corrupt a wish!

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**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. In a twist of fate the name the brain donor barista writes on your mocha becomes yours permanently and now you shall be called Fleb.

I wish Thanksgiving dinner was once a month.

**Cream Tea**

Granted. Each month is now 395 days long, however.

I wish I was in Carrickfergus.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You're in Carrickfergus but it's the 12th century and you're on the wrong side of the Norman invasion.

I wish I could snap my fingers and make the food of my choice appear.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. The food falls on your fingers & breaks them, no more snapping.

I wish I could read rulebooks super fast like Gary Mitchell in the TOS episode Where No Man Has Gone Before.

**snurl**

Granted. You can read them fast, but only aloud, screaming the words in crowded grocery stores.

I wish you all a happy Halloween!

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It's your day, I'll give you this one pumpkin boy!

I wish for a piece of Pumpkin Pie with a scoop of Tahitian Vanilla gelato on the side...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it flys out of your hand and nails snurl on the head at speed, ruining everyone's happy Halloween mere moments after they achieved it.

I wish I could find a good trunk or treat around here for my kid.

**snurl**

Granted. You send him into a house that wasn't there a few moments ago, and it vanishes as soon as he returns. The treats he collected seem to be moving about......

I wish my mirror would work like it's supposed to.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It's an evil magic mirror and now it's stolen your soul.

I wish I didn't have a cold.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Now you have Rabies.

I wish I wouldn't have sold my Google shares when I did.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You still have them but the Singularity happens tonight and the self-aware Google overlord abolishes stocks & money.

I wish they would make a Dune movie that doesn't suck.

**Cream Tea**

Granted. They did, ages ago. Sadly it was never released and is now a lost film.

I wish for happiness.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it only comes when you shed blood of the innocent

I wish California would quit catching on fire.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It's now a desolate wasteland with nothing flammable left.

I wish I had a bakery around me that could make decent, proper bagels.

**snurl**

Granted. It closed for good yesterday.

I wish for lunch.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You get the Pol Pot Special-1 bowl of rice and that's all your food for the day.

I wish this damn cold would go away.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It takes your lungs with it

I wish my toddler was rational

**snurl**

Granted. Your toddler is a phenomenon of wisdom and reasoning far beyond its tender years, but still fights like a wildcat when it's bedtime.

I wish for a bigger discount.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! But the discount only applies to female hygiene products.

I wish for no hitches or problems when I host Thanksgiving dinner for the family this year.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. The nuclear holocaust happens the day after Thanksgiving.

I wish I could cure stupidity.

**snurl**

Granted. Stupidity is eliminated. Flatulence takes it's place.

I wish for a warm spell.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It's the only spell you know and you're going to be a really bad wizard.

I wish there was no mid season break for Star Trek Discovery.

**snurl**

Granted. The whole thing is cancelled outright.

I wish for a lucky dice.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Unfortunately your horrible memory prohibits you from remembering where you put it.

I wish there was an Autobahn in the U.S.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's uses the California Bay Area FastTrak system, charging roughly a dollar per mile.

I wish I didn't need to work for a living

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You get a nice cardboard sign that says HOMELESS & HUNGRY to earn money with.

I wish my wife would play miniatures games and not just boardgames.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! She plays just about every miniatures game available...but not with you. She considers your lists beardy and has tired of your whining when she usually tables you by turn 3.

I wish the Chicago Bears would beat the Green Bay Packers.

**snurl**

Granted. They win the exhibition ping pong tournament.

I wish the Vikings would win the Superbowl.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! But it's the "Super Bowl" with the puppies, shown during commercials of the big game and the score is really close.

I wish everybody would just fething wait until after Thanksgiving to start decorating for Christmas and that anybody who didn't would spontaneously turn into a plastic lawn snowman.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but they're horrific plastic snowmen sent from Hell to kill. Hope you can run fast.

I wish this good classic rock station I'm listening to wasn't going off air & turning into a religious station tomorrow.