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2013/12/19 22:38:35
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Atropamin wrote: Thou shallst not infect me with thy disgustingly heretic ways, illnesses, mutations, perversions and opinions of fun!
Strength through purity, purity through faith. The Emperor Protects! I shall smite and purge thee from this universe, and then I shall continue with all the rotten, stinking scum that pollutes the glorious Imperium of Man! If I should die, i will do so with the light of the Golden Throne shining upon my soul!
[out of character]
Somone has to celebrate the Emperor's Day, how it is meant to be... At least I let my little guys rather die by the hands of a servant of Nurgle, than by any other heretic.
[/ooc]
You know, if you adopted the Creedo Omnissiah, you would have to worry less about corruption.
Never forget the Litany of Protection:
From the Weakness of the Mind, Omnissiah save us. (Protection from our own internal failures in the eyes of the Machine)
From the Lies of the Antipath, Circuit preserve us. (Protection from the lies and deceptions of Tzeench)
From the Rage of the Beast, Iron protect us. (Protection from the unrelenting fury of Khorne)
From the Temptations of the Fleshlord, Silica cleanse us. (Protection from the overstimulated pleasure of Slaanesh)
From the Ravages of the Destroyer, Anima shield us. (Protection from the time and illness induced decay of Nurgle)
From this rotting cage of Bio-Matter, Machine God set us free! (Plea for assistance from the universal Machine!)
And never forget the Admonishment:
There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal.
There is no strength in flesh, only weakness.
There is no constancy in flesh, only decay.
There is no certainty in flesh, but death.
2013/12/19 22:41:48
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Trondheim wrote: I like to bask in the glow of a burning world that once had great knowledge and power at its disposal, said world also belonged to some random smuck that tried to tell the Allfather about the devious ways of a certain arch heretic! Those where the good times
*hands you a barrel of ale*
I agree. Damn heretics.
I was refering to the burning of Prospero... I do enjoy killing the nerdy ones of this universe of ours
2013/12/19 22:52:17
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Compared to gak that the Imperial Bureaucracy Departmento Munitorum asks for, 47.3 is actually a NUMBER.
This. So much this. One mistranscription of one requisition and suddenly an entire planet is scratching their heads over how to build
ITEM: ten million
COLOR: Mark 3B91 widget
NUMBER: blue
knowing full well what it is SUPPOSED to mean but also knowing full well that if they don't fulfill the request exactly AS WRITTEN, they'll all be hanged.
OOC: I didn't realize we're starting a RP thread! ....
to you too! Yes, this is DEFINITELY an rp thread, everybody! Role playing is totes an important part of worshipping the God-Emperor on my planet. We take fun seriously tho, so don't bring unpainted models if you don't want 40 lashes!
The preachers even tell us that when He walked among mortals unrecognized, way back in M3 or something, the God-Emperor Himself loved to play games of roleplaying and strategy, especially some game with little blue army men and buckets full of dice. They say it's where He got some of His best ideas!
[out of character]I -- huh -- my in character persona already replied to your OOC question. That's -- huh. Or maybe she's the one roleplaying ME? I don't -- I don't know what's real anymore! O God O God O God [/out of character -- or is it???]
IC:
You seem to be having some identity troubles....
IC: No, silly, of course I'm not.
OOC: Yes I am!
Other OOC: I kinda think we are, yeah.
IC and 1st OOC [in unison]: Who the hell are YOU?
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/12/20 04:18:34
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
Is it an artifact?! Oh, we're not going to have to Archive her, are we?
I'm afraid so. Ne, Sister Sydney, you want to know why we don't kill anyone on Emperor's Day..?
It's not like it's a secret. We're an Order Pronatus.
"That time I only loaded the cannon with powder. Next time, I will fill it with jewels and diamonds and they will cut you to shrebbons!" - Nogbad the Bad.
2013/12/20 06:06:33
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Considering my regiment doesn't have a planet anymore - (Came from the Gryphonne system, planets II and III) - they've made up new traditions to celebrate Emperor's Day.
The 'Lone Gryphonnes play these games -
Conkers with Hormagaunt skulls.
Poker with Carnifex Chitin Chips.
Football with Ripper Balls (sometimes results in injury).
Pin the tail on the warrior (also sometimes results in injury).
The Emperor's Day feast is a choice of -
Ravener Fillet and Chips
Termagaunt Steaks
Stuffed Shrike
Otto Weston wrote: Considering my regiment doesn't have a planet anymore - (Came from the Gryphonne system, planets II and III) - they've made up new traditions to celebrate Emperor's Day.
The 'Lone Gryphonnes play these games -
Conkers with Hormagaunt skulls.
Poker with Carnifex Chitin Chips.
