All of the sudden, a giant bomb fell out of the air, oblitarating gutsnagga. The hill recognises thenoobbomb,who is the bomb. The Hill accepts it fate.
MY HILL
I wail so piteously that you come over to see if I am alright, I kick you in the testicles and as you writhe on the ground I go over to the hill. My hill.
I am now Magneto, and I make the generator overload and blow it and the sentry up. Oh, and then use the scraps to make a small coffin and shove you in there and chuck it into the sea. My hill
And suddenly an alien spacecraft appears and burns the Orks and everyone on it into ashes, and baxter123 strolls on and claims it for the Emperor...
And then builds a giant hive city on it, surrounded by millions of men.
My hill
My Chaos cults infiltrate the hive city. As my fleet of Word Bearers arrives in orbit they disable the weapons batteries and military capabilities of the city. My Word Bearers storm the city, killing all the loyalists. We fortify the city again.
The word bearers run out of ink to write on their armour post it notes they love so much. Because of that, they run back screaming to the warp to get some. In their absence I take over the hill, and set the orbital defence cannots to destroy the chaod forces as the they return.
Unfortunately, a certain robot devil was left in charge of those cannons. You die, and it's my hill. And I've still got the cannons if any of you are wondering.
I pull the chair from your grip and hit you over the head with it, sending you tumbling down the hill. I then put the chair down, now welded to the ground. My hill
But as you sit down on the melting chair I imprison you in a giant freezer box and kick you off the hill.
I then destroy the cannons and put myself in an indestructable box chained to the hill.
My hill
I cut the chains and use them to chain your indestructible box shut. I then roll the box into the sea. Enjoy life trapped in an indestructible box underwater.
I take some of this newly discovered indestructable metal, create some armour for myself, then gun you down with an AK-47. I then stand on the hill in my indestructable armour. My hill.
While the three of you are busy arguing over trivial matters, my ship sends a virus bomb onto the planet's surface, then send an incindiary after the flesh-eating virus has done it's job to ignite it all. My hill.
Oh, and just for shiggles, I blow up the hive city and add the rubble to the hill to make it more grandiose. And then put a statue of me in Power Armor.
From 2.5 km away I shoot you with a rail gun, I get off and blow up the rail gun. Then I get in a ATV and drive over your corpse just to insure your death. My Hill, with a fancy ATV
I dig my way under you with a rusty spork and a roll of duct tape, I stab you with the spork and duct tape your hands and feet together, then I activate your jetpack watching you fly in circles.
And then my Cryptek arrives from nowhere and launches an energy beam at you, which liquifies your suit of armor, then proceeds to smack you around for a bit while I climb up...
My Hill.
You slip in the liquified armor while climbing and fall back down to the bottom. Meanwhile the pumpkins I planted a few pages ago sprout up and I emerge on top of
My Hill.
He runs away screaming not from madness, but because he sees me rising up behind you. I administer an atomic wedgie and send you packing off of
My Hill
Unfortunately you are also unprotected against the gasses, so you fall down grasping your throat making funny gurgling noises. I don a gas mask and claim
My Hill.
I break out of jail using a pair of tweezers, some paracord, and a rather unhappy squirrel. Then with those same items I kill you by, opening your up with tweezers, putting the squirrel in your mouth, and sewing your mouth shut with the paracord. Stay tuned for the next episode staring DeathGyver on
My Hill.
I may be in hospital recovering from the treachery of the attack dogs, bitterly plotting a terrible vengence on you all, but the dogs still infest the hill, the very same you are currently residing upon. And they are not happy. My hill.
You leave it on a table at an FLGS, and chavs come in, swipe the hill and start throwing it around like a frisbee. A dog catches it in mid air and brings it to me. My Hill.
The now-infected dog bites you repeatedly and tears holes in your bio suit, as I laugh. Being undead (you killed me yourself a few times) I am immune to the toxic fun. As you begin to foam I start digging your grave on top of my hill.
Ask any DAKKITE from the UK what a chav is for a far better description than i can give you.
My hill because I am an american who does indeed know what chavs are after working with some UK folks for years. I just thought the chav phenomonon would be described best and colorfully by an actual UK citizen.
The US has 'em too but there really isnt a name for 'em.
It then becomes halloween, and the Pumpkins of the world seek revenge on you for smashing their kind. I then direct the vengeful horde to your hill. My hill.
However, the brains turn out to be self-destructive and blow up, destroying everything within 5 miles but the hill. Then I drive in from 6 miles away and take the hill. My hill.
I shoot holes in your parachute, causing you to plummet onto robot at terminal velocity. The results aren't pretty. I wander up the hill and clean off your remains with a hose. My hill.
The mother of all battles rages around and you are stuck in as well. When the coast is clear I take control of the hill and build a castle on it. The castle moat is filled with pirahna, and there are AA guns on the towers. I raise the drawbridge, and the flag, on my hill.
