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Couple from a recent campaign....

Our party was exploring a dungeon in some frozen wastes, at around 4th level or so. We ran into a very young white dragon, and beat on it until it ran away. I, as a dwarven cleric, decided to to try to finish it off with my crossbow before it went and got its mommy. There's a closed door at the end of the corridor we're fighting in.
DM: Okay..you'll get one shot, as it's about to round the corner and run off into the unkknown.
Me: Okay. Umm..critical miss.
DM: It thuds into the door, hard. Wait, lemme check the map...that door is trapped. With a pit trap. It activates, and the dragon falls in.
Our monk: ...Can we keep it?
Cue one quest for a helm of opposite alignment, and we've had our party mascot ever since.

Much more recently, we ran into a very heavily armored blackguard in the basement of a keep we were liberating for our own use. I ran up to burn him with a nasty Inflict spell, but botched my attack roll, leaving the charge "in my hand, for next round." So the DM decided the blackguard would remove the threat...by cutting off my hand. Which he then proceeded to roll and confirm a critical hit on. So next turn I killed him with an inflict spell from my bloody stump.
When deciding what to rename the keep, we settled on The Crimson Fist.

Party: What's in that Village across the swamp
DM: Looks at module... about 50 Ogres
Party: Let's go check it out
DM: Uggh... <gets out 50 Ogre Models and packs them into a huge mob>
Druid: I cast entangle
Wizard: I cast Fireball
DM: rolls 49 failed saving throws. 1 Ogre Survives
Monk: I run up and punch him.
DM: He's stands there chared and defiant !!
Monk: rolls critical
DM: The Ogre takes it on his glass jaw and falls over defeated.
Party: YAY !!
DM: I hate you guys...

adamsouza wrote:Party: What's in that Village across the swamp
DM: Looks at module... about 50 Ogres
Party: Let's go check it out
DM: Uggh... <gets out 50 Ogre Models and packs them into a huge mob>
Druid: I cast entangle
Wizard: I cast Fireball
DM: rolls 49 failed saving throws. 1 Ogre Survives
Monk: I run up and punch him.
DM: He's stands there chared and defiant !!
Monk: rolls critical
DM: The Ogre takes it on his glass jaw and falls over defeated.
Party: YAY !!
DM: I hate you guys...

Sounds like the GM needs new dice.

FoxPhoenix135 wrote:

adamsouza wrote:Party: What's in that Village across the swamp
DM: Looks at module... about 50 Ogres
Party: Let's go check it out
DM: Uggh... <gets out 50 Ogre Models and packs them into a huge mob>
Druid: I cast entangle
Wizard: I cast Fireball
DM: rolls 49 failed saving throws. 1 Ogre Survives
Monk: I run up and punch him.
DM: He's stands there chared and defiant !!
Monk: rolls critical
DM: The Ogre takes it on his glass jaw and falls over defeated.
Party: YAY !!
DM: I hate you guys...

Sounds like the GM needs new dice.

Or a better DM screen!

Back in the day D&D 1st edition.....I was GMing the chars in a Dark Lord war, you know the story. An all powerful evil guy trying to take over the world and the chars are all that stand infront of his evil plan. Well the charicters find the magic sword that is the only weakness of this evil guy and then proceed to kill each other off in order to obtain this weapon. After many messy rounds of bloody close combat 6 charicters lay dead and a single halfling thief survives the combat and attempts to raise the mighty 2-handed sword, his strength of 13, his small size he topples over and the sword falls on him (I rolled a nat 20 on the to-hit chart ouchy) looked up the random crit chat I have in a Dungeon magazine....00 roll Crit head severed instant death. I have not laughed so hard in ages and its still remembered by my gamers this was in 1988 and they are still mad.

We had a Grey hawk campaign that had just started a little earlier. I had a tricked out Psion that started at 10 (he was currently 11). Just walking down the streets literally the first day back in town with no one who could know my character or dislike him, the GM tells me to roll a spot check. Made a Nat 18 totaling over 30 with bonuses. The GM said "Oh, too bad." He picked up a big handful of D6s and rolled sneak attack dmg on me.

