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...in fiction. You guys watch movies and stuff. How about adding you own and ranking them from best to worst?


Looper: No, not traveling into the past. The part where he drops "the package" into a flow of smelted metal. The only con is you'd need access to a smelting plant but that seems pretty final to me.

Breaking Bad: Melting the body in a barrel of acid. Difficulty: must use the correct kind of plastic, rather then, say, a bathtub.

Deadwood, Hell on Wheels, others: Feeding the body to hogs. Seemed to work pretty well on the show, although some evidence is left behind.

Mr. Brooks: In this film, Kevin Costner drops bodies into a cemetary the night before a funeral, where the graves are already dug but no coffin yet interred, and loosely overs them with dirt. This seems a little iffy to me; as well as needing some really specific timing.

Pulp Fiction In this film, a body was disposed of by putting it in the trunk of a car, and then having a friendly junkyard compact it. Difficulty: knowing a junkyard owner. Dealing with the smell, possibly.

Dexter: In this show, Dexter chops up the body, and then dumps them at sea in garbage bags. I think this is even more dubious - my feeling is that the action of the sea would cause the bags to disintegrate fairly quickly, causing the remains to float. Maybe if he used a more sturdy container.

And, the worst one I've seen:

The Wire, Season 3: dropping the bodies in a vacant building and covering then with quicklime. I think the thought is that the lime dissolves the features and makes it hard to identify them; but I did some googling and it looks like it actually helps to preserve corpses really well, the opposite of what they intended.

Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

Carpool lane.

 Ouze wrote:


The Wire, Season 3: dropping the bodies in a vacant building and covering then with quicklime. I think the thought is that the lime dissolves the features and makes it hard to identify them; but I did some googling and it looks like it actually helps to preserve corpses really well, the opposite of what they intended.

If I remember correctly, I thought they were using the lime to keep the bodies from smelling, so people would be less likely to snoop around the vacants or call the police?

Well, it seems like you're having trouble getting rid of a body don't worry there's a first for everything if you follow some of my recommendations you'll be a pro in no time, I'm an expert on disposing bodies so I'll give you my top 5 methods (not that I've ever put this knowledge to use ).

1. Bury it under your house.
2. Bury it in the forest or somewhere natural make sure to recover it so it looks natural.
3. Burn the body.
4. Feed it to animals.
5. Cover it in acid.

If you need help in finding a place to store bodies or tips for efficient murder just PM me.

 nomsheep wrote:
Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

I've always wondered how effective that would be. I mean aside from the potential blood splatter there really is nothing to tie you to the crime is there?

 Snrub wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

I've always wondered how effective that would be. I mean aside from the potential blood splatter there really is nothing to tie you to the crime is there?

Well, witnesses. Or CCTV you don't know about.

But that's a digression.

 Snrub wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

I've always wondered how effective that would be. I mean aside from the potential blood splatter there really is nothing to tie you to the crime is there?

Yeah, that is a good method as well.

 Cheesecat wrote:

4. Feed it to animals.

Oh yeah, I'll add that from Deadwood.

Edited.

Watch "Castle".

Have fun.

Option 1: leave the corpse on top of a bomb in a nice crowded area, if anyone can even figure out which mangled bits of flesh go with which body they'll just assume that the bomb killed the victim.

Option 2: ground zero of a nuke, ensuring complete vaporization of the evidence and plenty of chaos to prevent anyone from bothering with a single murder case.

Of course if you have access to nukes, one might ask why you don't just nuke the target in the first place, but a good villain never uses a sensible plan when a stupid one will do the job.

I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig gak, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

breaking bad: barrel of acid.

has to be the right type of plastic too.

Dexter has the right idea, but netting would be a much better bet than plastic bags as it allows fish etc to get at the body much easier while maintaining its integrity better.

A body in weighted netting in deep, non fished, waters is never going to be seen again.

 Cheesecat wrote:

 Snrub wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

I've always wondered how effective that would be. I mean aside from the potential blood splatter there really is nothing to tie you to the crime is there?

Yeah, that is a good method as well.

It's what the IRA got away with.

If you're struggling to dispose of a whole body you could just remove the head and hands and dump the rest. You can then burn or bury those bits more easily. Dragging around a whole body for complex disposal is quite difficult and it's only the head and hands that are really good for ID. Dumping in water destroys DNA evidence though it might wash up somewhere, so take a concrete post and some chains with you. Quicklime does preserve a body but it burns away the flesh so again, destruction of evidence.

My preference is to tie then to something heavy and bury them at sea. Alternatively if I was in the countryside still I'd drive up into the mountains and bury you up there where no one will ever look.

Ouze wrote:

 Snrub wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

I've always wondered how effective that would be. I mean aside from the potential blood splatter there really is nothing to tie you to the crime is there?

Well, witnesses. Or CCTV you don't know about.

But that's a digression.

I was going on the assumption that witnesses were a given. Nothing you can do about witnesses.

Oh well there is..... but dealing with witnesses (i'd imagine) would potentialy cause more problems then what its worth. As for CCTV. You wont find many cameras round the burbs. In the city maybe. But not were i'd be killing people if i were to be killing people.

Poppabear wrote:I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig gak, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

You got that straight outta Snatch didn't you?

Atmospheric reentry.
This assumes one has access to a spacecraft however, so may be impractical.

 Snrub wrote:

Poppabear wrote:That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

You got that straight outta Lock Stock didn't you?

Snatch.

Eat them.
Waste not, want not.

 Piston Honda wrote:
breaking bad: barrel of acid.

has to be the right type of plastic too.

Good call, updating OP with that.

Speaking of pigs, in the second season of Hell on Wheels, the 2 Irish brothers kills a german butcher, to dispose of the body, they cut him up and feed him to the pigs.


I swear this thread will get the attention of the guvment. If it hasn't already.

 Mannahnin wrote:

 Snrub wrote:

Poppabear wrote:That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

You got that straight outta Lock Stock didn't you?

Snatch.

Thats what i said.

 Piston Honda wrote:
Speaking of pigs, in the second season of Hell on Wheels, the 2 Irish brothers kills a german butcher, to dispose of the body, they cut him up and feed him to the pigs.


I swear this thread will get the attention of the guvment. If it hasn't already.

Didn't Hannibal do the pig as well?


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Snrub wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Best way, walk up shoot em and leave em, no prints, no dna almost impossible to catch.

I've always wondered how effective that would be. I mean aside from the potential blood splatter there really is nothing to tie you to the crime is there?

Pretty much, in a crowded area is better, look normal do it and blend back in, even if your caught out by witnesses, who's gonna stop ya? you just killed someone, in cold blood, in front of them.

Crowded area eh? Are you talking about pulling out a pistol and just capping someone or sneakily and silently shanking someone as you "bump" into them?

Grind the bodies into meat pies.

Old mafia favorite is to dump it in the (not yet hardened) concrete foundations of, say, a skyscraper or other large building site.
I should think those sites are guarded with cameras these days though.

Old abandoned mines are also a good dumping ground, I should think.

Pigs are always a good option. Lye, trash bags and a shovel work too.

Feed the pigs!

When they have finished take away teeth and hair to incinerate, or mix in with your trash.

Other option is to deep freeze, Cut body up into easily manageable pieces, freeze. then every so often venture out with a piece to your waterway of choice weigh it down then toss it.

There's quite a simple option. Get someone you know but don't particularly like to become friends with you, and slowly start to brainwash them into thinking the person you want dead should be killed. Get them to the point where they will do anything to kill that person, then get a very good alibi while they go off and murder for you.