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Made in ca
Heroic Senior Officer





Krieg! What a hole...

For Kriegers

Thou shall die fighting for the Emperor or be executed, for the Emperor!

Member of 40k Montreal There is only war in Montreal
Primarchs are a mistake
DKoK Blog:http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/419263.page Have a look, I guarantee you will not see greyer armies, EVER! Now with at least 4 shades of grey

Savageconvoy wrote:
Snookie gives birth to Heavy Gun drone squad. Someone says they are overpowered. World ends.

 
   
Made in se
Ferocious Black Templar Castellan






Sweden

Thou shalt not use "thou" when the proper word would be "thy" or "thine".

For thirteen years I had a dog with fur the darkest black. For thirteen years he was my friend, oh how I want him back. 
   
Made in fr
Trazyn's Museum Curator





on the forum. Obviously

Grey Templar wrote:Thou shalt not make splinter in the knee jokes in earshot of the commissar.


Fixed

What I have
~4100
~1660

Westwood lives in death!
Peace through power!

A longbeard when it comes to Necrons and WHFB. Grumble Grumble

 
   
Made in us
Storm Trooper with Maglight




Chicago

Playing "Poke the sleeping carnifex with a stick" will only result in death for everyone involved.

Guardsmen, Fire!
...Feth yeah!
 
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

moom241 wrote:Playing "Poke the sleeping carnifex with a stick" will only result in death for everyone involved.


In the 41st millenium, poking any sleeping thing with a stick will result in death for everyone involved.

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in us
Storm Trooper with Maglight




Chicago

Now now, grots sleep sometimes, and they're damn fun for poking.
-Grots are the enemy, not "Cute little stabby things"

Guardsmen, Fire!
...Feth yeah!
 
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

moom241 wrote:Now now, grots sleep sometimes, and they're damn fun for poking.
-Grots are the enemy, not "Cute little stabby things"


yes, but that grots going to remember the poking and he just happens to be next in line for Kan duty.

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in us
Speedy Swiftclaw Biker




AlmightyWalrus wrote:
shadowsnip wrote:lol if i was a guardsman I'd probably shoot the commissar for being such a douche.. I'm gonna die anyways why not go out with a bang of self respect?


...because that'd mean treason, heresy and eternal damnation because you rebelled against the God-Emperor?

Like that'd ever stop anybody. Seriously, that's the reason 40k commissars don't work in real life--they're ALWAYS first in line to get shot when a rout starts up.
   
Made in gb
Sneaky Striking Scorpion






Deep in the Webway

Grey Templar wrote:
Eiluj The Farseer wrote: Heresy


This post has been purged of extreme heretical content. A representitive of the Officio Assassinorum will be with you shortly, please stay on the line.

That made me laugh... What is it with people not being able to post about... Ummm...
Uh oh.

*Commander Jimbob KIA*
   
Made in gb
Hauptmann




In the belly of the whale.

Eiluj The Farseer wrote:It's funny the older editions, not everything moved the same. The Eldar were 6", marines and IG were 4", Squats and ratlings were 2" due to their size. Though they were many times mounted on trikes so they zoomed around anyway.

You know the squats were the ones who invented terminator armour. The squad version of the armour is hilarious... to look at


Someone reset the clock...

kestril wrote:The game is only as fun as the people I play it with.


"War is as natural to a man as maternity is to a woman." 
   
Made in us
Unrelenting Rubric Terminator of Tzeentch






In the Ring of Debris Around Uranus

You know I heard they may be bringing squats back in the new Tau codex... that would be funny.. Tau alongside Squats on trikes...

Armies
Eldar, Dark Eldar, Harlequins, Eldar Corsairs, Orks, Tyranids, Genestealer Cult, Chaos, Choas Space Marines, Tau, Sisters of Battle, Inquisition, Necrons, Space Marines, Space Wolves, Grey Knights, Imperial Knights, Dark Angels, Imperial Guard, Ad Mech, Knights, Skaven, Sylvaneth 
   
Made in fr
Trazyn's Museum Curator





on the forum. Obviously

Eiluj The Farseer wrote:You know I heard they may be bringing squats back in the new Tau codex... that would be funny.. Tau alongside Squats on trikes...


Nah mate. Squats riding battlesuits.
It'll look a bit like this


What I have
~4100
~1660

Westwood lives in death!
Peace through power!

A longbeard when it comes to Necrons and WHFB. Grumble Grumble

 
   
Made in us
Wing Commander




Firehawk 1st Armored Regimental Headquarters




I think this sums up this thread pretty well.

Aswell as the entire IG.

