A very happy St. Patrick's Day to all on Dakka Dakka

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**Albatross**

St. Patricks Day: That magical time of year when people remember that their great, great, great grandfather was half-Irish, and decide to show this by wearing a fething stupid green jester's hat and drinking a pint of Guiness.

**Da Boss**

Only 1 pint? Judging by the crowds on the streets today, and all that WHAT I HOPE WAS WATER it's generally more than 1 pint.

I haven't touched a drop today. I think I'm going to get stocious on St. George's Day though, for the gaks and giggles.

Did I hear right that they turn the beer green in the States? Terrible thing to do to a pint.

**FITZZ**

@ Da Boss.

Yes,you heard right.
For some reason here in the states it's "tradition" to drink green beer ( and later to puke green puke)...I honestly have no idea why/were the tradition of dying beer green began.
I myself wont touch the stuff,if I do go down to the bar I have a few drinks,comment on the fact that "No,I'm not wearing green,nice of you to notice,pinch me and I'll knock you out your seat.",listen to a bit of music and go home before every one starts falling over (although that can be fun to watch).

**Sergeant Horse**

DeluX wrote:
Sergeant Horse wrote:Delux, where are you from in South East Ireland? I'm from New Ross myself
No way! I'm from Horeswood! Living in Waterford now though

small world eh

if you know it, my family owns Bridge Records in Ross

you can go meet my brother there any day, but I haven't lived there for a good few years, went to college in Limerick and then moved here 4 years ago

**Nightwatch**

mattyrm wrote:Seeing as dakkas mods censor me with a gusto rarely seen outside of North Korea whenever i say anything negative about religion i will merely say that i fail to see whats to celebrate about some bloke introducing Christianity to Ireland. And following years of sectarian violence and numerous disgusting examples of child abuse involving the church im truly stunned that people celebrate anything at all. Still, im sure 99% of people dont read newspapers or history books, so any excuse for a good booze up eh? Cheers! :-)

I'm not a mod but...
Just because a few people are corrupt doesn't mean the whole kit and caboodle is, in the same way that not all politicians are stupid and evil, despite popular opinion.
I have to say, the media certainly magnifies the shame, because someone of that stature and position is supposed to be better than the rest of us. However, I'm certain that the majority of pedophiles aren't Catholic priests, and vice versa. However, the way people celebrate St Patrick's day has certainly...changed...over the years.

**Albatross**

Da Boss wrote:Only 1 pint? Judging by the crowds on the streets today, and all that WHAT I HOPE WAS WATER it's generally more than 1 pint.

Oh, they probably drink plenty of booze - I just think it's hilarious to see a 'plastic Paddy' (you know the type - Half-Irish Grandma, born and raised in England/America/Australia etc.) choke down a pint of Guiness and exclaim: 'What, this? Oh, I drink it all the time. To be sure.' Or dropping 'yer man' into conversations - you're from Salford! So were your parents! And THEIR parents, even!

fething idiots.

I HATE Manchester Irish Festival.

**dogma**

Somehow I haven't had even a single drop of liquor. This is a strange feeling.

**JEB_Stuart**

I feel your pain Dogma...

**JohnHwangDD**

Indeed. Happy Paddy's Day.

And enjoy my avatar.

**mattyrm**

Green pints? Your fething kidding arent you? Something in my brain makes me shy away from things like that. For example my sister in law bought some green heinz tomato sauce for halloween, it was identical in taste im pretty sure, but it sat unused in the house for months before it got threw out. Anyway, it sounds ridiculously childish to turn a pint green, and reminds me of the gakkers in manchester that alb mentioned. Drink beer, theres no need to alter its bloody colour.

**J.Black**

Albatross wrote:
I HATE Manchester Irish Festival.

