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Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 07:34:22


Post by: Zookie


Imagine you have become a marked man or woman by a international crime syndicate and terrorist organization. You have been relocated to a remote location but you may have had your location comprised. Who would you chose to provide your security (assuming each group would come with the gear you would expect them to pack and they are absolutely loyal to you).









Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 07:47:06


Post by: Ascalam


A unit of 10 Incubi, with Klaivex.

Because badass.


Or hell, just Drahzar.


Failing that a Haemonculi ancient, and wracks.

Death is only a minor inconvenience, and the crime syndicate would then have his Coven, and possibly the whole of Commoragh, to reckon with while I got resurrected.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 07:58:08


Post by: Jimsolo


Haemonculi and wracks sounds like a good bet.

Honestly though, most any of these are badass enough to protect me from an international crime syndicate.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:00:55


Post by: the shrouded lord


I voted otherч. 2 GK... PALADINS. their isn't anything as badass as paladins.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:01:53


Post by: MaCa


A maxed unit of 20 daemonettes. Don't judge


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:16:09


Post by: Bobthehero


10 DKoK Grenadiers, suddently there's earthwork fortifications wherever I go, I get elite troops that will happily die to keep me alive, and I can just requisition an extra uniform to blend with them.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:17:50


Post by: Kerrathyr


Other.
A small contingent of Custodes.
Being them unavailable, five GK Paladins.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:30:54


Post by: 2x210


I'm pretty sure a single Space Marine would trump any crime syndicate unless we are talking about some 40k esque mafia in that case full Wolf Guard Terminator Squad or Sly Marbo


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:41:43


Post by: SarisKhan


10 CSM. I would sit there and keep laughing as they were destroying the criminals, and then we would sacrifice their souls to the Dark Gods.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:42:21


Post by: ansacs


Any of those options would be pretty good. I personally would want a full jetbike warlock council. They would probably burn themselves out in no time flat but...I get to keep the jetbikes right?

Seriously a vindicare assassin would be the way to go. He could eliminate the syndicate in no time flat.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 08:56:54


Post by: Selym


I'd take the CSM out of those. Warp majyks 'n' all.

Otherwise I'd go for either Nurgle or Slaanesh daemons, and try to get my soul corrupted so that I may become like them.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 09:06:27


Post by: nutty_nutter


I was going to go with the tactical squad but then I had a vision.

either a full squad of sternguard, or a full squad of Terminators, half and half. I'd then send half the terminators hunting for the syndicate


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 09:41:55


Post by: Amoras


As big a spaceship i can get.

Fleeing from the planet seems the safest way.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 09:42:17


Post by: knas ser


Fully serious answer - Dire Avengers with Exarch. Even just the Dire Avengers are brilliant warriors with tremendous discipline and very fast reflexes (higher Iinit than SMs) which is what you want in bodyguards. And the Exarch is basically an endlessly re-incarnating collection of the souls of great warriors of the past and a phenomenal leader and combatant.

Slightly less serious answer but only just, I would go with the orks. It's very, very hard to guard against a determined assassin. With the orks I'm almost certain to die but my final days are going to be hilarious. If you've got to go, go with a smile.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 10:19:10


Post by: Otto Weston


Haemonculus for sure... even if you get killed he'll bring you back if you've made sure to give him a finger first.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 10:39:04


Post by: Wyzilla


My bodyguards would be ten Chaos Space Marines of Slaanesh carrying a million progenoid glands from any Space Marine Chapter for me to sacrifice and gain Princehood from Slaanesh.

I love loopholes.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 10:46:58


Post by: sing your life


I'd have 10 company masters just in case.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 10:55:26


Post by: Flinty


Marines don't need to sleep, have autosenses so you can't sneak up on them and would need to be hit by anti tank weapons to be sure of a kill.

on the other hand if your position has been compromised, then you would need to move to avoid the airstrike, so maybe a bike squad of some kind. Or veterans in a land raider.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:00:39


Post by: Da krimson barun


A WAAAAAAAAAGH!Den I can stomp dese boys dat want me krumped and take over Dirt.Or is it called earth?blue,green planet dats wot its called.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:05:33


Post by: Brother Payne


Telion's scout squad. Stealth an skills


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:45:09


Post by: Unit1126PLL


The Adeptus Mechanicus, specifically the Auxilia Myrmidon. War Savants, with cybernetic instrumentation rivaling the best in the Imperium, with machine-augmented bodies putting Space Marines to shame (seriously play one in Dark Heresy alongside Deathwatch Marines, and laugh at your ridiculous indestructibility). Autosenses to detect an intruder from kilometers away, hidden, pistol-sized weapons designed to shoot holes in tanks. Blades and guns waving about them on the tips of ultra-flexible mechadendrites and servo-arms prepared to crush a man's bones to dust or lift a battletank onto its side.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:51:33


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


A Bloodthirster.

