Heretics roasting on an open fire, meat-smoke filling up your nose...
Silver skulls, silver skulls, it's Emperor's Day in the hive city...
Rockin' around the hangin' tree, at the Emperor's Day hop -- traitors swing where you can see their eyeballs bulge and pop...
One of the wonderful things about our Imperium is all the different ways we find to give praise to our glorious God-Emperor! Let's all share how we celebrate His day on our homeworlds. I'll start!
On my homeworld, Yendys, the Cardinal has each district save up all its really good heretics all year -- the ones who did really horrible stuff for which a regular burning just won't do. Then on Emperor's Day we make a big bonfire!
Afterwards all the children sift through the ashes to see who can find a bone -- biggest intact fragment gets a prize! But all the kids love to take home their charred little treasures. Plus of course it wouldn't be fair to have the big kids and little kids compete, so we have one bonfire for the kids under six standard Terran years, one for the kids 6-12.
Then they bring out the Penitent Engines and have them drag sleighs! The kids love it and most of them even survive!
On my homeworld, Kar'vahoth, most of us know not of your puny Emperor, and instead worship Be'lakor.
So on Emperor's day, we search out the rebel scum (who think heretical thoughts such as "praise the Emperor", and why do that when you can worship Be'lakor?), and set up rituals to possess a few of their number so that we can have fun as they murder eachother whilst trying to "purge the daemon"!
EDIT: Sorry, but, what were you expecting a heretic to do?
Automatically Appended Next Post: "Oh what fun it is to sing a heretic's song tonight!"
You -- you big meanie! How did a nasty heretic get in our nice holiday thread? Well, maybe when the Frateris finish the 12 Days of Pogroms, we can put them and some Sisters and priests on some BIG SHIPS and come bring you a belated Emperor's Day present of PURIFYING FLAME! All that'll be left of you THIS Emperor's Day will be the charcoal in your shoes, so there!
What did you say your planet's coordinates were again? Thanks!
On my planet yet another gold statue is made of the Emperor. A service takes place in his glory. Before everyone sits around a campfire and eat roast peanuts.
Infacf most Emperor days are inturuppted by a shout of "ORKS!!!" and everyone has to go war.
You guys too! You're BIG GREEN MEANIES! [Edit: I totally didn't mean YOU, Dakkajet! Your post must have popped up while I was typing! Your planet sounds cool. It must be great to get to fight for the God-Emperor on His Day of Days!]
Anyway, I just realized I, like, totally failed to tell everybody about the 12 Days of Pogroms! (I'm such a sillyhead sometimes). On Emperor's Day, all the Frateris Militia do a parade, and they drink a LOT of special eggnog, and then they get really brave and chase some abhumans through the streets and beat them to death!
It's great for everybody because afterwards you can totally go into their houses (the abhumans' houses, silly, not the militia's!) and take whatever you want, because when an abhuman dies in a pogrom, he, like, totally forfeits all his stuff. (I don't remember exactly but that's totally a law somewhere, an Arbites even told me so once!) If you're smart, like I am, you can pterasquirrel away some cool gifts for next Emperor's Day! It sure beats going to the mall and fighting the big crowds with a broken pipe!
*stands aboard his flagship, the Vindicator of Faith, arrayed about him the combined might of the Imperial Navy.*
"It is by His Will that I decree Exterminatus upon the world of Kar'vahoth and consign uncounted souls unto oblivion, lost to His light. Let the Emperor's Justice account in all balance."
*Presses "The Button" and watches a planet shatter*.
"And now, Ten Forward will be hosting the Emperor's Day Feast for bridge and command staff. Enlisted personnel will have section celebrations by schedule in cargo holds five through nine."
Psienesis wrote: *stands aboard his flagship, the Vindicator of Faith, arrayed about him the combined might of the Imperial Navy.*
"It is by His Will that I decree Exterminatus upon the world of Kar'vahoth and consign uncounted souls unto oblivion, lost to His light. Let the Emperor's Justice account in all balance."
*Presses "The Button" and watches a planet shatter*.
"And now, Ten Forward will be hosting the Emperor's Day Feast for bridge and command staff. Enlisted personnel will have section celebrations by schedule in cargo holds five through nine."
Just as planned, now the Imperium of Man no longer believes my planet to exist...
All I have to do now is leave the exterminatus'd decoy where it is, and keep Kar'vahoth in the warp, where it's been for the past 5,000 years...
Well on my home world "enfield" we (the loyalists that is) enjoy roast grox served with the blood of the non mutated traitors and heretics. The day starts with every riflemen retrieving his Las-lock and 80 cartridges. Then we hunt some traitors until 1.00 for a light lunch, then have a driven Heathen shoot until 6.00 where we retire for dinner with tea, medals and pompous toasts of loyalty and honour. Got to honour the Emperor so you does, Says so in the scriptures so it does Sar!
We sculpt a statue of the Emperor in his prime, right down to every detail, so perfect it looks like the real deal... and then we cut off the head and put it in his crotch
We don't sit around on a planet, there's war to be done! But on the Emperor's Day, we gather on the Serpent's Revenge and sacrifice a suitable individual that we have captured beforehand. An Inquisitor, a Canoness, a Captain, whatever we find does not matter, all that matters is that they make nice sounds when mutilated, carved, chopped, stabbed, burned, castrated, partially liquified, and whatever we feel like.
We get really confused when the presents come, because all of them are addressed to Alpharius, but all (and none) of us are Alpharius. We usually take the names off and give them anonymously to random planets, but every time we come to politely ask what the presents were, the planet is besieged by Chaos Cults. It's really quite strange.
Then we paint a bunch of guys blue and a bunch of guys red and play fun games in the twisted halls of a Space Hulk. But then sometimes the guys get confused and wind up getting stuck in a Thunderhawk with some Ultramarines or Blood Angels, and we don't see them again for ages! We still get letters from Alpharius. The Ultramarines still haven't realised he's one of them, even though he's a Daemon Prince*.
*
Spoiler:
Reference to obscure ancient thread where someone posted a picture of their Ultramarines army with, inexplicably, a Daemon Prince at the fore.
Sometimes my bolter runs around and tries to pull down all the decorations. I knew it was a bad sign when it sprouted legs and eyes, but I can't bring myself to get rid of the thing. I call it Steven and/or Alpharius.
The world of praetoria hunt large game at 6AM sharp. Give the slaves a 30 minute break at 10:AM. After lunch they do double marches from 1:00PM till 4:00pm to get the discipline back in the troops (and work off that excess tea and crumpet consumption). To top off the celebration they then play that weird horse golf game until dinner which is at 6:00PM.
End of Celebration. The next year is spent rebreeding the animals lost in the hunt.
We celebrate Emperor's Day by having a massive homoerotic orgy of sparring, dueling, dueling while sparring, and naked greeko-roman mud-wrestling. The celebration ends with everyone playing the knockout game, and the last person still conscious has to clean up all the mess.
We subvert the followers of his zombie religion who blindly follow their evil overlords to come over to the greater good where technology is not feared.
On Cadia we load our Basilisks with cultists and shoot them at Chaos Space Marines. You'd be surprised how much damage spikes do when flying at such speeds.
On Heimat, there are massive feast and assorted war games, where captured enemies of the Emperor are forced to fight each other to the death. Also great idea for a thread.
Planet-wide celebrations of the Emperor's divinity, of course. Customarily, these celebrations take the form of singing (Ecclesiarchial-approved hymns only) dancing (Ecclesiarchial-approved dances only) and prayers (to the Emperor only).
Any citizen found not to be celebrating shall be visited by His most holy Battle Sisters and forced to celebrate at gunpoint, before being publically burned at the stake as heretics. We simply cannot tolerate those who lack that Emperor's Day spirit, after all.
Also, there are far too many heretics in this thread. Would you all kindly provide the co-ordinates of your respective planets so that a holy crusade against them can be scheduled?
Even we here at the Chaos Marine Warband Hq (Space Hulk No. 85475 - Machinations Of Betrayal) love Emperor's Day, and allow our Soldiers to shout "FOR THE EMPEROR" in battle for one day. (It is really fun, and confused our enemies to no end!) After that of course, we round up all the loyalists and hold a heresy trial were THEY are burned for worshiping The False Emperor! (Guardsmen armor burns the best! )
SkavenLord wrote: Wondering how in the world I went from Skavenblight to some weird city with tall buildings and large statues. I think I'm lost.
