only the first part. You are stuck down by lightning for being greedy and making 2 wishes at once.

I wish I was a ninja.

Granted you are hit by an arrow in the knee on your first assignment.

i wish For enoguh money to finish my master in economics

But you are hit by a bus straight afterwards and never recover.

I wish for my own award-winning TV series.

Starring ninjas. Which turn on you, and kill you live on air.

I wish BlapBlapBlap was a ninja.

Granted Blapblap kills you and Dragio.

i wish i had a suit of terminator armor with cyclone missile launcher thunder hammer and stormshield

captain collius wrote:Granted Blapblap kills you and Dragio.

Surely that's a good thing?

Granted. I walk up to you, shove you over and you fail your 2+

I wish that I was the best at everythin gever (NOT A TYPO)

Granted, but time implodes due to your perfection.

I wish I had a new mobile telephone.

Granted, but you lose it in a super-hive of killer bee/rattlesnake hybrids.

I wish my car would drive itself wherever I told it to and not crash on the way.

Granted but it only drives at a max of 2 mph!

I wish I had all the hats in tf2.

Granted but i've bombed it.

I wish for society to come crashing down.(I have no need to survive, my job is done)


Nom

Granted, but from its ashes spring an even better society that impervious to the catastrophe you wrought. Oh, and no one in the society remembers you.

I wish that food with all the flavor of sushi but none of the caloric content (and no horrible side effects) was invented and I had access to an endless supply of it.

Granted, Soylent green is people!

I wish the Sinking feeling thread didn't die every night at this time...

granted. you get ninja'd so much you ragequit the thread.

I wish to be immune to ninjas

granted but the pirates kill you instead

i wish i could stop world hunger

Granted, but you choose not to.

I wish I lived in a world without wishes.

Granted but then the genies kill you for destroying their livlihood.

I wish for the murder or mindwipe of every twilight fan and the burning/deleteing of all source materials.

Nom

granted but with the lose of their madness they go crazy and create something EVEN WORSE

i wish GW would right balanced rules for all armies

Granted Ward writes everything. leading you to ragequit the game

i wish i could stay awake today (i'm gonna lose all my ninja confrontations with blapblap)

Granted. You develop insomnia and you begin to imagine two pink frog people living in your house.
I wish GW hired an amazing writer to re-do the Necron codex.

Granted. Matt Ward ragequit but got hired back last november.

I wish I could get my new models now.

captain collius wrote:(i'm gonna lose all my ninja confrontations with blapblap)

Doesn't matter if you're on, you'll lose anyway.

/troll moment.

Granted, but they're all Grey Knights.

I wish that people at school didn't humiliate and mock me.

Granted you become the next Bill Gates but now they are blood sucking leeches trying to get your money

I wish for enoguh musical ability to play the guitar

Granted. The strings are replaced with cheese wire.

I wish we went back to trading cattle and not money.

Granted. It is now the 14th Century, and the Black Plague is in full swing. Good luck surviving!
I wish I owned a tank.

Granted, you now own a full-to-the-brim septic tank
I wish for good grades

granted: all the hills in your area are never steeper than a 1%grade.

I wish i never had to see another episode of DS9

Granted, you are stuck watchinng the same episode on an endless repeat.

I wish I was a better miniature painter.

GRAnted your family thinks you ahve passed on after a bender and sells your models to TFG.

i wish for MOAR Terminators

Deadshot wrote:A Bolter what?

A Bolter Bitch-otherwise known as a sister of battle

Granted. You drive off the range and are killed by an A10 Warthog

I wish for an Assault cannon

Granted. It's 2nd Edition and you've screwed up your sustained fire. Your assault cannon implodes on itself.

