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This morning I went it a Games Workshop in Milton Keynes and I played a game with the beginners becaus I was bored.
Some of the younger kids were shouting at me

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED 3 HQ UNITS" "Only one is. The others are sergeants!!!"
" HE SAID WE CAN'T HAVE HEAVY SUPPORT TODAY" "Its a dedicated transport! A razorback with lascannon"
" How come your space marines are blackand orange? They should be blue and gold. Are they chaos?" " Its my own renegade chapter, but still loyal to the emporer" "Whats a chapter?"
"Wow, I've never seen those kind of space marines before!" [to my friend, who collects Eldar]

It was hilarious and frustrating at the same time, but they were beginners

Any stories you guys want to share?

In my first game, My kroot were in close combat with a drednought.

I ask "So, what do I need to roll to hurt it?"

Opponet "A seven...."

My friend was under the impression that being a monstrous creature confers instant death to its close combat attacks, so when he assaulted a daemon prince with dante, he insisted that the first wound caused to dante had instant deathed him.

Bad things happen when you remove a valuable HQ unit for no reason

"If the vehicle explodes, the unit inside can't get out, they die!"

"You can't assault because you fired an assault weapon"

" My lascannon autohits, and I don't need to roll to wound, so two marines die."

"If you roll a one or a six for a psychic test, you fail"

Poking fun at myself here. One of the first games I played was with Bjorn as an HQ. This is when I thought blast weapons were all large templates. Needless to say the necrons faced a god amongst dreadnoughts that day. A large blast Plasma cannon and minimal to no scatter. Later on after he punched me a few times we played the battle off as a great Bjorn story that is told with some exaggeration.

myself the noob in this story.

I put Lysander with 5 stormbolter terminators(noob enough?)

I deep strike him at my corner of the map, thinking he would be useful there.

Lysander did not crush skulls that day.

Played my Necrons against some newer kids a while back and when some warriors were wounded I laid them down to roll WBB next turn, the kids started saying I'm cheating and wounded models don't get back up. I explained that my robot skeletons rebuild themselves and he said his ultramarines should be able to do that. After basically having 90% of the rolls succeed the return fire decimated a squad and a half of devastators and he laid them down to roll WBB himself. I had a good laugh and said that Ultramarines aren't that powerful.

My first game I thought every unit had to roll to "activate" before they got to shoot, based on their ballistic skill. This made sense to me as other miniatures games I've played have had activation rolls, the guy teaching us the rules left, and nobody else knew better.

Most other "noob" moments are just kind of frustrating.

"Whats a force organisation chart? And why can't I field my 8 Dreadnoughts?


^---- btw, that was me when I first started

ME and my black templars: rolling Righteous Zeal everytime a unit took a wound instead of once per shooting phase.

I was crossing the table very fast....

BlackWaves wrote:

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED 3 HQ UNITS" "Only one is. The others are sergeants!!!"
" HE SAID WE CAN'T HAVE HEAVY SUPPORT TODAY" "Its a dedicated transport! A razorback with lascannon"
" How come your space marines are blackand orange? They should be blue and gold. Are they chaos?" " Its my own renegade chapter, but still loyal to the emporer" "Whats a chapter?"
"Wow, I've never seen those kind of space marines before!" [to my friend, who collects Eldar]

I don't have a story ofmy own really, but that gave me a good laugh haha

I had my friend show me the codex every time he used mindwar. And i didnt even read it all the way. Je was using (imo the cheapest thing in the whole game) againt my crappy ld Tau squad (this was before I picked an army and had a little Tau)

not exactly a noob story, but ignorence is within...

right after 5th came out.

in a tournament i Tank shocked my opponent with my Predator and he did DoG.


he insisted that the hit was on Rear armor. we were arguing and arguing, a REDSHIRT comes over and sides with HIM.

i pulled my Limited edition 5th Ed BRB out and show them. the Redshirt says "Well, people arn't familer with the new rules so we will resolve it against the rear for now"


the GW in Anihiem CA has some real zingers working there. fortunantly i was just visiting.

When I first started playing I was the Tau. I gave my commander a cyclic ion blaster and used it like a ion cannon. Needless to say, my commander decimated the ig from 60" away.

