corrupt a wish!

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**gruebot**

GRANTED! They only come in meat flavors.

I wish for less traffic...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Worldwide pandemic kills 70% of all drivers.

I wish I could teach our cats to play in a cat rock band.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. Now they and about 50 of their strung-out fans are holding drum circles in your bedroom at night.

I wish someone would release actual lions in the middle of a rendition of Cats: The Musical

**snurl**

Granted. But the lions leave the performers alone, because they taste queer.

I wish for new valve stems.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but they are from the first inflatable tires ever made and don't match with any of today's pumps.

I wish I was more motivated to paint minis.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it comes with crippling arthritis

I wish for a total mastery of Git.

**snurl**

Granted. Git. And nothing else.

I wish for more truck innertubes.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but the local hillbillies are pissed because you took their front yard decorations.

I wish today was tomorrow.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but you aren't in it since you disappeared sometime yesterday. Also your cat died either last night (or tonight depending on your wibbly wobbly point of view) because no one was there to save it.

I wish Games Workshop would release a furry marines faction

**snurl**

Granted. No one likes it or buys it, and GW is soon laughed out of business.

I wish for better fake blood.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it keeps expanding no matter the container or surface it's put on. On the plus side, your now-bleeding house has made national news.

I wish for a year's supply of cheese doodles

**snurl**

Granted. They are in a large pile, guarded by 30,000 tarantulas.

I wish i could convince actors to put away their cell phones for a few hours.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. They demand to use your cell phone.

I wish there were rocket launchers and oil slick sprayers mounted on my car.

**snurl**

Granted. The rockets ignite the oil, transforming your car into a flaming ball of road rage.

I wish to stop offending people.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You've been replaced by a nicer, kinder version of you. They keep the original you in the newly renovated attic, chained to a load bearing pole.

*EDIT: This originally said 'Loading Bear' pole and I need coffee

I wish to breathe underwater

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Great white sharks attack you while you're down there.

I wish to remember to post wishes before hitting submit.

**snurl**

Granted. Now you don't remember to grant wishes.

I wish to find an honest mechanic.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but he only deals with honest people

I wish to get rid of all these spiderwebs on my desk

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Rub your face on the desk and they'll come off nicely on it.

I wish I wasn't having second thoughts about the Death Guard army I've already started putting together.

**snurl**

Granted. You are certain your new army will suck immensely.

I wish to enjoy the last few nights of this.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted and you quit your job to do so,

I wish I could receive Roku channels directly into my brain.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but a software compatibility glitch cause your brain to reboot every couple hours.

I wish for a real Rukkatruck Squigbuggy

**snurl**

Granted. It won't start.

I wish for a nice day tomorrow, no rain.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You get 3 feet of snow but sun in the morning.

I wish I could drive Max Rockatansky's V-8 Interceptor.

**snurl**

Granted. You could, but he won't let you.

I wish to make turn signals mandatory.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but a typo means they have to be one all the time, irrgardless if you are making a turn or not. Your commute is now filled with rows and rows of blinking turn signals.

I wish all DakkaDakka avatar were all changed to tasteful pictures of Orks

**snurl**

Granted. For one minute, all avatars are orcs. You missed it.

I wish Halloween lasted until Thanksgiving.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but once children start getting turkey legs in their Halloween candy bags its causes a national uproar and all turkey farmers are thrown in prison.

I wish I had a nice Thanksgiving turkey dinner right now.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but then a angry mob of Thanksgiving trick or treaters burn down your home you candy-hating evildoer.

I wish to be innocent.

**snurl**

Granted. You're innocent everywbere except for social media.

I wish for a great haul today.