I wish for A MILLION POUNDS

Granted. Its stolen and you can't prove you didn't steal it, so you go to jail for life. You get fined for 2million pounds. As you can't pay back the remainder £1m, the bill is passed onto family, leaving all of your relatives bankrupt. The sudden decrease in pay because of the stolen 1m causes a fluxuation in the economy. Prices rise and hyperinflation kicks in. This transfers over to other countries as Britain can't pay off its debts. It becomes the Great Depression MK 2 and life as we know it crumbles and grinds to halt. People die in droves from starvation and diesese and all but 0.1% of humans die.


I wish the above doesn't happen.

Granted, humanity is completely wiped out instead.

I wish I could actually win a game tonight.

Granted, you play Hide and Seek. The fat guy was behind the lamp post.

I wish more than 0.01% of people get the joke I put below.

Only 0.01% of people gwet this joke.

they do... or at least pretend to

i wish the drinking age would abolished. EVERYONE DRINKS

Granted. Unfortunately the world quickly runs out of alcohol and angry mobs of former drunks go on a rampage, destroying civilisation.

I wish that I was good at designing statistically valid experiments.

GRanted you die in a fiery wreck.

I wish for 50,000,000 dollars

Granted. It's all placed in a large pile directly on your face.

I wish for reincarnation as a higher being.

awesome

granted THe universe collapses at this logical paradox that cannot be resolved and you are as the meme states Forever Alone

I wish For a sandwich

Ok. it is delievered to you via The Heavies' fist.

I wish I could think if a good wish.

Granted. You forget it.

I wish for my brains to be replaced with the contents of a goldfish bowl.

Granted. You are now dead.

I wish for the ultramarines to be declaired heretics and eliminated.

Granted. Then C.S Goto is fired, and harmony is restored in 40K.

I wish for a small cup full of gravel.

Granted. How many gravels do you take in your coffee?

I wish people had mor respect for ach other.

Granted. People have more respect for each other for two minutes, then go back to normal again.
I wish I could replace my heart and lungs with fully-functional artificial ones.

Granted. Then someone detonates an EMP and you die.

I wish that Pokemon were real, except they all had horribly sadistic personalities and waged an unending war against humanity, forcing humanity to unite or die under the onslaught of rabid pocket monsters.

Granted, cept we don't unite and pokemon win.

I wish I were truly Immortal.

Nom

Granted. You outlive the universe, and spend eternity frozen in place, isolated and utterly alone as the universe suffers heat death.

I wish for a pony.

Granted. Your pony is a zombie and has a taste for your brain so it slowly chews your head open, opens your skull like a jar, and slurps your brains out through a straw so small that it takes him 1000 years to finish. while this happens you are on life support being tortured by the pain.

I wish for a truckload of FW

Granted, you are crushed to death under the combined weight of a million plastic firewarriors. And then tau are nerfed from 40K so your greiving family cant use them and noone wants to buy them.

I wish for a hearse

Granted but you're riding in the back.

I wish sheep would take over earth.

Nom

Granted. Have you ever seen Black Sheep?

I wish for a Liliana of the Veil card

Granted. Through some freak accident, the art is smudged, there's frays on the edge of the card, and you can barely read any of the descriptions. Oh, and Lilianna is now banned due to other gamers whining about how OP she is.
I wish I could ride on a pet T. Rex to school every day.

Granted. he eats you.
I wish for hippopotomi SP? to follow my psychic commands

Granted. The only psychic command you know is "rip me apart slowly, limb from limb".

I wish not to make a wish.

Denied,

I wish for moar foodz.

Nom

Granted. The heavens open up, and from the skies, flaming lemons are unleashed, causing untold destruction upon humanity.
I wish I had photographic memory.

Granted, but that is now the only function your brain can perform.


I wish I could find the dragonlance books.


Nom

Granted I have them

I wish for a brilliant insight into how to play my skaven in WHFB

Granted, but I'm so hungry I eat your skaven making your tactics useless.

I wish I wasn't replying to threads just to try and stay awake.

Nom

granted but its all poisened.

i wish for zombies to be real

Granted. You are the first to die, and are eaten so thoroughly that you cannot resurrect.

I wish for a Cygnar Battlebox.