Oh hey! There are some of those man-things there! Odd... they look kind of blue.
Maybe they will tell me where I am?
Poor little fuzzy guy! Have some cake. Yes, eat it all up, who's a good abhuman? Yes you are! The Emperor loves you too, just not as much as real people.
[out of character: always had a soft spot for Skaven.... so much so that I, um, sort of cross-bred them with Pikachu and badgers for this fantasy world I'm working on with my wife...]
Schrott has a long tradition of community feasts. members of villages and towns would come together to create a feast for all of them and celebrate Emperor's Day together and if they can give gifts to each other (usually hand crafted weapons, armor, etc).
In the larger cities, which are downed space craft converted into cities, usually depending on the earnings of the families will stay home, inviting friends over to celebrate. Mechanicus adepts who live on Schrott have an Omnissiah's day of sorts. While they don't Feast in the way the others do they go about creating gifts for each other (often trying to out do each other, which leads to many grand creations that might end up in service of the 91st)
Lights are strung around buildings and such to commemorate those who have fallen in battle for the Imperium (91st or not) with a few other decorations usually revolving around the machines fallen in service alongside the men (mostly in the form of ornately decorated pieces parts such as exhaust pipes, guns etc)
Course it doesn't help if the marauders come by and ruin the parties. but thankfully they often stay away when the towns people are all gathered together as each one is armed...
the Planet of Fellsskogar holds its annual highly illegal racing rallies, all the minor techpriests break out their fastest and most dangerous rides in order to compete in the famous redline competition.
This practice is highly dangerous and frowned upon by the arbites, any and all racers are immediately fired upon immensely adding to the danger of the race.
The winner is said to have the emperor on his side and is hidden from the higher authorities, while having the honor for the rest of the year to produce attack bikes for the Astartes chapter in the nearby region (under the table of course)
On... on Emperor's Day, every member of the Order, no matter where in the galaxy they are, stops and holds a vigil, reaffirming our vows to complete his great Work. The day after Emperor's Day, we leave our work for a day to walk amongst the populace and teach them what we can of the Emperor, and of the teachings of Saint Raul.
Selym wrote:
Just as planned, now the Imperium of Man no longer believes my planet to exist...
All I have to do now is leave the exterminatus'd decoy where it is, and keep Kar'vahoth in the warp, where it's been for the past 5,000 years...
Sniggers at the gravely mistaken Nurglitch fool, whose decoy and true planet spontaneously (one might even say 'chaotically') swapped places half a second before the exterminatus hit.
Incidentally, on Eldritch, we tend to have a large ritual ceremony to gather all of the hope-energy produced by nearby Ultramar (it's only on the other side of Van Grothe's Rapidity) and feed it to the Lord Changer.
Every year on Emperor's day we use the captives which were supposed to go to Sister of battle convents, Commisars and other Imperial institutions and offer them to slaneesh in the most glorious way that make look Hellraiser, Event Horizon and Gwar look lika a Disney Production!
Hail Slaneesh!
Selym wrote:
Just as planned, now the Imperium of Man no longer believes my planet to exist...
All I have to do now is leave the exterminatus'd decoy where it is, and keep Kar'vahoth in the warp, where it's been for the past 5,000 years...
Sniggers at the gravely mistaken Nurglitch fool, whose decoy and true planet spontaneously (one might even say 'chaotically') swapped places half a second before the exterminatus hit.
Well on Fenris we have a great honking slugfest of a mead drinking contest, then we all gather round and tell tales of how we all have made the up thigthy Administratum fools squirm in rage over our deviant ways. Then afterwards we go loot the a suitebal Adeptus Soriatias convetn and play plug the gap with the nuns
Trondheim wrote: Well on Fenris we have a great honking slugfest of a mead drinking contest, then we all gather round and tell tales of how we all have made the up thigthy Administratum fools squirm in rage over our deviant ways. Then afterwards we go loot the a suitebal Adeptus Soriatias convetn and play plug the gap with the nuns
Assuming that the latter part of that is a hallucination brought on by too much fenrisian ale, how is that any different from any other day on Fenris?
Here at Ordo Chronos, we have just started to celebrate Emperor Day for about two years. Each day now we go back in time and remove a Primarch who has betrayed the Emperor. So far we have wipe out two from existance.
Ordo Chronos: the only people who can see you didn't really like your present and go back in time to buy you something else instead. Also they have to keep their kids from going forward in time to peek and spoil the surprise.... My head hurts now.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Furyou Miko wrote: On... on Emperor's Day, every member of the Order, no matter where in the galaxy they are, stops and holds a vigil, reaffirming our vows to complete his great Work. The day after Emperor's Day, we leave our work for a day to walk amongst the populace and teach them what we can of the Emperor, and of the teachings of Saint Raul...
That's, like, totally inspiring. But, uh, you don't kill anybody on Emperor's Day? Anybody at all? Not even a little?
I mean, I guess you guys get to kill heretics and traitors and mutants and xenos the other 364 days of the year, but Emperor's Day without executions is like -- gosh, I dunno -- breakfast without recaf, I guess, or going an entire day without even a single moment of gut-clenching terror.
Aboard the Doomstrider we hang stockings along the plasma heat exchangers, drink hot cider made from the terran apples in the arborium and exchange presents worth more than the tithes of some imperial worlds.
The crew is allowed shore leave and each given 50 thrones to spend on whatever they like. And searched for weapons when they get back on the ship.
In our beautiful little world Mejis, we celebrate Emperor's Day humbly by lighting thousands of candles in the street. We also drink some mulled wine and sing hymnals approved by the Ecclesiarchy. The rich give a few presents to the poor, and everyone goes socialising on the illuminated streets (The candles, of course, are made from live heretics and mutants).
*In case there's any confusion, it's not the Doom Harvesters that celebrate Emperor's day, or even inhabit Kar'vahoth, rather it's a human populace, from which recruitments are made, and traitor regiments are taken.*
I think my planet shall start a new Emperor's day tradition:
Burn the Un-witch!
We find an Un-witch (Be'lakor damned heretic!), dump it in a warped hive city hell-hole, give it a 30 minute head start (and free running time), and then chase it down, hog roast it, and eat it.
One Un-witch hunt per hive spire! We have far too many rebel scum...
I assume you mean on Isha's Gift day? Emperor's Day doesn't translate in our language as we don't believe in a non-military singular leader holding a civilization of a billion planets in an iron hand...or Calgar's superhand...or whatever...
But we celebrate by lamenting on the prior century and what it meant for our cause in returning the Eldar to the glory days. Well, that and we play a lot of Apples to Apples. That gak is downright fun.
Isn't Apples to Apples heresy, tho? The REAL Imperium-approved version is "Skulls to Skulls," I'm pretty sure.
Atropamin wrote: In our beautiful little world Mejis, we celebrate Emperor's Day humbly by lighting thousands of candles in the street....(The candles, of course, are made from live heretics and mutants).
Oh, wow! I think I smell the sweet odor of burning heretic and AN AWESOME IDEA! Gonna ask our Preacher if we can do this in time for this year -- definitely next year tho!
(I won't be chairing our parish Emperor's Day Auxiliary Committee next year but I'll still be ON the committee of course!)
Trondheim wrote: Well on Fenris we have a great honking slugfest of a mead drinking contest, then we all gather round and tell tales of how we all have made the up thigthy Administratum fools squirm in rage over our deviant ways. Then afterwards we go loot the a suitebal Adeptus Soriatias convetn and play plug the gap with the nuns
Assuming that the latter part of that is a hallucination brought on by too much fenrisian ale, how is that any different from any other day on Fenris?
On this special day we also send pictures of ourselfs without armour to all our battle brothers! And well.....Since you asked. On this day we also take time to say sorry to all the space misonaries we blew in the last year
[out of character]
There's, um, a lot of homoerotic stuff going on with the Astartes, it seems. Not that I'm surprised but, um, guys, nobody wants to see you naked. Really.
Also I just realized that given the Sisters of Battle fetish a lot of fanboys seem to have in real life, in the actual WH40K universe there'd be people selling "Sexy Sororitas" costumes and even entire SOB-themed brothels..... Mmmm, so burnable.
