You get an AT-43

I insert my children's hopes and dreams

You get cotton candy.

I insert Killer Clowns from outer Space...

You get a paper boat and a red balloon.

I insert a shiny bomb casing filled with used pinball machine parts.

You get a red solo cup filled with ork bitz.

I insert a loaf of bread.

You get bread crumbs.

I insert Cheez Whiz...

You get industrial byproducts

I insert a GMO tomato

You get ketchup packets.

I insert roman candles.

You get thrown in a Roman bath.

I insert Michael Myers.

You get Austin Powers (Oh behave!)

I insert James Bond.

You get a Bail Bondsman.

I insert Chewbacca.

You get a Date of Euthanasia form from the new Hoth Animal Shelter

I insert the new animal sidekick hotness, a Porg!

You get a Porg Ka-Bob. Yummers!

I insert the cuteness...

You get the Pokemon Eevee.

I insert a Pokedex.

You get poked by a serial killer named Dexter.

I insert two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun.

You get fries with that.

I insert a Wal Mart shopping cart.

You get a Costco membership.

I insert a group of Howler Monkeys.

You get Sgt. Fury and his Howling Commandos.

I insert an M3 Stuart.

You get a Russian bill of sale

I insert a pair of BAO tickets

You get a net list.

I insert Signals from the Frontline...

You get the Bat Signal.

I insert Mr. Incredible.

You get The Incredible Mr. Limpet.

I insert a tuna casserole.

You also get the Incredible Mr. Limpet.

I insert the Black Pearl.

You get an oyster.

I insert clam shells...

You get the recipe for homemade seafood stock.

I insert the Taj Mahal.

You get an empty casino.

I insert the whole boardwalk.

You get a bunch of angry tourists

I insert a pound of flesh

You get a Mc Gang Bang.

I insert Frylock...

You get Shylock, looking for his pound of flesh McGangBang.

I insert Tainted Love.

You get a copy of Love Taint

I insert the Gibbering Hordes

You get a soft cell.

I insert the 80's...

You get WalMart shoppers.

I insert bottle rockets.

You get Band-Aids.

I insert a Bic BBQ grill lighter...

You get flicked.

I insert Agent Orange.

You get agent zero.

I insert shish kebab sticks.

You get poked.

I insert Kinesio tape...

You get a holographic wrist band

I insert an eldar Shuriken Catapault

You get a Lego Ninjago minifig.

I insert a Dragon Warrior sized Bao.

You get a bao sized Ninja Warrior.

I insert a magnifying glass.

You get a Cyrstal Ball, non-functional.

I insert a still wrapped codex.

You get a red balance sheet

I insert a collection of gun-swords

You get a gently used Grindhouse DVD.

I insert my Netflix password...

You get an emoji.

I insert a long fuse.

You get a dud.

I insert a Throne Mechanicum from an Imperial Knight.

You get Tyler Perry dressed as Madea.

I insert freshly made Bananas Foster.

You get freshly made banana peels.

I insert sunscreen.

You get screened by ICE.

I insert a Philadelphia Freedom.

You get a bloody police trencheon

I insert a shiny imperial credit

You get a bit coin.

I insert blockchain technology...

You get called a blockhead, Charlie Brown.

I insert Scott Pruitt's integrity.

You get the incredible shrinking man.

I insert a brave new world.

You get a ride on Aladdin's flying carpet.

I insert a colony of Emperor Penguins.

You get happy feet.

I insert a short fuse.

You get bent out of shape.

I insert a shave and a haircut.

You get the barber of Seville

I insert 2 bits.

You get a C&D order from GW Legal.

I insert Frostgrave Gnolls.

You get a lawn Gnome.

I insert a 50 gallon drum full of water balloons.

You get a barrel of monkeys.

I insert a liberal.

you get a conservative child

I insert greased lightning

You get the role of Danny Zuko in the Pyongyang Workers Party Playhouse production of 'Grease'.

I insert Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

You get Motley Crue's Dr. Feelsgood.

I insert a Nebelwerfer.