Football with Ripper Balls (sometimes results in injury).
Pin the tail on the warrior (also sometimes results in injury).
The Emperor's Day feast is a choice of -
Ravener Fillet and Chips
Termagaunt Steaks
Stuffed Shrike
If you had any Orks, you could also have some veggies!
2013/12/20 13:51:05
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Is it an artifact?! Oh, we're not going to have to Archive her, are we?
I'm afraid so. Ne, Sister Sydney, you want to know why we don't kill anyone on Emperor's Day..?
It's not like it's a secret. We're an Order Pronatus.
IC: I'm FINE, really. And I still think you ought to kill at least oneheretic, mutant, traitor, or something in the Emperor's Honor on His Day of Days, Order Ponatus or not.
OOC: I don't think she even knows what the Order Pronatus -- Pronatus with an "r" -- IS.
Other OOC: Ahem, didn't you just have to Google it yourself?
OOC: You stay out of this! Anyway -- anyway -- where was I?
IC: Being condescending.
OOC: You stay out of this , too! ANYWAY, I don't think the IC persona is Sororitas at all. I imagine her as just an ordinary Imperial subject, maybe more pious than most, certainly more enthusiastic (maybe even a genki girl), and frankly a little dim.
IC: Hey!
OOC 2: Yeah, man, not cool. She's right there.
OOC: No she's NOT. She's not even REAL.
IC: Am too.
OOC: How are you even able to perceive me? I. MADE. YOU. UP.
Third OOC (strolling in): Well, when you think about, aren't all the personas we show the world, even the way we imagine ourselves, "made up"?
OOC 2: Hey, Three!
OOC 3: Hi, Two.
OOC: Where did YOU come from?
OOC 2 (ignoring him): You brought coffee! Thanks.
OOC 3: No problem. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, do you really even know "the real you" in all its complexity? Think about Freud and the subconscious.
OOC: I'm going mad. This is madness.
OOC 2: Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!
OOC: We don't even like that movie. I mean, I don't even like that movie. The rest of you don't like or dislike anything, you're not even real.
IC: They're sure a lot nicer than you are.
OOC 2: Yeah, we're sorry about him.
OOC 3: Yeah. Do you want any coffee?
IC: Oh, no, I don't drink stimulants!
OOC: Gee, I wonder why.
OOC 2 & 3 (in unison): Be nice!
OOC 3: He really can be condescending. And he was out of line to call you "dim."
OOC 2: Yeah, you're just young.
IC: Excuse me, I am 22 Terran standard years old, I have had two lovely children for the Emperor, and I still make time to volunteer in my parish, thank you very much.
OOC 2: You have kids? Wow, I didn't expect that.
IC: I surprise a lot of people. I'm not to be underestimated!
OOC 3: And it's really unfair to judge your knowledge by OOC standards, the way the Imperium works, 90% of citizens know less about the secret goings-on than 90% of players, like how the Inquisition works and that Daemons exist...
INQUISITOR: Excuse me?
OOC: Oh this is ridiculous. I'm leaving.
INQUISITOR: You're not going anywhere.... And -- and isn't somebody going to say they didn't expect me?
OOC 2: Well, as soon as you showed up, we expected that joke.
INQUISITOR: Oh. [sad face] Well, anyway, this dialogue has gotten entirely too silly and metatextual, it's got to stop.
OOC 3: Ohhhh, so you're more like the British Colonel with a mustache who shows up when the Monty Python guys can't think of another way to end a skit!
OOC 2: Three is the smart one.
OOC 3: And Sydney pictures me as a red-haired woman, by the way.
IC: Girl power!
[They high five]
INQUISITOR: I said THIS POST IS OVER NOW.
OOC: Thank God.
INQUISITOR: You too! [BLAM]
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2013/12/20 15:27:48
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
Is it an artifact?! Oh, we're not going to have to Archive her, are we?
I'm afraid so. Ne, Sister Sydney, you want to know why we don't kill anyone on Emperor's Day..?
It's not like it's a secret. We're an Order Pronatus.
IC: I'm FINE, really. And I still think you ought to kill at least oneheretic, mutant, traitor, or something in the Emperor's Honor on His Day of Days, Order Ponatus or not.
OOC: I don't think she even knows what the Order Pronatus -- Pronatus with an "r" -- IS.
Other OOC: Ahem, didn't you just have to Google it yourself?
OOC: You stay out of this! Anyway -- anyway -- where was I?
IC: Being condescending.
OOC: You stay out of this , too! ANYWAY, I don't think the IC persona is Sororitas at all. I imagine her as just an ordinary Imperial subject, maybe more pious than most, certainly more enthusiastic (maybe even a genki girl), and frankly a little dim.
IC: Hey!