"The Imperium is nothing if not willing to go to any lengths necessary. So the Trekkies are zipping around at warp speed taking small chucks out of an nigh-on infinite amount of ships, with the Imperium being unable to strike back. feth it, says central command, and detonates every vortex warhead in the fleet, plunging the entire sector into the Warp. Enjoy tentacle-rape, Kirk, we know Sulu will." -Terminus

"This great fortress was a gift to the Blood Ravens from the legendary Imperial Fists. When asked about it Chapter Master Pugh was reported to say: "THEY TOOK WHAT!?""  
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Dorset, Southern England

Thou shall not etch genitalia onto thou's Lasgun. This is considered to be the spread of Slannesh
Thou shall not sneeze. Sneezing is spreading the world of Nurgle.
Thou shall not bleed. Bleeding is worshiping the blood god.
Thou shall not change the fabric of time. This is worship of Tzeentch.
Thou shall not wear the Lord Commissar's hat. This shall be punished by death via Bolt Pistol.
Thou shall not present a paradox to the machine spirit. This will be punished by tank shock with a Land Raider.
Thou shall not wear phony facial hear. This is will be purged with fire.
Thou shall not troll the astronomican. This shall be punished with mind bullets.
Thou shall not wear the Dark Angels robes, unless thou wish to become a servitor.
Thou shall not distract the Vindicare Assassin by waving to them. This will be punished with decapitation.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/01/08 20:57:40


BlapBlapBlap: bringing idiocy and mischief where it should never set foot since 2011.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:What sort of idiot quotes themselves in their sigs? Who could possibly be that arrogant?
 
   
Made in us
Wing Commander




Firehawk 1st Armored Regimental Headquarters

Oh Boreale, how we love you.




"The Imperium is nothing if not willing to go to any lengths necessary. So the Trekkies are zipping around at warp speed taking small chucks out of an nigh-on infinite amount of ships, with the Imperium being unable to strike back. feth it, says central command, and detonates every vortex warhead in the fleet, plunging the entire sector into the Warp. Enjoy tentacle-rape, Kirk, we know Sulu will." -Terminus

"This great fortress was a gift to the Blood Ravens from the legendary Imperial Fists. When asked about it Chapter Master Pugh was reported to say: "THEY TOOK WHAT!?""  
   
Made in gb
Gimlet-Eyed Inquisitorial Acolyte





UK

Liking this thread a lot here's a few for Sisters.

1.Any Guardsmen that asks you to clean his Lasgun is to be executed immediately.
2.Any Space Marine who mentions field kitchens is to be executed immediately.
3.Any Leman Russ driver who mentions maps/routes/gps is to executed immediately
4.Any Space Marine who mentions parking Rhinos is to be executed immediately.
5.Any Inquisitor who mentions falling to Slaanesh is to executed immediately.
6.Anyone who mentions short abhumans in the same sentence as Sisters is to be executed immediately.

5000pts Order of the Bloody Rose
2000pts Cadian.
5000pts.
 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Dorset, Southern England

Any player who claims that sisters are for the can is to be Penitent Engine-socked immediately

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2012/01/08 21:50:13


BlapBlapBlap: bringing idiocy and mischief where it should never set foot since 2011.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:What sort of idiot quotes themselves in their sigs? Who could possibly be that arrogant?
 
   
Made in gb
Gimlet-Eyed Inquisitorial Acolyte





UK

BlapBlapBlap wrote:Any player who claims that sisters are for the can is to be Penitent Engine-socked immediately


Damn your eyes sir that's much better +1 to you

5000pts Order of the Bloody Rose
2000pts Cadian.
5000pts.
 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Dorset, Southern England

Thou shall not claim the Grey Knights are cheesy, lest they wish to be impaled with Nemesis Force Halberds.

BlapBlapBlap: bringing idiocy and mischief where it should never set foot since 2011.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:What sort of idiot quotes themselves in their sigs? Who could possibly be that arrogant?
 
   
Made in us
Member of the Ethereal Council







Problem with flamers
SM: Sir, The Orks Are Charging
Sgt: Fire the flamer
*Fire Flamer*
SM: Sir, The flaming orks are charging.
Sgt: Oh Warp

SM: Sir, Nercrons Are Closing in
Sgt: Fire the flamer
*Fires Flamer*
SM: Sir, It didnt stop them, ANd now their weapons are boiling hot
Sgt: By The emperor

SM: Sir, The Dark Eldar are coming
Sgt: The flamer should work this time
SM: Um Sgt....
Sgt: Just fire
*Fires Flamer*
SM: Sir, They seem to be enjoying it.
Sgt: Next time you get a plasma gun

SM: Sgt, Kroot are coming at us
Sgt: Fire the plasma gun
*BOOOOOM*
Sgt: Who came up with these weapon designs?

