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Made in gb
Renegade Inquisitor de Marche






Elephant Graveyard

Not necessarily...
There may be extenuating circumstances.

Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
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Fixture of Dakka





Melbourne

Azazel. I can't help but notice that you are ruining our perfectly good thread with the knowledge you gain from your degree. Please cease and desist.

Altough i must thank you for explaining why the walk up and shoot them then walk away method is flawed. Still i would be interested to try it. Just to see how long it takes em to track me down.

What about Yogurt? Can't plain Yogurt destroy a body? I believe i read somewhere that that can happen if you use enough.

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Decrepit Dakkanaut





Eat it.

   
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5th God of Chaos! (Ho-hum)





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Seen Hostel 2 too many times?

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Stealthy Grot Snipa




What a vulgar and morbid thread.
The best would be death by pathogens, have to make them very short lived to stop a pandemic.
   
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Melbourne

Eat the body or the Yogurt? Because i won't lie. I'm down for either at the moment since i haven't had brekky yet.



Lighten up Varon. This is Off Topic. Also this is disposal of bodies. Not how to make them. Although if those pathogens are of the voracious flesh eating kind you may have just killed 2 birds with one stone.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/11/25 23:09:02


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Zealous Sin-Eater




Montreal

 nomsheep wrote:
 Kovnik Obama wrote:
 p_gray99 wrote:
There's quite a simple option. Get someone you know but don't particularly like to become friends with you, and slowly start to brainwash them into thinking the person you want dead should be killed. Get them to the point where they will do anything to kill that person, then get a very good alibi while they go off and murder for you.


Conspiracy to commit murder.


Then when they are done get em to kill themselves?


Dunno about elsewhere, but here in Canada it's a crime to even suggest to someone they should kill themselves, even if they don't. Up to 13 years, by memory.

Of course that would require a witness to the act, or something.

Hey hey I think I'll go watch the X-File episode Pusher again

[...] for conflict is the great teacher, and pain, the perfect educator.  
   
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Roaring Reaver Rider






Warwickshire

pretty sure this entire thread is a federal crime XD
   
Made in us
Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine







The Sopranos: Don't even hide the body. Just wear gloves, have a good lawyer, and lay low before and after the crime for a while.

Apparently, in real life that can actually work. In cities like Detroit, with severe crime problems, over 66% of murders go unsolved.
   
Made in ca
Depraved Slaanesh Chaos Lord





LoneLictor wrote:Apparently, in real life that can actually work. In cities like Detroit, with severe crime problems, over 66% of murders go unsolved.

Unfortunately, that is more a consequence of who is being murdered.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Snrub wrote:Azazel. I can't help but notice that you are ruining our perfectly good thread with the knowledge you gain from your degree. Please cease and desist.

Altough i must thank you for explaining why the walk up and shoot them then walk away method is flawed. Still i would be interested to try it. Just to see how long it takes em to track me down.

What about Yogurt? Can't plain Yogurt destroy a body? I believe i read somewhere that that can happen if you use enough.

Respectively:

1. Very well.

2. I will assume that was a joke.

3. Full-fat yogurt, if ingested frequently and in copious quantities, and definitely ruin a body.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/11/26 01:06:23


 
   
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Melbourne

 azazel the cat wrote:
1. Very well.
Much obliged.

2. I will assume that was a joke.
You would hope wouldn't you.

3. Full-fat yogurt, if ingested frequently and in copious quantities, and definitely ruin a body.
So you would need a metric feth ton of it for it to work.

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Roaring Reaver Rider






Warwickshire

fire is cheaper lol
   
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Melbourne

What about firing a body out of a massive cannon into space. Can't have a murder without a body right?

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Roaring Reaver Rider






Warwickshire

 Snrub wrote:
What about firing a body out of a massive cannon into space. Can't have a murder without a body right?


Seems cheaper just to buy the prison your serving time in. lol
   
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Melbourne

Sheesh... theres just no pleasing you people is there?


OK then how bout you go down to Cape Canaveral or whatever that place is called and slip the body under a rocket just before take off? Don't think there would be much of a body left after that inferno was through with it.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/11/26 03:56:01


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2nd Lieutenant




San Jose, California

 whembly wrote:
Surprised no one mentioned this yet...

Befriend a junkyard owner...

Put said body in a trunk of a car...

Crush said car into itty-bitty size.

Then call yourself "Mr. Wolf"!


That would work fine....unless your target is named Cedrick....



Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf 
   
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Paramount Plague Censer Bearer





Woodchipper, eh?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/11/26 07:22:59


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or discover the game you always wanted to:

RoTC
   
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Decrepit Dakkanaut





 whembly wrote:

Seen Hostel 2 too many times?


No, I actually eat people. Bones have to be crushed to dust somehow though.

