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Science fiction author Robert Heinlein once wrote, "An armed society is a polite society." I think there's more to the quote than that, but that's all that fits on the t-shirt. His concept is simple: when everyone has a gun, no one is willing to risk gun death by farting uproariously or discussing a woman's bosom. Society then becomes very peaceful and happy and polite.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/guns-town-hall.php

Actually, after reading the chart, I believe that it should be "every american should own an ATOMIC WARHEAD".

I am not sure it is really working so far...

A society that is forced into politeness through fear really isn’t that ideal at all. Politeness should be a voluntary gesture of goodwill towards your fellow man, not something you do for fear of having your head blown off.

Exactly. We seem to be getting along fine without being armed to the teeth! The difference here is that if you offend someone badly enough, you might end up with a smack in the face. Unpleasant of course - but not deadly.

The issue has never been with being able to own and carry a gun, but in being indescriminate as to who has access to them and how readily available they are.

It may suprise some from outside the UK to learn that anyone over here can legaly own a fire arm, it is just the case that our laws are a lot tighter on, how they are obtained and stored, what they are used for and what type of firearm it is.

I would imagine that the majority of people in any society where firearms are widespread do not carry them for any practical purpose (such as hunting) but because they are concerned that everyone else has them so they should have one too.

People who think that having a gun means others are going to be more polite to you are confusing respect with fear.

halonachos wrote:Actually, after reading the chart, I believe that it should be "every american should own an ATOMIC WARHEAD".

Poor France...

Just make sure you buy 'Merican guns. Not no commy guns. Especially no commy Tommyguns. That's right out.

We need mandatory military and civil service. Too many kids desperately need a swift kick in the ass in this world of myspace and facebook. Next generation might very well be too distant and lack the basic social skills to be productive citizens and decent human beings. Military/civil training and environments will quickly remedy this as it forces people to work well in team situations.

Not to mention we're too damn fat! You'll get a few birds with this stone.

Here come the British, with their fancy words and their let's talk this out peacefully attitude. This is why you guys lost World War I and II. The real 'Mericans will go over to our side of the thread, and have a real man's conversation while stroking our guns in a manner that is vaguely Freudian. While you Brit fops can sit on your side, which I may mention is much smaller than ours, and talk about chavs and nutella.

*bee tee dubs bought some nutella that gak is off the hook.

Everyone should wear a bomb vest, all the time.

Then both parties would have a motive for keeping things peaceful.

agreed. It'd also remove a lot of idiots from the gene pool. The real question then is how many non-idiots will die because of the morons.

+++ venting removed +++

oh.... and something Awful is Awesome as always

Satire, cheap satire, but satire nonetheless. Come on, when are we gonna get a modern Jonathon Swift?!?!

I own a gun. But I am not polite.....

avantgarde wrote:Here come the British, with their fancy words and their let's talk this out peacefully attitude. This is why you guys lost World War I and II. The real 'Mericans will go over to our side of the thread, and have a real man's conversation while stroking our guns in a manner that is vaguely Freudian. While you Brit fops can sit on your side, which I may mention is much smaller than ours, and talk about chavs and nutella.

*bee tee dubs bought some nutella that gak is off the hook.

Oh dear how awfuly rude, I shall have to go and discuss this with the Queen over a cup of tea and a fish and chip supper. Meanwhile you can start another war in the jungle you can't finish.

Toodle Pip old boy!

ROFL

I thought everyone knew that happiness is a warm gun.

Albatross wrote:Exactly. We seem to be getting along fine without being armed to the teeth!

Of course, that's why there are all the other threads about what to do when Chavs come into your gaming stores and break people's toys.

A gun? Just one? I guess that I could transfer 'ownership' of some to my wife and kids, so that I only have one.

Cane wrote:We need mandatory military and civil service. Too many kids desperately need a swift kick in the ass in this world of myspace and facebook. Next generation might very well be too distant and lack the basic social skills to be productive citizens and decent human beings. Military/civil training and environments will quickly remedy this as it forces people to work well in team situations.

Not to mention we're too damn fat! You'll get a few birds with this stone.

Kids in my area are very social. Everywhere I walk, whether it's Wal-mart or the fabric store with the gf or the grocery store kids are very social toward one another. Most have taken up sign language. It is amazing how apparently flashing gang signs at passers by is supposed to be some form of communication. I think I'm going to start flashing the sign of the Aquilla.

Lots of kids (dare I say most teens) lack social skills as they really aren't taught beyond elementary school. It's as if as soon as they hit junior high they are left to develop them further and or refine them on their own. To transition from elementary to junior high and then to high school is a very big step socially and one that teachers and parents take for granted. I mean hell, there is a lot of social discrimination based on status and parents income and grade level (ie 6th, 7th or 8th) vs elementary and it's even more pronounced in HS and lots of teens choose not to mature socially even though they are maturing grade wise and age wise.

I say take every CURRENT 12-16yo in the country that is physically able and send them off to a Marine Corps style boot camp. Marine corps has the most difficult and strictest boot camp in the US. Teach kids today some discipline because I don't think that many of them get it at home.

Okay, not about guns but I got sidetracked. I don't think everyone owning a gun would make everyone in the world more polite. You would have fethtards trying to pull gak because they would have a gun as well and so would think they'd be able to back up words with action. They could but they also risk getting killed.

JEB_Stuart wrote:Satire, cheap satire, but satire nonetheless. Come on, when are we gonna get a modern Jonathon Swift?!?!

I thought Glenn Beck was our Swift. Well, at least he's the best concept comedian since Andy Kauffman.

I own several hundred (thousand?) guns! Sadly, the 9mm size is their actual length and not their ammunition size.

LuciusAR wrote:A society that is forced into politeness through fear really isn’t that ideal at all. Politeness should be a voluntary gesture of goodwill towards your fellow man, not something you do for fear of having your head blown off.

Laudable thoughts, but don't represent reality too well in a lot of places.

Actually, I suppose it would merely give raise to whole sorts of vigilantes. And all those 'big boys' are going to want to wave their shiny toys around and eventually blow some ones head off.

Let's say two mates get into a drunken scuffle.

1) No guns on either of them. They fight, scrap whatever, before falling down or getting dragged away by other friends. They may choose to ignore each other or may even make up when sober.

2) Both have guns. The end result is either one or both of them dead.

Agreed.

What? That friends should drink and get into fights as often as possible as long as no firearme are involved?

(J/K)

Ahtman wrote:I thought everyone knew that happiness is a warm gun.

Tell that to John Lennon.


Ba dum tish!

Too soon?

Of course, that's why there are all the other threads about what to do when Chavs come into your gaming stores and break people's toys.

Most of those stories take place in the USA - strangely enough no incidents of people getting brassed up over dropping a Big Mek w/Shokk attack Gun!

All I thought about was the idea that the wild west was somehow polite? Am I missing something here? Movies or what have you aside, the west with all it's firearms was heavily underpopulated, and there were shootings all the time... anyway though, perrty funny art-eecle right tharrr... I tell ya' whu-hut.

People should be able to own firearms, and as far as I can tell, they will do that whether the government wants them to or not, especially in the freaking U.S. Land of shotguns and cheeseburgers... and Budweiser and fishing too... I like to fish though, but that is okay, because I don't drink Budweiser. Those things make me piss like a horse, and being on a boat while fishing and pissing and farting... well, I kinda like the fishing part to be honest. , I do plenty of pissing and farting either way.