5000pts 6000pts 3000pts
 
   
Made in fr
Trazyn's Museum Curator





on the forum. Obviously

hotsauceman1 wrote:
Problem with flamers
SM: Sir, The Orks Are Charging
Sgt: Fire the flamer
*Fire Flamer*
SM: Sir, The flaming orks are charging.
Sgt: Oh Warp

SM: Sir, Nercrons Are Closing in
Sgt: Fire the flamer
*Fires Flamer*
SM: Sir, It didnt stop them, ANd now their weapons are boiling hot
Sgt: By The emperor

SM: Sir, The Dark Eldar are coming
Sgt: The flamer should work this time
SM: Um Sgt....
Sgt: Just fire
*Fires Flamer*
SM: Sir, They seem to be enjoying it.
Sgt: Next time you get a plasma gun

SM: Sgt, Kroot are coming at us
Sgt: Fire the plasma gun
*BOOOOOM*
Sgt: Who came up with these weapon designs?


Exalted. That made me chuckle.

What I have
~4100
~1660

Westwood lives in death!
Peace through power!

A longbeard when it comes to Necrons and WHFB. Grumble Grumble

 
   
Made in ca
Missionary On A Mission





GTA

Eiluj The Farseer wrote:I
10.) Thou shall not ask a demon or demonette of Slaanesh 'Do you have protection?'


Of course!! 5++ baby!!!

CuddlySquig wrote:Ork 10 commandments

I. Ya shalt 'ave no boss 'afore me ya gits, or I'll give ya a thump
II. Ya shalt gots no idols 'uv any 'uver godz 'sides gork an mork. If ya does, I'll shuv 'em down yer throat.
III. Ya ain't gonna use me name in vain. Or gork or mork. Dat would be just stoopid
IV. Ya shalt keep da Waaagh 'n honour it 'n stuff
V. Ya watch yer mouth wif da nobz. If yous a nob, you watch yer mouth wif me. In fact, watch yer mouth wif me alwayz.
VI. Ya shalt kill, 'specially the enemy.
VII. Ya not gonna kommit adult-ry (join'in anuther boss' band) Dat'll get ya really really killed.
VIII. Ya shalt keep yer paws off'a gear dat ain't yours. Unless it's da enemy's.
IX. Ya not gonna lie to me or da nobz. I don't care if ya lie to yer mates ya squig.
X. Ya ain't ever gonna look at me shoota or klaw or wagon and wish it wuz yours, else I'll show you 'ow well it killz.


I really enjoyed that one. Tasteful yet funny and dead proppa.

 MrFlutterPie wrote:
Have my babies Anvil Industries!

 Anvils Hammer wrote:

@MrFlutterPie - That's not currently a service we offer, but you can purchase quality miniatures from us..

 
   
Made in us
Purposeful Hammerhead Pilot




Houston, Tx

Thou shalt not ask why the Ultramarines did not make it to the Playoffs this year.
Thou shalt not refer to the Ultramarines Chapter Master as Payton Manning.

Maybe you hang out with immature women. Maybe you're attracted to immature women because you think they'll let you shpadoink them.  
   
Made in us
Member of the Ethereal Council






shadowsnip wrote:lol if i was a guardsman I'd probably shoot the commissar for being such a douche.. I'm gonna die anyways why not go out with a bang of self respect?

Just Shoot him while trying to kill another enemie. He will be marked as friendly fire.

5000pts 6000pts 3000pts
 
   
Made in us
Wing Commander




Firehawk 1st Armored Regimental Headquarters

Knock knock!

Whos there?

THE ENEMEH

"The Imperium is nothing if not willing to go to any lengths necessary. So the Trekkies are zipping around at warp speed taking small chucks out of an nigh-on infinite amount of ships, with the Imperium being unable to strike back. feth it, says central command, and detonates every vortex warhead in the fleet, plunging the entire sector into the Warp. Enjoy tentacle-rape, Kirk, we know Sulu will." -Terminus

"This great fortress was a gift to the Blood Ravens from the legendary Imperial Fists. When asked about it Chapter Master Pugh was reported to say: "THEY TOOK WHAT!?""  
   
Made in ca
Missionary On A Mission





GTA

hotsauceman1 wrote:
shadowsnip wrote:lol if i was a guardsman I'd probably shoot the commissar for being such a douche.. I'm gonna die anyways why not go out with a bang of self respect?

Just Shoot him while trying to kill another enemie. He will be marked as friendly fire.


Allowing oneself to be shot by your own side is treason and punishable by death.

 MrFlutterPie wrote:
Have my babies Anvil Industries!