COME AT ME BRO!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:52:29


Post by: MarsNZ


A tactical squad of 10 Movie Marines please.

For some reason I wanna rewatch Predator 2


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:53:23


Post by: Brother Payne


Actually I change my answer - I'd stick myself in a war hound. Who gives a sh** if they know my position


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 11:54:09


Post by: djones520


I'd take a squad of Striking Scorpions. The skills to hunt down the killers before they got to me, and the armor to protect me.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 12:04:06


Post by: the shrouded lord


Titan legion


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 12:04:59


Post by: Yonan


It'd have to be a squad of Sisters of Battle.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 12:10:47


Post by: Selym


 the shrouded lord wrote:
Titan legion

Best answer yet

Do they come with or without Skitarii?


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 12:26:13


Post by: Wyzilla


Although I'd also point out as well that this crime syndicate/terrorist cell is unlikely to even have weapons capable of wounding or killing an Astartes, or Eldar for that matter. Orks might die simply being straightforward. Otherwise the Syndicate's screwed. Royally.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 12:48:13


Post by: KommissarKiln


Why not 10-15 Necron warriors or immortals? If they are ever brought down, there's a good chance they'll return to duty after a quick 5-minute breather, especially since Trayzyn "lent" me an Overlord's res orb.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 13:12:16


Post by: Ashiraya


Adeptus Astartes, the original and best. Chaos or loyalist will both do.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 14:40:01


Post by: Idle Hands


Fully loyal?

A brood of genstealers. Amazing reflexes, tough and killy, great at hiding and unlike all the other choices, they can increase their numbers.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 14:47:50


Post by: knas ser


Adeptus Administratum.

"But this isn't a syndicate contract-killing approval form... Those are blue"



Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 14:49:57


Post by: Unit1126PLL


knas ser wrote:
Adeptus Administratum.

"But this isn't a syndicate contract-killing approval form... Those are blue"



Bahaha! Have an exalt!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 15:40:54


Post by: kingleir


3 space marines.... And the landraider they are driving.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 16:08:08


Post by: SkavenLord


Tyrant guard and hive guard, maybe toss in a carnifex... unless I get eaten by them. In that case. It would probably be Lychguard or Riptides.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 16:30:59


Post by: dementedwombat


Of the choices listed the Eldar would probably be the safest bet. If I could have anything I'd take a couple stealth suits at strategic positions around my location. Those things would be terrifying for someone who didn't expect them. It's basically the Predator with a minigun.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 16:43:52


Post by: Ralis


I'd take a group of 10 Death wing knights, because they would increase MY toughness!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:09:15


Post by: EVIL INC


I'm thinking 10 Ogryn. THAT is a group of guys that would have serious intimidation factor and you couldnt ask for a more loyal bunch of guys who would lay down their lives for you.
of course, you walk into a bar with 10 ogryn, the bar is likely full right there and I sure wouldnt want to pick up thier tab by the end of the night. lol


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:11:35


Post by: Desubot


a vindicare assassin

Just a vindicare assassin.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:13:48


Post by: ImotekhTheStormlord


A transcendant C'tan, fully loyal.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:16:28


Post by: Da krimson barun


 dementedwombat wrote:
Of the choices listed the Eldar would probably be the safest bet. If I could have anything I'd take a couple stealth suits at strategic positions around my location. Those things would be terrifying for someone who didn't expect them. It's basically the Predator with a minigun.
sounds like your getting tau and panzys confused.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:18:31


Post by: Mr Morden


A Culture Knife drone and the inheriant backing of its superiors.........

failing that Cain and Jurgan or a Squad of Sisters


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:22:24


Post by: thepowerfulwill


I say the fire warriors, just due to the unflinching loyalty.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:28:46


Post by: Co'tor Shas


Farsight's command team and bodygaurd....
CADRE (that's 80 teams). Nothing short of a titian legion is getting past that.
(I realize that's a bit silly, so I will just take farsight and bodygaurd team).