Ok. It explodes.

I wish for explosives.

granted they explode

I wish for a gyro.

Granted, but it's made of tainted human flesh infected with turbo necrotizing fascitis. Enjoy rotting from the stomach up.

I wish for more cowbell.

Granted. The world is now over run with dutchmen carrying cowbells

I wish for a chance

Granted. You waste your chance to win the lottery playing arcade Guitar Hero.

I wish for my sanity to go farther away.

Granted. You go so insane that you decide jumping off a cliff onto jagged rocks will appease the dark gods.

I wish for an IRL ignore button.

Granted. It also self destructs with any kind of contact.


I wish for my goldfish bowl brain to also have an inbuilt toaster function.

Granted. It shorts out in an anti-climactic fashion.

I wish Tau could curb stomp orks in cc.

Granted, the orks somehow learn how to shoot tau guns and end up sniping the whole universe to death


I wish for peace

Capitansolstice wrote:Granted, the orks somehow learn how to shoot tau guns and end up sniping the whole universe to death


I wish for peace

Granted, the peace is forged through a hundred year nuclear war.

I wish for an R2D2 xbox

Granted but it makes loud beeping and whining noises.

I wish there was no such thing as pop music. Also for that matter boy bands.

Ok. It is replaced by the unending whine of Dial-up.

I wish it would stop raining.

It stops raining for a decade. Everyone dies of thirst in the scorching sun.

I wish all the bronies were gone.

granted but it turns on and boils all the water out. so you die.

i wish i could type faster

Granted. So fast your keyboard breakes and explodes everywhere in a shower of keys.

I wish for a chicken sandwich, and fast.

Granted. A fat plumber by the name of Clarence walks by you, holding up a chicken sandwich. Before you can make your claim, he begins eating it, and continues to walk away.
I wish my backpack could hold things without being so heavy.

Granted, but when you pull things out of it they are infested with black widows, which is a fact you discover when biting into a sandwich you had stored in it.

I wish that my hair was a few inches shorter.

It's length is reduced by fire. To your head.

I wish everyone spoke by Trololol.

Everyone does, and as a direct result, exterminatus is declared on earth by a join discussion of world leaders. How they discussed it we will never know...

I wish I could be a pony from my little pony: friendship is magic

Granted. However you are hunted down and eliminated by the APS (Anti pony squad)

I wish for a good movie.

Granted. You can't see it, as you're in a coma.

I wish for Waffles.

They're heretical waffles and you're hunted down and executed for owning them

I wish I was a dinosaur

Granted. You're a fossil in the British Museum.

I wish for ASDF movie to be real.

Granted. "I like trains".

I wish I didn't like trains.

Granted. I like Trains.

I wish that my sanity was intact.

Granted. you realize with your intact sanity that you really REALLY like trains...

I wish Flash gitz were worth their points value

They are. But are removed from the codex.

I wish WW2 had never happened.

Granted. Instead, Europe War I happens, which is a direct result of Hitler invading Belgium before moving on to attack Poland and other countries.

I wish I wasn't so indecisive.

Granted. You stick to your first option, even though most of those decisions are bad ones.
I wish I had bionic legs.

Granted. They aren't made of stainless steel, and rust when it rains.

I wish I were attractive to the opposite gender.

granted you are attractive to to women in a rainforest dwelling tribe in brazil good luck getting there.

What if i could find a working Tardis.

Not a wish. The entire of space and time implodes on you, crushing you forever. Everyone else is in a parallel universe with attractive women and loose laws. And eternal youth.

I wish for good luck for my entrance exams in a week

Granted but exams aren't based on luck. You fail and go back to your school where you are beat to death for being the nerd who (tried) to transfer.

I wish for a real working Tardis.

Granted. You are stuck forever in the title sequence of Doctor Who, and slowly starve.

I wish for my life to be worth living.

granted.

i wish for the ability to seduce any woman at anytime with no consequences

Granted. The first one is carrying Cholera, with rather unfortunate consequences when you try to reproduce.

