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OOC: Commander Farsight (THE KING)
The Verviedi Entity is off eating a Forge World.

BROTHARS! The Tau are here!

We must prepeah for Stehl Reihn. As you know, Captin Dyomidiss is fighting the Beihnblehds with deep strikes!

*to Selym*
Our foe is the orks

Oarks! Steady yourself, brothar!

*Places Battlesuit's hand on chest*

Oh, please no. I'm supposed to be fighting Ultramarines allied with Eldar on the table over there. *Points* I'm really perfectly OK with everyone accept Orks and Tyranids, but I'll fight anyone who has an equal points value army to me.

[Sighs and uses a broom handle to retrieve hat] Bloody Astartes. [Replaces it with a guards man's helmet] Stay warm.

*sighs in irritation and walks off to the Guard Barracks*


OOC: Switching back to the Marine soon. How will he react to the presence of Bluhd Rehvens?

Oh! My records on humanity show that the "Spess Mahreen" "meme" was out of fashion in 2012!

[Uses broom to shoo Verviedi from the barracks] Out! Naughty Tau! Bad xenos!
[Mutters about needing a flamer]

Well-met brothar Commissar!

OOC:

 War Kitten wrote:
*sighs in irritation and walks off to the Guard Barracks*
OOC: Switching back to the Marine soon. How will he react to the presence of Bluhd Rehvens?

He'll go off the wall, and won't stop 'till he gets enough.

https://youtu.be/0M0RbaPxq2k?t=1m12s

*drop pod crashes through the ceiling and lands next to Selym**I walk out*
Hey guys, I'm back, my superiors in the Chapter made me a full apothecary now!
*notices all the dead Blood Ravens*
What did I miss?

*Jetpacks over to WK's position, but rolls double ones and lands 20 meters away*

Hello! You missed me! Are you another casualty from that game on the other table?

I don't believe so, I was just drop podded in from an orbiting battle cruiser of my Chapter. They have a vested interest in this room

Bloody Tau, zooming all over the place. [Shakes broom] In my day we walked, like civilised fething people. In lines no less! Regimented!
[Grumbles and puts broom down] [Goes back to attempting to do paperwork backlog]

*wanders into a nearby jungle for something to kill*

*picks up a piece of paper from BC's paper backlog*
Why exactly do you have a recipe for grox burgers in your paperwork pile?
*takes off helmet and scratches head*
Oh, and while I'm here, does anyone need medical assistance?

Well, welcome to *Pulls notebook out of Battlesuit's gauntlet ammunition reserve* Te'h'room. I just annexed it. My campaign fluff said I could do that.

...But then again, it also put the puppet and I in one army...

Keep it, I have no idea. Probably goes with this napkin. [Holds up stapled napkin]
[Small bird flies out from under pile] ... Did BC ever do any work, or did he just gather up papers like a hamster does? Is that what he thought doing paperwork consisted of?

[Stands up] Not on my watch, you damn upstart xenos! [Looks around for broom to point with, only to find it gone] Bloody Astartes! [Glares at the marine sneaking away with it]
[Settles for throwing a paperweight at Verviedi]

*Draws and cuts the paperweight in half midair with the Dawn Blade*

Please, don't bother. I've made every save so far this campaign. Which is 3 possible. Last game I was shot off the board by a Wraithknight, the game before I tanked a squad of Space Marines before being D-Cannoned... and I mishapped this game.

...You know, the dice really suck for me. At least my fluff is badass.

*Looks at Verviedi in another reality sitting in his chair writing a new chapter of Fragmentation*

Yes, you better make me do something badass.

OOC: It's my personal canon that Farsight sounds like the old guy from Gran Turino.

*to BC*
CBC was a bit of an odd sort, good man, just a bit.... off..... I don't think he ever really did paperwork, just collected paper that came through the room, and stored them with his hat catalogs.

*to Verviedi*
Oh really now? You're claiming the room as yours? You do realize that while Imperial representatives are here that it is Imperial territory? And you're trespassing.
*raises boltgun loaded with vengeance rounds*
These will have no trouble going through your armor xenos.

[Looks back and forth between Verviedi and War Kitten] Do you understand what he's saying?

[Gives up on paperwork for the day and hands over a shoebox full of mail to the postman] [Sends a box of trash and one of filed paperwork back to the barracks]

Whoever claimed six pounds of ball bearings as a business expense, I'm not impressed! [Butter tank beeps quietly]

*to BC*
No, I have no idea what he's talking about. He keeps mentioning a campaign, and fluff, and having mishapped this game. I think he's losing his mind.

[Sighs] [Pulls CBC out of Butter Tank and shows him how to correctly file and fill out paperwork]
[Small epiphany sound effect as CBC sits down and starts happily working]

Turns out in undoing most of his hard wired Commissariat brainwashing, you guys also rinsed his office skills. He's remembering now.

[Hit in the face by flying staples] ...Slow it down a little. [Removes staple from cheek]

*Jetpacks to within 6 meters of WK*

Nah, you physically can't kill me. It's only one round of shooting and then close combat. And the Dawn Blade says hello.

[Butter Tank follows the bouncing Tau and then blasts Verviedi into the wall using a giant orange paintball the size of a beach ball]

...You got the tank excited.

*wounds Verviedi twice with vengeance rounds*
You sure about that? I have more than one attack.

*Passes two invulns*

Your point? I have higher initiative than you! I just Mont'ka you.

*looks irritated at Verviedi*
Fethin' Tau and their invuln saves, back in my day all we got was armor saves, and we had to like it!
*shakes his head*
This is still Imperial territory, whether you like it or not Xeno.

We also have no Gets Hot!

*Unloads plasma rifle into a dead Ork to demonstrate*

Well, of course, I also have Preferred Enemy, because I killed Orks before I became THE KING.