[/out of character]
SisterSydney wrote: [out of character]
There's, um, a lot of homoerotic stuff going on with the Astartes, it seems. Not that I'm surprised but, um, guys, nobody wants to see you naked. Really.
Also I just realized that given the Sisters of Battle fetish a lot of fanboys seem to have in real life, in the actual WH40K universe there'd be people selling "Sexy Sororitas" costumes and even entire SOB-themed brothels..... Mmmm, so burnable.
[/out of character]
Well that's one thing I could join you with!
Doom Harvesters like to follow the path of entropy with Nurgle, they, too, just wanna watch the world burn
SisterSydney wrote: [out of character]
There's, um, a lot of homoerotic stuff going on with the Astartes, it seems. Not that I'm surprised but, um, guys, nobody wants to see you naked. Really.
Also I just realized that given the Sisters of Battle fetish a lot of fanboys seem to have in real life, in the actual WH40K universe there'd be people selling "Sexy Sororitas" costumes and even entire SOB-themed brothels..... Mmmm, so burnable.
[/out of character]
Denial will not save you wench! And besides you know you want to
(Out of characther)
You do realize that most of it if not all is done to poke fun at just that. And how awkward people get when its brougth up
Also I just realized that given the Sisters of Battle fetish a lot of fanboys seem to have in real life, in the actual WH40K universe there'd be people selling "Sexy Sororitas" costumes and even entire SOB-themed brothels..... Mmmm, so burnable.
Denial will not save you wench! And besides you know you want to
Want to BURN YOU TO DEATH for HERESY? Oh YES! YES! YES YES O GOD-EMPEROR YES YES YES... Wait that sounds wrong somehow.
(Out of characther) You do realize that most of it if not all is done to poke fun at just that. And how awkward people get when its brougth up
[out of character]As a male (despite my real name being Sydney, yes, it's odd), I am perfectly capable of acknowledging my own attraction to powerful, aggressive women is part of the appeal of the Sisters. And I'm capable of tapdancing on the edge of offensiveness myself....[/out of character]
Also I just realized that given the Sisters of Battle fetish a lot of fanboys seem to have in real life, in the actual WH40K universe there'd be people selling "Sexy Sororitas" costumes and even entire SOB-themed brothels..... Mmmm, so burnable.
Denial will not save you wench! And besides you know you want to
Want to BURN YOU TO DEATH for HERESY? Oh YES! YES! YES YES O GOD-EMPEROR YES YES YES... Wait that sounds wrong somehow.
[
Also I just realized that given the Sisters of Battle fetish a lot of fanboys seem to have in real life, in the actual WH40K universe there'd be people selling "Sexy Sororitas" costumes and even entire SOB-themed brothels..... Mmmm, so burnable.
Denial will not save you wench! And besides you know you want to
Want to BURN YOU TO DEATH for HERESY? Oh YES! YES! YES YES O GOD-EMPEROR YES YES YES... Wait that sounds wrong somehow.
[
thenoobbomb wrote: Ehh, well, we usually just protect the tanks with our bodies here on Korvax on Emperor's Day...
That rebel uprising really got us.
I've decided. I'll stick as a human from Kar'vahoth.
IC:
If you worshipped Be'lakor, this'd never have happened. He'd have called the Doom Harvesters in, and you could join us in fresh Un-witch flesh!
He's the reason of the uprising, heretic! It's already cost us two Leman Russ tanks!
*Voxcast on unnamed Inquisition ship*:
Let's just declare Exterminatus on this planet to light another light for the glory of the Golden Throne and in the remembrance of this most holy of days. Initiating sequence... start
*pause*
Well, that's it for today, lads.
Join us later on the bridge for freshly fried waffles, a nice bottle of amasec and a few cups of tanna. Some of the Sisters volunteered to sing a hymn or two.
Have a merry Emperor's Day! The Emperor protects!
thenoobbomb wrote: Ehh, well, we usually just protect the tanks with our bodies here on Korvax on Emperor's Day...
That rebel uprising really got us.
I've decided. I'll stick as a human from Kar'vahoth.
IC:
If you worshipped Be'lakor, this'd never have happened. He'd have called the Doom Harvesters in, and you could join us in fresh Un-witch flesh!
He's the reason of the uprising, heretic! It's already cost us two Leman Russ tanks!
*Voxcast on unnamed Inquisition ship*:
Let's just declare Exterminatus on this planet to light another light for the glory of the Golden Throne and in the remembrance of this most holy of days. Initiating sequence... start
*pause*
Well, that's it for today, lads.
Join us later on the bridge for freshly fried waffles, a nice bottle of amasec and a few cups of tanna. Some of the Sisters volunteered to sing a hymn or two.
Have a merry Emperor's Day! The Emperor protects!
Shame 'bout the Baneblade Regiments on ground, really...
OOC: I didn't realize we're starting a RP thread! ....
to you too! Yes, this is DEFINITELY an rp thread, everybody! Role playing is totes an important part of worshipping the God-Emperor on my planet. We take fun seriously tho, so don't bring unpainted models if you don't want 40 lashes!
The preachers even tell us that when He walked among mortals unrecognized, way back in M3 or something, the God-Emperor Himself loved to play games of roleplaying and strategy, especially some game with little blue army men and buckets full of dice. They say it's where He got some of His best ideas!
[out of character]I -- huh -- my in character persona already replied to your OOC question. That's -- huh. Or maybe she's the one roleplaying ME? I don't -- I don't know what's real anymore! O God O God O God [/out of character -- or is it???]
Trondheim wrote: Whats a litle bit of heresy between friends in this special season?
You're right. *Chinks a mug of ale with you*
Let's burn the Un-witch together!
Ah, Emperor's day, The one day a year chaos and loyalists come together in their common love of alcohol! Now is only I could remove this helmet... Friggin Mutations...
OOC: I didn't realize we're starting a RP thread! ....
to you too! Yes, this is DEFINITELY an rp thread, everybody! Role playing is totes an important part of worshipping the God-Emperor on my planet. We take fun seriously tho, so don't bring unpainted models if you don't want 40 lashes!
The preachers even tell us that when He walked among mortals unrecognized, way back in M3 or something, the God-Emperor Himself loved to play games of roleplaying and strategy, especially some game with little blue army men and buckets full of dice. They say it's where He got some of His best ideas!
[out of character]I -- huh -- my in character persona already replied to your OOC question. That's -- huh. Or maybe she's the one roleplaying ME? I don't -- I don't know what's real anymore! O God O God O God [/out of character -- or is it???]
IC:
You seem to be having some identity troubles, I shall consult my psychologist.
...
Yes, indeed... He says you've been part of a heretic cult for too long. You should learn the ways of Be'lakor
Trondheim wrote: Whats a litle bit of heresy between friends in this special season?
You're right. *Chinks a mug of ale with you*
Let's burn the Un-witch together!
Ah, Emperor's day, The one day a year chaos and loyalists come together in their common love of alcohol! Now is only I could remove this helmet... Friggin Mutations...
I have a mag cutter and a straw. Problem solved, merry Corpse-God day!
Glorious Concordia, manufactorum world in Segmentum Tempestus, celebrates Emperor's Day by increasing the output quota of her continent-sized manufactories by 20%, and then by meeting it.
It's an ancient model, derived from the price practices of an ancient Terran organization known to us only as The Workshop.
Unit1126PLL wrote: Glorious Concordia, manufactorum world in Segmentum Tempestus, celebrates Emperor's Day by increasing the output quota of her continent-sized manufactories by 20%, and then by meeting it.
It's an ancient model, derived from the price practices of an ancient Terran organization known to us only as The Workshop.
Could Kar'vahoth take an order of 47.3 baneblades to-go?
Unit1126PLL wrote: Glorious Concordia, manufactorum world in Segmentum Tempestus, celebrates Emperor's Day by increasing the output quota of her continent-sized manufactories by 20%, and then by meeting it.
It's an ancient model, derived from the price practices of an ancient Terran organization known to us only as The Workshop.
Could Kar'vahoth take an order of 47.3 baneblades to-go?
Baneblades are made on Forge Worlds, you fool! Our Writ of Trade only covers Leman Russ tanks, Chimeras, and Lasguns (and the relevant weapon systems).
