corrupt a wish!

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**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It now has a budget of $400., bigger by 100% it's orginal budget.

I wish intelligent, advanced, beneficent aliens would land and sort this fething mess of a planet out.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Things are pretty calm once their theocracy is established and 90% of the human population has been purged for morality crimes. Walking on only two feet is incredibly sinful

I wish GW could keep its model line in stock

**snurl**

Granted. In order to do so, their prices increase by 200%.

I wish GW would give out free figures again.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You get a "free" figure with each $200 subscription to White Dwarf.

I wish I coup stop time for a day or two...

**snurl**

Granted. But when you do, you fall asleep for 24 to 48 hours.

I wish my window wasn't frozen shut.

**Cream Tea**

Granted. You don't have a window anymore.

I wish I had more swords.

**snurl**

Granted. You are arrested for stockpiling offensive weapons.

I wish to prime my dragons.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but the primer resists any attempt to add paint

I wish I had a set of customized clear plastic magnetized bases

**gruebot**

GRANTED! The magnets on your new bases are so strong that you are unable to remove them from each other.

I wish summer started tomorrow...

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It lasts 2 minutes, fall is skipped and right back to winter.

I wish I had sold S&P futures this morning.

**snurl**

Granted. You did. Only to find that they take off later again this afternoon.

I wish for better paint stripper.

**Cream Tea**

Granted. You get a paint stripper so effective, any minis stripped can never be painted again.

I wish I were a lumberjack!

**gruebot**

GRANTED! There are no more trees.

I wish for a new phone...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It bleeds. Constantly.

I wish for good health

**snurl**

Granted. You are soon hit by a speeding garbage truck.

I wish for an easy night.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! The day after, however, sucks on a biblical level.

I wish moron in the WH would stop blowing my money on trips to his properties in Florida and banana republic-style military parades.

**snurl**

Granted. He instead squanders it on champagne and bumper stickers for everyone.

I wish for a real candidate next election.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Vladmir Putin and Xi Jinping are both 100% real candidates and willing to work hard for their newly adopted political parties. They aren't even using intermediaries this time!

I wish Blue Cows were real.

**snurl**

Granted. They follow you everywhere you go.

I wish for less work drama.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! There is less work drama but it's all your fault & everyone knows it.

I wish the X-Wing players were less competitive...

**Cream Tea**

Granted. They're a bit less competitive when (and only when) playing Yahtzee.

I wish for the death of reality TV.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. All reality TV is now banned under a law that forces you to monitor tv output for 24 hours a day while shacked up in a monitoring residence with 23 other people - all former celebrities with serious drama problems.

I wish the Space Wolf faction was keyword Chaos instead of Imperium.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! All factions with the keyword Chaos are now Imperium and vice versa.

I wish the new Warhammer Cafe were being built in my city...

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It's being built in Pyongyang...now swear allegiance to your new Supreme Leader.

I wish I cared more about the Winter Olympics.

**snurl**

Granted. It's being held next door to you and people keep blocking your driveway.

I wish the bikini ski team would perform today.

**Thunderforge**

Granted. But you can’t see them perform because of all the Winter Olympian spectators in the way.

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard and-and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?

**Cream Tea**

Granted. The turkey is a bit dry, the lettuce is so-so, the bread is ok and it's clearly not a premium brand of mustard. All in all, you've had better, you've had worse. After eating it, you die so suddenly you don't have time to be surprised.

I wish for chocolate with some kind of weird surprise or some other unpleasant thing in it.

**snurl**

Granted. Your chocolate was made on the day that the oompa-loompah fell into the machinery and was never found.

I wish for a weird surprise.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Penile bifurcation

I wish for a Dark Talon fighter

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! A boxer with long, black raptor-like claws visits you with less than desired results.

I wish it was Fat Tuesday every day.