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 18:35:32


Post by: necrondog99


A Sisters of Battle fire team, but one of the ones that got kicked out of the order for lewd behavior.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:03:19


Post by: Agent_Tremolo


10 Crusaders, 2 Death Cult assassins, a couple of priests and a bag full of rad grenades.

I'm a deathstar.





Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:05:11


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 Agent_Tremolo wrote:
10 Crusaders, 2 Death Cult assassins, a couple of priests and a bag full of rad grenades.

I'm a deathstar.





Pfft, you call that a deathstar?

10 Shield Lychguards with a lord who has MSS, phase shifter, weave and warscythe and res orb, plus an Overlord who has the same loadout sans orb. Because 2 orbs would be silly.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:07:24


Post by: Desubot


Its ok because my vindcare assassin will just pop you with no LOS allowed. have fun .


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:11:01


Post by: Agent_Tremolo


 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
 Agent_Tremolo wrote:
10 Crusaders, 2 Death Cult assassins, a couple of priests and a bag full of rad grenades.

I'm a deathstar.





Pfft, you call that a deathstar?

10 Shield Lychguards with a lord who has MSS, phase shifter, weave and warscythe and res orb, plus an Overlord who has the same loadout sans orb. Because 2 orbs would be silly.


That's deathstarry-er than mine, granted. Still I won't put my safety in hands of anyone with Mindshackle Scarabs. Just in case...

Spoiler:


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:14:13


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 Agent_Tremolo wrote:
 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
 Agent_Tremolo wrote:
10 Crusaders, 2 Death Cult assassins, a couple of priests and a bag full of rad grenades.

I'm a deathstar.





Pfft, you call that a deathstar?

10 Shield Lychguards with a lord who has MSS, phase shifter, weave and warscythe and res orb, plus an Overlord who has the same loadout sans orb. Because 2 orbs would be silly.


That's deathstarry-er than mine, granted. Still I won't put my safety in hands of anyone with Mindshackle Scarabs. Just in case...

Spoiler:


Pfftt MSS are perfectly safe. Now walk into that large ominous contraption over there. I promise it won't replace your flesh with metal, I swear by my Glorious Necron Overlords.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:37:16


Post by: jy2


A unit of 10 paladins with Draigo, Coteaz and a psykabroke-toting GK techmarine.

Either that or a fully tooled-out Necron Royal Court with Overlord, 5 Lords and 5 crypteks, all decked out to the max.




Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 19:38:59


Post by: Knockagh


A squad of sisters sworn to my every command:-)


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 20:58:51


Post by: Banzaimash


The Deathwing.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:00:51


Post by: sierra 1247


A squadron of LRBT's


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:08:40


Post by: Selym


Tzeentch himself.

Failing that, Ursarkar E. Creed, and whatever his Tactical Genius needs (I will have a Baneblade hiding behind a lamp post).


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:31:19


Post by: SkavenLord


 Selym wrote:
Tzeentch himself.

Failing that, Ursarkar E. Creed, and whatever his Tactical Genius needs (I will have a Baneblade hiding behind a lamp post).

Maybe put a Titan behind that Baneblade?


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:34:59


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


1 member of the Adeptus Custodes.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:45:30


Post by: BoomWolf


While a host of SoB is probably the most "fun" answer

Anyone not saying Nids is just wrong about pure power (preferably genestealers, rippers or tervigons for quick number massing)

I mean yes, a bunch of paladins is amazing, and so are lychguards.
But the are FINITE, and given enough punishment they will eventually die.
A handful of nids that are 100% loyal, and you are pretty much making yourself the undisputed ruler of the world. a fully nuclear war can't stop you if they figure it out too late. (as in, after your infiltrator genestealers spread out too much)
Just make sure to mass an army and collect as much power as possible before revealing yourself as the new overlord, when they are just in the hundreds they can still be beaten by desperate measures.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:46:26


Post by: jeffersonian000


20 Battle Sisters, fully kitted. Their Faith will see me through.

SJ


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:47:12


Post by: pretre


 BoomWolf wrote:

A handful of nids that are 100% loyal, and you are pretty much making yourself the undisputed ruler of the world. a fully nuclear war can't stop you if they figure it out too late. (as in, after your infiltrator genestealers spread out too much)
Just make sure to mass an army and collect as much power as possible before revealing yourself as the new overlord, when they are just in the hundreds they can still be beaten by desperate measures.