I like to bask in the glow of a burning world that once had great knowledge and power at its disposal, said world also belonged to some random smuck that tried to tell the Allfather about the devious ways of a certain arch heretic! Those where the good times
Trondheim wrote: I like to bask in the glow of a burning world that once had great knowledge and power at its disposal, said world also belonged to some random smuck that tried to tell the Allfather about the devious ways of a certain arch heretic! Those where the good times
*hands you a barrel of ale*
I agree. Damn heretics.
Thou shallst not infect me with thy disgustingly heretic ways, illnesses, mutations, perversions and opinions of fun!
Strength through purity, purity through faith. The Emperor Protects! I shall smite and purge thee from this universe, and then I shall continue with all the rotten, stinking scum that pollutes the glorious Imperium of Man! If I should die, i will do so with the light of the Golden Throne shining upon my soul!
[out of character]
Somone has to celebrate the Emperor's Day, how it is meant to be... At least I let my little guys rather die by the hands of a servant of Nurgle, than by any other heretic.
[/ooc]
Atropamin wrote: Thou shallst not infect me with thy disgustingly heretic ways, illnesses, mutations, perversions and opinions of fun!
Strength through purity, purity through faith. The Emperor Protects! I shall smite and purge thee from this universe, and then I shall continue with all the rotten, stinking scum that pollutes the glorious Imperium of Man! If I should die, i will do so with the light of the Golden Throne shining upon my soul!
"We shall destroy the rebel scum, we shall show them the meaning of righteous fury! Slaughter for Be'lakor! Die in HIS name!" - Commissar Valgrad at the 293rd Lansharks' Bloodrend.
Bloodrend:
verb
1) The initiation process of a regiment from the planet Kar'vahoth, wherein every serviceman runs 5km through ashen wastelands over to the entrance to a rebel-held hive city whilst their god, Be'lakor forces the rebels to cease fire. Upon reaching the Hive, the servicemen use improvised explosives to break through the gates. Once theyy have entered the Hive, the must spend the next 24 hours murdering every rebel they can find, and destroy as much of the city as possible.
A Bloodrend typically occurs every 50 terran years, to end the training of a new Landsharks regiment. The Hive is subsequently rebuilt, and repopulated at the behest of Be'lakor, who imports millions of kidnapped humans from the Imperium to do so.
The average rebel death toll is numbered somewhere between 30 and 40 million.
Atropamin wrote: Thou shallst not infect me with thy disgustingly heretic ways, illnesses, mutations, perversions and opinions of fun!
Strength through purity, purity through faith. The Emperor Protects! I shall smite and purge thee from this universe, and then I shall continue with all the rotten, stinking scum that pollutes the glorious Imperium of Man! If I should die, i will do so with the light of the Golden Throne shining upon my soul!
[out of character]
Somone has to celebrate the Emperor's Day, how it is meant to be... At least I let my little guys rather die by the hands of a servant of Nurgle, than by any other heretic.
[/ooc]
You know, if you adopted the Creedo Omnissiah, you would have to worry less about corruption.
Never forget the Litany of Protection:
From the Weakness of the Mind, Omnissiah save us. (Protection from our own internal failures in the eyes of the Machine)
From the Lies of the Antipath, Circuit preserve us. (Protection from the lies and deceptions of Tzeench)
From the Rage of the Beast, Iron protect us. (Protection from the unrelenting fury of Khorne)
From the Temptations of the Fleshlord, Silica cleanse us. (Protection from the overstimulated pleasure of Slaanesh)
From the Ravages of the Destroyer, Anima shield us. (Protection from the time and illness induced decay of Nurgle)
From this rotting cage of Bio-Matter, Machine God set us free! (Plea for assistance from the universal Machine!)
And never forget the Admonishment:
There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.
There is no strength in flesh, only weakness.
There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.
There is no certainty in flesh, but death.
Trondheim wrote: I like to bask in the glow of a burning world that once had great knowledge and power at its disposal, said world also belonged to some random smuck that tried to tell the Allfather about the devious ways of a certain arch heretic! Those where the good times
*hands you a barrel of ale*
I agree. Damn heretics.
I was refering to the burning of Prospero... I do enjoy killing the nerdy ones of this universe of ours
Compared to gak that the Imperial Bureaucracy Departmento Munitorum asks for, 47.3 is actually a NUMBER.
This. So much this. One mistranscription of one requisition and suddenly an entire planet is scratching their heads over how to build
ITEM: ten million
COLOR: Mark 3B91 widget
NUMBER: blue
knowing full well what it is SUPPOSED to mean but also knowing full well that if they don't fulfill the request exactly AS WRITTEN, they'll all be hanged.
OOC: I didn't realize we're starting a RP thread! ....
to you too! Yes, this is DEFINITELY an rp thread, everybody! Role playing is totes an important part of worshipping the God-Emperor on my planet. We take fun seriously tho, so don't bring unpainted models if you don't want 40 lashes!
The preachers even tell us that when He walked among mortals unrecognized, way back in M3 or something, the God-Emperor Himself loved to play games of roleplaying and strategy, especially some game with little blue army men and buckets full of dice. They say it's where He got some of His best ideas!
[out of character]I -- huh -- my in character persona already replied to your OOC question. That's -- huh. Or maybe she's the one roleplaying ME? I don't -- I don't know what's real anymore! O God O God O God [/out of character -- or is it???]
IC:
You seem to be having some identity troubles....
Considering my regiment doesn't have a planet anymore - (Came from the Gryphonne system, planets II and III) - they've made up new traditions to celebrate Emperor's Day.
The 'Lone Gryphonnes play these games -
Conkers with Hormagaunt skulls.
Poker with Carnifex Chitin Chips.
Football with Ripper Balls (sometimes results in injury).
Pin the tail on the warrior (also sometimes results in injury).
The Emperor's Day feast is a choice of -
Ravener Fillet and Chips
Termagaunt Steaks
Stuffed Shrike
Otto Weston wrote: Considering my regiment doesn't have a planet anymore - (Came from the Gryphonne system, planets II and III) - they've made up new traditions to celebrate Emperor's Day.
The 'Lone Gryphonnes play these games -
Conkers with Hormagaunt skulls.
Poker with Carnifex Chitin Chips.
Football with Ripper Balls (sometimes results in injury).
Pin the tail on the warrior (also sometimes results in injury).
The Emperor's Day feast is a choice of -
Ravener Fillet and Chips
Termagaunt Steaks
Stuffed Shrike
If you had any Orks, you could also have some veggies!
Is it an artifact?! Oh, we're not going to have to Archive her, are we?
I'm afraid so. Ne, Sister Sydney, you want to know why we don't kill anyone on Emperor's Day..?
It's not like it's a secret. We're an Order Pronatus.
IC: I'm FINE, really. And I still think you ought to kill at least oneheretic, mutant, traitor, or something in the Emperor's Honor on His Day of Days, Order Ponatus or not.
OOC: I don't think she even knows what the Order Pronatus -- Pronatus with an "r" -- IS.
Other OOC: Ahem, didn't you just have to Google it yourself?
OOC: You stay out of this! Anyway -- anyway -- where was I?
IC: Being condescending.
OOC: You stay out of this , too! ANYWAY, I don't think the IC persona is Sororitas at all. I imagine her as just an ordinary Imperial subject, maybe more pious than most, certainly more enthusiastic (maybe even a genki girl), and frankly a little dim.
IC: Hey!
OOC 2: Yeah, man, not cool. She's right there.
OOC: No she's NOT. She's not even REAL.
IC: Am too.
OOC: How are you even able to perceive me? I. MADE. YOU. UP.
Third OOC (strolling in): Well, when you think about, aren't all the personas we show the world, even the way we imagine ourselves, "made up"?
OOC 2: Hey, Three!
OOC 3: Hi, Two.
OOC: Where did YOU come from?
OOC 2 (ignoring him): You brought coffee! Thanks.
OOC 3: No problem. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, do you really even know "the real you" in all its complexity? Think about Freud and the subconscious.
OOC: I'm going mad. This is madness.
OOC 2: Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!
OOC: We don't even like that movie. I mean, I don't even like that movie. The rest of you don't like or dislike anything, you're not even real.
IC: They're sure a lot nicer than you are.
OOC 2: Yeah, we're sorry about him.
OOC 3: Yeah. Do you want any coffee?