OOC 2: Yeah, man, not cool. She's right there.
OOC: No she's NOT. She's not even REAL.
IC: Am too.
OOC: How are you even able to perceive me? I. MADE. YOU. UP.
Third OOC (strolling in): Well, when you think about, aren't all the personas we show the world, even the way we imagine ourselves, "made up"?
OOC 2: Hey, Three!
OOC 3: Hi, Two.
OOC: Where did YOU come from?
OOC 2 (ignoring him): You brought coffee! Thanks.
OOC 3: No problem. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, do you really even know "the real you" in all its complexity? Think about Freud and the subconscious.
OOC: I'm going mad. This is madness.
OOC 2: Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!
OOC: We don't even like that movie. I mean, I don't even like that movie. The rest of you don't like or dislike anyway, you're not even real.
IC: They're sure a lot nicer than you are.
OOC 2: Yeah, we're sorry about him.
OOC 3: Yeah. Do you want any coffee?
IC: Oh, no, I don't drink stimulants!
OOC: Gee, I wonder why.
OOC 2 & 3 (in unsigned): Be nice!
OOC 3: He really can be condescending. And he was out of line to call you "dim."
OOC 2: Yeah, you're just young.
IC: Excuse me, I am 22 Terran standard years old, I have had two lovely children for the Emperor, and I still make time to volunteer in my parish, thank you very much.
OOC 2: You have kids? Wow, I didn't expect that.
IC: I surprise a lot of people. I'm not to be underestimated!
OOC 3: And it's really unfair to judge your knowledge by OOC standards, the way the Imperium works, 90% of citizens know less about the secret goings-on than 90% of players, like how the Inquisition works and that Daemons exist...
INQUISITOR: Excuse me?
OOC: Oh this is ridiculous. I'm leaving.
INQUISITOR: You're not going anywhere.... And -- and isn't somebody going to say they didn't expect me?
OOC 2: Well, as soon as you showed up, we expected that joke.
INQUISITOR: Oh. [sad face] Well, anyway, this dialogue has gotten entirely too silly and metatextual, it's got to stop.
OOC 3: Ohhhh, so you're more like the British Colonel with a mustache who shows up when the Monty Python guys can't think of another way to end a skit!
OOC 2: Three is the smart one.
OOC 3: And Sydney pictures me as a red-haired woman, by the way.
IC: Girl power!
[They high five]
INQUISITOR: I said THIS POST IS OVER NOW.
OOC: Thank God.
INQUISITOR: You too! [BLAM]
Ahahahaaaa!
Exalted!
2013/12/20 17:32:17
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
We have no fealty to the Imperium or its failed Emperor, but we do something on Emperor's Day. The Witchers warband finds a rich world in hearty celebration, and we make a lightning strike to steal the most powerful gift on the world for our leader, Nemarian. The rest of us are free to take what baubles and trinkets we wish before extraction and retreat into the warp. We are still small in number, so we can typically raid a world multiple times before resistance is too heavy to risk obtaining an artefact. Nemarian very much likes Emperor's Day, even if he doesn't partake the way Imperials do.
2013/12/20 17:41:52
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
On my planet, we watch renowned dakkanaughts go insane.
Pretre: OOOOHHHHH snap. That's like driving away from hitting a pedestrian.
Pacific:First person to Photoshop a GW store into the streets of Kabul wins the thread.
Selym: "Be true to thyself, play Chaos" - Jesus, Daemon Prince of Cegorach.
H.B.M.C: You can't lobotomise someone twice.
2013/12/20 18:13:57
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
Faithful... Enlightened... Ambitious... Brethren... WE NEED A NEW DRIVER! THIS ONE IS DEAD!
2013/12/20 18:44:35
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
That's not just a baneblade! That's a Baneblade with an Emperor Titan hiding behind it!
Hory sheet!
CREEEEEEED!
2013/12/20 19:32:37
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
That's not just a baneblade! That's a Baneblade with an Emperor Titan hiding behind it!
Hory sheet!
CREEEEEEED!
OH LORD! Behind the titan is... ANOTHER LAMPPOST!
"I don't have a good feeling about this... Your mini looks like it has my mini's head on a stick..."
"From the immaterium to the Imperium, this is Radio Free Nostramo! Coming to you live from the Eye of Terror, this is your host, Captain Contagion, bringing you the latest Heretical hits!"
2013/12/20 19:39:03
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
SkavenLord wrote: You know, I bet somewhere, on some planet, Creed is hiding a couple hundred Emperor's day gifts behind a lamppost.
Can I peek?
Well if we're very quiet, he might not noti- HOLY GAK! WHERE DID THAT BANEBLADE COME FROM?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!
That's not just a baneblade! That's a Baneblade with an Emperor Titan hiding behind it!