You know what always happens to the Genestealer cultists in the end...

Also, all the 'hurr SOB' folks should probably remember what happened to the last guy who tried to make them his harem.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:47:59


Post by: Trondheim


10 Veteran sternguards of the Imperial Fists


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 21:52:54


Post by: Kaiserbudheim


Depends where I wind up. If I'm on a forest/agri-world, I'd want Gaunt and some Tanith as back-up. In the desert? Al'Rahem and a squad of Tallarn Raiders. One a jungle Deathworld? Well there's only one man for the job...Marbo!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 22:08:32


Post by: Mr Morden


 BoomWolf wrote:
While a host of SoB is probably the most "fun" answer

Anyone not saying Nids is just wrong about pure power (preferably genestealers, rippers or tervigons for quick number massing)

I mean yes, a bunch of paladins is amazing, and so are lychguards.
But the are FINITE, and given enough punishment they will eventually die.
A handful of nids that are 100% loyal, and you are pretty much making yourself the undisputed ruler of the world. a fully nuclear war can't stop you if they figure it out too late. (as in, after your infiltrator genestealers spread out too much)
Just make sure to mass an army and collect as much power as possible before revealing yourself as the new overlord, when they are just in the hundreds they can still be beaten by desperate measures.


Are you including "plot shields" in your calculations - Cain and Jurgen have killed any amount of the above although I would have to hope their plot defences include me!!!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 22:13:26


Post by: Cleanse_and_burn


What are you guys talking about? All I'd want is a venerable dreadnought.... or 3. Maybe if one of them dies they can put me into it.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 22:15:29


Post by: Selym


SkavenLord wrote:
 Selym wrote:
Tzeentch himself.

Failing that, Ursarkar E. Creed, and whatever his Tactical Genius needs (I will have a Baneblade hiding behind a lamp post).

Maybe put a Titan behind that Baneblade?

Nah, Titans will be on pool duty.



Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 22:32:30


Post by: BladeSwinga


A full squad of Thousand Sons with an Icon of Flame. All that dark glory and power armoured bodies should shield me from the syndicate.

Having a sorcerer in there won't hurt, either.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 22:57:30


Post by: Themanwiththeplan


 Kerrathyr wrote:
Other.
A small contingent of Custodes.
Being them unavailable, five GK Paladins.


Damn, wish I didn't vote for a Tac Squad now as yours is much better.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 23:14:03


Post by: Ensis Ferrae


Other....

I'd want a full Harlequin court protecting me, including Death Jester and everyone else


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 23:45:10


Post by: kinratha


A 10 man squad of Death watch.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/24 23:45:21


Post by: thisisnotaseriousaccount


I would recruit the entire Ordo Sinister to be my bodyguards. If you don't know who they are, they're a legion consisting of only 12 Imperator Titans whose job it is to terrify nascent rebellions into never coming to fruition, or if that fails, to crush supposedly impenetrable forces utterly in precise assaults and demonstrate the might of the Imperium. With twelve Imperators I could do whatever I liked - even a government would struggle to contend with that kind of force. Assassination attempts are prevented by my having my permanent place of residence inside one of the titans - from what I gather, there's plenty of room, and there would essentially be nowhere safer on the entire planet.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 00:04:57


Post by: ThePrimordial


A squad of five Castellax battle automata.
Each is a monstrous creature.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 00:38:46


Post by: Gogsnik


The Emperor.

Or Nork Deddog.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 00:42:08


Post by: ICME


Other: A full royal court with all the teks and some lords with MSS, so I can see them make people punch themselves in the face while I say, "Stop hitting yourself, Stop hitting yourself"


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 03:53:48


Post by: KommissarKiln


 Gogsnik wrote:
The Emperor.

Or Nork Deddog.