You get a Guide to the Bundeswehr

I insert a shiny brass band

You get shiny plastic green & purple bead necklaces.

I insert gumbo...

You get Etouffee.

I insert Connor MacLeod, of the Clan MacLeod.

You get the quickening.

I insert a Solo cup.

You get a disturbing Star Wars Porn Paraody

I insert Eye Bleach

You get a pirate patch.

I insert shaving foam.

You get Axe body spray.

I insert Patchuoli oil...

You get one of the Colonel's eleven herbs and spices.

I insert a recording of Melania Trump saying, "Get to the Chopper.".

You get a quote of Hillary Clinton shouting 'Get to the Server!'

I insert a complete salesperson

You get an Amway catalog.

I insert an Herbalife brochure...

You get the biography of a man named Herb.

I insert the saliva and drool generated by my English Bulldog when I take him for a half mile walk in 93 degree heat.

You get a Great Unclean One's ball sweat.

I insert a flying Winnebago.

You get the Crane family

I insert a Tasmanian Killer Mouse

You get ratatouille.

I insert a tiny little mouse sized raincoat...

You get Stuart Little.

I insert a Pidgey.

You get kicked in the Ash.

I insert Snorlox.

You get the Lorax.

I insert Mordheim.

You get Flint, Michigan.

I insert ET.

You get a phone (to call home).

I insert an OASIS headset.

You get a lock of Liam Gallagher's hair.

I insert baby Godzilla.

You get baby Mothra.

I insert Astroboy.

You get a 50 gallon container of hair gel.

I insert B.B. King's "Lucille".

You get to take a nap.

I insert a pillow...

You get a feather.

I insert the tears of all my enemies.

You get a flower from Nurgle's garden.

I insert my dogs favourite blanket.

You get fleas.

I insert a vacant house.

You get drug addicts

I insert a spent las-clip

You get a door stopper.

I insert all the tennis balls hit during Wimbledon this year.

You get your balls hit during Wimbledon next year.

I insert a box of band-aids.

You get a scab.

I insert Neosporin...

You get slimed.

I insert a dinner with the Klumps.

You get granola with the skids.

I insert an annoying co-worker.

You get a Red Swingline Stapler.

I insert PC Load Letter...

You get Legal Sized paper

I insert The Cloud

You get The Chad.

I insert a psyker with an inferiority complex.

You get a psionic pixie.

I insert driftwood.

You get Bill Moseley.

I insert Dr. Evil.

You get frickin' bones.

I insert Mini-me.

You get Mr. Bigglesworth.

I insert SCOTT!

You get to ZIP IT!!!

I insert a Poop emoji.

You get a crappy cartoon.

I insert a banana.

You get peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat.

I insert Elvis' collection of sequined jumpsuits.

You get a signed copy of Elvis' Christmas Album 1957 RCA.

I insert a phonograph needle...

You get an 8-Track.

I insert green stamps.

You get a drug test.

I insert craigslist...

You get a bloody knife

I insert a book

You get a late fee.

I insert a plate of fried chicken and waffles.

You get a wet wipe napkin.

I insert syrup...

You get Aunt Jemima.

I insert Jim Brockmire's trademark red plaid jacket.

You get red plaid pajamas.

I insert nail polish.

You get a Polish sausage.

I insert Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang.

You get Car Wars: Steam Punk edition

I insert Steve Jackson

You get a chit.

I insert a hex map...

You get more chits in stacks!

I insert Advanced Squad Leader.

You get a Grognard

I insert a Game Kastle Franchise application

You get a real estate agent's business card.

I insert a F.A.T. Mat...

You get a diet plan.

I insert Ronda Rousey.

You get Rona Barrett.

I insert 12 Drummers Drumming.

You get a fish slap for mentioning that before Halloween is over.

I insert a wooden stake.

You get a pile of ashes.

I insert a can of compressed air...

You get blown away.

I insert the 7 Dwarves.

You get the Time Bandits.

I insert Ewoks...

You get an arrest warrant for endangered species mishandling

I insert a hollow golfball

You get a geode.

I insert Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

You get Jeff Dunham's hand up your ass.