IC: Oh, no, I don't drink stimulants!
OOC: Gee, I wonder why.
OOC 2 & 3 (in unison): Be nice!
OOC 3: He really can be condescending. And he was out of line to call you "dim."
OOC 2: Yeah, you're just young.
IC: Excuse me, I am 22 Terran standard years old, I have had two lovely children for the Emperor, and I still make time to volunteer in my parish, thank you very much.
OOC 2: You have kids? Wow, I didn't expect that.
IC: I surprise a lot of people. I'm not to be underestimated!
OOC 3: And it's really unfair to judge your knowledge by OOC standards, the way the Imperium works, 90% of citizens know less about the secret goings-on than 90% of players, like how the Inquisition works and that Daemons exist...
INQUISITOR: Excuse me?
OOC: Oh this is ridiculous. I'm leaving.
INQUISITOR: You're not going anywhere.... And -- and isn't somebody going to say they didn't expect me?
OOC 2: Well, as soon as you showed up, we expected that joke.
INQUISITOR: Oh. [sad face] Well, anyway, this dialogue has gotten entirely too silly and metatextual, it's got to stop.
OOC 3: Ohhhh, so you're more like the British Colonel with a mustache who shows up when the Monty Python guys can't think of another way to end a skit!
OOC 2: Three is the smart one.
OOC 3: And Sydney pictures me as a red-haired woman, by the way.
Is it an artifact?! Oh, we're not going to have to Archive her, are we?
I'm afraid so. Ne, Sister Sydney, you want to know why we don't kill anyone on Emperor's Day..?
It's not like it's a secret. We're an Order Pronatus.
IC: I'm FINE, really. And I still think you ought to kill at least oneheretic, mutant, traitor, or something in the Emperor's Honor on His Day of Days, Order Ponatus or not.
OOC: I don't think she even knows what the Order Pronatus -- Pronatus with an "r" -- IS.
Other OOC: Ahem, didn't you just have to Google it yourself?
OOC: You stay out of this! Anyway -- anyway -- where was I?
IC: Being condescending.
OOC: You stay out of this , too! ANYWAY, I don't think the IC persona is Sororitas at all. I imagine her as just an ordinary Imperial subject, maybe more pious than most, certainly more enthusiastic (maybe even a genki girl), and frankly a little dim.
IC: Hey!
OOC 2: Yeah, man, not cool. She's right there.
OOC: No she's NOT. She's not even REAL.
IC: Am too.
OOC: How are you even able to perceive me? I. MADE. YOU. UP.
Third OOC (strolling in): Well, when you think about, aren't all the personas we show the world, even the way we imagine ourselves, "made up"?
OOC 2: Hey, Three!
OOC 3: Hi, Two.
OOC: Where did YOU come from?
OOC 2 (ignoring him): You brought coffee! Thanks.
OOC 3: No problem. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, do you really even know "the real you" in all its complexity? Think about Freud and the subconscious.
OOC: I'm going mad. This is madness.
OOC 2: Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!
OOC: We don't even like that movie. I mean, I don't even like that movie. The rest of you don't like or dislike anyway, you're not even real.
IC: They're sure a lot nicer than you are.
OOC 2: Yeah, we're sorry about him.
OOC 3: Yeah. Do you want any coffee?
IC: Oh, no, I don't drink stimulants!
OOC: Gee, I wonder why.
OOC 2 & 3 (in unsigned): Be nice!
OOC 3: He really can be condescending. And he was out of line to call you "dim."
OOC 2: Yeah, you're just young.
IC: Excuse me, I am 22 Terran standard years old, I have had two lovely children for the Emperor, and I still make time to volunteer in my parish, thank you very much.
OOC 2: You have kids? Wow, I didn't expect that.
IC: I surprise a lot of people. I'm not to be underestimated!
OOC 3: And it's really unfair to judge your knowledge by OOC standards, the way the Imperium works, 90% of citizens know less about the secret goings-on than 90% of players, like how the Inquisition works and that Daemons exist...
INQUISITOR: Excuse me?
OOC: Oh this is ridiculous. I'm leaving.
INQUISITOR: You're not going anywhere.... And -- and isn't somebody going to say they didn't expect me?
OOC 2: Well, as soon as you showed up, we expected that joke.
INQUISITOR: Oh. [sad face] Well, anyway, this dialogue has gotten entirely too silly and metatextual, it's got to stop.
OOC 3: Ohhhh, so you're more like the British Colonel with a mustache who shows up when the Monty Python guys can't think of another way to end a skit!
OOC 2: Three is the smart one.
OOC 3: And Sydney pictures me as a red-haired woman, by the way.
We have no fealty to the Imperium or its failed Emperor, but we do something on Emperor's Day. The Witchers warband finds a rich world in hearty celebration, and we make a lightning strike to steal the most powerful gift on the world for our leader, Nemarian. The rest of us are free to take what baubles and trinkets we wish before extraction and retreat into the warp. We are still small in number, so we can typically raid a world multiple times before resistance is too heavy to risk obtaining an artefact. Nemarian very much likes Emperor's Day, even if he doesn't partake the way Imperials do.
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
That's not just a baneblade! That's a Baneblade with an Emperor Titan hiding behind it!
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
That's not just a baneblade! That's a Baneblade with an Emperor Titan hiding behind it!
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
That's not just a baneblade! That's a Baneblade with an Emperor Titan hiding behind it!
Hory sheet!
CREEEEEEED!
OH LORD! Behind the titan is... ANOTHER LAMPPOST!
Creedception!
And now, for our most holy Emperor's Day Carol!
"Silent night, soon to be light
All is calm, all is right
'Round yon virgin , mother and child
Holy infant so, tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep until I get my gun..."
EVIL INC wrote: On our world, we work just as any other day.
The Emperor prefers results rather than parties.
The only correct answer. The only Emperor-approved way to celebrate is by working even harder for His glory. Work earns Salvation.
Happiness is but a delusion of the weak.
True Happiness stems only from Duty.
EVIL INC wrote: On our world, we work just as any other day.
The Emperor prefers results rather than parties.
The only correct answer. The only Emperor-approved way to celebrate is by working even harder for His glory. Work earns Salvation.
Happiness is but a delusion of the weak.
True Happiness stems only from Duty.
EVIL INC wrote: On our world, we work just as any other day.
The Emperor prefers results rather than parties.
The only correct answer. The only Emperor-approved way to celebrate is by working even harder for His glory. Work earns Salvation.
Happiness is but a delusion of the weak.
True Happiness stems only from Duty.
And most importantly:
Heresy grows from idleness.
We're totally not idle! We spend days making decorations -- even the little kids cut out beautiful aquilas and skulls and =I= symbols and then they decorate them with crayons and glitter (the glue gets everywhere; it's made from executed prisoners and kind of smells) -- and then we have to put them up all over the shrine and the main street and the gallows and the city walls and the lascannon batteries.... It's exhausting just to think about it! And I'm chairing the parish committee this year so I have to think about ALL of it!!
So, gosh, people, making guns isn't the ONLY kind of work we can do to glorify our God-Emperor!
Automatically Appended Next Post: I mean, obviously making war materiel is the most important work we can do to glorify Him, but a Sister's bolter isn't the same without a fleur-de-lis, and a factory planet isn't the same without a little Emperor's Day decoration!
I mean, obviously making war materiel is the most important work we can do to glorify Him, but a Sister's bolter isn't the same without a fleur-de-lis, and a factory planet isn't the same without a little Emperor's Day decoration!
We put skulls on trees It's quite fun, as we often end up with various colours of skulls around here... blues, red, yellow, white...
On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Impossible, it was a guy
Oh..
Oh-
Oh!
*wide eyes*
Oh, gods!
*shudder*
If you need a description:
He is a man in his 90s, but good in shape, about 2 metres in height, broad shoulders, with arms like tree trunks. He dresses entirely in a dark crimson and wears his white hair and beard long.
[singing] And he knows if you are sleeping, and he knows if you're awake, and he knows if you've been bad or good, so I beg you lest you be burned to death or tortured until your final breath to be good for goodness sake!