Hory sheet!
CREEEEEEED!
OH LORD! Behind the titan is... ANOTHER LAMPPOST!
Creedception!
And now, for our most holy Emperor's Day Carol!
"Silent night, soon to be light
All is calm, all is right
'Round yon virgin , mother and child
Holy infant so, tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep until I get my gun..."
2013/12/20 23:01:15
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Jingle skullz,Jingle skullz,Jingle all da way
Oh wat fun it is to go riding in a one squig wartrakk
Dashing through da blood
In a one squig open wartrakk
Over da corpses we goes
WAAAAAGH!ing all da way
Burnas and skorchas light,
Making humies die
Oh wat fun it is to sing a orky song tonight
Kote!
Kandosii sa ka'rte, vode an.
Coruscanta a'den mhi, vode an.
Bal kote,Darasuum kote,
Jorso'ran kando a tome.
Sa kyr'am nau tracyn kad vode an.
Bal...
Motir ca'tra nau tracinya.
Gra'tua cuun hett su dralshy'a.
Aruetyc talyc runi'la trattok'a.
Sa kyr'am nau tracyn kad, vode an!
2013/12/20 23:12:44
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
EVIL INC wrote: On our world, we work just as any other day.
The Emperor prefers results rather than parties.
The only correct answer. The only Emperor-approved way to celebrate is by working even harder for His glory. Work earns Salvation.
Happiness is but a delusion of the weak.
True Happiness stems only from Duty.
And most importantly:
Heresy grows from idleness.
Error 404: Interesting signature not found
2013/12/20 23:22:41
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
EVIL INC wrote: On our world, we work just as any other day.
The Emperor prefers results rather than parties.
The only correct answer. The only Emperor-approved way to celebrate is by working even harder for His glory. Work earns Salvation.
Happiness is but a delusion of the weak.
True Happiness stems only from Duty.
And most importantly:
Heresy grows from idleness.
I put a curse upon ya! A curse upon ya!
2013/12/20 23:55:27
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
EVIL INC wrote: On our world, we work just as any other day.
The Emperor prefers results rather than parties.
The only correct answer. The only Emperor-approved way to celebrate is by working even harder for His glory. Work earns Salvation.
Happiness is but a delusion of the weak.
True Happiness stems only from Duty.
And most importantly:
Heresy grows from idleness.
We're totally not idle! We spend days making decorations -- even the little kids cut out beautiful aquilas and skulls and =I= symbols and then they decorate them with crayons and glitter (the glue gets everywhere; it's made from executed prisoners and kind of smells) -- and then we have to put them up all over the shrine and the main street and the gallows and the city walls and the lascannon batteries.... It's exhausting just to think about it! And I'm chairing the parish committee this year so I have to think about ALL of it!!
So, gosh, people, making guns isn't the ONLY kind of work we can do to glorify our God-Emperor!
Automatically Appended Next Post: I mean, obviously making war materiel is the most important work we can do to glorify Him, but a Sister's bolter isn't the same without a fleur-de-lis, and a factory planet isn't the same without a little Emperor's Day decoration!
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/12/20 23:58:30
BURN IT DOWN BURN IT DOWN BABY BURN IT DOWN
Psienesis wrote: Well, if you check out Sister Sydney's homebrew/expansion rules, you'll find all kinds of units the Sisters could have, that fit with the theme of the Sisters (as a tabletop army) perfectly well, and are damn-near-perfectly balanced.
I mean, obviously making war materiel is the most important work we can do to glorify Him, but a Sister's bolter isn't the same without a fleur-de-lis, and a factory planet isn't the same without a little Emperor's Day decoration!
We put skulls on trees It's quite fun, as we often end up with various colours of skulls around here... blues, red, yellow, white...
2013/12/21 09:47:13
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
"When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
run in little circles,
wave your arms and shout." - Litany of Command (parody)
DR:80+SG-MB--I+Pw40k13#----D++A+/eWD-R++T(F)DM+
2013/12/21 15:47:25
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
2013/12/21 15:58:00
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Impossible, it was a guy
"When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
run in little circles,
wave your arms and shout." - Litany of Command (parody)
DR:80+SG-MB--I+Pw40k13#----D++A+/eWD-R++T(F)DM+
2013/12/21 16:19:09
Subject: How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
Atropamin wrote: On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.
I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed
Impossible, it was a guy
Oh..
Oh-
Oh!
*wide eyes*
Oh, gods!
*shudder*
2013/12/21 16:20:14
Subject: Re:How do you celebrate Emperor's Day on YOUR planet?
....
Faithful... Enlightened... Ambitious... Brethren... WE NEED A NEW DRIVER! THIS ONE IS DEAD! 
