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I've had a few...
At a LGS somewhere, using AoBR.
"YOUR BOSS GUY CAN'T KILL MY BIG GUY! ITS NOT ALLOWED!" "THE RULES SAY HE'S STRENGTH 10 AND I NEED TO ROLL OVER 11!!!" I'd rolled three 4s and a 6 "WELL I WIN BECAUSE HE EXPLODES AND KILLS EVERY ONE!!!" Got two 6s on the damage chart, he lost 2 marines and a terminator over that explosion... I didn't lose a single wound...Man I love PKs...

A few other good ones involve Marines moving 6" in each phase, while shooting and no they weren't assaulting, they were running backward. Marines can't die unless you roll four 6s in a row after the failed armour save... Yeah I've faced some noobs. The FLGS has a few regulars teach newbies and its more to the point where we spend most of our time causing tears and tantrums as we explain that SM's are not that powerful, or that Tyranids don't multiply in number with every 6 rolled.

My noobiest moment was getting schooled on how actual Complex Nobs work... In a tourney match... From an SM player who'd been playing nearly the same ork list in last year's event.

Another good one involved a friend running thousand sons:
"Alright you can take your 3+ armour save or your 5++ invulnerable save." "I'll take the invulnerable save" He did that for the whole game and wondered why he got tabled so badly by IG infantry spam. Truth be told the IG guy was yet to learn about the awesome of the pieplate.

blood reaper should have wrote:One of my first games was at the '40k beginners academy', and I was fielding Chaos Daemons.
"Fantasy isn't allowed in 40k", one (noob) kid said. So, I showed him my Chaos Daemons Codex and he called it a fake. As well as that (insolent comment) they said that because I hate Ultramarines that i should be kicked out (of the game?). I killed his commander (Captain or Chapter Master?) with skulltaker that turn and my team won the game, so I (started) laughing in his face.

I've tried my best to decipher it, still not 100% sure though.

How does your brain feel? It must of hurt do that...

It does. Luckily I actually know the guy and I frequently edit 'fluff' for him so I knew the jist of what he wanted to say. He has also told me that story before so I knew what he was trying to type.

Lord of Change wrote:I added the second story and I made my writing easier to understand.

You did, thank you!

Good stories, too.

Your welcome. My brother told me to re-write it and I thought I should edit it if people can't read my stories.

I never ask for perfection, I only ask for your best effort. If I can understand it, I'm happy.

Because I truly believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well.

SaintHazard wrote:Because I truly believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well.

QFT.

SaintHazard wrote:I never ask for perfection, I only ask for your best effort. If I can understand it, I'm happy.

Because I truly believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well.

but your post can be seen as e-penis wawing sometimes

non-english speakers can have few things wrong, nobody is perfect
but native english speakers have no excuse to write so horribly wrong their native language

ps my post prob isnt 100% perfect english but atleast i tried

Devastator wrote:but your post can be seen as e-penis wawing sometimes

How so?

Devastator wrote:but native english speakers have no excuse to write so horribly wrong their native language

I disagree. I know plenty of English speakers who get by just fine with imperfect grammar due to things like "common useage" and "vernacular," and that's perfectly fine. Besides that, "proper" English is just plain difficult for some people, and they shouldn't be penalized as a result. Like I said, as long as I can understand you, I'm happy.

I'd say that I'm a stickler for proper grammar but for some reason on this forum I have to edit my posts several times because I make so many odd mistakes.

i didnt say that anybody should write in text-speek but about failing to write properly the basics and in that way that it makes no sense

"points at blood reaper"

Guys, this is a thread about noob stories, not grammar. Jesus, WWIII isnt going to be about oil, itll be about grammar

battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Guys, this is a thread about noob stories, not grammar. Jesus, WWIII isnt going to be about oil, itll be about grammar

Awwww, they're just trying to find ways to make liberal arts degrees useful, is all.

Or communications

More noobish quotes

"Black Templars are NOT space marines. They're nothing like them!" That was just completely stupid

"I can either go for a 3+ armour save or a 5+ cover save. Hmmm..."

"My bolters ignore armour saves and can wound vehicles on a 3+" Where the hell did he get that from?!!! You can't even wound a vehicle!

Lol. Then I guess space furries and blood angels arent space marines either

No.

the way they are played is totally different.

BA are an Assault orientated MEQ army.

BT are also an Assault orientated MEQ army

SW are a close ranged shooty MEQ army with good assault capabilities.

Vanilla marines are played as a balanced army that can do anything with a slight focus on being shooty.

but they are still space marines?

Im joking. Though I guess humor doesnt type well

yes, no, maybe...

Marines have a distinct style of play from BAs and SWs.

there are 3 marines codexs, Codex: SM, Codex: DA, and Codex: BT.

everything else is a totally different army and can't be called a Marine codex because they have a different set of tactics and Special rules.


but this is derailing the thread...

BlackWaves wrote:"Black Templars are NOT space marines. They're nothing like them!" That was just completely stupid

I've had that one before.

Devastator wrote:but they are still space marines?

They are still space marine chapters

Just today at the GW.

'Kid thought that all of the space marines join the same chapter..
"Those are iron hands"<--ME
"Is this the chapter the space marines are in now?"<-- KID
"Huh? There's a lot of marines in all kinds of different chapters. They're not all the same chapter"
"yeah, but which one are they?"
"Yours can be whatever you want them to be. You can even make your own chapter"
"I want them to be the same chapter as the space marines"
wat.....

I tried to be as nice as possible, really. He kind of thought I was trying to be rude, even though I wasn't at all I had no clue what he was talking about seriously.

Later on he asked what a melta was, eve though he was using them in his army......wat? I just told him it was " eight one " LOL

SaintHazard wrote:

battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Guys, this is a thread about noob stories, not grammar. Jesus, WWIII isnt going to be about oil, itll be about grammar

Awwww, they're just trying to find ways to make liberal arts degrees useful, is all.

I think even an Arts degree course would be pretty frustrated if they had to teach grammar and spelling.

Eyclonus wrote:My noobiest moment was getting schooled on how actual Complex Nobs work...

Say whuu?

Samus_aran115 wrote:Just today at the GW.

'Kid thought that all of the space marines join the same chapter..
"Those are iron hands"<--ME
"Is this the chapter the space marines are in now?"<-- KID
"Huh? There's a lot of marines in all kinds of different chapters. They're not all the same chapter"
"yeah, but which one are they?"
"Yours can be whatever you want them to be. You can even make your own chapter"
"I want them to be the same chapter as the space marines"
wat.....

I tried to be as nice as possible, really. He kind of thought I was trying to be rude, even though I wasn't at all I had no clue what he was talking about seriously.

Later on he asked what a melta was, eve though he was using them in his army......wat? I just told him it was " eight one " LOL

LOL

I got taken advantage of a lot when I was a noob.

Grimaldus couldn't die because when he lost his last wound he got to make a leadership test and if he passed it he stayed alive. This happened every time that last wound was taken away. I think I killed him 5 times.

Ezekiel from the Dark Angels got to take a leadership test for his invulnerable save for every wound taken. This cost me the game.

After firing 3 plasma cannons into a lashed and grouped IG squad of about 20 models and doing 20 or so wound my opponent issues the dig in order in my turn. Only one dies. I still won.

Vargtass wrote:

Eyclonus wrote:My noobiest moment was getting schooled on how actual Complex Nobs work...

Say whuu?

Complex nobs aren't the easiest of ork concepts for a beginner to grasp.

Vargtass wrote:Say whuu?

This expression is even funnier given what Vargtass' Avatar is...