Ohhhhhhh
You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry out against the fundamental injustice of your life Inquisitor Sandy is coming to your planet! [/singing]
That's one of my favorite Emperor's Day Carols. Back when I was only six standard Terran years, we were lucky enough to have a visit from the Inquisitor once -- and super lucky that only one hive city was found "naughty" and blown up! When he came to our hive he just brought presents for all the good little kids who informed on their parents (like me! Daddy and me still joke about his five years in the labor camp!) and burned the naughty ones until they were basically lumps of coal. We still celebrate that day as a worldwide holiday!
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Impossible, it was a guy
Oh..
Oh-
Oh!
*wide eyes*
Oh, gods!
*shudder*
If you need a description:
He is a man in his 90s, but good in shape, about 2 metres in height, broad shoulders, with arms like tree trunks. He dresses entirely in a dark crimson and wears his white hair and beard long.
Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor? Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!
Atropamin wrote: Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!
Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!
Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...
Atropamin wrote: Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!
Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!
Your argument is invalid, prepare to be purged. In the name of the holy Inquisition, we shall never listen to heretics and their lies. BURN THEM ALL! The Emperor will know his own.
Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...
More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.
Atropamin wrote: Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!
Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!
Your argument is invalid, prepare to be purged. In the name of the holy Inquisition, we shall never listen to heretics and their lies. BURN THEM ALL! The Emperor will know his own.
Ha! You spoke to a "heretic" and listened to my words about the warp dust! Now who's being heretical?
Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...
More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.
I think that little stunt actually earned her a promotion. I was very much at the party. I think I was still off my tits though, because I seem to recall there being something to do with a Bloodthirster and a Jock Strap... What's a jock?
Atropamin wrote: Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!
Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!
Your argument is invalid, prepare to be purged. In the name of the holy Inquisition, we shall never listen to heretics and their lies. BURN THEM ALL! The Emperor will know his own.
Ha! You spoke to a "heretic" and listened to my words about the warp dust! Now who's being heretical?
I have an Inquisitorial permit to read a few heretical statements in order to pass judgement properly.
Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...
More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.
I think that little stunt actually earned her a promotion. I was very much at the party. I think I was still off my tits though, because I seem to recall there being something to do with a Bloodthirster and a Jock Strap... What's a jock?
either a sportive person or a scotsman... both are equally disturbing options, little heretic. It is good you do not remember everything...
Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...
More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.
I think that little stunt actually earned her a promotion. I was very much at the party. I think I was still off my tits though, because I seem to recall there being something to do with a Bloodthirster and a Jock Strap... What's a jock?
either a sportive person or a scotsman... both are equally disturbing options, little heretic. It is good you do not remember everything...
Oh, now I remember!
#++#/INQUISITORIAL AUTHORITIES HAVE INTERCEPTED THIS TRANSMISSION > HAVE OMITTED SENSITIVE INFORMATION\#++#
There was [...] Daemonette [...] bucket of [...] onto the fire. Then I [...] with the Bloodthirster, who [...] with the [...] on my [...] and [...] daemon.
[...]
After that, I snorted [...] to [...].
[...] cake.
After that round, we went to get some food. And I can tell you, when you're high on warp dust and [...], everything tastes like [...], so you know that I [...] it.
[...]
And there you have it.
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
No worries! *points you to macragge*
What that vile infidel said... (who needs those smurfs anyway?)
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
No worries! *points you to macragge*
What that vile infidel said... (who needs those smurfs anyway?)
Ward?
He's a bigger heretic than the entire Imperium put together.
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
No worries! *points you to macragge*
What that vile infidel said... (who needs those smurfs anyway?)
Ward?
He's a bigger heretic than the entire Imperium put together.
I agree, he is worse than all the forces of Chaos.
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
No worries! *points you to macragge*
Just please ensure you approach from the galactic south... there are some very not tasty things in the way from the north, like my library, which is populated mostly by empty suits of armour and inedible daemons that will reduce your biomass without offering any chance for recovery.
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
No worries! *points you to macragge*
Hmm.... Do you know of any other places that don't happen to have bad sushi? We had some cousins stop by there one time, and they didn't recommend a return visit.
Unyielding Hunger wrote: Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.
No worries! *points you to macragge*
Hmm.... Do you know of any other places that don't happen to have bad sushi? We had some cousins stop by there one time, and they didn't recommend a return visit.
*points you at Terra*
There's no sushi there, they have loads of tin cans though.
Oh, well, if it's fish you want, then you want to be aiming a little higher than Macragge. I suggest the xeno empire just to the north of there, on the other side of the V.G. rapidity. Best angle of attack would be from the galactic east though, so if you're in the southeastern plane then it might be easier to go for beef instead and head to Gryphonne.
Furyou Miko wrote: Oh, well, if it's fish you want, then you want to be aiming a little higher than Macragge. I suggest the xeno empire just to the north of there, on the other side of the V.G. rapidity. Best angle of attack would be from the galactic east though, so if you're in the southeastern plane then it might be easier to go for beef instead and head to Gryphonne.
I think they're trying to avoid the sushi.
Which is understandable.
Emperor Day is a revered holiday on the homeworld. All the loyalists are gathered up and fused via warp magic into a single massive flesh effigy of the Emperor which is then burned to the ground.
Chaos Astartes often can be seen line dancing with daemonettes as Noise Marines provide free complimentary music and 'health solutions' that may or may not be made from ground up bloodletters seasoned with the harvested tears of an unlucky eldar.
There's also cake with a daemonette hiding inside.
Remember, this is a "family" site and young children maybe reading these threads.
while the game is about bloodthirsty slaughter, sexual explicitness is not appropriate. true, the game has slannesh, but i have seen the parents of some of the younger players forbid the kids to use slannesh armies and I have even seen a slannesh army "banned" from a store due it's explicitness.
EVIL INC wrote: Remember, this is a "family" site and young children maybe reading these threads.
40k is almost entirely comprised of vicious bloody slaughter, daemon worship and unspeakable acts of evil.
The posts here are actually quite appropriate.
Furyou Miko wrote: Oh, well, if it's fish you want, then you want to be aiming a little higher than Macragge. I suggest the xeno empire just to the north of there, on the other side of the V.G. rapidity. Best angle of attack would be from the galactic east though, so if you're in the southeastern plane then it might be easier to go for beef instead and head to Gryphonne.
I think they're trying to avoid the sushi.
Which is understandable.
Oh yes, we avoid anything blue or even remotely looking like fish. We carry a rather large number of Carnifex with us, and it's so hard to be taken seriously when you come through these long voyages and descend to a new planet to meet the neighbors and your entire diplomatic corps is covered in Carnifex bio-plasma because someone was feeling sick and couldn't reach the digestion pool in time.
Selym wrote: Were you the ones who graffitied the whole Eye of Terror?
No. That was... er... the eldar?
Something really fun we've tried the last few years is have someone dress up as Inquisitor Sandy and a bunch of other "volunteers" dress up as his Eldar helpers. Then, after he's given out forms to all the children, he turns on them and kills them all with fire! It's always hilarious to see their surprised faces because we get prisoners from a different facility each year so they don't know what happened to the last set.....
CANDLES!I DONT CARE WHO DA ZOG YOU IS,FEEL DA MIGHT OF DA SKULLHAMMA!AND DA ORKQUISITION!ORKO UNORKY,NOTGREENENUFF AND WEIRDSTUFF!While Iz at it might as well send da grey nobs and the orkquisitorial stormboyz.DIS IS GUNNA BE A GUD FIGHT!AND WAAAGHMAS!YOUZ GOING TER BE DECERASHUNS ON ME WAAGHMAS,LEAF COVERED CLUB!
On my craftworld, we do not celebrate "Emperors Day". We celebrate a holiday for eight days and nights, where we remember the miracle of a single Autarch holding off a Daemon invasion, when he should not have survived but one.
On Voskot III, we celebrate Emperor day with sled rides drawn by our Leman Russ's so that all of our children will be inspired to join the guard one day! After that, we have our Commisars dress in red great cloaks and hand out stories about how glorious the Emperor is and how his armies spread his light across the galaxy! At the end of the night, we gather the children and teach them marching songs! Oh, what a wonderful day!
SisterSydney wrote: Silent night, holy night
heretics all freeze with fright...
Have to go get the kids suited up for the pageant in a minute! I have spent DAYS working on their little Redemptionist outfits.....
An Emperor's day pageant? Will there be an astropathic choir singing in the background?
