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What are some of your funniest/best moments while playing an rpg.

My Dwarf fighter got thrown by the half orc in the party from one boat to another and proceeded to destroy an entire battalion of Githyanki alone

Getting my ass handed to me on my very first Dark Heresy game. I managed to miss my point-blank shots and in return they broke my leg, beat me up, took my money and left me to die in a ditch.

Next game the psyker's head exploded, pelting us all with bone fragments and super-heated marrow.

Good times..

In an attempt to scan an area for Daemons, my party's psyker's head fell off and his body caught fire for some reason.

When my dad first showed me dungeuns and dragons i didnt realize that spliting up the party to be more efficient (through 3 different tunnels) wouldnt be safe considering only 1 tunnel had the enemies...

We were playing Shadowrun 3, and the tool playing an Adept took *exactly* 2 points in Demolitions.

He decided to try and make a bomb, and rolled his dice...

Snake Eyes!

This is a critical failure in the SR3 system, and he tried to hide the result, but I witnessed the roll and called him out to the GM.

I laughed so hard, I was crying. If he'd had only 1 die, it's not enough dice to critfail. If he'd had (3 or more) dice, the odds of critfail go down dramatically.

But "amateur" Demolitions?

"I know *exactly* enough about bomb-making to blow myself up.".

Last D&D session. We are ambushing the bad guys inside a secret room in the sewers. My fighter hides in a big crate in the middle of the room and when the bad guys arrive and start their meeting, giggles and jumps out of the box yelling "surprise!". Very girl inside a cake gag alike but with a big sword.

M.

I used to DM a kind of sci-fi D&D for my friends. In one game, a gung-ho fighter started swinging his power fist around and got it stuck in a wall after triggering a blade trap. Said trap removed his arm from the elbow down. He then tried to blast away with his plasma pistol, which critfailed and exploded, removing his other arm. The intrepid medic of the party replaced his arms with halberds by jamming them into his stumps.

Another time Mini Castro and Psychic Rommel had a duel on top of a tower, using the medic's defibrillator cord as a bungie cord. Eventually, Mini Castro (A gelatinous, blob like being) got melted down and had to be reforged in Mini Cuba.

Yet another time, a half daemon player got locked in a dangerous struggle with a cyborg Jar Jar Binks. Nog, a friendly idiot savant, managed to build a brick launcher out of broken weapons and gave the player supporting fire. He also got a critical success when throwing a knife at a passing fighter jet, and killed the pilot.

My version of D&D was really strange, and almost entirely dictated by what toys I had lying around that week.

3rd edition dwarf rogue.
i go to disarm a trap to a place we really shouldn't go in yet, and fail.

i'm hit with something around 20 fireball spells.
now, my dwarf had enough levels for the ability that i got to treat a save for half as a save for none.
so i start rolling, and i manage to dodge the first 3 or 4 fireballs, but then i fail a save, and the first one to hit me took me out.....

Last Call of Cthulu session:

After seeing some sort of other-worldly abomination, my character proceeds to lose the rest of his sanity and become incapacitated. My friends proceed to take care of the situation, albeit by causing quite a commotion (we're playing present day NYC setting) by firing off some guns as well as partially injuring a small girl with a shotgun.

My friends decide to ditch the scene, but not before leaving a pleasant shotgun in my babbling hands.

Yay, friends!

we were high level characters in a D&D campagin and we were litterly raped by twenty kolbols(sp)
they stole our weapons and clothes while we were sleeping.... only to be tighed up and sexaully abused....

DM was still brings it up when ever we reach 12th lvl and threathen us with kolbols

D&D: My party was facing three young Black Dragons. The Dwarf Psy trapped one in a Psybubble, we killed its two siblings, then I have it placed inside my Nezumi Rogue's Portable hole(Hole's are about 1' longer and 6" wider than the Dragon's size) until it suffocates. We then proceed to pour in some swamp water to keep it a little fresher in case we ever need to sell parts of it.

Our GM looks at me completely exasperated and says "Never do that again."

Ordering drinks in the obligatory opening Bar Scene, after just discovering that the party did not have a language in common...

Back in the days of D&D 1st ed.

Using a chalk of many colours to tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree to open a portal...

Our warrior being equipped with the 'Ultimate axe of small furry animal slaying' which was bound to him so he could not let go of it until the end of the quest.... in which there were no small furry animals to kill.

Me as the 40HP mage being the only member of the party to make it through the traps in the dungeon to confront an avenger, mage and thief. :(

oh, oh, eberron game.
one guy was playing a warforged, with that starting feat that gave him a mythril body.

after a few games, he became a bit of an ass, so will offed his character and sold the body for mythril scrap

A new player in our Midnight campaign rolls up a half Orc and can't figure out why the Dwarf in the party (Whose rather annoying mantra is "Orcs killed my whole family!!!") immediately starts picking on him. He then proceeds to say "What have Orcs ever done to you?" We erupted in such laughter that the people across the hall came over and told us to quiet down.

In order to "win" the game of Dark Heresy we decided the game was so messed up we used a "credit card" to purchase the whole planet and orbitally bombarded the whole thing. Winning us the game.