Only problem is, the castle is built on unsteady ground. One day, there's a large earthquake in the vicinity, and the castle, and everything in it, collapses into rubble. I then pilot a flying saucer and use a robot arm to place my flag with my face on it on...
My hill.
Tzeench creates a daemonic incursion on the other side of the galaxy, and all the GK run off over there, while I come back onto the hill. All the GK are too busy to do anything. My hill.
You however failed to notice the several C'tan Shards in there with you. You are quickly beaten. As a punishment for not actually dong anything for him and just getting repeatedly defeated, Tzeentch turns you into a mindless spawn, a fate from which there is no escape. I then crack open the tesseract and claim the hill. My hill.
I'm still inside the tesseract and attack you, causing tzeench to turn you into a spawn. As I have finally completed a mission, tzeench gives me a second chance and turns me into a horror. Who happens to be on the hill. My hill.
An IG artillery regiment pound the "fake" hill into a crater, and then I call in cosmic bulldozers to move the hill to a reality I created, so your fictional characters have no hold, physical, etherial, or otherwise. I then sit on...
My Hill.
You are off in a world of your own creating, imagining that you own the hill. You are in fact in a straightjacket in a padded cell because you are quite mad. My hill.
When the fire is out, I fly over and drop a hive full of angry bees on you. When they are done stinging you I drop your honey covered body into a pit full of lesbians. My Hill.
(Mmmm, lesbians-- err, I'm sorry!)
I lead my newly fashioned army of Lesbians of Lesbos Island and have them toss you off the hill and into the Grand Canyon. They have sworn eternal Loyalty to me and me alone.
My Hill. And an awesome party.
You keep the hill for the majority of the month, but when PMS hits you find out they are all synchronised, I disguise myself as a chick with an army of PMSing lesbians to defend me on
My Hill
Then, in a freak accident, the Exterminatus fleet is destroyed in a warp storm before they can deploy their munitions.
Oh, and I knock Wardragoon off...
My Hill.
I begin a Scorched earth policy in the area around the hill. Your soldiers begin to starve and resort to cannibalism. You are eaten, and the last defender starves to death. I walk up the hill with supply of food and sit down. My hill.
I walk up to you, punch you, take the detonator. And blow up the hill. In a radiation suit, I walk up and claim the highest point on the edge of the crater.
My Hill
After the mutants see my hirsute body they not only decide not to eat me, but choose to follow me en masse. Me and the mutant horde overrun the CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT CARRIER, throwing you on the fire next. We eat tasty pumpkin on
My Hill.
I burrow deep beneath the earth's crust and create a fissure so that lava spews up into the crater, fills it, then heaps up until a sizeable new hill is created. Then I resume my position at the top of my hill.
As you sleep, I return and glue you into a rabbit suit. Then I post rabbit season signs all over the hill. When you awake you are assaulted by shotgun fire from all directions.
I smell rabbit stew cooking as I relax on my hill.
I stealthily tread through the forest of guns, then I unplug the generator to the feed hoppers. As you try to open fire I walk up and pimp slap you off
My Hill
I call in artillery fire on the Ammo bunkers, with bunker busters.
I walk up under a seeming sky of fireworks. I stand atop your burnt and shrapnel filled corpse. Singing a song about
Taking insperation from Bane, all of the concrete that I'm using to build my hill is actually laced with explosives. My second in command presses the detonator and blows you up.
I bring the crane from the junkyard. I use the electromagnet to pick up you and your suit. Then I lift you way high and drop you, again and again, until the screaming stops.
Then I climb back up my hill.
p_gray99 wrote: My clone takes the bat from your hands and follows suit. My hill.
Look at your bat, now look at me, now look back at your bat. I'm mind controlling you, and you beat yourself to death with the bat. I then nuke the hill. I liked it before as a hole. My crater.
I distract you with a bright shiny thing. While you are not looking the new Hill2.0 is delivered right on top of you, squashing you like a bug. I sit triumphant on my hill, now defended with claymores, pit traps, and pungee sticks.
Coolyo294 wrote: I paradrop down onto the top of the hill, avoiding all of your traps and shooting you in the face.
My hill.
I put a Shai-Hulud larva into the hill and accelerate it's growth. After a few days it rises up and swallows you whole. I then spray it with a fire hose, killing it.
My hill.
A little gnome comes up and head-butts you in the crotch. Then he and his buddies carry you away to faraway lands, and more importantly off...
My Hill.
Girl Scouts come and set up a camp on the hill, where they plant flowers and sing happy songs. Their scoutmaster calls the police about the creepy man who wont leave the hill, and you are forced to flee. Eventually they decorate with pumpkins for Halloween......My hill.