   
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche






Elephant Graveyard

It's not such a bad idea if you have the time I guess...
No one's gonna suspect it for a while...

Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. 
   
Made in ca
Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant




Ontario

No, I actually eat people. Bones have to be crushed to dust somehow though.


Then you can make Jimmy Hoffa Jello! Now with extra Jimmy.

What about firing a body out of a massive cannon into space. Can't have a murder without a body right?


Really if you're going to go to all of that trouble just build yourself a furnace and incinerate the body there, they're not terribly expensive, and it's possible to make your own for a couple hundred, or buy one for a thousand or two.

Plus the security at Cape Canaveral would be a freaking nightmare to get a body through.

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MN (Currently in WY)

It's not so much a problem of people finding the body, the problem therefore becomes if the police link said body back to you.

As mentioned, making the body unidentifiable is a simple way to cover your tracks and a lot easier to accomplish than actual disposal. Burn off the finger prints, mangle the face, destroy any identifying marks, and burn the thing. Most physical evidence and DNA evidence is destroyed.

As stated, you then wait it out. Once DNA tests come back to identify the person (assuming they have DNA on file somewhere) most likely the cops will be swamped with other cases by then. No time for the ones that are actually hard to solve.

It also helps if you have no motive for the crime.

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Rough Rider with Boomstick






there was actually a case in Mexico where a cartel hired a guy just to dispose of bodies. he was called El Pozolero (the stew maker), his preferred method: dissolve the body in acid then bury the resulting goo in his backyard. the authorities are still uncertain how many and who his "clients" were. grim stuff, but effective none the less.

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MN (Currently in WY)

 yeri wrote:
there was actually a case in Mexico where a cartel hired a guy just to dispose of bodies. he was called El Pozolero (the stew maker), his preferred method: dissolve the body in acid then bury the resulting goo in his backyard. the authorities are still uncertain how many and who his "clients" were. grim stuff, but effective none the less.


Here I thought they just decapitated them and dumped them on the streets. Maybe 'El Pozolero' was part of a simpler time?

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Mysterious Techpriest







We covered this in biology (sort of)...

Chop it up into pieces (for eisier handling and reduction in size of containers), cover in quicklime to remove the flesh, put in concentrated acetic acid (vinegar) to remove the calcium from the bones then take what's left and burn it.

It was really wierd taking a bone out of acid and playing with it like it was one of those bendy dog toys.

   
Made in ca
Depraved Slaanesh Chaos Lord





yeri wrote:there was actually a case in Mexico where a cartel hired a guy just to dispose of bodies. he was called El Pozolero (the stew maker), his preferred method: dissolve the body in acid then bury the resulting goo in his backyard. the authorities are still uncertain how many and who his "clients" were. grim stuff, but effective none the less.

Not acid. A base. See my first post in the thread.
   
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Melbourne

 Easy E wrote:
Once DNA tests come back to identify the person (assuming they have DNA on file somewhere) most likely the cops will be swamped with other cases by then. No time for the ones that are actually hard to solve.
This is all very well and good in a place with an obscene crime rate like the US. But somewhere like Australia where we only have 250ish murders a year trying to wait out the DNA tests and hoping the cops don't get back to you isn't so practical.

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The Void

 Snrub wrote:
 Easy E wrote:
Once DNA tests come back to identify the person (assuming they have DNA on file somewhere) most likely the cops will be swamped with other cases by then. No time for the ones that are actually hard to solve.
This is all very well and good in a place with an obscene crime rate like the US. But somewhere like Australia where we only have 250ish murders a year trying to wait out the DNA tests and hoping the cops don't get back to you isn't so practical.


Hell all you have to do down under is bury the body somewhere in the outback, they'll never find it/the dingos will eat it

I beg of you sarge let me lead the charge when the battle lines are drawn
Lemme at least leave a good hoof beat they'll remember loud and long


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 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
 Snrub wrote:
 Easy E wrote:
Once DNA tests come back to identify the person (assuming they have DNA on file somewhere) most likely the cops will be swamped with other cases by then. No time for the ones that are actually hard to solve.
This is all very well and good in a place with an obscene crime rate like the US. But somewhere like Australia where we only have 250ish murders a year trying to wait out the DNA tests and hoping the cops don't get back to you isn't so practical.


Hell all you have to do down under is bury the body somewhere in the outback, they'll never find it/the dingos will eat it

I thought it was the drop bears that'd take care of the evidence...


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Longtime Dakkanaut






Sheffield, City of University and Northern-ness

When in doubt, jet engines.
Thoose things are engineered to take a beating, and convert that beating into a fine red mist being thrown out of the engine's rear end.
It's quite hard to find out the identity of a person when that person amounts to little more than a gas.

   
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Battleship Captain




Calixis Sector

Cremation furnace. Those things reduce legit corpses to ash and crumbling bone.

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