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 Kain wrote:

 Happyjew wrote:
7th edition will be using all of the rules for 2nd edition.

Including Terminators have a 3+ save on 2D6.

In keeping with death star 40k, there will be a way to make this re-rollable and have FNP on top of it.

Because having a two in 36^2*3 chance of actually having a wound stick is fair.

Everyone gets access to the div table and is able to steal relics from the chaos demons. So we got that 2+ on 3d6 rerolling with a 5+fnp. Keep in mine that ap does not ignore invules. This effect always works on ork boys


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Mr Morden wrote:
There are no rules - the game is now entirely narrative

Just the way gw likes it!

Ultramarines finally get the "Stick Up Their Butt" USR, which reads: Any allies in an army containing Ultramarines as the Primary Detachment immediately leave the battle to go play with someone who knows how to have a good time."

The long awaited Kith codex is introduced.

Hahaha, I'm loving this post.
My humble additions:

1. Forging a narrative is no longer a suggestion, but a requirement. Prior to each game your narrative must be typed out in Times New Roman 12-point font, double spaced and sent to GW headquarters for verification. The submitted narrative will be checked for plausibility within whichever version of the 40k universe the authenticator (self titled High Lord Inquisitor) is currently remembering as accurate. Submissions must be detailed and well written, but not so good as to border on potential fan fiction. Once the battle has been approved turn-by-turn descriptions of each phase must be submitted and checked before game play can continue. On the plus side at the game's end victory outcomes can be changed if the losing player can adequately "narrate" why his side didn't actually lose.

2. Converted vehicle models can only be used if the modeler can explain the exact mechanics that drive the vehicle. Ork players will immediately start buying official GW Ork products... or enroll in university and get an engineering degree, whichever is cheaper.

3. Administratum Adminisotrium. Each army must also field a full support unit of administrative officers in charge of the bureaucracy of war. These units will be in charge war essential duties such as, ensuring each model receives its proper allotted pay, writing death notices to next of kin, performing routine inspections for uniform cleanliness, conducting disciplinary hearings for minor infractions, etc.

I'm sure most Ork players end up with unofficial engineering degrees if they take up scratchbuilding anyways so no change there.

 Ricedaddy wrote:
Ultramarines finally get the "Stick Up Their Butt" USR, which reads: Any allies in an army containing Ultramarines as the Primary Detachment immediately leave the battle to go play with someone who knows how to have a good time."

So they go hang out with DEldar and Space Wolves?

As well as some of the more...liberal...Sisters?

Revised Allies Matrix:
---Forces of Benevolence: (Space Marines, Grey Knights, Imperial Knights,Inquisition, Adeptus Tempestus, Eldar, and, oh, all right, Sisters of Battle)
---Forces of Malevolence: (Chaos Space Marines, Chaos Daemons, Orks, Necrons, Dark Eldar)
----Forces of the Tyranids (Tyranids)

All 'good guys' have to fight 'bad guys'. If both players bring good guys, they can fight each other (Scenario: Hissy Fit) and if both players bring bad guys, they can fight each other (Scenario: Pissing Match).

Everybody can fight Tyranids. If your opponent fields Tyranids, you can ally good guys and bad guys, because tyranids suck.

Only good guys can take Fortifications, because we don't make any for anyone else.

All allies on one side use a single force org, but every additional codex, supplement, dataslate, or expansion you bring with you to the game adds one additional choice to each slot on the force org. If you show up with Codex Space Marines, the Imperial Fist supplement, the Inquisition Supplement, Stronghold Assault, Escalation, the Eldar Codex, and the Iyanden Supplement, you can take 9 Wraithknights so long as you take 2 squads of Tactical Marines.

The new Citadel Finepack will carry one of every current codex in print, allowing you the maximum in tactical flexibility in choosing your forces.

Since Jervis's editiorial about creating objectives was so well received, all victory conditions are replaced by a chart where you roll for your objective. All current codexes can use the Objective Chart in the main rulebook, and future codexes and supplements may have their own objective chart.

Objective Chart (d6)

1. Oooooh! I hate that guy! Pick a model in the opposing army, If it dies, you win.

2. This model is my favorite. Pick a model in your army. If it doesn't die, you win.

3. What's over there? Pick a point on the table side opposite your own deployment zone. If you get a model there, you win.