Ah, yes, I must say I love Nork's fluff. He really defines what an utterly loyal and incredibly effective bodyguard should be.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 03:58:42


Post by: urbanevil


Voted other, it would be Lukas the Trickster, so we could have some fun on this remote island before he dispatched any issues lol.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 04:37:40


Post by: BaalSNAFU


Vindicare Assassin. You only need one and can pass for a human so you don't attract the attention of... the entire planet. Can't really go to work or go bar hopping with a tac squad of SMs or a crew of armed ET following you everywhere


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 04:47:14


Post by: EVIL INC


i had mentioned the ogry for a few reasons.
1. They are HUGE and intimidating.
2. Even though they may not be as dangerous as a sace marine or custodes or genestealer, the average person would be more afraid of them anyway. This psychology would go a long way towards intimidation preventing trouble before it happened.
3. they are TOUGH. a marine's armor may stop a shotgun blast from damaging him but the psychological effect of that same shotgun blast eviscerating an ogryn where he just looks down , says "ouch that stings" and continues to pummel guys would be more effective at making your opponants run away.
4. loyalty. there is just no more loyalty to be had. Eve the dog you got as a puppy and raised with all the love and care in the world would not be half as loyal as an ogryn.No motives, no guile, only undying devotion
5. Obedience. Follow any order no matter what without any thouht whatsoever. Total trust in your judgement.
10 of thse guys, oh yeah.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 04:49:27


Post by: Unyielding Hunger


I don't see the option for a full 3 broods of Carnifexes... Am I the only one who thinks that would be hilarious?


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 05:03:24


Post by: changerofways


Thousand Sons rubic marines because they do what you say without question and don't talk.

Also they fire explosive future bullets that are by the way on fire, and they can walk like an Egyptian.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 05:25:38


Post by: SBG


3Tyrant Guard. Nothing could harm me when surrounded by thousands of kilograms of angry meat.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 07:54:00


Post by: Brutal Viking


Voted other... my preference goes to the Riptide... a few of those and your worries about a crime syndicate would be over plus they wouldn't have to die for me to take 1 for a spin. If I couldn't have that the genestealers would be my plan B


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 08:49:36


Post by: UlrikDecado


Despite my IG love, I chose 10 Chaos SM. Keep two for "security" and let rest have fun with criminal syndicate. Muhahahahahaha... )


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 14:42:33


Post by: BoomWolf


 pretre wrote:
 BoomWolf wrote:

A handful of nids that are 100% loyal, and you are pretty much making yourself the undisputed ruler of the world. a fully nuclear war can't stop you if they figure it out too late. (as in, after your infiltrator genestealers spread out too much)
Just make sure to mass an army and collect as much power as possible before revealing yourself as the new overlord, when they are just in the hundreds they can still be beaten by desperate measures.

You know what always happens to the Genestealer cultists in the end...

Also, all the 'hurr SOB' folks should probably remember what happened to the last guy who tried to make them his harem.



The rules of the question mention whatever you taking being absolutely loyal to you, and as such they will do anything you tell them to, for all eternity.

The SoB will work because they follow your orders even if they don't want to, out of loyalty.

The nids work because you order them to create only more 100% loyal to you nids, meaning every single nid in existence WILL be 100% loyal to you.
You need not worry of the hive mine-in effect you ARE the hive mind.
Heck, once you gather enough nids to create higher-function ones (still 100% loyal to you) you can order them to modify YOUR OWN body to be stronger, tougher, regenerating, immortal version of itself-even give you psyker powers-and without altering your mind (because you order them to, and they MUST obey)
You are literally turning yourself into kerrigen. (except male in my case)


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 15:09:21


Post by: Maelstrom808


Vargard Obyron is all I need and we can just teleport out if we need to GTFO.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 15:46:52


Post by: Voorn


A squat guild would be cool. You would get a huge number of guys all as tough as nails. You would never have to worry about money or anything being broken, ever. This would also include any custom bike or vehicle you could ever want along with any war machine possible from russes, to titans.. You would get the roudiest bunch of drinking buddies around. Your guys would make even the Hell's Angels and the Pagans look like a bunch of kindergartners.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 16:25:42


Post by: Mozzyfuzzy


Went with other, as I'd like to have the Dark angels and tell them that the crime syndicate was a ring of the fallen, or a better choice would just be the Alpha Legion. Because y'know ALPHA LEGION.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 16:47:55


Post by: Selym


 Mozzyfuzzy wrote:
Because y'know ALPHA LEGION.