76 dmg.

My character barely had any hit points left but I didn't make the save. I asked why he was attacked.

"He looked like a badass."

The GM also had a NPC that was 2 or 3 levels higher then us and had some impossible magical gear that was made by the GM. That was the only time I quit a game.

Grimpost wrote:We had a Grey hawk campaign that had just started a little earlier. I had a tricked out Psion that started at 10 (he was currently 11). Just walking down the streets literally the first day back in town with no one who could know my character or dislike him, the GM tells me to roll a spot check. Made a Nat 18 totaling over 30 with bonuses. The GM said "Oh, too bad." He picked up a big handful of D6s and rolled sneak attack dmg on me.

76 dmg.

My character barely had any hit points left but I didn't make the save. I asked why he was attacked.

"He looked like a badass."

The GM also had a NPC that was 2 or 3 levels higher then us and had some impossible magical gear that was made by the GM. That was the only time I quit a game.

I can see why. This GM, it seems, forgot that the point of being the GM is to make sure the group has fun. It isn't a personal power trip to feed the ego, and it isn't supposed to be "GM vs. Players".

Giant Frog ate my cousin. Pulled him in the water and drowned him. I think there were like 5 characters to fight this thing. Cant roll for crap.1st level stuff is great but he was sour. Somehow I got blamed as DM. I hope he sees this.

Waagh!Balzsmasha! wrote:Giant Frog ate my cousin. Pulled him in the water and drowned him. I think there were like 5 characters to fight this thing. Cant roll for crap.1st level stuff is great but he was sour. Somehow I got blamed as DM. I hope he sees this.

To be fair, sometimes as DM's we make mistakes in how tough we assign creatures. A giant frog (in previous editions) was pretty badass for 1st levels.

My own failure as a DM was a Wererat against first levels. No one brought silver. TPK during the first adventure.

So I feel you.

pretre wrote:

Waagh!Balzsmasha! wrote:Giant Frog ate my cousin. Pulled him in the water and drowned him. I think there were like 5 characters to fight this thing. Cant roll for crap.1st level stuff is great but he was sour. Somehow I got blamed as DM. I hope he sees this.

To be fair, sometimes as DM's we make mistakes in how tough we assign creatures. A giant frog (in previous editions) was pretty badass for 1st levels.

My own failure as a DM was a Wererat against first levels. No one brought silver. TPK during the first adventure.

So I feel you.

I agree, but on the other hand as a DM you just can't let the PCs do whatever they want without consequences. I was a PC for awhile in a cakewalk campaign like that and it just stopped being any fun. It will keep them interested if they are challenged.

Had a player that made some horrible decisions. I was GMing Unknown Armies. It's an amazing and odd game.

It was the first game and I had two PCs playing. They were coming toward the end of the game and came up against an Epiduromancer (Class type that gains power from cutting themselves and can manipulate flesh, also known as a skinner). The skinner was brought under arrest by a cop in the area and he literally slapped the face off the cop.

After seeing this one of the PCs chased after the skinner, got in a car, tried to run him down, got a shotgun out of the trunk, and chased him into an alley. He pumped a round into the skinners chest and it went right through, like water in a pond.

Ok. So this character sees all these horrible things and I give him an out.

The player tells me "It's not that scary. Nothing too bad has happened yet."

Me- "This is a bad idea, you won't win this. You should go."

Player- "Nah, I got this."

Skinner touches the PC and seals his arms to his body by growing skin between the arm and torso.

The PC then proceeds to make threats to the guy who just messed him up. "When I find you I'm gonna slit your F'ing throat!" and such.

So the skinner Sealed up his nose and mouth.

grantosjones wrote:

FoxPhoenix135 wrote:

loritheladybug7 wrote:My friends were playing Call of Cthulu, and were up against the King in Yellow. The Debbie asked the gm if she still had her bottle of wine she had been drinking from- the answer was yes. (At the same moment everyone else yelled something about looking away.) She proceeded to throw the wine and her lighter on him (the King in Yellow) and SET HIM ON FIRE.

Unsurprisingly, she went insane, as he is the embodiment of insanity.

