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As I walked home with my dog not ten minutes ago, I was accosted by a group of the (no doubt inbred) bogan lads down the road. You know, the kind who wear beanies, dark hoodies, and smoke openly. At first I thought I could ignore the idiots, but oh no, they were insistent. They started shoving me and my dog around (she's only a smallish whippet) and one of them punched me in the head.

I was strongly considering turning around and belting the guy who hit me, but I'm not physically very strong. Now, I've gotten into a fair few fights at school (it's unavoidable considering the amount of gak I get from people), but I know when the odds are against me. There were 3 boys and 2 girls. I'd say they were around 12-15 years old at the most. That might seem harmless, but these kids are horrible. So, I let forth a torrent of explicit language mostly associated with who and what gave birth to them as well as their sexual preferences and what they should eat.


I started walking off again, and they just threw empty threats and insults and me as I walked back up the street to my house.

I've copped a bit of gak from these kids before, and they were smoking (in public, no less!), so I'm thinking it's time I called my friends in the blue uniforms. Unfortunately, it's dark, so I didn't see what the address was, and they're from a few different houses on that segment of the street.

Suggestions for dealing with these people?

I am in the same boat buddy,if I caught more gak from anyone I would be considered a public toilet.

I know the type,big,well muscled,steriod junkies whom have three less IQ points than a parrot.Belive me I know all to well,my advice,just let it be for now if gak like that happens again,I would suggeast attending self defense classes.Really I have nothing to give you here I get beat up so much and had to deal with the same type of so many times I have become a bit numb about it.

I am *this close* to getting in the habit of taking my handgun with my under my coat. I don't care if they're only in their only teens, they need to learn that when you feth with an armed man, you get a lump of metal in your foot.

The gun won't help and plus the police could then charge you with somethig like assualt with a deadly weapon.

I got trouble from Chavs, literally mugged a couple of times down my road. London's a dangerous place. Some lad on his bike tried to jack my Laptop bag that I had on my shoulder, going back down my road. The thing was, I was next to a wall, so I put my back up against it, and using the extra leverage, just pushed his bike right over. I actually had to stop for breath while laughing, as I kicked his stomach in.

That, or get an elder cousin/relative to roll up in a car, tunes blaring, windows down. They should just take on the whole "Eyy man, I got something that'a blow yo' mind." Mehicanos approach, maybe whip out your gun and just hold it near them.

Fun fun fun!

sA

These aren't roidraging kids. These are smoking, binge-drinking, pot-smoking kids.

Called the police. They should be here soon to take a statement.

Well I think thats the right thing to do.Hope they listen to you instead of laughing it off or something.

Cheese Elemental wrote:These aren't roidraging kids. These are smoking, binge-drinking, pot-smoking kids.

Called the police. They should be here soon to take a statement.

I know the sort.

But, the police? I don't know about yours, but the Met here won't do anything. I mean, they're kids, are the cops going to tell their parents or what? It's a sticky situation.

sA

Just spoke with the bobbies. Nice blokes, if a bit bald for my taste.

They've taken a statement, they think they know who these kids are, and they're dropping the hammer on their parents.

I love dispensing indiscriminate justice.

@cheese elemental:


Its dangerous to provoke them and walk away ( you cant see what they'll do next )

Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

Uh, I didn't provoke them. They started it.

Remember, I'm only 15 and I've shot someone in the foot (albiet under desperate circumstances, he was a burglar). I can do it again.

Just to be sure, I'm going to put land mines on the driveway, board the doors and windows, put a line of barbed wire around the lawn, put a .50 caliber machinegun at each window, and set up surface-to-surface missile racks on the roof.

LunaHound wrote:Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

...and that's why we love Luna.

sA

smiling Assassin wrote:

LunaHound wrote:Incase of emergency always remember these places to hit:

collar bone down to chest to armpit area ( clavicle /scapula ) / pelvic area ( greater trochanter )
lower knee side area ( suprapatellar bulge )

Where ever they block there will always be one of these place open. It doesnt matter how strong or weak you are . Because all those spots are fragile .

...and that's why we love Luna.

sA

Just saying! its better then shooting someone with a gun!

Where is it legal for a 15 year old to carry a handgun? Not that I wouldn't laugh at the thought of their faces after you'd plugged one of them.