Who? *raised eyebrow*

My daemonic masters would like to know.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 20:39:36


Post by: Sir Samuel Buca


Adeptus Custodes. Maybe a few Rubrics, that would be sweet.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 21:29:46


Post by: EVIL INC


I'd be careful of chaos. While they may be loyal to you, that doesnt mean that they wouldnt still be randomly killing people, planting warpstone in maternity wards during thier off shifts and opening portals to the warp letting in daemons. You might soon find yourself living on a daemon world as the only member of the human race left alive. Even the pansy alpha legionaires could get that ball rolling.
Similar could be said of tyranid type bodyguards.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 21:57:31


Post by: Mozzyfuzzy


 Selym wrote:
 Somebody Else wrote:
Because y'know ALPHA LEGION.

Who? *raised eyebrow*

My daemonic masters would like to know.


Errrr..... nobody, I didn't say anything, not me, nuh uh.

Would you mind standing 2 feet to the left, no reason, it just improves my view what with being a *cough* slaaneshi and all.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 21:59:53


Post by: Selym


I'm getting skeptical. I need to check this with my company leader, Witch-General Angsar...


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 22:12:50


Post by: Iron_Captain


I would go for a squad of Incubi.
Wolf Guard would also work.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 22:54:22


Post by: The Grumpy Eldar


Either a squad of Wraithguard, Movie Marine Tactical Squad or a Vindicare Assasin.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 23:01:47


Post by: Mozzyfuzzy


 Selym wrote:
I'm getting skeptical. I need to check this with my company leader, Witch-General Angsar...


If I could perhaps have you attention for just 5 more minutes, I'd like to tell you all about the book of ..... Lorgar, Yes!
No need to contact your superiors just yet, I still haven't told you about the Alp...Book of Lorgar, and how to be a good chaos worshipper and how to hate the emp....corpse god real good.

And if you could perhaps move a smidgen more to the left, that would be lovely.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/25 23:18:55


Post by: Dark Apostle 666


A few people have said they want a vindicare assassin. this, to me, betrays a woeful lack of ambition. I want the assassin team from "Nemesis", the very best operatives from every assassin temple? I think that between them, they'd see through any plotted attempt on my life... and then I'd release the Garantine....

Wryyyyyyyy....

Alternatively, a coterie of Word Bearers, who belive I'm the messiah? That'd be cool!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 00:41:40


Post by: Troike


Feth it, I'll go with the SoB. Apart from them being my favourite ones, playing bodyguard to important individuals is also one of their duties, so they know what they're doing. Their Shield of Faith and Acts of Faith would also be quite useful.

But, specifically, I'd go with Sisters from the Order of the Argent Shroud. They're famous for their selflessness, and their habit of speaking as little as possible would up their status as badass bodyguards.

 pretre wrote:
Also, all the 'hurr SOB' folks should probably remember what happened to the last guy who tried to make them his harem.

Ha, indeed. Good way to lose your head.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 01:09:52


Post by: PrehistoricUFO


A Necron Royal Court would be my ideal crew, with an emphasis on Crypteks.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 02:53:56


Post by: anyeri


A complete squad of 10 wolfguards with tda and a mix of fist, frost blades, assault cannons and combi plasma and melta, oh, and a rune priest just to check the runes to know when to add new stains on the weapons of my wolfguard, from the blood of the bad guys


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 03:40:15


Post by: hiveof_chimera


I wouldn't mind a group of banshees


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 05:27:40


Post by: talljosh85


Sisters of Battle for seemingly obvious reasons... great at shooting, dedication and lots of melta


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 06:17:28


Post by: teban


A 10 Girl Squad of Celestians


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 08:40:48


Post by: Draco


Eldar farseer council and I would be perfectly safe.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 10:30:34


Post by: pax_imperialis


Ogryns in power armour armed with assault cannons. And maybe colonel "i threw dolph lundgreninto a combine harvester at the end of universal soldier" straken as the head bodyguard

Because we all know colonel greiss lived to a ripe old age thanks to nork deddog punching out warbosses and using chimeras as riot shields.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 17:58:21


Post by: knas ser


 hiveof_chimera wrote:
I wouldn't mind a group of banshees


I warn you, they're screamers.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 18:21:18


Post by: BoomWolf


 hiveof_chimera wrote:
I wouldn't mind a group of banshees


You ARE aware some of them are males in female armor right


As a great dead man once said "Are you my virgins? I hope not. there are some ugly-ass guys in there."