That must have been some hard wine! Was that wine cut with vodka?

Or petrol?

I had the gm read this thread... he mentioned it seemed to be dramatically appropriate in a city made out of insanity!

Played my first game of D+D (we're playing 2ed behind, as the books the DM has are new, and he can't be bothered to update them) on thursday, in a room with 4 kobolds (spelling?) took on one in single combat the other 4 party members with me tied up the rest by shooting, etc. I get first strike, miss, nearly droping my sword. The Kobold moves to attack, I get a quick attack in first, a natural 20 means the room is now covered in Kobold blood, and my partial deafness caused by an earlier noise trap is now cured. One very happy half-elf.

Remember the Killer Gezebo story?

Cambak wrote:Remember the Killer Gezebo story?

I know it, but I've never heard the whole thing! Thanks for the link

We had one a few weeks ago.

The homebrew world we're in is very elemental-fey centric, with them having near deity status. Our fire druid, who had just turned away from the big bad evil fire fey lady in the name of the young upstart who was good, decided that just prior to taking on a demonic infestation (working with the fey) pouring into the town we were currently in, he would instead invoke the name of an ancient fire elemental that worked directly for big bad red. Everyone stopped what they were doing and glanced at him without saying a word.

Druid Player - "What?"
GM - "Uh, well, okay..."
Me - "Wait, so I hear him speaking Ignan right?"
GM - "Yeah, probably."
Me - "I palm material components to cast a spell and step back."
GM - "Sure."

The druid player was still completely oblivious at this point. Mind you, he KNEW how big this thing was. He was just speaking Ignan trying to talk to something, and even out of game, I had no idea there even was a fire elemental. I got a few hits on it, but it got away before I could kill it. He on the other hand, had barely too much left to fill a small pouch. We're still wondering why he thought it was a reasonable idea.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Another one was the classic time I dropped the ongoing bad guys in our Ebberon game. These guys were level 3 and we were level 1 at the time. We were supposed to be taken captive in the encounter, we found out later. I was a Beguiler from phb 2, pretending to be a bard, one of my spells being sleep. People always give me crap for not reading the full spell before I get ready to cast it, causing all manner of fun and unintended situations. The fighter got a lucky crit on the first one. One was firing a crossbow at us at distance, and then two of them were next to the ranger. I put the ranger and one of the ones fighting them to sleep, and then ran over there. The DM assumed I was just going to wake up my comrade, and so he was planning on waking his guy up. I casually mentioned that I've started reading my spells. Then I tell them that I'm coup-de-gracing the one of them that was asleep. He was shocked and a little horrified. The fighter tackled the other guy and then I put the two of them to sleep. I offed the other one that was asleep, and then before the crossbow guy could deal with us, I woke up the other two and they chased down the last guy and we took him out.

The DM was speechless and horrified that we slew his party of guys who were supposed to harass and bring us in alive. Literally speechless for about 5 minutes.

He brought them back about 3 sessions later as ghouls working under the Blood of Vol. :(

My dark heresy game

After a few weeks of play, my tech-adept has obtained a virus and has been asked by his inquisitor lord (actually a corrupted inquisitor) to place it in a water supply of a hive. I accidently dropped the canister of virus (rolled a 1 on for activating the canister) and broke it, our party ran up to the top of the hive city. Barely made it out by cutter before the virus pretty much mutated all the populace including the highborn who were supposed to be unaffected cause they drank shipped in water.

Put about 12 insanity points on my character at the time, plus earnt our warband an exile from the inquisition.

During a Dark Heresey game the chief arbite said this as we were leaving his office; "When you boil it, gak rises to the top". Here's the conversation that took place:
Duke- When you boil gak, corn rises to the top, high in fiber and all.
Severus- Wait, Khorne the Blood God has risen to the top?
Roland- Is Khorne high in fiber?
GM- Yes Khorne is becoming the dominant Chaos God, the other gods are becoming his minions and pawns.
Severus- Please tell me you're joking. You did not just base you entire campaign on a gak joke.
GM- (says nothing)
Severus- Oh Omnissiah, no.