I insert Snap, Crackle and Pop.

You get Frankenberry.

I insert Al Franken...

You get an incredibly bitter drink

I insert a turkish coffee

You get insomnia.

I insert Lon Chaney.

You get an opera about a phantom (see what I did there?).

I insert the One Ring.

You get an angry hobbit.

I insert an ordinary deck of cards.

You get nothing up your sleeve.

I insert a pound of bacon.

You get a pound of raw chicken

I insert Batman

You get a playing card, which turns out to be a Joker.

I insert a time-travelling DeLorean.

You get a time-travelling coke dealer.

I insert Jumanji.

You get entry into The Game

I insert a pair of pristine brass knuckles

You get dusty knuckles.

I insert a cup of hot Earl Gray tea.

You get a melting portrait of Dorian Gray.

I insert Sam, the piano player at Rick's Cafe Americain from 'Casablanca'.

You get to play it again.

I insert 16 million in gold bars, thirty miles behind enemy lines.

You get some Bad Company

I insert an alternate timeline

You get a disgruntled fanbase.

I insert a new Star Trek movie...

You get a bottle of James T. Kirk straight bourbon whiskey.

I insert the Crown Jewels.

You get a hammer that hits your family jewels...

I insert Spaceball One.

You get the slightly larger Spaceball Two

I insert a pair of AA Batteries

You get energized.

I insert a quarter and a dime.

You get a bus transfer.

I insert a Suica Card...

You get an unregistered cell phone

I insert an arrest warrant with no name

You get to go through the desert on a horse with no name, it'll feel good to be out of the rain.

I insert 800 pink lawn flamingos.

You get a video cassette of Jef Foxworthy.

I insert Larry the Cable Guy...

You get the Jim Carrey character of The Cable Guy.

I insert a rusty old car that was in someone's front yard.

You get Tetanus.

I insert the two old heckling guys in the balcony from The Muppet Show.

You get a letter from Waldolf and Statler demanding you learn their names, peasant.

I insert a secret government conspiracy.

You get banned from youtube.

I insert Alex Jones...

You get a flaming dung heap.

I insert a recipe for disaster.

You get the DNC 2020 Election plan, also known as' Hillary has to succeed this time, right?'

I insert a 64 ounce monster energy drink

You get a 'Thank You' letter from me for supporting the company of one of the best stock issues I ever bought into.

I insert a fine, Macanudo Red Inspirado Robusto.

You get a Drapery Dry Cleaning bill for $82.53.

I insert a bottle of Bulleit Rye...

You get the beginning of a fine Sazarac.

I insert a Howling Banshee.

You get a premonition of doom

I insert a live conduit

You get a dead battery.

I insert my phone charger...

You get a high five from the Vending Machine Gods who'd lost theirs.

I insert the coordinates of Slaanesh's prison.

You get a Honey-Do list from Sigmar

I insert some extremely loud anime dialog

You get a singing Pikachu.

I insert the Space Battleship Yamato.

You get a proton torpedo.

I insert a sucessful kickstarter.

You get an NSFW warning.

I insert a failed GoFundMe...

You get a shocked face.

I insert forty acres and a mule.

You get twenty acres and a chance to turn this truck around

I insert a Rubber Duck

You get a song about a truck convoy.

I insert Tzeentch.

You get your ways changed.

I insert a Reuben sandwich and 3 potato Latkes with sour cream from Katz's deli.

You get heartburn.

I insert a blintz.

You get syrup.

I insert a stick of butter...

You get a mashed potato dinner.

I insert a drywall screw.

You get a hole in the wall.

I insert spackle...

You get an upset gloryhole customer

I insert an untraceable chirping sound

You get no sleep.

I insert new batteries...

You get a charge out of it.

I insert grilled pork.

You get an angry letter from Chik-Fil-A

I insert 20 pounds of raw gemstones

You get poorer by 20 pounds of raw gemstones, and receive a very happy letter from Forgeworld saying that you have purchased 10 shoulder pads.

I insert an empty bottle.

You get a message.

I insert a treasure map...