I wish for a piece of cardboard that is cut into the shape of a death ray so I can go "PEW PEW PEW!" all day long.

granted they give it to you right after you arrive at the mental instiution.

what if Blap actually got sent to said instituition

No wish. You become the skull in your own Avatar and are killed because you are a member of the Unforgiven and the Ordo Hereticus doesn't like the DFA anymore

NO WISH!

I wish for FIRE!

Granted, you are burnt to death by the SoB.

I wish for more houmous.

granted. you drown in it.

I wish to be able to pull exact change for whatever i wish to purchase from my pocket any time, any where without fail.

Granted, but the economy shortly thereafter collapses and reverts to the barter system, leaving your ability to pull worthless bits of paper and only slightly more valuable bits of metal out of your pocket fairly useless.

(Riffing off of your wish, and assuming yours has been granted) I wish I had the ability to pull the exact item people wish to barter for from an extra-dimensional space in my pocket.

Ok. That extra dimensional space? a black hole. Have fun!

I wish for a trained Hydra.

Granted. Suddenly, everybody else gets Cerberus and a Manticore.

I wish for Witch Hunter Tyrus to be in 28mm Heroic Scale

Granted, but it costs precisely $1,000,000,000,000 (due to shipping and handling costs, plus "miscellaneous fees").

I wish for a big chunk of ice to block the street by my house so I can stare at people who are staring at the giant ice block that won't melt.

Granted. The next day, the sun's ray pierce through the Earth's ozone layer, and the block of ice melts. Your neighborhood is suddenly plagued by flash flooding.
I wish I had a Panzer II tank to drive to school and back.

Granted. you get into an argument with me that ends in me shooting your PZKW 2 with my Jagdpanther.

I wish for more blood

Granted. Unfortunately, you didn't wish for a body big enough to contain it, so your veins, eyes, and ears explode in a gout of blood.

I wish I only had to breathe once every twenty-four hours.

Granted. The air around you becomes very toxic.
I wish I could get this paper done during the weekend.

Granted. You get a U on it.

I wish I were completely crazy.

Granted, but everyone else goes totally crazy too, so you fit the new definition of sanity.

I wish I had an Amaretto sour right now.

Granted but you eat it and its laced with cyanide

i wish we knew what happened after you died. without having to die

Granted. You're stuck in that trace of thought forever.

I WISH THAT I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!

Granted. You then get eaten.

I wish for LEERDAMMER CHEESE.

Granted. You leave it on the radiater and it melts and turns into Grey Knights

I wish for more blood to drink

granted its infected and turns you into gollum.

I wish for the sundresses to be out today.

Granted. you are burned by their rays and die of the resulting skin cancer

I wish for my mother to stop being a health nut.

Granted, she becomes ridiculously overweight, resulting in everyone making "Yo mama's so fat.." jokes about her. She eventually becomes an internet meme for it, leading you to die from shame.

I wish that I didn't have to wait for my Cygnar battlebox to arrive.

Granted. It shows up, but it is missing most of the pieces.

I wish that I had a set of precursor knights for my Cygnar army. (P.S. It's great to see a new Cygnar player).

Granted. unfortunatly you got them off of ebay and the previous owner, not liking the paint job, put so much paint on them that they are now nothing more than bowling ball sized spheres of pink and orange.

I wish i could remember to wish without editing.

Wish granted, but you are using Dial Up internet,

I wish people would stop talking to me about my little pony

Granted, they start talking to you about their little ponies instead.

I wish for more spotify minutes without having to pay for them

Granted. Every playlist is deleted, you're stuck offline and the Radio only plays Glee.

I wish for Minecraft Skillz :3

Granted. Too much skillz. Everyone teams up to horribly kill you in your sleep with dynamite.

I wish for cheddar grey knights.

Ok. They melt in the sun, going soft and squidgy, resulting in an army of "The Scream" marines.

I wish for more LEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS! Moments.

