Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

*goes inside butter tank*
By the Emperor he's right...
*joins 2bj1 in the library, looks around*
I don't quite know how this works, but it's impressive

*steps out of library with glowing eyes and a whip made from warp energies in one hand*

I understand it perfectly now. Whatever Co'tor's machine did exactly, I don't know, but with my change from unlife to something that isn't living, but not so dead has helped me unlock my psychic side that first was awoken when I ate my first tyranid, which then made me make a shrine to summon them, but that isn't the point.

*lightning crackles at his fingertips*

The point is that I'm going to have lots of fun now.

*smiles wickedly

[Looks uncertain] Fun? What kind of fun?

[Holds up hand and PDF troops start to move back to barracks slowly]

*walks out library, sees warp lightning coming from 2bj1*
*cocks boltgun*
Yes kroot, what sort of "fun" are you talking about?

Oh don't worry, that bloodlust is over. I'd rather not cause further harm to allies. After all, we are all friends here, are we not?

Yes! Friends embarked in a glorious task of jolly cooperation!

[praises the sun]

\[T]/

I'm not sure I have friends. Just people that cause me varying degrees of harm.
It's the intention behind it that counts.

Hey, I'm your friend. At least I think I am.

Don't worry BC. I'm your friend, I haven't hurt you yet

I mean, I poked you. So.................

...Damn, son.

*Reaches for gloom prism*

I'll rephrase... I'm not sure my ingrained paranoia and sociopathy allow me to correctly interpret friendship.
[Looks at feet] But it's nice that you care. It makes me feel bad that I've ranked you all in terms of food value.

[Points at blackjack] Inedible. The rest of you are a varying scale.

I'm not sure you'd even be able to inject my blood. It has a high cobalt concentration, unlike human which has iron. As a side effect, my blood is blue as apposed to red.

I think my blood was messed with a lot before my ascension to space marine. I doubt that it would taste good. I think the only truly human one here is aldo.

...Wait. Where am I on your scale? I don't actually have blood, unless liquid metal counts.

[Looks at Verviedi] Chewing gum.

Liquid Metal chewing gum?

Mine is a complex and bewildering food pyramid, alright?

[Looks vaguely embarrassed]

I mean, I know you commissars are dead hard, but that's something that only a space marine could stomach.
*studies BC*
You sure you're not a secret space marine?

...Sapient, potentially malicious liquid metal in your mouth.

I don't know if I should be scared.

Inedible? Not sure if that's a compliment or an insult. And what's the plan with the gloom prism? I'd rather not get some cutting edge abilities and have to use them immediately afterwards on the only creatures not born on Pech that I care about.

*flinches*

Well, that I know aren't dead, but that's a long story.

*comes out of the library with a book*

Chacarron Macarron: the best troll songs of the 21st century.

*opens it and Chacarron Macarron plays*

[Puzzled expression] I'm both already dead, and a vampire. You know, imbued with superhuman strength... I've not tested that limit, but chewing already liquid metal wouldn't be that taxing.

You're talking like I said I eat bricks for fun.

Anyway..
Edible. [Points at Aldo] Edible. [Points at Morty] Edible with a side of mild alcohol poisoning. [Points at Rick]
Dessert. [Points at Co'tor] Not worth opening the can. [Points at Tactical_spam] Last resort. [Points at War Kitten]
Would break my hand off for pointing at him. [Doesn't point at Brochtree]
Work in progress. [Looks at Shelby]

"Work in Progress"? Should I feel honored or insulted by that?

ooc: It was name then point. You'd be "last resort'

 War Kitten wrote:
"Work in Progress"? Should I feel honored or insulted by that?

*closes the book*

No, he meant me.

OOC: Ah, I see, I apologize, I misread that. Nice to see that the marine's blood is apparently that unappetizing.

IC: You know, I probably should be disturbed by the fact that you're talking about drinking blood, I'm fairly certain it's considered heretical in some part of the Imperium or another.

Is it as heretical as this?

*summons a raincloud over the room*

I thought we could use a little rain...

OOC:Just watched the Martian with Matt Damon. It was pretty good. I wasn't surprised when I saw it was made by Ridley Scott, the guy hasn't failed me yet.

You eat the flesh of your enemies to find out their memories. This functions similarly... I just cut out the chewing part.

[Eye twitch] That mailman had issues. I think I did the world a favour.
[Looks around] ...Not that I ate the mailman.

Not our mailman, anyway.

Don't tell me the mail Inquisitors are coming again. I don't think they were ready to forgive us for the knarloc eating one, now we have a second one dead by one of us.