Quick story that still makes me laugh.


Our party was crossing a rather large lake in a small boat. We are attacked by a water elemental/monster and the druid (me) gets drug into the water. Next player in initiative order is the Paladin who heroically jumps in to save me. . .wearing full plate.

Another one! Playing as a Barbarian Half-orc in D&D, and my job was to assainate the mayor of a town (ME LIKE BEING THE BAD GUY!) So I get to the village center and find him, but fail to kill him and flee from the guards and kill most of them. A woman comes up to we and asked what happened. I replied: "That A** of a mayor sent his guards after me!" The DM said that that was the mayors wife. So I took out my axe and cut her wide open! A 20 and 13 critical hit are real nice!

I have far too many to count.... Lets see if I can think of off the top of my head.

1.Most recent. In 20 future, the group thought it would be a good idea to bring 50 of high explosives with them on a black op mission.

2. Same game but earlier. In a office, one of the players find a bottle of whisky. Later when interogating a enemy commander, this player ties him up even more, takes his pants and covers him in the whisky. He said it was a get out of jail free card as no one would think this guy was telling the truth about what happened to thier base.

3.Inspired by the DDO net adds, the DM of one of my games sent swarms of killer broccoli after us.

4. Same DM later sent us into fight the Cool-aid man golem.

5. In a 3.5 game, a druid teammate killing a kraken with a boat and the standing wave spell.
Player: "OK, I cast Standing Wave behind the boat and send in towards the kraken."
DM:"Alright, the boat rushes toward the kraken. How much damage does it do."
Player: *Math hammers it out.* "365 (Or so) D8."
DM: *Stuned and having a hard time from laughing.* "You kill the kraken. Forget the dice, you just kill it...."

6. Same player as last droping a whale onto of a group of enemies.

Edit: I have no idea how I forgot this...

In the Game of Thrones RPG, my friends, one a knight, one a rogue. (I forget the actual class names.)

One day in town, as the rest of the party is on our ship, getting ready to set sail, the knight sees a farmer selling things. With him he has a small pet pig. The knight sees this pig and wants it for himself. After all normal ways of getting said pig fail, he goes to talk to the rogue. The rogue comes back to the town later to steal the pig, but the farmer has left. He spends the next 4 hours in game looking in the country side for this farmer. Eventualy he finds a random farm with about 100 plus pigs. He tries to steal all of them, the farmer comes out. He quickly kills the farmer and goes back to stealing the herd. As he does, the farmer's family comes out, fairly clear what this nut does to them.
About 3 hours later in game, he comes running up to the ship, a trail of blood behind him, followed closely by 100 pigs, and in the distance a small army chasing after him.
Long story short, that was the last game whit that character.

Here's a couple of anecdotes for your enjoyment -

1. Basic D&D (back in 1981), my first RPG ever -
I was playing a Halfling, the Keep on the Borderlands I believe but I may be wrong, it was quite some time ago. As I investigated the edge of the pit, inside the castle's courtyard, I promptly fell in and was then attacked by (and slain, and eaten by) the Carrion Crawler there present.
And yet, I promptly created another character, and re-ran the game - this time avoiding the pit like the plague!

1. Cyberpunk (in the early 1990's) -
First fight of the game, all sat at a table in a bar. My character pulls his 17mm pistol and fires - unfortunately I fumbled and accidentally shot (and killed) the character sat next to mine. The player was NOT happy and promptly ignored me for the rest of that nights game (after he had created a new character that is!).

2. I remember being told this one by another GM -
A holier-than-thou full plate Paladin was chasing some leather armoured Goblins in a dungeon. Apparently the player was always a bit above himself and this GM had engineered a little trap for him. The Goblins had taunted the character into chasing them away from the rest of the party, who had considered the Goblins to be 'beneath them'.
He had followed them into a room, which when he entered startled a giant rat on a wheel, inside a cage, just inside the door. The wheel turned pulleys that drove gears that powered the huge magnet on the other side of the room. Needless to say the Paladin ended up upside down, stuck to the magnet, whilst the Goblins with wooden clubs almost beat him to death, before his party members finally found him and rescued the poor mite!