D&D: having a party member cast faery fire on my thief in the middle of a bar, to which i pretend like im burning and run out, pick pocketing 6 out of 10 people on the way out the door...
the last guy notices, catches me, is about to slug me one, that throws me as he realizes im on fire

dark heresy:
"lifting the sheet metal from the floor you see a large hole... the low lighting means you cant see the bottom"

"***im gunna jump in the hole***"

"ok... you take 20 + 1D10 damage... your dead unless you burn a fate point..."

seconds later...

"we need someone to find out how deep it is... lets push jordan in!"

after the right combination of failing ag and passing str tests...

"the three of them push you in the hole... you take 20 + 1D10 damage... time to burn some fate..."

Oh that is easy; we had a Powergamer in our group that was playing Shadowrun, he loved taking the biggest baddest Street Samuri he could.

He decided he should have I forget I think it was the Panzer a basically gun to shoot down 747.

They were in a Car Chase; he decided that since he was in the back seat to fire the panzer behind him.

The impact threw him backwards thru the front window; made everyone in the car deaf and blind from the muzzle flash. The panzer has rules that if you do not have the appropriate gera it throws you back. He bought the leg spikes they dont work to well with out a solid service.


His Next Character was a Bomb Freak. Thats all he loved was explosives.

They were in a 3rd story office building room with the bad guys.

He throws about a 20lbs of C4 at the ground and then states " Lets all jump out of the window"

Out the windows that they were already told were bullet proof glass. In that session he managed to kill everyone as they flailed unsuccessfully against the window.

Last night in our quasi-d&d game:

I'm playing a pre-made character nicknamed "Old man". I'm old, have a pot belly, and am addicted to this drug called Thebane. When I am on Thebane I either see visions, read strange texts, etc... or i think I'm a gopher. All of our characters have amnesia and are slowly gaining our memories. I seem to gain more memories when I'm high.

So last night I get my "fix" I think that there is this giant ruby in this fireplace. I pick it up and show everybody. Of course they don't see anything (because I am high as a kite). I put the ruby back in the fireplace and have a seizure.

One of the characters wakes me up and the DM starts telling me that I am hearing stuff (like "they are hiding your ruby"). I start flipping out trying to find my ruby and cause a commotion. I get hauled out of the house by the other adventurers.

I break away and run back into the house where there are two guards talking. "You have it don't you, you bastards". They pull out their swords, I yell at them "Don't you threaten me!" Then the captain of the guard walks up and knocks me from behind. "Thebane?" Everybody replies yes and they just toss me outside.

1st ed.

Finishing off the last 2hp of an eldar blue dragon with an eyewing tear caught in the concave of a circular buckler. I was then killed by said eyewing.

Used to play D20 Modern in a Marvel comics setting... my GG got attacked by Iron Fist dressed as Daredevil (read the comics ) and got entirely knocked out.

The sad thing is that my untouchable (very high dex) character was not in the room when they were attacked and failed all the listen checks to hear the fight... plus it was not until the last PC was left alive that they thought "I know, I will go get our martial arts specialist to fight this martial artist", but they were knocked out as they rand down the corridor to get my character

The great thing was that a bit later on in the campaign, we broke the Marvel universe by accidentally killing Iron Fist and Daredevil when they decided to roll really badly on attacks and fortitude saves while we rolled really well

Our DM was not happy

Another fun time occured when we killed off our characters and started with a new team. One of our team designed a character that had to pass a will save if they got injured in combat or they would transform into one of a handful of mosters.

On our first mission, they got hit on the first turn and changed into a giant bigfoot style monster. I then had my character attack the monster thinking it was one of the enemy (part of the fluff was that our characters knew nothing about each other) and managed to beat it to death with a rifle butt over about 5 turns (only just avoiding being killed as it was really quite hard core).

While this was going on, the other members of our team all got killed, until it was just my character with no HP against an entire map of bad guys. I actually managed to kill all but the last guy who stabbed me with a knife. Damn him!

During our roleplaying (can't remember the name) one member of our group, a dumb farmer had a special ring that he could use one time in a month, and he could get about any thing in the world (limits of course).He rolles dices, success and the GM askes "What you want".
"I want a blue chicken" he answered.
Maaaaaan that was disappointing.

I was DM.

Important Detail:
One of the players had a rogue that was completely silenced and under improved invisibility pretty much 24/7. He communicated with the party by writing notes which would then pop out of thin air when he dropped them.

The Situation:
Rogue opens door. Creature that can see invisibility traps Rogue in a soul gem. I have the Rogue continue to roll dice throughout the fight so it appears he is still contributing. Party wins! Party loots! Party just barely makes the necessary Spot check to notice the tiny little Rogue inside the really huge gem before they sell it.

Although there was some discussion about selling the gem anyway and then trying to get it back.

Years ago in a D&D game, we was exploring an old underground fortress, when we come across the bathroom area, one of our players (a cleric) decided his character needed to take a dump, sat on one of the bogs, and sudenly, leaped in the air as a giant centipede bit in his gonads, the rest of us pissed our selfs laughing at him

Playing old Westend Games Star Wars, our party was being harassed by a lot of drones with us being unable to knock them off. One of the party had an great idea:

'I throw the Thermal Detonator, straight up.'