Lol, i remember a few of those. The trick was to find a good vantage point in a bar then go pick up all the notes that the silly fethers dropped after their 30th pint

I recall an amusing incident when i worked in a Sushi deli owned by an Irish woman. She was quite mad and insisted we all had a pint of Stout for breakfast on St.Patricks day once. The combination of my real breakfast (Raw Tuna fish and wasabi) and the Stout made me feel nauseous for a good hour or two, not helped by the fact that she was speaking loudly in Irish to her relatives for most of the morning. Much to the bemusement of the customers

Happy times.

**Alfred McMango**

It's the one time of the year that all the irishmen get together and have a pint or two or even three nobody knows because after their tenth round they forget their way home but they were smart enough to start drinking a few pints of good memories and vomit and disguise it as a "family gathering" just for the cops. When it comes to st. Patricks day i think the irish are celebrating the name patrick and the holiness that comes with alcohol

**JohnHwangDD**

mattyrm wrote:Green pints? Your fething kidding arent you?

Anyway, it sounds ridiculously childish to turn a pint green,

Drink beer, theres no need to alter its bloody colour.

Nope. I've seen them.

Yup, it is. But what would one expect in a simplistic place like America, where only the crudest of stereotypes are allowed for Paddy's day?

Unless you're pretending to be Irish on "pretend to be Irish" day...

But seriously, it's one day a year. People have fun. No need to cry over it.

**dogma**

Chicago dyes the river green as well.

**Khornholio**

dogma wrote:Chicago dyes the river green as well.

By the taste of it, that's where the pints come from.

**Jin**

I had some Guinness and got to hear my bartender playing the bagpipes for the barfolk:

The bartender's the one on the left

.

**Albatross**

Bagpipes are Scottish. Uilleann pipes are Irish.

**Jin**

Albatross wrote:Bagpipes are Scottish. Uilleann pipes are Irish.

While true, the pipes in the picture are not Uilleann pipes.

**Gitzbitah**

More importantly, are they calling from glen to glen, and down the mountain side?

**Albatross**

Jin wrote:
Albatross wrote:Bagpipes are Scottish. Uilleann pipes are Irish.

While true, the pipes in the picture are not Uilleann pipes.

...which is why it seems weird to be playing them in an Irish Bar, on St. Patrick's Day.

**Jin**

You know they're not soley played by Scots, right?

It'd have been a bigger faux pas for them to be wearing Scottish tartans, which they're not. Also, 'bagpipes' do tend to refer to the family of instruments, not just the Great Highland Bagpipe (which, judging by the pic, is what they're playing).

EDIT. either way, my last words on the matter.

**Frazzled**

Gitzbitah wrote:More importantly, are they calling from glen to glen, and down the mountain side?

Or even more important, playing in front of columns of hairy guys with claymores marching south.
Yerp!

**Albatross**

Jin wrote:You know they're not soley played by Scots, right?

It'd have been a bigger faux pas for them to be wearing Scottish tartans, which they're not. Also, 'bagpipes' do tend to refer to the family of instruments, not just the Great Highland Bagpipe (which, judging by the pic, is what they're playing).

EDIT. either way, my last words on the matter.

Fair enough, enjoy your 'Theme-Park Irishness'. I don't mind at all.

**MeanGreenStompa**

Since the Scots are descended from the Irish Celts who drove out the Picts...

Anyways, Albatross, you sound like a snob. All bagpipes share a common ancestry and what's more important is the craic, not the authenticity of the instruments.

If he enjoys his 'theme park' Irishness, given that he is indeed thousands of miles from Ireland and enjoying a festival which is now all about having a few pints then fair feckin play to him.

Having suffered you prattling saxon filth crossing the Tamar for years and bastardising Cornish traditions for your own 'oh ya, isn't it so quaint, we simply must keep it exactly as it is and why don't all these cornish people wear duckfrocks and chew corn?' twee stereotyped visions of what my homeland should be like according to the Daily Mail picture postcard you dreary mongrels all buy into, I can sincerely tell you that as long as the yanks are having a beer and enjoying themselves, I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Now unplug thy head from thine arse and climb down off yer mountain.
If you do, I'll buy you a pint, you dirty saxon mongrel...