Back when me and my buddy were first learning the game, I was toying around with Chaos Space Marines while he played Necrons. Since neither of us really knew what we were doing at the time, I was running a Khorne army while he ran basically 1 of everything in the Necron codex, including the Nightbringer. So what wound up happening?

Me: Alright, I assault the Nightbringer with my 5 Lightning Claw terminators. (rolls to hit, gets a bunch)
Him: Toughness is 8.
Me: What do I need to roll to wound it?
Other Friend (Who's teaching us): Um...a 7...

Suffice to say, I felt very stupid that day. I learned that to-wound chart real quick after that.

One of my first games was a beginners and i was fillding Daemons
"Fantseys at 3 one kid said , i showded him my codex and he callded it a fake , aswell as that they said cause i hate ultra smurths i should be kickded out , i killded his commander with skulltaker that turn and my team one laughing in his face.

blood reaper wrote:One of my first games was a beginners and i was fillding Daemons
"Fantseys at 3 one kid said , i showded him my codex and he callded it a fake , aswell as that they said cause i hate ultra smurths i should be kickded out , i killded his commander with skulltaker that turn and my team one laughing in his face.

Dude. Spelling.

blood reaper wrote:One of my first games was a beginners and i was fillding Daemons
"Fantseys at 3 one kid said , i showded him my codex and he callded it a fake , aswell as that they said cause i hate ultra smurths i should be kickded out , i killded his commander with skulltaker that turn and my team one laughing in his face.

I understood about every third word of this post.

I went to my local GW again and the kids there were like "It's him again! His marines aren't blue and gold! He's a cheater!"

Its called a custom chapter and colour scheme does not affect gameplay [unless that chapter has its own codex]!!!

Then I got sick of regular space marines, and turned mine into renegades

Hit them. A lot.

See, all children need is a good beating from time to time.

They get markedly quieter once they've endured a beating or twelve.

Some one challenged me to a 500 point game and told me "to bring the best I could bring."
So, I took 2 leman Russes 2 vet squads *each with a 'nade launcher* and a CCS.
500 points even

He pulls out 500 models worth of Mechanized Eldar.

I asked him "I thought you said 500 POINTS."

He said he did.

So I went to the Game store owner about it and the person I was playing lowered it to 500 points, and I wiped him clean off by turn 4.

kronk wrote:

blood reaper wrote:One of my first games was a beginners and i was fillding Daemons
"Fantseys at 3 one kid said , i showded him my codex and he callded it a fake , aswell as that they said cause i hate ultra smurths i should be kickded out , i killded his commander with skulltaker that turn and my team one laughing in his face.

Dude. Spelling.

No kidding. You put yourself out to the world online. Have some pride, and check your spelling and grammar. When a post is nearly unreadable it loses all purpose.

I've got a pretty good one. I used to think you could only take a number of saves equal to the number of guys in a squad (since armor represents each character actively blocking one shot somehow?). I had a CSM squad rapid fire on my friends 5 termies and deal 7 wounds and I was sure that meant he took 5 saves and the 2 extra wounds automatically went through. That was before either of us had a rulebook

The entire first year i got into the hobby was a tragic noob story. Though did get an irrational hatred of Ultramarines pretty early on. Stupid smurfs.

I have two wonderful stories to tell.

The first story was from when I was on week 2 of the "40k Beginners Academy" that my local GW runs.