Many a strange looks and we begin to roll up new characters....

Im a warrior with cleave with a good sword its me and my cleric friend with a elf mage. we are facing a ghoul i think and he would teleport around so we coudn't hit him. I charge him and get interupted of cleaving him because i have like 10 bone dogs then I go nuts and my warrior kills 30+ bone dogs. my friends kill the ghoul and I have to do whole thing over again, alone. I proced to charge him with no problem always missing my cleave and hits. it sucked like 2 hours just to hit him once!

Posted this in another thread...

First, a bit of Background on the group (Meet the Team!). For D&D.

Jake Ruskin: The groups leader (Sort of), a Human Warmage/Fighter/Eldritch Knight. The Straight man to everyone else.

Grok: Half Orc Barbarian. Wields one Giant hammer.

Kazi: The acident prone, pacifist ninja. Has been reincarnated as every single race in the 3.5ed players handbook.

Zeph Phayer: Half Orc Shugenja (Healer).

Thok: Half Orc Barbarian. Cousin of Grok.


Scenario 1: Party enters a Tower (From the Top). It has a massive well in the middle, and a staircase running around the edge. We are attacked by a mooncalf. It attacks Gregory (Grok, when he was brought back as a halfling) and Zeph. It grabs them and drops them. Zeph casts Featherfall, and they get down safely. Next, the Mooncalf grabs Kazi (currently a gnome). Thok jumps off the edge and grabs Kazi. They are dropped off the edge. They fall to the bottom, killing Kazi and leaveing Thok with 10 wounds (Consider we are now 8th Level or so). It is at this point that Jake decides that descretion is the better part of valor, and runs back through the door, shutting it behind him. The mooncalf begins to descend to attack. Grok kicks open the door at the bottom, and they run through. They now find themselves in a room where, not only are there more monsters, is also to small to escape the mooncalf. Fortunately Jake takes pity on them and kills the mooncalf.

Scenario 2: Later that Dungeon, we are in a room that has several slideing platforms moveing aroung in a pattern. Kazi decides that they move to slowly, and jumps between them. Rolls a 1. Gets a reflex save. Fails. The Ninja is now splattered over the ground.

Scenario 3: Several Dungeons Later, we are tryng to rescue Thok from a cult stronghold. Kazi is told to pick a lock. She rolls a 1, and jams the lock. Gregory decides to bash down the door. Fails twice, then a bunch of monsters turn up behind us. He tries one last time. The door bursts open. Gregory runs back to deal with the monsters behind us. More monsters come through the door, and eat Kazi. Zeph and Jake dive down the hole we came through. Gregory kills the monster he was fighting (2 down, 4 to go), then dives down. We dimension door back up, and the mage kills the Wartroll with a spell. Gregory charges in, and kills a third Rage Drake. The other 2 kill him. The mage blasts the remaining 2. They run at him, and he basts them, killing 1. The remaining one attacks him, and he cuts it's head off with a sword.

Scenario 4: In the Next Dungeon, Grok kills a Dragon with one hit. This fact does nothing to improve Kazi's mood, as the dragon was holding a Vorpal sword before he betrayed us. Guess Who rolled a natural 20, and on whom?

Two more I just have to share.

Dump Stat No More
We just started up a 3rd Ed D&D campaign and my players decide on a party of: Cleric, Paladin, Sorceror, Bard and Rogue. With the exception of the Rogue the lowest Charisma score in the party was 16. Once the Cleric decided to dedicate her life to hunting undead we became known in the local gaming circle as the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Campaign.

Best Laid Plans
Same party. They get their hands on a ring of spell storing and realize it can be used to counter offensive spells. While preparing to fight a vampire they come up with a cunning plan that involves giving the ring to the Rogue and storing a particular spell in it. Now the group wanted it to be a surprise so they didn't tell me what spell they had stored (they wrote it down on a side note). As one might expect, early in the battle the Vampire casts Hold Person on the Rogue. As I'm calling for the Rogue to make their save the party leader triumphantly reveals the spell stored in the ring and declares the Rogue safe. So I triumphantly reveal the note the Rogue passed to me before the battle explaining how he secretly sold the ring and pocketed to money to upgrade his magic items. Then I watched the Rogue fail his save

Playing some D& D variation...Dark Sun?
Anyway I'm playing this wizard that randomly gets spells from an Imp. I forget the class this was a while ago.

We are fighting a Beastman shaman who summons some sort of Genie who makes short work of the rest of the party. The last standing fighter drops the shaman just as the Genie drops him...leaving just me and the Genie. The next round my Imp brings back (DM rolls, snickers, writes it on a scrap of paper and hands it to me) It reads...Ventriloquism...which I cast on the body of the dead Shaman, and in my best Dead Shaman voice, convince the Genie that he is no longer needed as I have been slain by noble opponents.

Everyone had a good laugh, including the DM, and the party lived to fight another day.