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/26 18:22:29


Post by: CthuluIsSpy


 BoomWolf wrote:
 hiveof_chimera wrote:
I wouldn't mind a group of banshees


You ARE aware some of them are males in female armor right


As a great dead man once said "Are you my virgins? I hope not. there are some ugly-ass guys in there."


Huh, what do you know. Eldar do dress in drag

Now the Eldar jokes in the Regular Marine comic makes a lot more sense.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 13:17:43


Post by: hiveof_chimera


 BoomWolf wrote:
 hiveof_chimera wrote:
I wouldn't mind a group of banshees


You ARE aware some of them are males in female armor right


As a great dead man once said "Are you my virgins? I hope not. there are some ugly-ass guys in there."


Noooooooooooooooo - "Darth Vader"


Automatically Appended Next Post:
knas ser wrote:
 hiveof_chimera wrote:
I wouldn't mind a group of banshees


I warn you, they're screamers.

Finally they won't be under powered


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 14:41:11


Post by: CrusaderJim


Mine would be just be 2 standard Grey Knights. They can use there psychic power to stop people dropping down near you, plus they have great skill with a blade and stormbolter and they won't become traitorous.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 14:50:13


Post by: painface98


A Necron Lord with MSS would do the trick and maybe a Warscythe for good measure


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 17:32:23


Post by: Farseer Faenyin


I voted the Dire Avengers with the Exarch. That guy can provide me with an Invuln and the squad is tough as nails against even the most determined firepower. They can also wound anything in the game with their basic weapons.

They are also far more observant naturally than the other races, able to spot trouble well before the others (gak on your Space Marine senses, Eldar have that naturally).


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 18:11:47


Post by: EVIL INC


that might be true; I see the fact of them being elves actually attracting a lot of negative attention and more fights and trouble coming towards you and them than you would have without them. true, they could probobly handle themselves with their guns of course but in areas where they arent allowed to bring weapons.....


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 20:33:34


Post by: Psienesis


Ten Death Cult Assassins.

Like this one

Image not shown because of slight NSFW content.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 20:48:06


Post by: Avatar 720


A multiple-clade Officio Assassinorum team.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 21:01:24


Post by: Skribl


A mixed Imperial guard Tank platoon. Seems good to me. have the firepower to bring down anything, and the armor to withstand a withering storm of even the heaviest guns around.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 21:04:41


Post by: welshhoppo


A Primarch.

Preferably all 20 of them.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 21:13:58


Post by: Zookie


 welshhoppo wrote:
A Primarch.

Preferably all 20 of them.


Shhh.... You mean 18 right? An obvious typo, no need to have the Inquisition arrest everyone who has opened this thread. Right?


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 21:14:30


Post by: knas ser


 Psienesis wrote:
Ten Death Cult Assassins.

Like this one

Image not shown because of slight NSFW content.


Does she need to go to the loo? Like, really, really badly?


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 21:15:34


Post by: Selym


Zookie wrote:
 welshhoppo wrote:
A Primarch.

Preferably all 20 of them.


Shhh.... You mean 18 right? An obvious typo, no need to have the Inquisition arrest everyone who has opened this thread. Right?

*Nazi salute*

Exterminatus!

(Sorry, but INQ is INQ)


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 21:19:19


Post by: welshhoppo


Zookie wrote:
 welshhoppo wrote:
A Primarch.

Preferably all 20 of them.


Shhh.... You mean 18 right? An obvious typo, no need to have the Inquisition arrest everyone who has opened this thread. Right?



No typo intended. That way, if you manage to defeat all 18 and the massed hordes that they have assembled, and finally corner me in my safe room. KA-BOOM the final two burst out of my safe.


Edit: Plus, the Inquisition will get involved to destroy anyone who knows about my two portable Primarchs.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 22:18:15


Post by: deviantduck


No St. Celestine? I don't care how hairy your ogryns are.. A flying chick with a flaming sword that can't die is a tad bit more intimidating.

