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Made in us
Banelord Titan Princeps of Khorne




Noctis Labyrinthus

AlexHolker wrote:"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
-C.S. Lewis


Ha! This, definitely this.

Excellent reference.

Take no shame in your hobbies, if you enjoy them (And they're not immoral), that should be all that's relevant.
   
Made in nz
Bush? No, Eldar Ranger




Procrastinating.

There is a motivational poster which shows what I think of this(I can't find it though), So I'll just post the message;
Gaming: Face it, nothing you do in real life will ever be this cool

"My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure"
"Really, well, there's twelve of them" 
   
Made in gb
Tzeentch Veteran Marine with Psychic Potential





Stafford

It doesnt matter at all.

Im 22 & I cant see myself growing out of 40k in the next decade (or ever). I actually enjoy it more the older I get. A good fraction of people at my gaming club are in their 40s & older.

Sounds like she said what she said because she knew it would hurt you. Wargaming isn't an indicator of a person's level of maturity, it's just a hobby like golf, stamp collecting, playing an instrument or anything else.

Don't let someones intentionally hurtful comments turn you away from something you enjoy.

=====Begin Dakka Geek Code=====
DQ:80-S---G+MB-I+PW40K00#-D++A+/fWD-R++T(M)DM+
======End Dakka Geek Code======

"I just scoop up the whole unit in my hands and dump them in a pile roughly 6" forward. I don't even care."

- Lord_Blackfang on moving large units


 
   
Made in ie
Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine





I'm 18 and have been playing since the dying days of 3rd ed. I may not have much experience here, but it sounds to me like your ex was just looking for an excuse to cover the real reason for leaving.

Arguing with some people is like playing chess with a pigeon. You can play the best chess in the world, but at the end of the day the pigeon will still knock all the pieces off the board and then gak all over it. 
   
Made in us
Kid_Kyoto






Probably work

If "growing up" means giving up the things you enjoy, then I hope it never happens to me. You know H.G. Wells was a wargamer, right?

I've had situations similar to this. You're better off without.

Assume all my mathhammer comes from here: https://github.com/daed/mathhammer 
   
Made in us
Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine





Sitting in yo' bath tub, poopin out shoggoths

purplefood wrote:Societies a bitch and we are all her play things...


Damn purple, that's deep


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I'm 16...almost 17, and people think i'm weird...

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/11/03 15:09:47


750 points

1000 Points
 
   
Made in us
Purposeful Hammerhead Pilot






26 here.

This is just general relationship advice: if (s)he doesn't like your hobbies, (s)he doesn't like you.

You shouldn't have to change yourself to be in a relationship.

If being a grown up means not having fun with the things I find fun, well then I never want to be a grown up. My view of no longer being "childish" is that I take care of my responsibilities before my hobbies.

- 3000
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Made in gb
Blood-Drenched Death Company Marine






By her logic ; computer games, cartoons, nice breakfast cereal or teddy bares is 'immature' (teddy bears for the wimmen-folks!)

Sounds like she's annoyed by it, maybe she should have expressed how she felt before randomly going off on one and then leaving you.
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

Synister_Intent wrote:Alright here is the deal, just got out of a long relationship because she said and I quote "...you are 27, almost 28 and still play with toys (40k and build plastic models)... you aren't worth my time because you are never going to grow up..." well I did have to edit that because I know there are children who read this forum.


Sounds like she wanted to change you, and found she couldn't. It's not about 'growing up', lots of people game and make models into old age. My dad makes stuff every day now he's retired and I dare say he would play a game if we made the time.

Maybe she feels neglected or there are other issues, do you spend too much time on the models and not with her? But if it's the very fact that 'you play with toys' that annoys her then there's little hope.
   
Made in us
Perturbed Blood Angel Tactical Marine





Age doesn't matter. I'm 45 and have been married for 20 years.

I've got two of my three kids wargamming now as well. My wife doesn't get much of a break.


If she left you over wargamming, she would have left you over something else eventually.

1500 points finished/painted
World Eaters Starting Soon 
   
Made in us
Nigel Stillman





Seattle WA

Kung Fu Hamster wrote:If a woman has a problem with your hobbies (assuming you're not obsessive about it), leave her. She's not worth it.



