Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

well then you picked up the right things in those books... ^^

just think of the matrix... slomo action^^ that´s how the reader likes it^^ nasty and ugly... with lots of "boom" "bang" and "zap" and "crush"

^^

Just fleshed out the fight scene, but then I had an "apache tomcat error 5.5" and it didn't post
So I'll try and re-do it as much as possible while it's still in my mind:

as quick as it was unexpected, half a dozen of the raven guard were killed by blurs of motion that nearly, but not quite, managed to remain unseen. Audax was wounded in that brief and deadly struggle, but managed to slay one of the creatures with his force staff. On further inspection, it was some kind of giant insect with dozens of legs. Even the legendary raven guard weren't expecting that. They were looking for rampaging daemons, not giant insects. Lenore leaned in over the twitching creature, and sent a plasma round through it's head, just to be sure. He was hailed over the vox link by Praxis- he had found something. The newfound enemies were guarding no mere cave- they were guarding some kind of nest.

as Praxis turned to get the others over, another insect smacked him off his feet, requiring some strength seeing as he was in full terminator armour. The abominations snaked around the walls, tens of them, and soon every raven guard was fighting for his life. Brother Argon was sent hurtling through into the far corner of the cave by one, and as he got up was impaled by two legs of another. Sergeant Hontor managed to climb the back of one and sent a one-handed bolter round through the top of it's head. The lifeless body reared up in it's death throes and shook the hero off, before falling down and crushing his legs. Bolt rounds had to be sent through eyes or between exoskeleton plates to cause any significant damage, and the astartes adapted quickly by drawing its attention away, then using a well-placed krak grenade placed in unarmoured gaps to destroy them from the inside. Lenore ducked the blow of one, and brought his plasma pistol to bear, but it was knocked out of his hand by a second. He pivoted with the blow to absorb it and stop his arm from breaking, and as he completed his 180 degree turn, disintegrated the head of the second with a vicious right hook. The first had regained it's composure now, and raised two front legs to stab down on him, but he rolled away from the attack before reclaiming his plasma pistol and blowing out it's torso. As the last of the monsters were wiped out by blasts of plasma and crackling power weapons, there were a mere two-dozen raven guard left.

yeah!!! now you are in the mood for kicking buts! thats more of a cool fight... i especially like the way you brought the counter motions of the marines when attacked, into the fight...
the turning to avoid amrs breaking is a very good idea...one can picture this...also i like the vicious death of Brother Argon ... that makes a battle worth reading! more of that style!

^^
the tomcat error tried to get me again, but I remembered and copied the post before attempting to post it

shrike wrote:...and Champion Ultis, who'd bested the leader of just about every race he'd come across...

Lenore decided that he would take his company to the agricultural farming world of Thoria III, an industrial world on the fringes of the deliverence system, where local planetary defence forces and a small warband of imperial guardsmen led by a commissar-general were fighting to contain a chaos-driven uprising.
Lenore met with his senior officers- Veteran sergeant Validus, Epistolary Audax, Chaplain Praxis, Terminator sergeant Invect, Scout sergeant Caddius and Command squad veteran Oten. He discussed deployment plans, and settled to split his forces in two- one to be led by Audax and Invect, another to be led by Lenore and Praxis personally. Oten was amongst those who stuck with Lenore to quash the rebellion in the capital, along with a tactical, devastator and bike squads.
To be spread out amongst the rest of the outlying cities and towns were Validus, Caddius, an assault and tactical squads. There were three cities and two towns in the immediate viscinity of the capital of Eros.
By the time the squad leaders had arranged thier squad's deployments using more focused and in-detail maps of thier area, they were reaching planetary orbit.

edited deployment.

duly noted the changes... but the changes will make probably more sense in the future as for now i don´t see one...

in bold- some squads have switched places.

ok... and why is it of imprtance to the story that´s unfolding?


after all the average reader does not bring forth such questions... he merely states... well what the heck and if he wants to reads on... or... conflict happens and he stops... so carefull there... if the choice is for personal reason...then bring those on... like some pairs of officers are very close and have fought in numreous battles alongside each other and arre a brilliant team together...you know something like that....

Not giving anything away yet, but I have a rough idea of the storyline that will ensue, and characters being different places effects the storyline.

now that makes sense then!

feeling very creative today- third update this evening!

By the time the squad leaders had arranged thier squad's deployments using more focused and in-detail maps of thier area, they were reaching planetary orbit.

There were three city-sized communities near Eros, all of which the locals named imaginatively- "Hab-block Beta", "Segmentum Munitorum" and "Agri-plantation", a habitation block, factory and rural farmland respectively. Audax and his accompanying assault squad deployed in the farmland, Sternguard squad Validus in the munitorum, Invect in the habs where tactical dreadnought armour was in it's element and Scout squad Caddius scouting around the hab complex. Sergeant Hontor (with newly augmented legs) went to the two outlying towns to herd the population into the relative safety of Eros.
Tactical squad Chrontus guarded the entrance to Eros, Devastator squad Ungis along the walls to the inner city, Sentor patrolling the borders of the outer city, while Praxis, Oten and Lenore went to the main spire to meet with the Commissar-General and his senior staff.

do in sense a tad ounze of sarcasm here? but more is needed^^

Three updates in one day and more is needed?
do in sense a tad ounze of sarcasm here?

i meant do i sense a bit of sarcasm here... the way the astardes react upon the names of the communities...:

all of which the locals named imaginatively...

and of course more... i bet some action will surley hapen soon....tension is building...

that it is
but first we are yet to meet the defender of Thoria III- the as-yet-unseen general-commissar...

well then bring him on!^^

It's late and I have to wake up in 6 and a half hours, leave me be!

lol... me too... clock rings for me around 6:30 and that even one hour earlier for me than you because of time shift...

Viktor von Domm wrote:lol... me too... clock rings for me around 6:30 and that even one hour earlier for me than you because of time shift...

and you germans are all about efficiency- prep your kit and get to bed!

sir yes sir!


hut hut hut...

*brisk salute*

lol....you´re on again...me too, but not for long^^

Inspirational.

erm, thanks!
hope you'll follow this as it develops

er.... development? you call that development? been away for two days... even nearing three and do i see an update??? well do i? he? eh? eh?... i think not...*shotgun gets reloaded*

Well I used all my creativity on friday ^^
you pull a shotgun on me?
*cocks two shotguns*
Yes. I can do that with two shotguns at once.

mate... don´t ask me to draw the third, man! just don´t ask me^^

i love servants of the empire!!! i followed that strip for a long time!!! and this one describes our clash quite good^^

^^

BTW I won't be posting any more updates over next week (very busy), so I'll try and add one before then. I'd love to promise a day, but it really depends on when my imagination is at it's best