Granted. Everyone gets sick of "LEEROOOOOOOOY JENKINS!" and it soon goes extinct.
I wish I could stop time.

Granted. you are unable to restart it, and are affected by the stop. congratulations on ending the universe.

I wish Dr. Temujin forgets how to stop time before he does.

Granted. Then Blap walks up and stops it anyway.

I wish for STUFFED CRUST PIZZA IN A TOASTER INSIDE MY BRAINS!

Granted, except that it is applied retroactively and has been there your entire life, meaning your brain couldn't function well enough to form the wish in the first place. This places you into a paradox loop of time, which leads reality to vomit you out of itself and into non-existence, much like a human body expelling the contents of an upset stomach.

I wish for the "Eye of the Beholder" episode of the Twilight Zone to be on the T.V. the next time I turn it on.

Granted, except the the actors suck, and the Beholder is bad CGI.
I wish I could flip tables at enemies with the strength of a hundred men.

Granted, but you nail a hotty with the table and her boyfriend turns out to be a russian bodybuilder

I wish bass only music didn't exist

Ok. No music. Ever.

I wish my coursework was already done.

Granted, a toddler did it. You fail everything and have to repeat the year.

I wish I had no exams

granted you sleep through them and fail holding you back a year.

i wish for tottenham to get 3rd

Granted.

But after that they are immediatly replaced with dribbling toddlers.

I wish for coke.

Granted, but you're arrested by the feds for possession of an illegal substance.

I wish the weekend was longer.

Granted. Time gets fethed up and the Time/Space Continueum crumbles and the.universe as we know.it.comes to an end.

You never get payed. Always weekend.

I wish Coolyo294 understood i meant the drink.

Granted, but now I think you want a drink made out of cocaine.

I wish Terms of Enrampagement was an actual movie.

Granted. But its insanely aweful.

I wish Coolyo294 knows i mean the famous drink coca cola.

Granted, he does, but ignores the fact anyway.

I wish I was not here

Granted, but you are in Iraq.

I wish for $21,000,000 AUS.

Granted, but you're arrested for stealing the money from a bank.

I wish I had Niko Bellic's phone.

Can you say "Explosion? I know you can.

I wish I had a woodchipper.

Granted. You have a woodchipper and find out the hard way what happens when you reach in too far to clear a jam.
I wish for a nice vacation.

Granted. Too nice. The vacation, while lovely, cost insane amounts of money plunging you into never before seen amounts of debt, destroying your life completly.

I wish for a necron security force.

Granted, but it turns out they all run on Windows 95

I wish for more TheRoborLol in my life

Granted, he follows you everywhere - never more than 3 paces from you, and you can't get rid of him.

I wish I could pass exams without having to attend them.

Granted. your clone eventually decides that since it did all the work, you need not exist...

I wish we all lived in the world of the Paranoia RPG.

Time for another rousing round of "We all live in a paranoid RPG, a paranoid RPG, a paranoid RPG".

Gotta love the Beatles.

I wish I knew what it was in Raid that's strong enough to kill cockroaches.

Granted. Through experience. You get a nasty faceful of the stuff.

I wish for a 40k army of leerdammer ghost things.

Granted. I come round your house and cut them up to put onto my Ritz crackers.

I wish I could reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Granted, but the leprechaun guarding it kills you.

I wish the Thousand Sons would wipe out the Speshh Puppies.

Granted but the Space wolves take revenge on the Thousand sons, wiping them out for killing their puppies.

I wish for mangos.

Granted. There is a delivery mix up and you end up with oranges. ORANGEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!

I wish for too much awesome.

TOO. MUCH. AWESOME!!!! The Universe implodes on itself from the awesome.

No wish, COME AT ME BRO!

No wish. Skulltaker comes at you.

I wish I had the CC ability of Skulltaker.

Ok. I have more CC ability though, cross the water into Belfast, and best you in mortal combat.

I wish I could fly.

For refernce no one is better in single combat than ST.