...or the swarmlord in a top hat.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 22:35:35


Post by: Co'tor Shas


Like this?


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/27 22:47:34


Post by: hiveof_chimera


 Co'tor Shas wrote:
Like this?

Next time you see me watch out for
The good sir swarmlord


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/28 01:44:46


Post by: BlackSanguinor


A squad of Deathmark assassins. They wait in their own pocket universe until someone comes after you, then they teleport in and kill everything


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/28 10:03:19


Post by: wolfmaster1234


A squad of sternguard would be at my side, so many option they have, you have a chance against most enemies.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/28 11:33:36


Post by: Daemonhammer


Tactical Marines. With the possible exception of Dire Avengers they are the most skilled.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/29 07:13:38


Post by: hiveof_chimera


Hard choice but I'd have to say the chaos gods(except slaanesh), gork & mork, c'tan dragon, khaine and maybe Horus


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/29 20:56:42


Post by: deviantduck


If it was old one eye, he'd have a top hat and a monocle!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/29 22:27:21


Post by: Co'tor Shas


 deviantduck wrote:
If it was old one eye, he'd have a top hat and a monocle!

I feel the urge to order something from GW now...


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/29 23:05:26


Post by: zinogre


has to be 10 death cult assassins or failing that a single vindicare (they see all)


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/29 23:30:27


Post by: Grimskul


A big juicy squad of Meganobz if I went the Ork defense route. Each one is a veritable walking tank with the gear to both shred infantry threats at range and tear through vehicles with their power klaws. Throw in various kombi-weapons to give them versatility against flying or other unforeseen attacks and you're good to go!

For a less high profile bodyguard I'd have to go for something like Striking Scorpions. They are stealthy enough to easily launch a counter-offensive and are equipped to get stuck in with lightning precision with devastating effects. They also luckily get armour on par with power armour that is necessary to help shield me from firepower heading my way.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/29 23:57:53


Post by: kinratha


2 squads of 10 Dkok Grenadiers.

Now where is the best place to hide... Maybe France ... or Germany.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/30 01:02:07


Post by: disdamn


Fluff-wise I'd have to go with the SM Tac Squad, because where in the fluff has 10 marines not made a difference in the fate of entire planets.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/30 01:06:02


Post by: ThatSwellFella


Creed, so he can keep 50 Baneblades hidden behind my safehouse fence CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/30 03:51:59


Post by: KommissarKiln


ThatSwellFella wrote:
Creed, so he can keep 50 Baneblades hidden behind my safehouse fence CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!


I drop all previous ideas and second this, except a squad of Warhound titans.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/30 14:25:06


Post by: karlosovic


A pack of 10 Grey Hunters.... or Wolf Guard Terminators if I'm allowed

Tac Marines?! pff


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/30 23:48:57


Post by: Arcturus314


A titan legion. And the Ultramarines legion horus heresy era. The Earth will be mine.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/31 14:43:54


Post by: ductvader


Without going over the top and sticking to simplistic troop units. 20 Genestealers including a Broodlord.

Out of your list I think the tacticals take it by pure discipline alone.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/31 16:23:26


Post by: Farseer Faenyin


Love how the original intention is obviously to choose from Troop Choices, but people are going all fanboi on things like 'OMG, I want Horus'. Is there some odd psychological need to one-up people that does this?

Duct, not so sure on the Tacticals take it by Discipline alone. Their discipline is to stay and fight and not know when to retreat with their high value. Perhaps Imperial Fists would delay and retreat properly...but as a genearl 'Tacticals', I see too many being unable to take the best interests of a human in mind compared to what they feel they should accomplish.


Something silly… Your 40k bodyguards. @ 2013/12/31 16:29:20


Post by: Selym


 Farseer Faenyin wrote:
Love how the original intention is obviously to choose from Troop Choices, but people are going all fanboi on things like 'OMG, I want Horus'. Is there some odd psychological need to one-up people that does this?

Duct, not so sure on the Tacticals take it by Discipline alone. Their discipline is to stay and fight and not know when to retreat with their high value. Perhaps Imperial Fists would delay and retreat properly...but as a genearl 'Tacticals', I see too many being unable to take the best interests of a human in mind compared to what they feel they should accomplish.

When a thread is entitled "Something silly", you can trust Dakka to be as egomaniacal as humanly possible