**Sergeant Horse**

damn brits.......

**Frazzled**

Wait is that a Grrlll playing a bagpipe? Isn't that against the law or something?

Next thing you know they'll be wanting to vote n' such.

**Mannahnin**

I've never actually physically seen a green pint, though I've heard of them.

St. Patrick's day is fun. It's fun to have a holiday of drunkenness and fellowship, even if most of our Irish is much-diluted.

I stole this great prescription for how to celebrate properly from another message board a few years ago:

To preface this, I do not endorse a holiday dedicated to this guy named Patrick who if you replace "chase snakes out" with "burn, rape, and pillage non-catholics out" of Ireland, somehow lessens his stature in the eyes of a loving god.

I do however, celebrate March 17th as a day for appreciating Irish herritage along with it's more traditional activities. Drinking!

St. Patrick's Day: the one day of the year when the 2% of the world's population that's Irish gets the other 98% completely tore back.

Leg 1: 7 a.m. to 9 a.m.
Rise and shine early. Take a long, hot shower, and liberally use aftershave, perfume, cologne, deodorant and powders afterwards, because by 3 p.m., you will be excreting raw alcohol and other poisons. And without proper preparations, you will smell like a three-day dead cat wrapped in a fraternity carpet.

The bars open at 9, so use this first hour or so to prepare. Collect the following supplies and put them in a place where you will easily be able to find it in an impaired condition. We recommend the bathroom floor, between the toilet and the baseboard heater, since that's where you'll probably end up:
1 quart spring water
1 bottle aspirin
5 pairs Depends undergarment
1 bottle Percocet
1 gram morphine sulphate
1 oz. human adrenaline extract
1 precharged electric defibrillator
4 Cardiac needles
1 trauma surgeon

Brew a strong pot of coffee. Add 9 oz. Jameson Irish whiskey, drink. Note that coffee should be drunk liberally throughout the day.

There is a reason that the Irish invented Irish Coffee; unless you ingest a large volume of artificial stimulants throughout the course of St. Patrick's Day, you are going to die. Arrange to be picked up to be taken to the bar by 8:45 a.m. We cannot stress enough that you should not drink and drive. There is no reason to chance losing your license or killing someone in a drunken state when you have plenty of idiot friends willing to take that risk on your behalf.

Leg 2: 9 a.m. to 11 a.m.
Arrive at the bar right when it opens. Make sure this is an Irish bar if at all possible. An Irish bar in Boston is the best alternative, since Boston in Gaelic means West Killarney. However, almost every city in America has bars called The Blarney Stone, McSomethings, or The Dirty Mick. Just try to ignore the fact that the bar is probably owned by Koreans. Secure a barstool and do not leave it under any circumstances. The bar is liable to be packed by noon, and real Irish people do not wait in line for drinks, no matter what the consequences. While we do recommend the use of an adult undergarment to mask unpleasant smells, it really doesn't matter. By afternoon, you'll be sopping wet with spilled beer anyway, and your mild urine smell will be completely overpowered by the toxic stench of vomit.

We recommend starting out with a few more Irish Coffees to spike the stimulant level, however, you should not order an "Irish Coffee," as you will be given a fruity little glass mug topped with whipped cream and a cherry, and some guy named Seamus will call you a yuppie poseur while putting a cigarette out on your neck. Ask for coffee with whiskey and ask the bartender to leave the whipped cream can, as nothing will add spice to your day like the occasional whippet.

Leg 3: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
It's lunchtime! You may not be hungry, but it's important to eat something, because like Sheriff Bart said in Blazing Saddles: "Man drinks like that and don't eat, he is going to die." If you want to maintain your buzz and not get that hideous, bloated feeling that could slow down your drinking, there are only two options: popcorn or Pop Tarts. Both have the carbohydrates you'll need to give you energy, both will soak up excess bile in your stomach, and both have names that are hard to slur. If you start slurring your words too early, you'll hear the most frightening phrase in the English language on St. Patrick's Day besides "I'm pregnant;" "You're cut off."

