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 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:
On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.

I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed

Impossible, it was a guy

Oh..

Oh-

Oh!

*wide eyes*

Oh, gods!

*shudder*

If you need a description:
He is a man in his 90s, but good in shape, about 2 metres in height, broad shoulders, with arms like tree trunks. He dresses entirely in a dark crimson and wears his white hair and beard long.

[singing]
And he knows if you are sleeping,
and he knows if you're awake,
and he knows if you've been bad or good,
so I beg you lest you be burned to death
or tortured until your final breath
to be good for goodness sake!

Ohhhhhhh

You'd better watch out,
you'd better not cry
out against the fundamental injustice of your life
Inquisitor Sandy is coming to your planet!
[/singing]

That's one of my favorite Emperor's Day Carols. Back when I was only six standard Terran years, we were lucky enough to have a visit from the Inquisitor once -- and super lucky that only one hive city was found "naughty" and blown up! When he came to our hive he just brought presents for all the good little kids who informed on their parents (like me! Daddy and me still joke about his five years in the labor camp!) and burned the naughty ones until they were basically lumps of coal. We still celebrate that day as a worldwide holiday!

That's him^^

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:
On our sister planet Mejis II, we once had a 'Demonic Incursion before Emperor's Day'. It was a real nightmare.
Thankfully, an Inquisitor named Nick Sandy, needed some artifact from the 30. millenium and put an end to that.

I met that Inquisitor once, she was real good in bed

Impossible, it was a guy

Oh..

Oh-

Oh!

*wide eyes*

Oh, gods!

*shudder*

If you need a description:
He is a man in his 90s, but good in shape, about 2 metres in height, broad shoulders, with arms like tree trunks. He dresses entirely in a dark crimson and wears his white hair and beard long.

I blame warp dust.

Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor? Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!

 Atropamin wrote:
Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!

Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?

I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!

Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).

It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:
Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!

Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!

Your argument is invalid, prepare to be purged. In the name of the holy Inquisition, we shall never listen to heretics and their lies. BURN THEM ALL! The Emperor will know his own.

 Selym wrote:

Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).

It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...

More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:
Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!

Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!

Your argument is invalid, prepare to be purged. In the name of the holy Inquisition, we shall never listen to heretics and their lies. BURN THEM ALL! The Emperor will know his own.

Ha! You spoke to a "heretic" and listened to my words about the warp dust! Now who's being heretical?

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).

It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...

More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.

I think that little stunt actually earned her a promotion. I was very much at the party. I think I was still off my tits though, because I seem to recall there being something to do with a Bloodthirster and a Jock Strap... What's a jock?

 Selym wrote:

I blame warp dust.

Dakka WAAAAGH!
Nurgle smells
Tzeentch laid an egg
Da empramobile lost a wheel
And mork got away WAAAAAAGH!

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:
Warp dust... Do you see, little heretic, how your corrupt ways stand in the way to fulfil your duty to the Emperor?
Give up your evil ways and REPENT or BURN!

Evil!? You call me evil, heretic?
I worship the great and powerful Be'lakor, who has brought safety and sanctity to my planet! Your corpse-god defiles the very meaning of humanity! You destroy worlds, butchering your own people for no reason! We don't kill for such little cause, we bring hope, forgiveness and safety to those who would follow Be'lakor!

Your argument is invalid, prepare to be purged. In the name of the holy Inquisition, we shall never listen to heretics and their lies. BURN THEM ALL! The Emperor will know his own.

Ha! You spoke to a "heretic" and listened to my words about the warp dust! Now who's being heretical?

I have an Inquisitorial permit to read a few heretical statements in order to pass judgement properly.

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).

It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...

More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.

I think that little stunt actually earned her a promotion. I was very much at the party. I think I was still off my tits though, because I seem to recall there being something to do with a Bloodthirster and a Jock Strap... What's a jock?

either a sportive person or a scotsman... both are equally disturbing options, little heretic. It is good you do not remember everything...

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

Only a totally debauched and degraded infidel would even think about using warp dust ([ooc] and Matt Ward, most likely [/ooc]).

It was a one time thing! Some daemonette put it in my coffee, and then I was off my tits for about the next week...

More importantly: did you do your holy duty before the Emperor and slew that harlot? If you did not, die heretic. If you did, you shall receive a promotion and a mind-cleansing for having witnessed such evil.

I think that little stunt actually earned her a promotion. I was very much at the party. I think I was still off my tits though, because I seem to recall there being something to do with a Bloodthirster and a Jock Strap... What's a jock?

either a sportive person or a scotsman... both are equally disturbing options, little heretic. It is good you do not remember everything...

Oh, now I remember!