4. Keep out of my yard! Pick a point in your own deployment zone. If an enemy model gets there, you lose.

5. I hate you guys, but that guy's okay. Pick an enemy model. If it doesn't die by the end of the game, you win.

6. I really hate you guys. If any enemy model is alive at the end of the game, you lose.

Deathstrike missiles will be represented accurately, as an upgrade to the army not a unit in the army. they will wipe everything from the board on turn 5, declaring it a win for the guard player, as the deathstrike is still alive, somewhere else.

Exterminatus will be an optional additional detatchment for any imperial list, allowing you to declare the game a tie at any point in which you feel like you're going to lose, then pack your models up and go home undefeated yet again.

Allied detatchments will be bribe-able during games, allowing you to steal a portion of the opponents army. but only if you're a better ally than them (battle bros > convenience > Desperate). every piece of scenery contains genestealers, even fortifications bought by your army. the game starts with every unit in cover being assaulted.

That Blood Angels and Tau will be allies. What? That's been done for real? Get the f*(^ out, no way would that ever happen.......

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:


1 - 5th edition 4 years, 6th edition 2 years... so 7th edition 1 year? 8th edition 6 months? By 2017 we'll be starting a game using 104th edition, but finishing it under 105th. By 2018 with new editions appearing every few picoseconds the 40k rule set will achieve sentience and launch the world's nuclear arsonel in an attempt to fulfil its prime directive "there is only wa

Best thing I've read in ages and quite possibley true !

Codex Jokaero will finally be made, and the starter set will be Jokaero vs Genestealer Cults

The 7th edition release will be accompanied by the release of Codex: Codices, the handy (and mandatory) guidebook on how to read your codex! This of course will be only a gateway project to the release of Codex: Codex: Codices, shortly followed by Codex: Codex: Codex: Codices and Codex: Codex: Codex: Codex: Codices.

Due to an accounting error and outbreak of guilt, all prices are being reduced to their 1988 prices to entice a new generation of players. The BRB goes to $40, with Codices dropping to $15 each. Miniatures, since they're going to all plastic have dropped to an amazing $20US for 30 plastic Space Marines, Imperial Guard, Eldar, Orks, Tau, Squats or Tyranids!

Plastic Sisters of Battle arrive, but for some reason they're all dressed as Magical Girls.

Chaos Space Marines arrive in plastic as well, but are also dressed as Magical Girls for some reason.

Orks will be subject to the infield fly rule after the GW rules staff watched a game of baseball.

(I added the photo since that was the first box of minis I ever bought for WH40K... back in 1988.)

 Happyjew wrote:

 Ricedaddy wrote:
Ultramarines finally get the "Stick Up Their Butt" USR, which reads: Any allies in an army containing Ultramarines as the Primary Detachment immediately leave the battle to go play with someone who knows how to have a good time."

So they go hang out with DEldar and Space Wolves?

As well as some of the more...liberal...Sisters?

Indeed. They may also go for the White Scars. Kahn has a lascivious surname to uphold.

In a last minute decision, GW decides to pull a Paranoia and skip 7th Edition altogether. The new rulebook released in June will be 10th Edition.

To add fuel to the neckbeard's rage, GW will mention that they had an actual book-based codex for both Sisters and Squats, but they were written with the 8th Edition rules in mind, and so are already obsolete and no longer supported.

To enhance the narrative experience the Champions of Chaos rule will now require a Ld test. If passed challenge as normal. If failed the champion is challenged by an upstart from his own unit. Use the model with the highest pts cost - if all models have identical pts value then the entire unit attacks the champion. All models in the unit gain Preferred Enemy: Aspiring Champion for the rest of the turn.

Also, all Champions of Chaos Ld tests made by Abaddon the Despoiler automatically fail.

 Kain wrote:

 Happyjew wrote:
7th edition will be using all of the rules for 2nd edition.

Including Terminators have a 3+ save on 2D6.

In keeping with death star 40k, there will be a way to make this re-rollable and have FNP on top of it.

Because having a two in 36^2*3 chance of actually having a wound stick is fair.

To be fair, 2nd ed also had armor modifiers for each weapon, a boltgun shot was -1 to your armor save so those termies need a 4+ on 2d6. A lascannon was (IIRC) -9................