Never have the feelings of the prophet "Ya Boy" been more poetically expressed.


See more on Know Your Meme 
   
Made in gb
Steadfast Ultramarine Sergeant





Liverpool, England

I gave up on the hobby for a while when I was younger and discovered women, but I've just turned 20, I'm in university and I live with my girlfriend and I've just started back up with a new SM army. She jokes around saying I'm a full grown man playing with toys, but at the end of the day, if she can complain that I buy too many soldiers and paints, my girlfriend collects teddy bears and buys lots of make up, I just open the bedroom door and point at the half of the bed those animals occupy.

You're never too old for the hobby, it's just finding someone who realises that it makes you happy and doesn't mind that you only went to buy milk and instead came back an hour later with a new box of Terminators.
   
Made in gb
Tzeentch Veteran Marine with Psychic Potential





Stafford

bombboy1252 wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:
I'm 16...almost 17, and people think i'm weird...


This won't happen for long. Once you're a bit older it won't have that effect on people.

=====Begin Dakka Geek Code=====
DQ:80-S---G+MB-I+PW40K00#-D++A+/fWD-R++T(M)DM+
======End Dakka Geek Code======

"I just scoop up the whole unit in my hands and dump them in a pile roughly 6" forward. I don't even care."

- Lord_Blackfang on moving large units


 
   
Made in us
Kid_Kyoto






Probably work

somecallmeJack wrote:
bombboy1252 wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:
I'm 16...almost 17, and people think i'm weird...


This won't happen for long. Once you're a bit older it won't have that effect on people.


I'd don't know if I'd go that far. I'm 27 and am still regarded as being incredibly weird. It just becomes less of a barrier to conversation.

Assume all my mathhammer comes from here: https://github.com/daed/mathhammer 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






For OP, I am a 42 year old combat veteran, with a bronze star and other awards for service, and I love playing with my little toy soldiers, and further more I completely endorse and support your playing with them as well, its a free country and if the way she wants to measure your worth is by hobbies, tell her to pound sand.
I and my fellow soldiers love this hobby and give it the U.S. Army seal of approval.


I second that and give a positive 40 push up's...wait....shoulder a bit ruin from foreign metal...I notionaly give you 40 push up....."Holds up the permanent profile"

edit
and I'm 41

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/11/04 20:27:54


Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
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Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha


 
   
Made in nl
Decrepit Dakkanaut






daedalus wrote:
somecallmeJack wrote:
bombboy1252 wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:
I'm 16...almost 17, and people think i'm weird...


This won't happen for long. Once you're a bit older it won't have that effect on people.


I'd don't know if I'd go that far. I'm 27 and am still regarded as being incredibly weird. It just becomes less of a barrier to conversation.


If someone doesn't want to hang with me because I have nerdy hobbies, I just snort with derision and tell them to shove it. Not worth my time.

As for relationships, I'm 22, I got lucky, and have a girlfriend (3 years now) who doesn't mind my hobbies, and our hobbies combine quite well. It's just a matter of finding the right woman.
   
Made in de
Longtime Dakkanaut




West Midlands (UK)

I don't think this is a simple yes/no answer to be frank.

People, including people beyond a certain age, game for different reasons. Some are good. Others can be problematic.

If you're in it to kick-up your boots after long weeks, meet friends, have fun and stay young, there's clearily nothing wrong with it, even if you're 80 or 90.

But if wargaming leads you to fetishise your youth, avoid taking responsibility for yourself and keeps you from doing your version of "build a house, plant a tree, father a kid", it can be a sign or indicator (more than a reason) that something is amiss.

Sure, the last can be true for any escapist hobby or diversion. But for some, it can be wargaming.

