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Made in gb
Devastating Dark Reaper





UK, Wherever I lay my hat

Eldar: "Us Aspect warriors get all the glory, I think we should leave this one to the guardians."

You've just got to love the Space Elves

Inquisition themed guard? ...One day in the far far future.
 
   
Made in us
Hardened Veteran Guardsman



CNY

Space Marine (or MEQ equivalent):

"What's that round thing the looney guardsman is tossing at me?"

(demolition charges!)

STAND FAST AND DIE LIKE GUARDSMEN 
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

"What the hell are you talking about - He's is like a brother to me. You are so very wrong about him you ignorant xenos"

---The Emperor spoken to Eldrad

   
Made in ca
Huge Hierodule






Outflanking

From 'Nids to Gaurd: "Yes, in fact. I did give my Carnifex Bonded Exo-skeleton."
Anyone to Nids: "That hissing noise is the sound of your last Synapse creatures head melting."
"Despite the fact that you still have half your army and I only have one gaurdsman, I just shot your unit off your objective, its 5th turn, I have my objective, and I just rolled a 2 to see if we continue."
From a Commisar to an IG Gaurdsman: "Yes, there will be a fight."

Q: What do you call a Dinosaur Handpuppet?

A: A Maniraptor 
   
Made in ca
Huge Hierodule






Outflanking

You lose.

Q: What do you call a Dinosaur Handpuppet?

A: A Maniraptor 
   
Made in us
Battleship Captain






Scouts

Sarge: Here Rookie, put this camo on when the rippers come, and just stand there. we'll take care of the rest.

*rookie puts on shirt that says "1000% Beef!" and Holds a sign that says "EAT ME FIRST!"
   
Made in us
Sslimey Sslyth






Busy somewhere, airin' out the skin jobs.

....when you're playing Horde Orks that like Close Combat....

"TIME! Everyone put down your dice!"

I have never failed to seize on 4+ in my life!

The best 40k page in the Universe
COMMORRAGH 
   
Made in us
Da Head Honcho Boss Grot





Minnesota

"If you think that is the best course of action, Inquisitor Alpharius..."

Anuvver fing - when they do sumfing, they try to make it look like somfink else to confuse everybody. When one of them wants to lord it over the uvvers, 'e says "I'm very speshul so'z you gotta worship me", or "I know summink wot you lot don't know, so yer better lissen good". Da funny fing is, arf of 'em believe it and da over arf don't, so 'e 'as to hit 'em all anyway or run fer it.
 
   
Made in ca
Serious Squig Herder






"Here's my Bloodthirster."

GW Employee: "Dude, Kanz are BS2. Read your codex."

GW Employee: "Fail."

blarg 
   
Made in us
Incorporating Wet-Blending






Glendale, AZ

The last thing you want to hear no matter what faction you play: Jervis Johnson has been assigned to write the new codex.

Mannahnin wrote:A lot of folks online (and in emails in other parts of life) use pretty mangled English. The idea is that it takes extra effort and time to write properly, and they’d rather save the time. If you can still be understood, what’s the harm? While most of the time a sloppy post CAN be understood, the use of proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is generally seen as respectable and desirable on most forums. It demonstrates an effort made to be understood, and to make your post an easy and pleasant read. By making this effort, you can often elicit more positive responses from the community, and instantly mark yourself as someone worth talking to.
insaniak wrote: Every time someone threatens violence over the internet as a result of someone's hypothetical actions at the gaming table, the earth shakes infinitisemally in its orbit as millions of eyeballs behind millions of monitors all roll simultaneously.


 
   
Made in ca
Huge Hierodule






Outflanking

Now thats scary, and deserves a screaming noise similar to what you get when a Genestealer assaults a gaurd squad.
"Honey, I cleaned house and threw out all those junky bits of plastic you left lying over your desk."

Q: What do you call a Dinosaur Handpuppet?

A: A Maniraptor 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut






Los Angeles, CA

Orkeosaurus wrote:"Congratulations!

You've been promoted to sergeant of our 5-man devastator squad."


ROFL...

Along those same lines.

"Alright mates, you lot is wats been picked to be in me biker gang. I gotsa a difrun piece a gear for each uv use..."

"boss wut gear do i get?"

"ammo runt!"

Please check out my current project blog

Feel free to PM me to talk about your list ideas....

The Sprue Posse Gaming Club 
   
Made in gb
Boosting Space Marine Biker






Bolton, Gtr Manchester/Lancs

Mattlov wrote:Tyranids: Insert Pac-Man sound.


Sir, I salute you.

also:

Tyranids: Insert French accented soldiers.

He isn't the Omnissiah, he's just a very haughty boy. 
   
Made in au
Mindless Spore Mine




Australia

Oh damn. I forgot my lighter for my smokes. Corporal,pass me the flamer............

"You dont have a sniper. Theres no sniper in that building. Oh, now I see him. Um, nice camoflauge."  
   
Made in au
Mindless Spore Mine




Australia

What do you mean your suppose to throw the grenade not the pin...........

"You dont have a sniper. Theres no sniper in that building. Oh, now I see him. Um, nice camoflauge."  
   
Made in us
Major






far away from Battle Creek, Michigan

"The chinese restaurant won't deliver."

PROSECUTOR: By now, there have been 34 casualties.

Elena Ceausescu says: Look, and that they are calling genocide.

 
   
Made in us
Dangerous Skeleton Captain




The Vegetable Plane

Grey Knight: I have good news, we gave you a nice new Dreadnought body.

Dreadnought: YES!

Grey Knight: With a built in assault cannon.