By now, you should switch off of coffee drinks and go to beer. You have only one option here: Guinness stout. You may be tempted to order green beer, but remember: beer doesn't always turn green because of food coloring.

Leg 3: 2 p.m. to 7 p.m.
By now, the bar is definitely crowded as people take long lunches and bail out of work early to tie one on. If you're doing your job correctly, the bar should look twice or three times as crowded as it really is.

By now, you may be in conversation with some real Irish people, since the person you came with has likely been taken away by ambulance. Some conversational points to remember when talking to the Irish are: Football really means Soccer, and you should be more passionate about it than you are about your wife or husband, AND The English are all piss-arsed, pig-*beep* bastards who should be lined up and kicked into the Liffey. If you remember those two points, as well at least three derogatory names for Margaret Thatcher, you can talk to the Irish for hours. You should continue to drink Guinness throughout this leg, although you may want to have another Irish Coffee if your heartbeat has become irregular.

The Home Stretch: 7 p.m. to Closing
Your goal, of course, is to be the last person to leave the bar at closing time. This will be impossible, since a blood alcohol content of .50 usually equals death, and you should be pushing a .35 or .40 by now. The only way for a true Irishman to leave a bar before closing time with honor is to be hauled away by the police. Throw a punch. It doesn't matter who you hit or why; no one's made any sense since 3 o'clock, anyway. You will be beaten mercilessly, since your fine motor control has been gone since the late morning, but it doesn't matter since you can't feel anything.

Depending on your community, the police should arrive within fifteen minutes to scrape you off the floor and clap you in irons. The final impression you leave is the most important: as you are being dragged from the bar, begin screaming that you want to take your drink with you. You will be a legend, and by now the friend who took you to the bar should have had his or her stomach pumped, and will be able to bail you out.

By following these simple guidelines, your St. Patrick's Day experience would be one you would never forget if it weren't physically and biologically impossible for you to remember any of it.

**Da Boss**

They left the fada off the a in that sign too.

You want theme park irishness though, come to dublin. Horrendous leprechaun themed keyrings and ridiculous hats abound...

**Albatross**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Since the Scots are descended from the Irish Celts who drove out the Picts...

Anyways, Albatross, you sound like a snob. All bagpipes share a common ancestry and what's more important is the craic, not the authenticity of the instruments.

I thought the MOST important thing was pretending to be Irish?

Music is my thing, so I was merely pointing out that the type of bagpipe being played is not generally used to denote Irishness. I wasn't expecting people to start crying about it.

If he enjoys his 'theme park' Irishness, given that he is indeed thousands of miles from Ireland and enjoying a festival which is now all about having a few pints then fair feckin play to him.

Having suffered you prattling saxon filth crossing the Tamar for years and bastardising Cornish traditions for your own 'oh ya, isn't it so quaint, we simply must keep it exactly as it is and why don't all these cornish people wear duckfrocks and chew corn?' twee stereotyped visions of what my homeland should be like according to the Daily Mail picture postcard you dreary mongrels all buy into, I can sincerely tell you that as long as the yanks are having a beer and enjoying themselves, I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Your drifting into personal attack territory here mate. Chill. 'Prattling Saxon Filth' and 'mongrels' is a bit strong, is all I'm saying. Plus, it's bollocks - the genetic make-up of the English is overwhelmingly Brythonic (look it up), amounts of Viking, Saxon and Roman blood are fairly negligible. There are more people descended from Vikings in Scotland, for example. English, Irish, Scottish, and...oh, go on then, Cornish people are not from different races - we're all very similar genetically.

And I'm half-Irish. I just don't feel the need to make a big fuss about it.

**Frazzled**

Mdoquistion on. Much as it pleases me to watch the Brits fight, its gets confusing as you skide into your native tongue and I need translation. Can we icksnay "mongrele" and such however?