I wish I had Thor's hammer.

Granted but the airforce shoot you.down for invading restricted airspace.

Granted. But you are not found worthy and cannot lift it.

I wish this wish never happened.

Wish granted, wish wasted.
I wish people saw my thread...

Granted but it is locked.

I wish I could pass all my exams this yeah.

Granted, but the professor determines that the rest of your coursework is reason enough to fail.

I wish my ear wasn't all itchy.

grayshadow87 wrote:Granted, but the professor determines that the rest of your coursework is reason enough to fail.

I wish my ear wasn't all itchy.

Ha, I won. I am doing a new system where there is no coarsework. There is regular testing via Controlled Assessments. And I have scored 86% or more in everyone, in the top 15% of the class.

Granted the lice migrate north and south to certain concentrations of hair.
I wish I could win something for a GW store competition.

Deadshot wrote:Granted the lice migrate north and south to certain concentrations of hair.

You evil man. Anyways...
Granted. "Congratulations on winning our local Games Workshop competition! Unfortunately, we don't actually have a first place prize, it was just there to make people work harder. As a consolation prize... here's a can of tuna." (10 internet cookies to the one who can identify the reference!)
I wish I could contribute to writing for Warhammer 40,000 6th Edition.

Granted but Matt Ward looks at it and screws.it into Codex, 6th ed Squats.

I wish.for bread to put my tuna.on.

granted. the bread is moldy
I wish to have a pizza from little Caesars so I can eat while I game

Capitansolstice wrote:granted. the bread is moldy
I wish to have a pizza from little Caesars so I can eat while I game

The pepperonis? Not made from pigs, or anything identifiable.

I wish for 3.

Just 3.

Granted. You have a number which, when hooked together with other letter or numbers, is often used by perverts to make crude renderings of phallic images. Aren't you proud?

I wish to be Lord of October, the month of falling leaves and serial killers in white masks who stalk baby-sitters.

Granted. At midnight on the first of November, the souls of the dead drag you into hell so that satan can prepare you for your next coming.

I wish I wasn't sick.

Granted. You are now dead.
I wish I could shapeshift.

Granted. Into a tomato and as tomatoes are completly mindless, you cannot think about turning back into a human.

I wish for a better computer.

Granted. You now have a better computer but it's infected with a non stop rick-a-rolla virus that cannot be deleted or contained.

No wish? Kharn wants a word with you.

I wish for something good to happen.

Gah! Granted. You win 1,000,000$ in the lottery, but then Kharn steals it.

I wish for a Detective Comics #27

Granted, but it's infected with a non stop rick-a-rolla virus that cannot be deleted or contained.

I wish for a perfectly normal can of diet coke, on my kitchen table at home.

Granted, but your home has been relocated to a radioactive waste dump.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted. But each one wants to kill you.

I wish for chinese takeaway on my kitchen table which is in my house which is in its normal place.

Granted, but your house is possessed by a Great Unclean One.

I wish for a pet penguin.

Granted but when you wake up with a hangover you are welsh and wanted by the Australian police.

I wish for an eternal mystery to be resolved.

Granted. Your puny mortal mind caves in with the sheer pressure of it and implodes to create a new black hole that sucks the world in and crushes it into a diamiter of roughly half a millimetre.

I wish for chains

Granted, you are bound in chains and thrown in the sea.

I wish for free miniatures that I like.

Granted, the minatures you like are now sold for free throughout the world. However no one makes them anymore because there is no profit and therefore you will never be able to get hold of them.


I wish my electric razor didn't try to cut my skin each time i use it.

Granted. It shears your bones, flays muscle, and boils your blood instead.

I wish that I paint a 10x10 foot 40k diorama that wins the Golden Daemon Award....

Granted, but you drop it, and it is hit by several cars, buses and lorries. All that work and effort is ruined and unsalvegable.

I wish for free PP models.

Granted, they are fakes from china, and somehow you get blamed for recasting
I wish for a new computer