Go for pods. Damned good vicious stomping on the family jewels and they will soon leave you alone.

Remember folks, chavs are chavs in any country because nobody has ever stomped on them to knock them back down.

So vicious bout of violence, then...LEG IT! Just in case. Either way, you have proved yourself a harder target, thus it is likely they will now ignore you.

warpcrafter wrote:Where is it legal for a 15 year old to carry a handgun? Not that I wouldn't laugh at the thought of their faces after you'd plugged one of them.

I have a sports shooting license. You only have to be 13 here to get one.

Speaking of faces and what people do when you shoot them, this burglar was not pleased. I felt really bad after shooting him in the foot. He was crying and bleeding and thought I was about to blow his brains out.

As to smashing a man's Pride and Joy, I don't have a problem with that, but my legs can't go very high in my trousers. I can kick to face level when I'm wearing my pajamas though.

Why doesnt this sort of thing ever happen to me....

Oh yea, I'm 6'2" and actually a cop.

Sorry I'm never around when you need me....!

You're not a cop, you're a prison deputy.

...by the way, my advice to you...

Pepper spray is a beautiful thing. It's not assault with a deadly weapon and they'll WISH you would've simply shot them with a gun.

Cheese Elemental wrote:
As to smashing a man's Pride and Joy, I don't have a problem with that, but my legs can't go very high in my trousers. I can kick to face level when I'm wearing my pajamas though.

But i think thats like 100% expected place to cover and protect ( their balls )

So yes when they protect their balls, stomp your foot heels into their exposed pelvic area.
They wont be able stand straight on both leg needless to say to chase you or do anything else.

Cheese Elemental wrote:You're not a cop, you're a prison deputy.

You're right, I have MORE power than a simple cop. I'm a SHERIFF'S DEPUTY. Sheriff's have power throughout the state rather than within the city limits. Full arrest powers baby.

I briefly discussed that with my mother. She said;

My mother wrote:I'm just worried that you'd abuse it. You know if you're not careful with it, you can blind someone permanently and you might use too much. I'll buy you some if it keeps going.

I'm tempted to go all rebel like my sister now.

Oh you'd be surprised Luna.

Most Chavs are fond of mindless posturing in my experience. And because so few people have ever put them in their place, they don't expect it.

Failing that, a sideways kick at the goons kneecap is good for a laugh. see them tumble! THEN go for the pills.

A fair fight is a fools fight, and as long as you can walk away still being pretty, I think you can count it as a win.

And speaking of posture....my mate Ninja Chris reccomends the following stance if you are worried things are about to turn nasty. Stand with you hands up and out at a sort of 'ten to two' on the clock, with palms facing outwards. This is a gloriously passive posture, but one which allows you to clench into a fist and get a sneaky strike should things go ill. Is also good for balance should you try to dodge their blow.

For something of a pacifist, I know how to defend myself pretty well. But much like Deadshane, I find being 6'3" and solidly built tends to work wonders for preventing people starting on you in the first pace, so I've never had a chance to put any of this into practice besides chinning my brother.

AH yes, whip out a gun, that should fix everything.

It's odd that I'm now endorsing shooting people after arguing about how bad America's gun laws are.

Cheese Elemental wrote:It's odd that I'm now endorsing shooting people after arguing about how bad America's gun laws are.

Its the adrenaline talking , dont let it get to your head.

Take a long hot bath and relax >.>

Guns are bad

I don't have time for a bath! Got to be in bed by ten, and it's already eight!

Why would you want a bath? You can't fondle yourself in the bath.

Cheese Elemental wrote:I don't have time for a bath! Got to be in bed by ten, and it's already eight!

Why would you want a bath? You can't fondle yourself in the bath.

Why would it be different then a shower? you still have same water till the bath tub is filled?

(unless your shower is 100% shower with no bathtub attached ) then i dunno.

I have a seperate shower cubicle. It has lots of room for my... utilities.

On-topic, I slunk down the road for a minute (it's only about a minute's walking), and saw *two* cop cars outside the bad houses. Yay. I should buy a new bike so I can do drive-bys with molotov cocktails.

And so I can zip past them easily. Yeah. That's all.

LunaHound wrote:
Guns are bad

Especially when they are used to safeguard lives of the innocent.

Help to defend your home and family.

Act as a deterrent to crime.


Actually, blanket statements are worse than guns.