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I'm dead scared of holding babies. I broke my dog's leg the day I got her when she started wiggling and I dropped her, and I'm worried that babies wouldn't fare any better.

My arms are deathtraps. Don't let me hug you.

Waaagh_Gonads wrote:
Initailly pretty bloody annoying as he was nonresponsive to me and soaked up heaps of time, but since about the 3 month mark where he has become more interactive he is getting better every day.

That's something that either people dont understand or feel its too "cold" or rude to point out.

Babies are annoying to Dad once they first come home...almost universally. Mother has bonded with the child over 9 months so has a natural attachment. Dad all of a sudden has a little monster who only screams, poops, and 'needs'. It takes some time, fatherhood begins to come into its own once you can actually "play" with your son/daughter, then ESPECIALLY once you can communicate with them.

....I'm waiting to see how awesome it will be to finally play 40k with the little squirt....and kick his a$$!

Cheese Elemental wrote:

My arms are deathtraps. Don't let me hug you.

Good one Cheesy

I think it means preparing your children so that they have a life that is better than yours mainly so the child can buy the father a fishing boat. That's what my dad says anyways.

Waaagh_Gonads wrote:
I'm also planning ahead for him in terms of what schools to go to, what sports to promote, what musical instrument to play, etc.

Just make sure you play out all his time. My parents made me learn two instruments, I hated them both. The instruments. Not the parents...

halonachos wrote:I think it means preparing your children so that they have a life that is better than yours mainly so the child can buy the father a fishing boat. That's what my dad says anyways.

QFT hopefully after I get well-established in a company I'm going to buy my dad a boat. When I was in highschool I was injured during a football game. They opted to pay for the surgery. They didn't have insurance that would cover it at the time. He never said a word about it, but right before or after the surgery he sold his bass boat. I think he did it so that they could pay for the surgery. I'm not trying to say my dad is a saint, but the time frame was way too convenient. He loves to fish and he wouldn't have done it unless it meant we were going on the street.

To be a Father means giving up everything you have to give the best to your children.

Apparently our friends think I'm some kind of "baby whisperer".

If they want their offspring to be quiet they give it to me to hold for a while. My apparent disinterest in their gurgling is a pacifying thing.

I always manage to hand them back before they poop or upchuck, too.

A Father is many things:

Good Dad: He will love, nuture, and guide the child to the best of his ability, and will remain around to help the child long after they have left the nest. They will act as disciplnarian, teacher, judge, jury, executioner, and friend.

Bad Dad: SOmeone who feths the mommy, runs off, or sticks around and is a really sh*tty person that cause nothing but pain and misery, which can result in a fethed up person who repeats the cycle, or someoen determined to do better then the one who came before them.

I am blessed to have the first type I have listed.

I love you dad.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

chromedog wrote:I can't ever "know" what it's like.
I can't have them, and the wife is in the same position.

We'll settle for the meagre approximation of "happiness" that we can know, and do so knowing that it cannot be diminished by anyone else's opinion on what "true" happiness is.

Very sorry to hear that. You could adopt. It's what I plan on doing. Someday.

We could, but the number of hoops you have to jump through to even get on the "approved" list is not worth the effort.

But since neither of us WANT children, it's fine by us.

I have held my baby nephew three times. It felt amazing to have a little living thing in my hands, who was barely a week old and using his arms. He's strong.
It was then that i give him back to his mother, because I was afriad he would puke or crap on me. And not a moment too soon! And the two times after that, I handed him off to someone else right before he did anything. Like I had a sixth sense. Maybe that's what it means to be a father?

To me, it means that there is someone in my life who I make sacrifices for. It means that I don't have as much spending money, or free time, or a host of other freedoms. But I have a little guy who I'm taking care of, and that's a fair trade, IMO.

I hope to be a father one day, though I haven't found somebody that I would care to actually raise a family with and spend my life with.

I hope to do it better than my father did for me, running out when I was 6 and fething over much of my early life. I think that's probably one of my biggest lifetime goals, possibly the biggest.

sA

I think it means you are bound to be disappointed with the way kids are turning out these days. There is a lack of morals and culture. The media is part of the problem. I had one son and he turned out to be a fine man. I wouldn't raise a child these days for sure.

G

Yes, but the children of today are taught by the children of the 60s, 70s, and 80s.

yeah but do you remember how screwed up those decades were.

Its the children of the 90s who are the ones to watch out for.

G

Come now, what's wrong with us?

Cheese Elemental wrote:Come now, what's wrong with us?

Your reading about fatherhood advice on a wargaming forum?

Isn't the problem with you guys, who are posting fathering advice on a wargaming forum?

Who is the bigger fool; the fool who leads, or the fool who follows the fool who leads?

Cheese Elemental wrote:Isn't the problem with you guys, who are posting fathering advice on a wargaming forum?

Yeah because we've seen the failed parenting and know the ways to correct it.

Who's posting fathering advice? I'm asking what it means.

You shouldn't be a father unless you can fulfill at least all of these qualities:

1. Being there for the kid. Money/phone-calls/gifts are great but are no real substitute to spending much needed quality time throughout a child's life (especially a son) and well into adulthood. .

2. Being financially able to take care of the family. This is more of a traditional mindset but if you're struggling financially just to make it by yourself; do your kid and family a favor and save up money before bringing someone else into your problems. I hate it when people have kids and they aren't at least financially ready..thats just irresponsible. College/medical insurance/unexpected emergencies/money for family outings and trips/Basic necessities like food and housing --- these should all be within the family's budget.

3. Accepting the kid for who he is. Sure you can raise a child this and that but ultimately the kiddo is still a human being that will be capable of making decisions that deserve to be respected especially once the kid isn't really a kid anymore. If you're one of those people who shun gays/Christians/atheists/Warhammer/whatever and then you're child turns out to be one and you excommunicate them or traumatize them...you don't have the emotional maturity to be a father. Not to mention the possible defects and disorders that children can be born with.

4.. Marrying and living with a wife that will be a great mother and family member. Its impossible to tell the future but many cases of divorces and what-not; the couple didn't even really live with eachother until after the wedding ceremony. Anyone that has had roommates before, especially good friends as roommates, knows that living with a person and hanging around with one are two very different things. Which is just irresponsible as a father imo; you should see if you're actually compatible living with your love for a few years before bringing someone else imo.

The above points are what it means to be a father and personally I will not bring someone into this world until I know for sure I've at least fulfilled those three basic and required criteria.

wow....unexpected thread...but certainly interesting as well as entertaining
i hope to be a father some day but most people don't get started when they're 15...so I've got a while to wait at least. I'm blessed to have really good parents, who were raised themselves by some pretty awesome people, so I've got to say I'm thankful for that. I don't know entirely what it means to be a father but one day I guess I'll find out...and hopefully I won't screw it up. That's the plan at least, who knows what the future holds?

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:I have held my baby nephew three times. It felt amazing to have a little living thing in my hands, who was barely a week old and using his arms. He's strong.
It was then that i give him back to his mother, because I was afriad he would puke or crap on me. And not a moment too soon! And the two times after that, I handed him off to someone else right before he did anything. Like I had a sixth sense. Maybe that's what it means to be a father?

You have learned much young Padawan. In all seriousness, of course there is a tremendous amoutn more to it than that.

garret wrote:yeah but do you remember how screwed up those decades were.

That's the point.