Heh. Imperials amuse me. I listen to the dying screams of your kind on Emperor's day.
Speaking of which, The Doom Harvesters are planning another seasonal raid on Calth, anyone wanna join in? All you need to do is pit your army against either the IG or the UM before New Year!
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Furyou Miko wrote: It seems that this year, I celebrate Emperor's Day in the darkness, cut off from outside contact.
I've managed to kick a single noospheric connection into gear, but it's flickering weakly. All of the hardlines are down.
Pray for us, Sisters. I fear that out investigation has unearthed something terrible as storms wrack this island!
SisterSydney wrote: Have to go get the kids suited up for the pageant in a minute! I have spent DAYS working on their little Redemptionist outfits.....
An Emperor's day pageant? Will there be an astropathic choir singing in the background?
Wow! What an AWESOME idea for next year! I totally bet we can get some, nobody ever invites the poor guys to anything....
Selym wrote:Heh. Imperials amuse me. I listen to the dying screams of your kind on Emperor's day.
Well -- well, when we die, our souls go to join the God-Emperor, and you just burn in warp-hell forever, so POO ON YOU!
[awkward silence]
[deep breath]
I'm sorry, I don't normally use bad language, it's just that I worked REALLY hard to make a nice thread and all these heretics and xenos keep mucking it up saying awful, AWFUL things and also I'm a little frazzled because it's 22:30 local time and I'm still cleaning up from the pageant and I haven't even got all the kids' presents wrapped because chairing the whole Auxiliary Committee is a LOT of work and Robert took the kids home but I bet he doesn't have them in bed yet, I bet he's let them have "one last treat" and now they're BOUNCING off the WALLS and I'm going to be up until 0430 before I get everything done and...
Out of Character #2: Slooooow down. Deep breath.
IC: I'm sorry.
Out of Character #3: Nothing to be sorry for. You've been working really hard.
OOC 2: Just go home. We'll finish up here.
IC: But -- but -- I'm chairing the Emperor's Day Auxiliary Committee, I can't...
OOC 3: I hereby proclaim myself chairwoman of the Clean-Up Subcommittee. Go home.
OOC 2: Seriously, we got this.
IC: You -- you guys are so nice! Not like that other OOC guy at all.
[If you're wondering what happened to Out of Character #1, I (whoever I am) refer you to this post for explanation/extirpation]
[IC hugs OOCs 2 & 3]
OOC 2: Uh, hey. Thanks.
IC: You guys are great!
OOC 3: You're great. Go home, honey.
[They watch her leave]
OOC 2: Okay, let's get all these paper-mache skulls down, they're creeping me out.
OOC 3: No argument.
OOC 2: "Happy Holidays Except To Heretics"? "Bells Ring And Traitors Swing"? She had kids paint all these banners? She's a nice girl...
OOC 3: Nice young woman with two kids.
OOC 2: Right, a nice young woman, but this stuff is seriously messed up.
OOC 3: This whole universe is messed up, Two.
OOC 2: So -- so why would anyone want to spend time here? I mean, as one imaginary entity to another, I have to ask, what's the point of a fictional reality this, um, grim and dark?
OOC 3: To show that, even in the darkest of dark ages, the light of the human spirit won't go out?
OOC 2: Bitch, please.
OOC 3: To show that even people who buy into horrific ideologies and assent to atrocities can still be redeemable human beings?
OOC 2: Still not buying it.
OOC 3: To make us grateful we don't live here?
OOC 2: Ok, that I can buy. Now let's get all this creepy crap down.
Do you hear it?.... The SOund of Drums!?.... THESE DAMN HERETICS ARE DOING ANOTHER INVASION...what is that sound? DEMONS? EMPEROR DELIVER US!
Get those incinerators ready and tell the Inquisition we're dealing with it... If they don't hear from us to-morrow, they should declare Exterminatus on Mejis I.
HAPPY EMPEROR'S DAY, EVERYONE
The Emperor protects!
In our war-torn subsector, The Emperor's Day celebration rites have been standardised for more spiritual activities to ensure the proper following of worshipping in His boundless honour. As the citizens of the remaining worlds make a great annual pilgrimage to the Chapter Homeplanet, the Astartes are finally seen in the public this year, taking part both in worship of the Icons of the Emperor, and handling the security with the local militia.
Failing to represent the proper incense gifts to His Icons results in immediate punishment. Expect an increase of taxes, citizens!
Da Gorkers wun da big scrap.All da weird boys turned into squigoffs!He he...dat was fun dat.We looted a marine boy deffnought and got dis fing...I fink its called:Big fight at black reach.And we got a few grotz.
On dis day ya oomie's call "Emperor's day", I call the boyz over and tell them to stay, then tempt dem with fungus beer and squig snacks to gather around the burning Rhino trakks
Dey sit round the fires and tell tales of fightin' Fight together, each other, and now then raise up their glasses and laugh in great haws And I tell dem the story of Warboss Santy Klaws
Twas the night before Orkmass, and all though the diggs Not a creature was stirring, not even da squiggs The sluggas were hung by the smoke stacks and glyphs In the hope that Warboss Stanty Klaws would come bearing gifts
The yoofs were all laid out all over the floor Likely dreaming of choppas and shootas and war Da Big meks were asleep in their large gubbin' stack I was still awake in my chambers, planning for our next attack
When out in the boonies I heard a great clash I jumped to the window, expecting a bash Looking up I saw such a sight AA dakkas firing maddly upward, the sky alight
From the muzzlefash of deff guns I did see A red painted buggy, nailed on rockets flying free Flying through the air like a deff kopta on crack With the large figure atop it pullin on the slack
A massive green Ork in red coat and iron gob A great Warboss, bellowing insult, not any nob Faster than dakka jets, pulled on by the rig by four angry, hungry, flying squigs
"On, Mangla! On Killa! Ya stupids gits!! "On, Burna! On Rippa! I'll blast ya ta bitz!! Get over dat wall, they can't hit worth a zog! I ain't got all night, you cowering dog!"
As shell casing from quad guns continued to rain He spun though the air, like a sideways hurricane, aiming for the roof top of our base he crash land he stepped out from the wreckage, a sack in one hand.
His boots stomped on roof, his squigs snarled and snap the sacked was filled with shootas and choppas all in wrap. I watched as he quiet his beasts with a massive thump and then he was down the chimney in a single jump.
He was plated in 'eavy armor, from feet to his head Boss pole packed with marine helmets, from chapters long dead One hand was a oversized power klaw, which held his bag And over it all was his red coat, which looked to be made from rag
His teef were plate in gold, his eyes red like fire Cybork parts all flash, setting couldn't go higher. The big shoota he carried was larger than I was The squigs hairs on his chin white, just because
He chomped on the lit cigar wedged in his teef Smoke filled da room, and into the floors beneath He gave a great laugh and headed to the stockings I didn't say a thing, I was too busy gawking
He was placing down presents while I was muckin' about he pulled out rokkit launchas and mega blastas that I doubt he could have in the bag, already bigger than I thought But he still had the room for shootas for even the small grot
Pleased with his work, he turned back to me thrusting mega armor in my arms, I fell to my knee He pulled on the cord to a rokkit pack that strain but with one last nod he was up the chimney again
He sprang to his buggy to his team he gave shout And away they all flew, to complete his route But I 'eard him exclaim, with a booming guffaw "Merry Orkmass to all, and to all a good WAAAAAAGH!"
Luke_Prowler wrote: On dis day ya oomie's call "Emperor's day",
I call the boyz over and tell them to stay,
then tempt dem with fungus beer and squig snacks
to gather around the burning Rhino trakks
Dey sit round the fires and tell tales of fightin'
Fight together, each other, and and now then
raise up their glasses and laugh in great haws
And I tell dem the story of great Warboss Santy Klaws
twas the night before Orkmass, and all though the diggs
Not a creature was stirring, not even da squiggs
The sluggas were hung by the smoke stacks and glyphs
In the hope that Warboss Stanty Klaws would come bearing gifts
The yoofs were all laid out all over the floor
Likely dreaming of choppas and shootas and war
Da Big meks were asleep in their large gubbin' stack
And I was still awake in my chambers, planning for our next attack
When out in the boonies I heard a great clash
I jumped to the window, expecting a bash
Looking up I saw such a sight
AA dakkas firing maddly upward, the sky alight
From the muzzlefash of deff guns I did see
A red painted buggy, nailed on rockets flying free
Flying through the air like a deff kopta on crack
With the large figure atop it pullin on the slack
A massive green Ork in red coat and iron gob
A great Warboss, bellowing insult, not any nob
Faster than dakka jets, pulled on by the rig
by a four angry, hungry, flying squigs
"On, Mangla! On Killa! Ya stupids gits!!