The Girl Scouts start using the pumpkins for pumpkin pie, and end up making you into a pumpkin pie, afterwords I call the police about your disappearance, causing them to find your remains in the Girl Scout pumpkin pies, after all the Girl Scouts are arrested, I grab my flag and claim
My Hill.
You are caught red handed (or would it be pants down?) with a prostitute, you are arrested and lose your job. I enlist Bane's help and lure all the police under
My Hill.
I rush up the other side of the hill with 300 Spartans and quickly dispatch everyone there. Then we set up a perimeter and prepare to defend my hill. FOR SPARTA!
snurl wrote: I rush up the other side of the hill with 300 Spartans and quickly dispatch everyone there. Then we set up a perimeter and prepare to defend my hill. FOR SPARTA!
I convince Blade that the spartans are a bunch of vampire lackeys. He kills them all.
I use the remains to make a throne on
My hill.
i convince Aries, Achilles, Beowulf, Ajax, Hector, Gilgamesh, William Wallace, Leonidas, 3 roman legions, Patton, the entire u.s third Army, and 4 f-22 rapiers with tankers to help me. blade dies my hill as my army protects me.
captain collius wrote: i convince Aries, Achilles, Beowulf, Ajax, Hector, Gilgamesh, William Wallace, Leonidas, 3 roman legions, Patton, the entire u.s third Army, and 4 f-22 rapiers with tankers to help me. blade dies my hill as my army protects me.
A whale and a bowl of petunias falls on them, and crushes them along with the hill. I stand triumphant on the hi- uh, I mean, whale.
You are stabbed by a thrown harpoon, and I leap at the whale, stab it repeatedly, and start spitting curses at it like Ahab. I then set up a whale-restaurant nearby and use the whale meat as my main dish for a soup, the blubber as fuel for cooking and oil, the bones for construction materials.
My hill. with a business!
Oh, and I also offer free petunias for customers.
After replacing the petunias with poppy's and the whale meat with rats meat I call the FDA, you are shortly closed down by them, after a hell of a bargain from a government auction I buy the restaurant and turn it into a Taco Bell, the only restaurant immune to legal actions.
My Hill, with a Taco Bell.
Some gentleman from the little known restaurant Le Costa Nostra Spaghettioli patarea come to have a word with you, they have baseball bats.
My Hill, though I suppose I owe the Mafia something
I glue you into a steak costume soaked in holy promethium. The flesh hounds chase you down and I ignite you all in a ball of cleasning fire. My hill, and bonfire.
I bring the king of obscure refferences to converse with captain collius, while they are both talking about Omida Tong (wth is that) I shoot them both in the back of the head with a good old .45 ACP hollow point.
My hill, complete with bits and pieces of brain and skull matter.
I hire a landscaping company to clean the nastiness off the hill, after mistaking you and your legion of pumpkins as a weed infestation they clear you, and the pumpkins off the hill. After they plant the petunias I claim
The hill, after decades of the suffering that has been inflicted onto, decided that it had enough and became a volcano, incinerating your entire army.
Luckily for me, I decided around that time to cross myself with a salamander, making myself immune to lava. My hill..er, Volcano.
... which are actually the polio virus, disguised as essential vitamins. Encased in a biohazard suit, I walk up to...
My Hill. And spray it with more lethal diseases.
Hirenkyaku - I jump clear and kill all the flying monkeys with several rounds of Heilig Pfeil from my Spirit Weapon. Then I literally reduce you to pulp using Licht Regen. My hill.
The problem is, you guys were fighting over the decoy hill. Meanwhile, construction of my fortress has been completed, with automated defenses, mine traps, howitzers, SAM missiles, and robots loyal only to me.
My Hill.
Oh, and there is a Hydrogen Bomb triggered to detonate if I die prematurely.
I employ an army of ninjas. We break into the fortress and destroy the robots, before encasing you in concrete and feeding you through a straw so that you do not die and set off the H-bomb. My hill and fortress, now guarded by ninjas.
Dr. Temujin wrote: I swallow my tongue, committing suicide and setting off the H-Bomb. A Hyperion New-U station reconfigures me, and I walk over to claim... My Crater.
"Handsome Jack here. Heard you were a vault hunter. That's too bad...for you that is. For me, its going to be hilarious! I took the liberty of implanting a fusion explosive in you after you got rezzed. Enjoy the fireworks, I certainly will." ...Now why the feth didn't he do that in the game? Or at least, stop you from rezzing? The whole existence of the New-U machines baffle me. Not well implemented into thegame at all.
Hmm... yes, I have wondered that myself...
While Handsome Jack and yourself are busy laughing at my death, the Vault Hunters arrive, kick your asses, and somehow fix the New-U station so I arrive, without the fusion bomb.
My Hill. And Having a Tea Party, drinkin' mah tea!