   
Made in gb
Deadly Dark Eldar Warrior





Essex, UK

Age doesn't matter. How can it when many people still have the same hobbies they had when they were a kid/teen? (and that includes going out and getting lashed!). Kids like to read, adults like to read. Kids like to play football, adults like to play football. Yet all of a sudden people get uncomfortable when an adult plays a "kid's" game. It's ridiculous, quite frankly

That said, there is a stigma, sadly. Find someone a bit more open-minded and you'll find it a lot better. I'm also 27 and I'm only just getting into the game, and I must say I do feel a little out of place going to my GW store when surrounded by kids (never go on a Saturday!), simply because I've always been a bit of a socially awkward penguin, but my lot is eased slightly by being female and thus less likely to suffer the 'nerd' stigma. And when you see that kids (or adults, if you happen to be a kid) aren't some alien race that we desperately need to disassociate ourselves from, it gets a lot better

Kabal of the Balefire Dawn "The dark before the dawn, when despair is the most.. delicious"
Maelstrom cadre of the Vor'dran Sept. "For the Greater Good!"
Painting some Eldar too  
   
Made in us
Kid_Kyoto






Probably work

Soladrin wrote:
If someone doesn't want to hang with me because I have nerdy hobbies, I just snort with derision and tell them to shove it. Not worth my time.


Well, yeah, that part should go without saying. That doesn't mean that my coworkers are going to stop looking at me like I'm a lunatic when they ask me what I did last night, and I tell them about Warhammer, my plastic army men, and how they make "pew pew" noises. Of course, I do the same to them when they get into involved conversations about baseball, so I guess we're even.

Assume all my mathhammer comes from here: https://github.com/daed/mathhammer 
   
Made in pl
Kelne





Warsaw, Poland

Lobukia wrote:
Synister_Intent wrote:I don't take my wargaming too seriously. In the year and a half I have been in the hobby I have played 3 games. I don't get time to play video games much and the gym is an important thing in my life because I am trying to stay healthy. Most of if not all of my free time was spent with her. I am just really confused right now. Part of me wants to toss all my models into a fire and melt them and then part of me just wants to leave them be.


Like others have said. Your models/hobby were just a lightening rod for whatever really has her upset. HER immaturity in not being able to address issues directly and heading into the name calling/ attack your interests arena are the issue. I would suggest putting the models away for week or two, calling up some pals and forget about her.

I'm 30+, have two great daughters and my wife and I have worked it out that I game once every other week and paint my models in those moments when my daughters are asleep and she (my wife) is wanting to get "her stuff" done to (be it for work or reading her favorite book).


Listen to this, OP, that's the main reason for your EX's outburst. She knew what she was getting into, it's not like you hid your hobby from her.
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





I have read all the posts and I appreciate all the words of encouragement and all the advice. Another thing that has been gnawing at the back of my mind is she said that this hobby is a waste of money with not return on my investment and for that I am an idiot. Is there any truth to this. If I build an army can I turn around and sell it and get most of my money back or is that unheard of in this hobby?

"It's time to bring the pain Jack..." -- Uncle Si 
   
Made in au
Skillful Swordmaster






If you paint really well and have a well selected and competvie army in a traditional sorta paint scheme you can sometimes make your money back.

Damn I cant wait to the GW legal team codex comes out now there is a dex that will conquer all. 
   
Made in au
Anti-Armour Swiss Guard






Newcastle, OZ

Married 43 year old gamer.
My wife not only supports my hobby, she encourages it.

She also watches SF.
She calls me "her geek".

I'm fine with it.

wargaming is not an investment hobby.
Collecting certain cars can be.
Collecting certain wines can be.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/11/05 00:35:52


I'm OVER 50 (and so far over everyone's BS, too).
Old enough to know better, young enough to not give a ****.

That is not dead which can eternal lie ...

... and yet, with strange aeons, even death may die.
 
   
Made in us
Ultramarine Master with Gauntlets of Macragge





Boston, MA

daedalus wrote:
Well, yeah, that part should go without saying. That doesn't mean that my coworkers are going to stop looking at me like I'm a lunatic when they ask me what I did last night, and I tell them about Warhammer, my plastic army men, and how they make "pew pew" noises. Of course, I do the same to them when they get into involved conversations about baseball, so I guess we're even.

It's all in how you phrase it!
"Last night I gamed with a few buddies of mine I met online, and we got snacks."
Can become
"Last night I met with a bunch of strange older men from the Internet. We played games and one of them bought me an ice cream."
Technically both are true!

Check out my Youtube channel!
 
   
Made in us
Devastating Dark Reaper





Fort Collins, CO

Ummm... I thought you had to be 'grown' and have a full time job to play 40k. I mean, the rulebook and a codex cost more than it costs to get my brakes done.... by the time you have a decent army, you're looking at a PS3 with a respectable collection of games...