You get a reference to One-eyed Willy.

I insert Sloth (from The Goonies).

You get a thousand letters from offended special needs lobbyists

I insert an English Dictionary

You get a Chinese finger puzzle.

I insert a $2. bill.

You get an odd look from people born after '76.

I insert a hose clamp.

You get a prostitute with the Kung-Fu grip!

I insert Tonya Harding.

You get a vacuum.

I insert the Minnesota Vikings.

You get a matching set of yellow and purple bath towels.

I insert a bar of soap from Paper Street Soap Company...

Pity. You get Pity, packaged with care

I insert a collection of razor edged fidget spinners

You get circumcised.

I insert the Marquis de Sade.

You get a whippersnapper.

I insert Fantascenes figures.

You get Reaper figures

I insert a Mountain

You get dew.

I insert Fanta...

You get a Bantha.

I insert Blackwater Gulch.

You get a visit from the Miner 49er...Ruh Roh!

I insert a worm from the bottom of a bottle of Mezcal.

You get visions of a tequila sunrise.

I insert a wooden nickel.

You get a woodchip.

I insert kerosene...

You get burned.

I insert Whelm.

You get Sub-Whelm

I insert a bucket of facebook likes

You get a thumb up your [REDACTED].

I insert the crazy cat lady.

You get the Old Witch & Scrapjack.

I insert The Man in the Machine...

You get the Machine Spirit.

I insert Nita Strauss.

You get Levi Strauss.

I insert a bottle of Glenfiddich Fire & Cane Experimental Series scotch and a glass.

You get a twelve year old.

I insert a case of empty bottles.

You get a DUI and are arrested.

I insert the upcoming Orks codex.

You get a month of hate mail.

I insert greenstuff.

You get a Nerds Rope.

I insert a deviation dice...

You get a bowl of S&Ms...

I insert a parking lot

You get towed.

I insert a Komodo Dragon.

You get a dragon kimono.

I insert a bag of Cheetos.

You get a pet Cheetah named Chester who has impeccably good taste!

I insert Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

You get running jews.

I insert ripperjacks.

You get Bone Jacks

I insert a 500 page manual on the proper use of MS-DOS 6.

You get Macbook Pro.

I insert ... What the hell? Where's the goddamn disc drive on this thing? Seriously? I can't insert my CD?...

You get a valium.

I insert a pair of tickets for this year's Super Bowl.

You get Patriotic Vikings.

I insert cheese curls.

You get a talking Cheetah who always wears sunglasses.

I insert Shrek...

You get the simpsons

I insert a red pen

You get redlined.

I insert a jar of hand stuffed Bleu Cheese Olives...nom, nom.

You get a jar of kosher dills.

You also get a jar of kosher dills. I get a jar of kosher dills. I didn't even insert anything yet!

I insert a pickle...

You get Pickle Rick.

I insert a collection of Rick & Morty Season 4.

You get a secondhand copy of Futurama

I insert a silver dollar

You get a little pancake.

I insert the Moathouse.

You get a stiff upper lip

I insert a bag of Chik-Fil-A sandwiches

You get a bag of homophobic leaflets.

I insert a rainbow flag...

You get a high five!

I insert the campfire scene from 'Blazing Saddles'.

You get methane gas. Lots of it.

I insert the lawn mower.

You get Karl Childers as your lawn mower repairman.

I insert the cumulative sheer idiocy and lies spouted by our Orangutan-in-Chief since his inauguration.

You get the swamp.

I insert vintage figures.

You get a Grognard.

I insert Old Hammer...

You get a bumper stick stating '1997 wil never die'

I insert three pounds of yeast

You get a yeast infection.

I insert a cup of tears.

You get a Squat army.

I insert a yoga mat...

You get a restraining order from the yoga instructor

I insert a tiny goat

You get a tiny bowl of Birria.

I insert all the bras and panties thrown at Tom Jones during his career.

You get a Daemonette of Slaanesh.

I insert the Predator.

You get a priest.

I insert a frozen pizza.

You get an IOU from your roomate

I insert a spelunking kit

You get a snorkel and flippers.