To lower the power of shooting, you now have to be in base contact with an appropriate ammunition crate in order to shoot a weapon. Ammunition crates have to be bought separately for each type of ammunition, cost 10 points each and do not take up a FOC. Ammunition crates have the following profile:

WS0 BS0 S0 T7 W2 I0 A0 ld7 3+
Special rules: Carry me!, Supply Ammo, He who punched the ammunition, Explosive
Infantry

Carry me!: Ammo crates can not move by themselves. Unless you have models with a total strength of at least 4 in base contact, it counts as immobile.

He who punched the ammo crate: If a model attacks a weapon create in close combat, it gains the Instant Death, Rending and Preferred Enemey: armor crates universal special rules.

Supply Ammo: Units with at least one model in base contact with this model may shoot any weapon that can use the ammo inside this crate. Orks may also elect to shoot weapons that can't use this ammo type and roll on the Explosive table below for each shot fired.

Explosive: When the armor crate loses a wound, roll on the following table:
1-2: Roll on the "See, nothing happened!" table.
3-4: Roll on the "Holy ***!" table.
5: Roll on the "What?! I don't even..." table.
6: Roll two more dice and execute all results.

See, nothing happened:
1-2: Nothing happened. Huh.
3-4: Delayed. At the beginning of your next shooting phase, roll again of the previous table.
5-6: Impending Disaster. Roll twice on the "Holy ****!" table.

Holy ***!:
1-2: Fireworks! Place three small blast markers over the crate and scatter each 1d6. All models under the blast marker suffer a hit from the weapon belonging to the ammunition type.
3-4: Boom! Place two blast markers over the crate an scatter each 1d6. All models under the blast marker suffer a hit from the weapon belonging to the ammunition type.
5-6: May the emperor protect us! Scatter the ammo crate 2d6. Then, each model within 3d6" of the final position of the crate suffer two hits from the weapons belonging to the ammunition type.
Note: If the crate suffers another wound from this, you also roll on the table for that wound.

What?! I don't even...:
1-2: Tripple it! Some ork technology backfired, a warp hole opened and some necron was conducting a time-travel experiment at the same time. Put two additional crates of the same type within 2" with the original one.
3-4: Magic Rainbow Bullets: Until the end of the game, ammunition from this crate counts as strength D AP1 that can be fired by any type of weapon. This also counts for any results on the "Holy ****!" table.
5-6: Wrath of the ammo crate: Replace the ammo crate with a Mimic, with the following stat line:

WS5 BS0 S5 T7 W5 I5 A5 ld7 3+
Special rules: Hammer of wrath, Smash, Move Through Cover, Fear, Furious Charge, Rage, Fearless, Supply Ammo, Explosive, He who punched the ammo crate
Jump Monstrous Creature

A Mimic can be represented by any model not produced by Chapter House.

Ammo crates are available in sets of three for just $40 each, enabling you to build three out of the following: lasgun, bolter, melta, plasma, flamer, heavy flamer, lascannon, assault cannon, autocannon or missile launcher crates.

Codex: Panica Foyarum is released and the Pan Fo are reviled! The Pan Fo multi-part plastic box set contains everything you need to make a 5 Pan Fo squad armed with Fo Blasters. Alternatively they may be assembled as Pan Fo Primes which are otherwise identical except for their large distinctive Command Hats (+1 Ld, Hatred: Adepta Sororitas). Pan Fo and Pan Fo Primes can be taken as HQ, Elites, Troops, Fast Attack or Heavy Support in any Pan Fo army by rolling on the Fo Force table:

1: HQ
2: Elites
3-4: Troops
5: Fast Attack
6: Heavy Support

Note: in the unlikely event that the above does not produce a legal army you and your opponent must pack up your armies in silence and never speak of this again. You are swan to secrecy.

squidhills wrote:
In a last minute decision, GW decides to pull a Paranoia and skip 7th Edition altogether. The new rulebook released in June will be 10th Edition.

To add fuel to the neckbeard's rage, GW will mention that they had an actual book-based codex for both Sisters and Squats, but they were written with the 8th Edition rules in mind, and so are already obsolete and no longer supported.

After 10th though they will release "Warhammer 40,000: The Lost Levels" which will be 7th edition and involve removing everything the players like about 10th edition to make players retroactively more fond of the obsolete edition.