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Eldar - 2250 pts
Necron - 1500 pts

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Made in us
Devestating Grey Knight Dreadknight






Tokyo, Japan

I'm 30+ working as a medical doctor and I got my wife to START this hobby recently lol. You can find the right girl. She's out there

See my delima lol:

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/408376.page

Any girl that says things like that essentially just has no hobby herself that keeps her busy so they just attack others because it makes them feel "mainstream" or just want more attention or an excuse to go to some other guy that's the flavor of the month. Personally I hate sports and couldn't tell you the difference between one ball related event and another but it's just "mainstream" to quote the last basketball guy's stats. But hey, if a doctorate doesn't allow me to have my own opinions then they can all go *bleep* themselves. You're probably better off in the long run. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Some that actually like power armor too!

As to your other concern over hobbies:

If you can make money on a hobby, it might as well be a day job. What you may not realize is that hobbies and especially wargaming actually is teaching you some things such as critical thinking, quick decision making (it's the same thing as chess honestly), introspection (figuring out what you actually like to do yourself is a very marvelous feeling - it's like seeing yourself in 3rd person and realizing your own strengths and weakness by looking at how you run your army), understanding probabilities, developing a sense of perserverance (game is very slow paced compared to say instantly making something in a video game) and a do-it-yourself attitude (stuff breaks on models all the time, you get used to fixing them fast and that actually rolls over into fixing things around the house too, that plastic cement/tape,paint can make a big difference in how long your furniature and other electronics lasts). If you were really just concerned about money, there's a day job out there for that. Hobbies are there to round out your personality and personal development.

Also, if you are in the military, wargaming has been associated with real life victories in battle also, so there's some food for thought:

Modern wargaming originated with the military need to study warfare and to 'reenact' old battles for instructional purposes. The stunning Prussian victory over the Second French Empire in the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-1871 is sometimes partly credited to the training of Prussian officers with the game Kriegspiel, which was invented around 1811 and gained popularity with many officers in the Prussian army. These first wargames were played with dice which represented "friction", or the intrusion of less than ideal circumstances during a real war (including morale, weather, the fog of war, etc.), though this was usually replaced by an umpire who used his own combat experience to determine the results.[2]


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wargaming

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/11/05 01:39:53


+ Thought of the day + Not even in death does duty end.


 
   
Made in us
Fresh-Faced New User




Please don't post junk like this. No one thinks it's cool or funny. -Mannahnin



What?

This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at 2011/11/05 23:16:08


 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut





What fictional world do you live in again?
   
Made in ca
Dakka Veteran





Synester, no matter what any of us say, you are going to go through a bit of a grieving period and will constantly question for the next while "Is this a dumb hobby? Should I just drop it?"

I'm 28 myself. I answer no, just like everybody else.

There are girls who appreciate this type of a hobby. I'm not 18 any more, neither are the girls I date, I'm very up front and open about who I am and what my hobbies are. Constantly I have facebook status's about playing warhammer and dungeons and dragons and nobody really says anything about it (in fact found out a few of my contractors play similar games lol).

Honestly though, find a mature girlfriend who can APPRECIATE the hobby for what it's worth. It's not just a game, but it's an artistic form of expression. My girlfriend is a big supporter of it, I think she'd rather me play it than go to a casino and blow money there and have nothing to show for it

Anyway bud, keep your head high , there are girls out there who won't be so immature about your hobby.

edit: and for what it's worth, my "core group" of people that I play with (friends & co-workers) we're all between 26-35 and there's about 12 of us...

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2011/11/05 01:46:30


Total Finecast models purchased: 5
Total models without Finecast issues out of those purchased: 0
... "Finecast" 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut





The Golden Throne

Sounds like she was just being hurtful. She would have found some thing to blame either way. Breaks ups are hard man. Its not you, hobbies are OK. They are stress relievers. Take some time for yourself and some friends.

You'll be better for this. She sounds kinda mean.

I'm 38 yrs old btw and started playing fantasy games when I was in elementary school. I'm a US Naval Officer with over 20 years active duty. I consider myself well adjusted and have had plenty of ladies through the years. I've been happily married for 13 years now(when we were dating it was weird trying to explain 15 dudes showing up for D&D night).
   
 
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