Dreadnought: NOOOOO!

Officially canonized as St. Yams of the Church of the Children of the Turtle Pie by Chaplain Shrike January 3rd 2009 :

 
   
Made in us
Sslimey Sslyth






Busy somewhere, airin' out the skin jobs.

Lordhat wrote:The last thing you want to hear no matter what faction you play: Jervis Johnson has been assigned to write the new codex.


...and along those same lines....

"Hi, I'm your next opponent, and Gave Thorpe wrote my codex!"

I have never failed to seize on 4+ in my life!

The best 40k page in the Universe
COMMORRAGH 
   
Made in de
Decrepit Dakkanaut





in homage to a user's screen name:

"what snipe-----"
   
Made in us
Implacable Black Templar Initiate




In your base, killing your dudes

Terminator prior to deep striking "What could possibly go wrong?"

"Did you hear? C.S. Goto is writing a new Blood Ravens novel!"

IG on a Plasma cannon shot: "Hey sarge! whats that glowing blue ball coming at us?"

IG: "Hey, the commissar is looking for you."

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/01/29 14:01:53


Doesn't matter what it is or what it is intended to do. If you add a chainsaw to it then it is instantly better!

Elemental Cheese "The only good Mandalorians were Jango Fett, who actually got gak done, and Canderous Ordo, who looks like Sly Marbo." 
   
Made in za
Junior Officer with Laspistol





South Africa

Chimera driving along....

(It stops)

Commissar:Ok,who forgot to gas the vechile up?

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."-Groucho Marx
 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut






Las Vegas

"Sorry I dripped hot sauce on your Army Leader. Shouldn't hurt the paint, right?"

"It's ok if I haven't primered most of them yet, right? Oh, and hold on, I just gotta get these off the sprue, give 'em a few minutes for the glue to set and I'll be ready to start. Oh yeah, I gotta tighten up my army list. It's cool if my 3 year old watches, right? Oh, and..."

6 hours later

"Dude, dorry about your Wartrukk, I mean he's only 3 and it's a toy car, right? And I'm sorry you can't find half of your stormboyz and your Boss Snikrot model. If they show up I'll let you know. Oh and Ghazkull Thraka..."

 
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

On a nice 4th of July party...

"Hey, where is my (all plastic) army?"

"Don't worry it is in the back seat of my car"

"Oh, OK"

*** In Arizona ***
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Denver, CO

"Ok, the grots and lizzardmen are immortals. The kroot and chaos dwarves are pariahs. My 2 wounds lord is the woodelf with the green hood, my other lord is this base. They're both attached to this mix of space and chaos marines. And this rhino is a monolith."

https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterpaints/
https://www.tiktok.com/@lifeafterpaints 
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon






OKC, Oklahoma

Sir, I think we're surounded.

Its the General. He wants to know if we can hold on til after tea.

Welcome to the French Army..... Here's your white flag.

Of all the races of the universe the Squats have the longest memories and the shortest tempers. They are uncouth, unpredictably violent, and frequently drunk. Overall, I'm glad they're on our side!

Office of Naval Intelligence Research discovers 3 out of 4 sailors make up 75% of U.S. Navy.
"Madness is like gravity... All you need is a little push."

:Nilla Marines: 2500
:Marine "Scouts": 2500 (Systemically Quarantined, Unsupported, Abhuman, Truncated Soldiers)

"On one side of me stand my Homeworld, Stronghold and Brotherhood; On the other, my ancestors. I cannot behave otherwise than honorably."
 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





"What do you mean the points value for my nobz mob is 200 points low?"

"I get to re-roll attacks and wounds every round."
"I thought it was just the turn you charged."
"That's not how we've been playing it at my shop."

In the dark future, there are skulls for everyone. But only the bad guys get spikes. And rivets for all, apparently welding was lost in the Dark Age of Technology. -from C.Borer 
   
Made in ca
Huge Hierodule






Outflanking

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhh!!!

Q: What do you call a Dinosaur Handpuppet?

A: A Maniraptor 
   
Made in za
Dakka Veteran






Cape Town, South Africa

Deadshane1 wrote:
Lordhat wrote:The last thing you want to hear no matter what faction you play: Jervis Johnson has been assigned to write the new codex.


...and along those same lines....

"Hi, I'm your next opponent, and Gave Thorpe wrote my codex!"


Please someone Explain.. I dnt understand..?

2500 pts | 1500 pts | 1000 pts | 1000 pts

 
   
Made in za
Dakka Veteran






Cape Town, South Africa

lifeafter wrote:"Ok, the grots and lizzardmen are immortals. The kroot and chaos dwarves are pariahs. My 2 wounds lord is the woodelf with the green hood, my other lord is this base. They're both attached to this mix of space and chaos marines. And this rhino is a monolith."


I've had way worse:
"this paper is scarabs...
Yay! My monolith comes on from reserve"..
He drops a bucket on the table;
"now, Gauss flux arc.."
A BUCKET for C.S.!

2500 pts | 1500 pts | 1000 pts | 1000 pts

 
   
Made in us
Lustful Cultist of Slaanesh




So Cal

adielubbe wrote:
Deadshane1 wrote:
Lordhat wrote:The last thing you want to hear no matter what faction you play: Jervis Johnson has been assigned to write the new codex.


...and along those same lines....

"Hi, I'm your next opponent, and Gave Thorpe wrote my codex!"


Please someone Explain.. I dnt understand..?

Not sure why the Jervis comment (I always liked him) But Gav has a reputation for writing some pretty 'effed up rules.


   
 
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