3. 3:16 Carnage Amongst the Stars - This Saturday (the 6th Nov) we played 3:16 for the first time. During one battle against Interdimensional Shadow Beast / Space Dolphins (!) one of the NPC's {Trooper Jenkins - the third Jenkins to join the Platoon since the game started - the other 2 had also died in battle [think Carmine in Gears of War!]} was ripped apart as an interdimensional portal was formed inside his already wounded body.
The Lieutenant instructed the Trooper that he was to stop being an interdimensional portal to Space Dolphins, which was promptly followed by the Sargeant warning the Trooper that he had better follow the Lt's instructions or face severe punishment for deriliction of duty! Needless to say, the Trooper ignored the orders of his superiors!

Enjoy!

First edition dnd, playing the tomb of horrors module, you know the one with a bazillion deadly traps right?

Rogue puts on boots of levitation and just corkscrews though the dungeon avoiding them all.

juraigamer wrote:First edition dnd, playing the tomb of horrors module, you know the one with a bazillion deadly traps right?

Rogue puts on boots of levitation and just corkscrews though the dungeon avoiding them all.

Hilarious mental image .

"First edition dnd, playing the tomb of horrors module, you know the one with a bazillion deadly traps right?
Rogue puts on boots of levitation and just corkscrews though the dungeon avoiding them all. "

I remember this module, I vaguely remember that we went through quite few characters doing this one.
If memory serves me right (which isn't guaranteed nowadays! ;-) ), isn't this the one with the Sphere of Annihilation inside the mouth of the statue?

So the first dungeon to teach the group DnD 3.5.The party was a Rogue,Mage, Paladin, and a Barbarian. The "boss" was a Kobald Mage. The mage had not used any spells and had the create water spell, The Rogue had 10 feet of rope. The door was a flimsy wooden door, and the Paladin had a bucket in case they needed to transport anything that needed to in be water. They tore the door off it's handles, tied to Kobald down and Waterboarded him.

Leofric13 wrote:"First edition dnd, playing the tomb of horrors module, you know the one with a bazillion deadly traps right?
Rogue puts on boots of levitation and just corkscrews though the dungeon avoiding them all. "

I remember this module, I vaguely remember that we went through quite few characters doing this one.
If memory serves me right (which isn't guaranteed nowadays! ;-) ), isn't this the one with the Sphere of Annihilation inside the mouth of the statue?

Yes, thats the widow maker.

The biggest wtf moment i think i was apart of was in an epic dnd campaign. the party has just reached level 30 and the dm decided he wanted to challenge us so he writes up a single level 50 character and decks him out in the best gear. i was playing a drow wizard with permanent detect magic. the group is traveling when the bad guy decides he wants to attack. i win the initiative roll and go first and cast mordenkaidens disjunction the dm rolls the saves for all the items and pass 3 of them. a sword abelt and bracers. after he cast the spell the wizard sat down by a tree and started reading his spell book. needless to say the fight lasted all of about 3 mins and my dm was not very happy with me

Over the weekend, we played a game of Paronia, and we raided a communist compound in the woods. Our polymorph got the good idea to transform into a lion and use his oratory skills to get the woodland creatures to rise against the communists. Inside the base (one of our party was riding atop the polymorph wielding a broadsword while I fought with the corpse of a "Rick the Danger Hawk"), we engaged Communist anthropomorphic bears wielding acid knuckles and led by their leader 'Smoky'. Did I mention the polymorph was wearing dimond armor?

Mordoskul wrote:Over the weekend, we played a game of Paronia, and we raided a communist compound in the woods. Our polymorph got the good idea to transform into a lion and use his oratory skills to get the woodland creatures to rise against the communists. Inside the base (one of our party was riding atop the polymorph wielding a broadsword while I fought with the corpse of a "Rick the Danger Hawk"), we engaged Communist anthropomorphic bears wielding acid knuckles and led by their leader 'Smoky'. Did I mention the polymorph was wearing dimond armor?

Every time I hear stuff like this about Paranoia it makes me want to play it more!