I was still fairly new to the hobby (but I had read my Black Templar Codex and the 40k rulebook). I was aloud to pick 1 HQ and 1 Troops choice. I picked my Castellan and a squad of 10 Initiates (SM). My opponent (who was on week 8 of the training academy) brings 20 Possessed Space Marines to the table and has a Chaos Lord as his HQ. The Staff Member running the game tells me that I can take another HQ (to make the battle more even) so I pick my Emperors Champion, and give him the vow 'accept any challenge, no matter the odds'. The battle goes fairly smoothly in turn 1, since neither side is within shooting ranged. Turn 2 brings the first problem. The CSM player claims that Possessed have FNP. So, having never read the CSM codex at this point, I let him take his FNP rolls. This means he only loses 2 to shooting, instead of the 4 that failed their armour save. Turn 3 brings more problems. The kid then claims that Possessed also have Fleet of Foot, so the Possessed run, then assault my Initiates. Then he says that Possessed also have 'Rending' attacks that count as 'Power Weapon' attacks. I then politely ask him if I can see his codex. To which the reply is "NO, I don't have the codex but ma friend duz". He then claimed that he had read the codex and that Possessed had "6 special roolz". On top of this insolence he then proceeds to call ME a cheat, and says:"I'm not cheating, you are, how come your Sphess Mehrines can re-roll failed to hits and wounds when they're fighting, you must be cheating cause Sphess Mehrines don't have that rool". I show him the Black Templar Codex and the vow, but he says that I'm making it up. (I was very frustrated at this point, since I had the codex in my hand and I had pointed to the [Bad Word] rule).

I then ask my brother and his friend (who were watching the battle, and giving me advice), Is this true. My brother fetches a copy of the CSM codex and opens it at the page with the possessed profile. We then show the page to the noob and tell him that they can only have ONE special rule from the Daemonkin Table, not 6. He then claims that we are lying and that the codex is wrong. Eventually, after summoning the help from a staff member the noob shuts up and my side (the SM) gain an additional 2 points because I knew the rules correctly.

==============================================
The next story also occurs at the 'Beginners Academy', week 4 this time. So, I knew the rules even better, I always had my Codex and Rulebook sitting on the table and I even wrote a list for my opponent so that I wouldn't be accused of cheating. This time my opponent was a 'nid player, a 'nid player who thought he knew the codex and who had apparently read the rulebook. He plonked down 30 termagaunts and a 'Tervigon'. This was the first sign that things were not going to be good. His 'Tervigon' was actually a large blob of sticky tack with 6 devourers as it's legs, and it was put on a broken 40mm base.

In turn 1 the noob forgot to fire any of his Termagaunts guns and he wanted to shoot them in my shooting phase. In turn 2 his 'Tervigon' literally fell apart (I mean the sticky tack actually gave way and the thing 'broke') and he forgot to spawn any gaunts. In turn three my Castellan slew the 'Tervigon' in CC, I then got many cries of salt from the noob as he tried to claim that his 'Tervigon' wasn't actually dead (luckily my brother is a 'nid player and the new Tyranid Codex is a codex I've read several times) I also brought out my brothers codex, showed him the profole and special rules and the noob piped down. He was beaten fairly soundly and I suggested that he should buy the codex and buy a Carnifex and convert it into a Tervigon.

This noob was quite friendly and he took my advice. So I haven't had any problems since.

EDIT: Added second story.
EDIT: Sorted out my writing
EDIT: Removed a lot of = signs for kronk

That was only one story.

And I understood like a third of it.

Maybe second story is coming?

@ Lord of Change: thanks for the edit.

Good stories. Those are great lessons on why we ask to see the opponent's codex when in doubt!

@ Lord: Nice story! I'd have been laughing all the way home that night...

As for my own story, a few people started playing 40K at my FLGS. Some of them knew me through only face and name, and that I had a reputation as being the "Bike Guy" (I like running SM Bikers, what can I say...?).

Anyways, one of them decides he wants to play me, and tells me to bring my bike list. I accept the challenge, and proceed to play a 2000 point game with him.

Now,normally when playing against beginners, I try to be as patient and helpful as possible (assuming they want my advice). If they appear to be good natured people, once in awhile I'll remind them of something that they may have overlooked (ie - not remembering to move all of his units, or double-checking their range when shooting). At any rate, during the course of the game, I drop a few friendly reminders here and there, and he takes them fairly well...

Until he decided to assault my Ironclad...

I asked him if he gave his Sgt either a Power Fist or Melta Bombs. He replies "No". I then tell him that it would not be a good idea to assault it, as he has no way of harming it. He shrugs his shoulders, and then proceeds to anyway. This happened turn 1. 2 turns of CC later, he realizes his mistake, as my Ironclad wipes out the last of his squad.

Probably not as funny as some I've read, but it was a funny moment for us, nonetheless. We both laughed at it later again that day.

I added the second story and I made my writing easier to understand.