I insert thermite.

You get a Thermal Detonator.

I insert a hokey religion and ancient weapons...

You get a wooden stake and a mallet.

I insert a pointy hat.

You get a long grey beard.

I insert the one ring...

You get an urge to jump in and retreive it.

I insert mead.

You get stung by a bee.

I insert a nice bowl of spag-bol, some homemade garlic bread and a bottle of Chianti.

You get orders to report to a resocialization camp

I insert a german shepard

You get a German sheep.

I insert a roll of Italian sausage.

You get rolling italians.

I insert cocoa puffs.

You get a gravestone marker for Gramps the Cukoo Bird

I insert a parking lot

You get Space Marine Rhinos.

I insert Arkhan Land...

You get a Segway with an assault cannon mounted on it.

I insert The One Ring.

You get a massive repair bill for an engine overhaul.

I insert a bale of hay.

You get a signed headshot of Sarah Jessica Parker.

I insert a sugar cube...

You get dental bills.

I insert pumpkin spice.

You get Scary Spice.

I insert a face melting guitar solo from Eddie Van Halen.

You get a broken vending machine that shoots US 4656917 patents at you.

I insert an Adeptus Custodes Codex.

You get an IKEA assembly manual.

I insert a croquet Mallett.

You get a bag of lawn trimmings.

I insert a weed whacker...

You get a marijuana topiary in the shape of Marneus Calgar.

I insert a pitcher of chilled white Spanish Sangria...and 6 glasses.

You get a case of Budweiser.

I insert hobbies that have lost their lustre.

You get a balsa wood glider.

I insert a rubber band...

You get a slingshot.

I insert a bonesaw.

You get a visit from a sawbones.

I insert Sofia Vergara.

You get Sofia Loren.

I insert the kitchen sink.

You get a KP duty roster

I insert a martian proclamation of war

You get an Illidium P-36 Space Modulator.

I insert the orange fury Gossamer...

You get a hair ball.

I insert a melon-fething sea monster.

You get a melon in a terrible condition

I insert a Administrum issued set of Repulsor Wheel Maintenance Kits.

You get a pimped-out Big Wheel.

I insert Krampus.

You get cookies and a whip.

I insert cider.

You get a "home remedy" scam.

I insert Tylenol...

You get Advil.

I insert a needle.

You get a haystack.

I insert Monday morning.

You get anxious for the upcoming weekend.

I insert a balanced list.

You get tabled.

I insert a dice app...

You get slapped by a superstitious player

I insert an Augmented Reality App

You get 3d glasses.

I insert a blacklight.

You get a recording of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida by Iron Butterfly.

I insert a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket.

You get fear & loathing.

I insert a fire apple red convertible...

You get speeding tickets.

I insert an ordinary deck of cards.

You get a Fate Deck

I insert Fate Dice

You get fuzzy dice.

I insert the competition.

You get a participation trophy.

I insert a blue ribbon...

You get first prize in a beauty contest.

I insert a banana.

You get a scale

I insert colorless Gatorade

You get everclear.

I insert Jim Jones punch.

You get a pair of brand new black-and-white Nike Decades.

I insert the Shepherd's Rod...

You get a tract on Transubstantiation

I insert a Gaint Trapdoor spider

You get nervous livestock.

I insert coffee stirrer sticks.

You get nervous.

I insert prozac...

You get a wild guess

I insert a fidget cube

You get a Rubix cube.

I insert an American football.

You get first down.

I insert a flat tire.

You get jacked.

I insert a migraine headache.

You get a glass of water.

I insert a straw...

You get a wooden stir-stick.

I insert a pool liner.

You get a pair of goggles.

I insert a Premier Pro Aluminum Swimming Pool Leaf Rake...

You get a spoon.

I insert pool noodles.

You get Pad Thai.

I insert Sriracha...

You get spaghetti.

I insert my favorite axe.

You get an IOU from the Space Wolves

I insert my favorite set of dentures

You get Data's Pinchers of Peril!

I insert Slick Shoes!

You get a shine.

I insert a clown.