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Made in au
Mindless Spore Mine




Australia

Basically just write a few sentences about things you do not want to hear during a 40k battle. Also write which army wouldnt want to hear it


IG: Fix Bayonets!!!
What do you mean the leman russ is out of gas?
C,mon you guys. Chaos isnt that evil
Why are the Space wolves pointng thier guns at us
We are out of ammo and have no rienforcements while 1000 orks are trynig to kill us. Lets charge them.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/01/27 22:05:32


"You dont have a sniper. Theres no sniper in that building. Oh, now I see him. Um, nice camoflauge."  
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

"Welcome to the black crusade!
Your new CO is an up and coming leader... Kharn. Just stay close to him and you should be fine"
   
Made in us
Incorporating Wet-Blending






Glendale, AZ

Space Marine Squad: 20 Lasguns switching to Rapidfire

Mannahnin wrote:A lot of folks online (and in emails in other parts of life) use pretty mangled English. The idea is that it takes extra effort and time to write properly, and they’d rather save the time. If you can still be understood, what’s the harm? While most of the time a sloppy post CAN be understood, the use of proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is generally seen as respectable and desirable on most forums. It demonstrates an effort made to be understood, and to make your post an easy and pleasant read. By making this effort, you can often elicit more positive responses from the community, and instantly mark yourself as someone worth talking to.
insaniak wrote: Every time someone threatens violence over the internet as a result of someone's hypothetical actions at the gaming table, the earth shakes infinitisemally in its orbit as millions of eyeballs behind millions of monitors all roll simultaneously.


 
   
Made in us
Committed Chaos Cult Marine




Lawrence, KS (United States)

'Oh, sh*t. Was that your [insert model here] on the floor?'

Pain is an illusion of the senses, Despair an illusion of the mind.


The Tainted - Pending

I sold most of my miniatures, and am currently working on bringing my own vision of the Four Colors of Chaos to fruition 
   
Made in ca
Serious Squig Herder






"Footslogging Berzerker Horde is cheesy."

"Orks are overpowered."

"Don't you have Tau? Bring them next time so I can fight something that isn't broken or cheesy"


blarg 
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

**Spoken by IG Sergent***
"Is that a guitar I hear? Is the an IGSO concert?!? I love music!"

**Bamph** his head explodes...
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Burtucky, Michigan

KMKhaine wrote:"Welcome to the black crusade!
Your new CO is an up and coming leader... Kharn. Just stay close to him and you should be fine"


Man that made me crack up.


Crimson fist Officer: Man oh man it suuuuuure is a beautiful day here on Rynns world........ hmmm it suuuuure is getting dark all a sudden....
good ol ORKS!!!! bwa hahahaha
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

KingCracker wrote:
KMKhaine wrote:"Welcome to the black crusade!
Your new CO is an up and coming leader... Kharn. Just stay close to him and you should be fine"


Man that made me crack up.



I'm glad someone got it...



[ent scene: siege at the imperial palace]
Lt commander of Luna Wolves "We have breached the Imperial palace!! Only faith blinded marines of the false emperor stand in our way now! Horus will win the day!!!"

Fulgrim, "Only marines? %^@#$ we left all the women and children in the city! Quick men all the fun is back there!!!"

Lt commander of Luna Wolves, "WHAT THE - *bamph* shot in head

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/01/27 23:34:22


 
   
Made in ca
Serious Squig Herder






Thousand Sons Marine: What a great day to be fighting in the name of Tzeentch! Gee, I sure am invincible! Oh look, I just took a bolt to the chest, nothing major. But what is this fading feeling?

*looks down*

I'M FALLING OUT OF ME! AAAARRRGH!

blarg 
   
Made in au
Hurr! Ogryn Bone 'Ead!





melbourne

"it's not fair, IG have twice as many kill points as everybody else"

Friend (who's death company have felt flamestorm cannons): "du har, my death company have a 2+ save re-rollable, 4+ invol, 2+cover save and feel no pain"

Me:"sure they do"
   
Made in ca
Serious Squig Herder






Guardsman: Milord, on our left flank there is a moderate-sized swarm of Rippers, nothing we couldn't take on even if it reached our line.

Officer: Go on,

Guardsman: And on our RIGHT flank, there is a herd of Carnifexes that could very easily overwhelm us if we don't direct the artillery at them now. Your orders?

Officer: ...

Guardsman: ...?

Officer: ...!

Guardsman: Milord?

Officer: SHOOT THE RIPPERS!!!

blarg 
   
Made in au
Mindless Spore Mine




Australia

(Spoken by a rookie guardsmen)

Look at the cute little rippers.Cute little rippers. Come were. Uhh they want a cuddle. We are they opening thier mouths? Wait, no nooooo.

Recruit Space Marine: Hey guys, look at my new girlfrien. Isnt she hot. I know she has claws for hands and is a little purplish but she good in bed.

"You dont have a sniper. Theres no sniper in that building. Oh, now I see him. Um, nice camoflauge."  
   
Made in ca
Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God





Inactive


*Inquisitor arrives after Sisters of Battle have successfully wiped out a Daemon infested city

Inq: Report, i see you have met a fierce resistance.

Celestian : We suffered no casualties, not even a wound , the emperor protects us.

Inq , then where are all the blood from?

Celestian : Its that time of the month, when we shall drown our enemies in crimson river of death!

Inq: ? what do you mean?



Image removed as it is inappropriate for a family-friendly forum

--yakface


This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/01/29 03:29:16


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          ʳʷ   ᵖˡᵃʸ  ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ  ˢᵗᵒᵖ   ᶠᶠ 
   
Made in us
Da Head Honcho Boss Grot





Minnesota

"Congratulations!

You've been promoted to sergeant of our 5-man devastator squad."

Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it.
 
   
Made in us
Tough-as-Nails Ork Boy





IG Sergeant: "Well rookie welcome to the guard, you seem to be getting along with everyone so well that where gonna give you the privalege of letting you carry the squad's plasma gun!"

Rookie: " aW really, I won't let you down sarge!"

Sarge: "I know you won't rookie, I know you won't" ( to the other guardsmen.)

(Later during a Tyranid Invasion)

Sarge: "Rookie double shot that gaunt swarm!"

Rookie: "Yes sir!" (Miss hits 3 gardsmen, miss hits sentinel, and overheats, fails armour save.)

Sarge: "Crap not again!"

Commissar: "Sargeant, fix bayonets and charge that carnifex!"

Sarge: "Which one Commissar they're everywhere?!!!!"

Commissar: "That one over there next to the demolisher wreck and dead Terminator squad, the one with the claws and tusks that looks like my exwife!"

Sarge: "Yes sir!"

Gaurdsmen: "Sarge what's that rumbling?!" (Trygon explodes from the ground devouring the sarge and the rest of his squad before it dissapears)

Commissar: (standing on the edge of the blood soaked crater, draws his chain sword) "There's always a bigger fish, (turning to his aid), come Patsy where going down after it!"

Lol I was bored decided to write a short story of bad things to hear, hope everyone likes it.

My Armies: 2000 pts Vior La Tau
5500 pts Armagedon Deathskull Orks
3000pts Raven Guard with Grey Knight contingent
1000 pts Tyranids (Kraken or Swamp Paint Scheme, don't know yet).
4000pts Word Bearers, Company of Shadow, and Libation Bearers.
2000pts Chaos Daemons.
Warhammer Fantasy: High Elves
I'm Chaplain Israfil on http://sonsofcorax.freeforums.org/index.php
Current Projects: Imperial Guard: Swamp Stalkers of Myr! and Harbingers Space Marines! 
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

Orkeosaurus wrote:"Congratulations!

You've been promoted to sergeant of our 5-man devastator squad."

Now that is good ^%$#



   
Made in gb
Boosting Space Marine Biker






Bolton, Gtr Manchester/Lancs

IG: We're going in.


He isn't the Omnissiah, he's just a very haughty boy. 
   
Made in za
Junior Officer with Laspistol





South Africa

Ork Warboss:Noooo,there's nothing left ta kill!

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."-Groucho Marx
 
   
Made in us
Navigator






Back when there were chapter traits my opponents used to love this one...

Now I'll just infiltrate in my devastators, and tactical squad 1, and tactical squad 2, and the veterans...

Raven Guard 3,000pts
WIP Imperial Navy Armsmen
WIP Birmingham 411th
==][==Begin Dakka Geek Code==][==
DC:90-SG+++MB++I+Pw40k04#-D+A+/areWD325R++T(T)DM+
==][==End Dakka Geek Code==][== 
   
Made in us
Leutnant







"o i am deploying my wolf scouts with a wolf guard behind you now, enjoy the plasma gun goodness to your rear armor" ^^



Ketara wrote:
Would you willingly associate with murderers, rapists, or alien invaders? Tournament Gamers are all of these things! Vicious grasping WAAC scumbags who will stop at nothing to win a game! They'll arrange for your family to be murdered just to distract you enough for them to win! Be warned! Be aware! Shun these foul abominations wherever they may appear!
~Brought by the Dakka Casual Gaming Mafia~



 
   
Made in us
Rough Rider with Boomstick





Guard:
"Oh, so we are fighting something other than Orks or traitor guard?"

"Hey you only have to hold off the chaos terminators for 3 hours"

"What do you mean it's my turn to carry the plasma gun?"

"What do you mean, charge the defiler? F that there is no way I am going to..... Oh hi Commisar.... BAMF!"
   
Made in us
Battlefield Professional




Empire Of Denver, Urth

"It's okay, I've got glue"

“It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood” -- Karl Popper 
   
Made in za
Dakka Veteran






Cape Town, South Africa

(At Me, when playing Tau)
"..you are such a wimp, you wont even get into HtH. Stop being a baby and do real men things." [then i table them from shooting] and people ask what happened they say: " he won but is cheating scardycat that needs to play a proper army.."
And I just want to slugg the M****** F******!!!

2500 pts | 1500 pts | 1000 pts | 1000 pts

 
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Denver, CO

"Hold on, my wife's calling me"

https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterpaints/
https://www.tiktok.com/@lifeafterpaints 
   
Made in de
Decrepit Dakkanaut





quartermaster: there ya go trooper.. theres yer brand new lasgun, NEVER been fired neither!!

trooper mumbling: ok, trigger, trigger guard... ok, just like the manual, so far so good... next, check the safety, lets see.. safe, flashlight, lho-stick lighter, eye-numbing irritant... HEY!!!! wheres the kill setting!?"
   
Made in za
Junior Officer with Laspistol





South Africa

I'll just be one minute I need to find an offering to the dark gods,now wheres that shopkeeper go off to?

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."-Groucho Marx
 
   
Made in gb
Boosting Space Marine Biker






Bolton, Gtr Manchester/Lancs

Tau: Hmm, they're impervious to our ranged weapons, sir.

He isn't the Omnissiah, he's just a very haughty boy. 
   
Made in us
Stubborn Temple Guard






Tyranids: Insert Pac-Man sound.

27th Member of D.O.O.M.F.A.R.T.
Resident Battletech Guru. 
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

Fabius Bile "Here taste this..."
   
Made in us
Nigel Stillman





Austin, TX

"Oh come on, that huge flaming dude with the sword can't be THAT good."

"If you're feeling sick you'll probably want to talk to Fabius about it, he's good with medicines and stuff. "

   
 
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