#++#/INQUISITORIAL AUTHORITIES HAVE INTERCEPTED THIS TRANSMISSION > HAVE OMITTED SENSITIVE INFORMATION\#++#

There was [...] Daemonette [...] bucket of [...] onto the fire. Then I [...] with the Bloodthirster, who [...] with the [...] on my [...] and [...] daemon.
[...]
After that, I snorted [...] to [...].
[...] cake.
After that round, we went to get some food. And I can tell you, when you're high on warp dust and [...], everything tastes like [...], so you know that I [...] it.
[...]
And there you have it.

Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

 Selym wrote:

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

What that vile infidel said... (who needs those smurfs anyway?)

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

What that vile infidel said... (who needs those smurfs anyway?)

Ward?

He's a bigger heretic than the entire Imperium put together.

 Selym wrote:

 Atropamin wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

What that vile infidel said... (who needs those smurfs anyway?)

Ward?

He's a bigger heretic than the entire Imperium put together.

I agree, he is worse than all the forces of Chaos.

 Selym wrote:

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

Just please ensure you approach from the galactic south... there are some very not tasty things in the way from the north, like my library, which is populated mostly by empty suits of armour and inedible daemons that will reduce your biomass without offering any chance for recovery.

 Selym wrote:

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

Hmm.... Do you know of any other places that don't happen to have bad sushi? We had some cousins stop by there one time, and they didn't recommend a return visit.

NRBC drills till 9 (you wake up at 5)

Bayonet training till dinner at 12:30

From 1 to 3 weapon maintenance for an hour followed with an hour of shooting, obviously, specialised regiments train with their material.

From 3 to 6 trenches digging.

6:30 to 10, live simulation agaisnt those who were deemed to be failures as Kriegsmen.

10 to 1 am Drill time, for the Emperor!

This trooper wishes you a well drilled Emperor's Day.

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 Unyielding Hunger wrote:
Hmm. Hive Fleet Grootslang is intrigued by this event. We happen to get sidetracked a bit, but could one of you point us to the nearest populated star system that completes this tradition? We have misplaced our Zoat Ambassadors for the time being, but we would be happy to observe this event for the glory of the Hive Mind. And don't worry, there will be food for all of us.

No worries! *points you to macragge*

Hmm.... Do you know of any other places that don't happen to have bad sushi? We had some cousins stop by there one time, and they didn't recommend a return visit.

*points you at Terra*

There's no sushi there, they have loads of tin cans though.

Oh, well, if it's fish you want, then you want to be aiming a little higher than Macragge. I suggest the xeno empire just to the north of there, on the other side of the V.G. rapidity. Best angle of attack would be from the galactic east though, so if you're in the southeastern plane then it might be easier to go for beef instead and head to Gryphonne.

 Furyou Miko wrote:
Oh, well, if it's fish you want, then you want to be aiming a little higher than Macragge. I suggest the xeno empire just to the north of there, on the other side of the V.G. rapidity. Best angle of attack would be from the galactic east though, so if you're in the southeastern plane then it might be easier to go for beef instead and head to Gryphonne.

I think they're trying to avoid the sushi.
Which is understandable.

Emperor Day is a revered holiday on the homeworld. All the loyalists are gathered up and fused via warp magic into a single massive flesh effigy of the Emperor which is then burned to the ground.

Chaos Astartes often can be seen line dancing with daemonettes as Noise Marines provide free complimentary music and 'health solutions' that may or may not be made from ground up bloodletters seasoned with the harvested tears of an unlucky eldar.

There's also cake with a daemonette hiding inside.

Remember, this is a "family" site and young children maybe reading these threads.
while the game is about bloodthirsty slaughter, sexual explicitness is not appropriate. true, the game has slannesh, but i have seen the parents of some of the younger players forbid the kids to use slannesh armies and I have even seen a slannesh army "banned" from a store due it's explicitness.

 EVIL INC wrote:
Remember, this is a "family" site and young children maybe reading these threads.

40k is almost entirely comprised of vicious bloody slaughter, daemon worship and unspeakable acts of evil.
The posts here are actually quite appropriate.

 Selym wrote:

 Furyou Miko wrote:
Oh, well, if it's fish you want, then you want to be aiming a little higher than Macragge. I suggest the xeno empire just to the north of there, on the other side of the V.G. rapidity. Best angle of attack would be from the galactic east though, so if you're in the southeastern plane then it might be easier to go for beef instead and head to Gryphonne.

I think they're trying to avoid the sushi.
Which is understandable.

Oh yes, we avoid anything blue or even remotely looking like fish. We carry a rather large number of Carnifex with us, and it's so hard to be taken seriously when you come through these long voyages and descend to a new planet to meet the neighbors and your entire diplomatic corps is covered in Carnifex bio-plasma because someone was feeling sick and couldn't reach the digestion pool in time.

um... EVERY day is EMPRAH day... anything else is heresey and you shall be purified by holy fire.

It's a Craftworld...

 n0t_u wrote:
It's a Craftworld...

Oh, high and mighty Eldar, gtfo of your craft world and hand your technologies to chaos!