"On, Burna! On Rippa! I'll blast ya ta bitz!!
Get over dat wall, they can't hit worth a zog!
I ain't got all night, you cowering dog!"
As shell casing from quad guns continued to rain
He spun though the air, like a sideways hurricane,
aiming for the roof top of our base he crash land
he stepped out from the wreckage, a sack in one hand.
His boots stomped on roof, his squigs snarled and snap
the sacked was filled with shootas and choppas all in wrap.
I watched as he he quiet his beasts with a massive thump
and then he was down the chimney in a single jump.
He was plated in 'eavy armor, from feet to his head
Boss pole packed with marine helmets, from chapters long dead
One hand was a oversized power klaw, which held his bag
And over is all was his red coat, which looked to be made from rags
His teef were plate in gold, his eyes red like fire
Cybork parts all flash, setting couldn't go higher.
The big shoota he carried was larger than I was
The squigs hairs on his chin white, just because
He chomped on the lit cigar wedged in his teef
Smoke filled da room, and into the floors beneath
He gave a great laugh and headed to the stockings
I didn't say a thing, I was too busy gawking
He was placing down presents while I was muckin' about
he pulled out rokkit launchas and mega blastas that I doubt
he could have been bag, already bigger than I thought
But he still had the room for shootas for even the small grot
Pleased with his work, he turned back to me
thrusting mega armor in my arms, I fell to my knee
He pulled a the cord to a rokkit pack that strain
but with one last nod he was up the chimney again
He sprang to his buffy to his team he gave sound
And away they all flew, , to complete his route
But I 'eard him exclaim, with a booming guffaw
"Merry Orkmass to all, and to all a good WAAAAAAGH!"
Luke_Prowler wrote: On dis day ya oomie's call "Emperor's day",
I call the boyz over and tell them to stay,
then tempt dem with fungus beer and squig snacks
to gather around the burning Rhino trakks
Dey sit round the fires and tell tales of fightin'
Fight together, each other, and and now then
raise up their glasses and laugh in great haws
And I tell dem the story of great Warboss Santy Klaws
twas the night before Orkmass, and all though the diggs
Not a creature was stirring, not even da squiggs
The sluggas were hung by the smoke stacks and glyphs
In the hope that Warboss Stanty Klaws would come bearing gifts
The yoofs were all laid out all over the floor
Likely dreaming of choppas and shootas and war
Da Big meks were asleep in their large gubbin' stack
And I was still awake in my chambers, planning for our next attack
When out in the boonies I heard a great clash
I jumped to the window, expecting a bash
Looking up I saw such a sight
AA dakkas firing maddly upward, the sky alight
From the muzzlefash of deff guns I did see
A red painted buggy, nailed on rockets flying free
Flying through the air like a deff kopta on crack
With the large figure atop it pullin on the slack
A massive green Ork in red coat and iron gob
A great Warboss, bellowing insult, not any nob
Faster than dakka jets, pulled on by the rig
by a four angry, hungry, flying squigs
"On, Mangla! On Killa! Ya stupids gits!!
"On, Burna! On Rippa! I'll blast ya ta bitz!!
Get over dat wall, they can't hit worth a zog!
I ain't got all night, you cowering dog!"
As shell casing from quad guns continued to rain
He spun though the air, like a sideways hurricane,
aiming for the roof top of our base he crash land
he stepped out from the wreckage, a sack in one hand.
His boots stomped on roof, his squigs snarled and snap
the sacked was filled with shootas and choppas all in wrap.
I watched as he he quiet his beasts with a massive thump
and then he was down the chimney in a single jump.
He was plated in 'eavy armor, from feet to his head
Boss pole packed with marine helmets, from chapters long dead
One hand was a oversized power klaw, which held his bag
And over is all was his red coat, which looked to be made from rags
His teef were plate in gold, his eyes red like fire
Cybork parts all flash, setting couldn't go higher.
The big shoota he carried was larger than I was
The squigs hairs on his chin white, just because
He chomped on the lit cigar wedged in his teef
Smoke filled da room, and into the floors beneath
He gave a great laugh and headed to the stockings
I didn't say a thing, I was too busy gawking
He was placing down presents while I was muckin' about
he pulled out rokkit launchas and mega blastas that I doubt
he could have been bag, already bigger than I thought
But he still had the room for shootas for even the small grot
Pleased with his work, he turned back to me
thrusting mega armor in my arms, I fell to my knee
He pulled a the cord to a rokkit pack that strain
but with one last nod he was up the chimney again
He sprang to his buffy to his team he gave sound
And away they all flew, , to complete his route
But I 'eard him exclaim, with a booming guffaw
"Merry Orkmass to all, and to all a good WAAAAAAGH!"
Starts off with the casting of a spell to make a wondrous blizzard. Once that is done we praise the Great Conspirator, giving thanks for the tremendous power granted by him. Then the exchanging of magical tomes to increase our sorcerous might.
Luke_Prowler wrote: On dis day ya oomie's call "Emperor's day",
I call the boyz over and tell them to stay,
then tempt dem with fungus beer and squig snacks
to gather around the burning Rhino trakks
Dey sit round the fires and tell tales of fightin'
Fight together, each other, and and now then
raise up their glasses and laugh in great haws
And I tell dem the story of great Warboss Santy Klaws
twas the night before Orkmass, and all though the diggs
Not a creature was stirring, not even da squiggs
The sluggas were hung by the smoke stacks and glyphs
In the hope that Warboss Stanty Klaws would come bearing gifts
The yoofs were all laid out all over the floor
Likely dreaming of choppas and shootas and war
Da Big meks were asleep in their large gubbin' stack
And I was still awake in my chambers, planning for our next attack
When out in the boonies I heard a great clash
I jumped to the window, expecting a bash
Looking up I saw such a sight
AA dakkas firing maddly upward, the sky alight
From the muzzlefash of deff guns I did see
A red painted buggy, nailed on rockets flying free
Flying through the air like a deff kopta on crack
With the large figure atop it pullin on the slack
A massive green Ork in red coat and iron gob
A great Warboss, bellowing insult, not any nob
Faster than dakka jets, pulled on by the rig
by a four angry, hungry, flying squigs
"On, Mangla! On Killa! Ya stupids gits!!
"On, Burna! On Rippa! I'll blast ya ta bitz!!
Get over dat wall, they can't hit worth a zog!
I ain't got all night, you cowering dog!"
As shell casing from quad guns continued to rain
He spun though the air, like a sideways hurricane,
aiming for the roof top of our base he crash land
he stepped out from the wreckage, a sack in one hand.
His boots stomped on roof, his squigs snarled and snap
the sacked was filled with shootas and choppas all in wrap.
I watched as he he quiet his beasts with a massive thump
and then he was down the chimney in a single jump.
He was plated in 'eavy armor, from feet to his head
Boss pole packed with marine helmets, from chapters long dead
One hand was a oversized power klaw, which held his bag
And over is all was his red coat, which looked to be made from rags
His teef were plate in gold, his eyes red like fire
Cybork parts all flash, setting couldn't go higher.
The big shoota he carried was larger than I was
The squigs hairs on his chin white, just because
He chomped on the lit cigar wedged in his teef
Smoke filled da room, and into the floors beneath
He gave a great laugh and headed to the stockings
I didn't say a thing, I was too busy gawking
He was placing down presents while I was muckin' about
he pulled out rokkit launchas and mega blastas that I doubt
he could have been bag, already bigger than I thought
But he still had the room for shootas for even the small grot
Pleased with his work, he turned back to me
thrusting mega armor in my arms, I fell to my knee
He pulled a the cord to a rokkit pack that strain
but with one last nod he was up the chimney again
He sprang to his buffy to his team he gave sound
And away they all flew, , to complete his route
But I 'eard him exclaim, with a booming guffaw
"Merry Orkmass to all, and to all a good WAAAAAAGH!"