Who gets the first turn will be decided by a pants-off dance-off.

 cardboardcrackhead wrote:
Who gets the first turn will be decided by a pants-off dance-off.

Please god no. So many bad images of Fatties trying to do a pants-off dance-off.

 Xerics wrote:

 cardboardcrackhead wrote:
Who gets the first turn will be decided by a pants-off dance-off.

Please god no. So many bad images of Fatties trying to do a pants-off dance-off.

More of a truffle shuffle?

 Flinty wrote:

 Xerics wrote:

 cardboardcrackhead wrote:
Who gets the first turn will be decided by a pants-off dance-off.

Please god no. So many bad images of Fatties trying to do a pants-off dance-off.

More of a truffle shuffle?

 Abadabadoobaddon wrote:
Codex: Panica Foyarum is released and the Pan Fo are reviled! The Pan Fo multi-part plastic box set contains everything you need to make a 5 Pan Fo squad armed with Fo Blasters. Alternatively they may be assembled as Pan Fo Primes which are otherwise identical except for their large distinctive Command Hats (+1 Ld, Hatred: Adepta Sororitas). Pan Fo and Pan Fo Primes can be taken as HQ, Elites, Troops, Fast Attack or Heavy Support in any Pan Fo army by rolling on the Fo Force table:

1: HQ
2: Elites
3-4: Troops
5: Fast Attack
6: Heavy Support

Note: in the unlikely event that the above does not produce a legal army you and your opponent must pack up your armies in silence and never speak of this again. You are swan to secrecy.

This I would buy.

But only if they can ally with Sensei Warbands.

The squats will become a legal army again. They can only be allied with dark angels.

7th edition will be entirely made of organic and sustainable materials, and cure cancer.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:

 Abadabadoobaddon wrote:
Codex: Panica Foyarum is released and the Pan Fo are reviled! The Pan Fo multi-part plastic box set contains everything you need to make a 5 Pan Fo squad armed with Fo Blasters. Alternatively they may be assembled as Pan Fo Primes which are otherwise identical except for their large distinctive Command Hats (+1 Ld, Hatred: Adepta Sororitas). Pan Fo and Pan Fo Primes can be taken as HQ, Elites, Troops, Fast Attack or Heavy Support in any Pan Fo army by rolling on the Fo Force table:

1: HQ
2: Elites
3-4: Troops
5: Fast Attack
6: Heavy Support

Note: in the unlikely event that the above does not produce a legal army you and your opponent must pack up your armies in silence and never speak of this again. You are swan to secrecy.

This I would buy.

But only if they can ally with Sensei Warbands.

Would that become your cygnet-ure force?

1.) Bad news: 7th edition rulebook sold out within a month, no reprint planned. Good news: 8th edition will come just before the next financial year ends.
2.) Due to customer demand, 40k will return to be a skirmish game. The starter box is Imperium vs. Eldar and includes 3 Imperial Knights and 3 Wraithknights.
3.) FOC is gone, percentages are introduced. 20% of your model count must be models costing 100+ $ .
4.) Only super-heavies are scoring. Currently, only the Imperial Knight is a super-heavy, with units for the non-Imperial armies following.
5.) For all armies, Fortress of Redemption is now mandatory. Tyranids have to take two, but can't use the guns.
6.) All special rule names are not translated to other languages. So it is overwatch™ and relentless™ in non-English versions as well.
7.) Strenght E weapons confirmed!
8.) Sororitas are discontinued. The webstore lists them under base decoration for Grey Knights.
9.) All Codices will be released in FineDigital format, that can only be read by the limited release FineTablet™ sold by GW for only 999$ (1499 $ with canvas bag). Support for other digital formats stops immediately. Autoupdate will delete the version you currently have.
10.) Named characters become mandatory. Miniatures for named characters are discontinued.
11.) Instead of d6, you now need special dice, dozens of them, only available via GW.
12.) Tom Kirby and GW legal are credited as authors.
13.) It will contain no typos ... just kidding
14.) 40k is renamed Pugna Futuriosis™.

 Mr Morden wrote:
There are no rules - the game is now entirely narrative

 ClockworkZion wrote:
Oh! The new edition will be the thing that sways Kroothawk's opinion of GW as a successful, stable company and makes the overall fan base happy.

Too much of a stretch?

Don't be silly