 Anvils Hammer wrote:

@MrFlutterPie - That's not currently a service we offer, but you can purchase quality miniatures from us..

 
   
Made in rs
Resolute Ultramarine Honor Guard





Holy Terra

Ten ways to get killed by Rogal Dorn:

1. Walk into his room and say to him(even if his nightlight is turned off or he does not have one.)"AHHHH how cute you still sleep with your nightlight on to scare away Curz?"

2. Walk up to him and say, "So how is Horus today? Opps I forget you are trying to kill each other now right?"

3. Ask him if he still cry's at night when he thinks about Curz beating him up, and then gently pat his...leg (as that is far as you can probably reach) and tell him "It will all be OK, until Horus comes." In a comforting voice.

4. If after this he threatens/looks like he wants to kill you say, "Now don't go all Angron on everyone." Then run hard and hide behind the Emperor.

5. Remind him that the Emperor always loved Horus, unconditionally more then any of his other sons, and then add. "To bad he won't ever love you like that."

6. In the middle of his preparations (a few weeks before the battle of terra)of defensive strategy for the coming battle, stand a little ways away and say in a loud whisper. "To bad he isn't as good as Perturabo at this stuff."

7. Say in a loud voice just as the battle of terra begins; "You know you don't stand a chance, the heretics out number you. Your all going to die as is the Emperor why even try?"

8. Corner him and say, "What are you really afraid of Dorn? Really I mean are you really afraid of? I mean because if I was you, I wouldn't be avoiding me, because you shouldn't be nearly as afraid of me as you are of Horus."

9. Ask him in all seriousness, "Does the Emperor know you are in love with Curz?"

10.(Continuing from question 9) No matter what his answer is nod your head and say. "I would have hurt you also if you where my brother and had started hitting on me."

GeorgesConcepts for # 11&12

11. Steal his building tools and say the blood ravens did it.

12. Wreck the thing Rogal Dorn is working on when he isn't looking, and make it look like a shell hit it. Point towards Perturabo when he asks you if you saw who did it.

OrdoThanatus #13 and 14

13: Ask Rogal Dorn "Are the Imperial Fists named that because of a sexual habit of theirs?"

14: Say to Dorn, (ONLY say this after he has finally forgiven you for saying the above things to him)
"So, what was that about bringing Perturabo back to Terra in an iron cage?" Extra points if you smirk sarcastically.

For Emperor and Imperium!!!!
None shall stand against the Crusade of the Righteous!!!
Kanluwen wrote: "I like the Tau. I just don't like people misconstruing things to say that it means that they're somehow a huge galactic threat. They're not. They're a threat to the Imperium of Man like sharks are a threat to the US Army."
"Pain is temporary, honor is forever"
Emperor of Mankind:
"The day I have a sit-down with a pansy elf, magic mushroom, or commie frog is the day I put a bolt shell in my head."
in your name it shall be done"
My YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/2SSSR2

Viersche wrote:
Abadabadoobaddon wrote:
the Emperor might be the greatest psyker that ever lived, but he doesn't have the specialized training that a Grey Knight has. Also he doesn't have a Grey Knight's unshakable faith in the Emperor.


The Emperor doesn't have a GKs unshakable faith in the Emperor which is....basically himself?

Ronin wrote:

"Brother Coa (and the OP Tadashi) is like, the biggest IoM fanboy I can think of here. It's like he IS from the Imperium, sent back in time and across dimensions."

 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Dorset, Southern England

Thou shalt not give Yarrick a knife and fork, unless he wishes to be decapitated.
Thou shalt not give Kantor a DIY Rocket kit for Emperormas, unless he wishes it to be driven with considerable force up his posterior.
Thou shalt not tell the Blood Angels they 'suck', unless thou wishes to have his throat ripped out.
Thou shalt not high five Tycho, unless thou wishs to lose his hand in the process.
Thou shalt not get in the Death Company Dreadnought's way, unless thou wishes to be crushed underfoot.
Thou shalt not feed the machine spirit paradox, unless thou wishes to be in the next battlecannon shell.
Thou shalt offer to inspect the Sisters armour, unless thou wishes to be incinerated.

BlapBlapBlap: bringing idiocy and mischief where it should never set foot since 2011.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:What sort of idiot quotes themselves in their sigs? Who could possibly be that arrogant?
 
   
Made in us
Knight of the Inner Circle






As to the commissar ones at the top, never lose your lasgun, the commissar will shoot you faster than you can say oh great god emperor i lost it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Thou shall not look at a space marine lest you want a bolt round in the face
Thou shall not look at a space marine librarian lest you get spontaneous combustion
Thou shall not look at a chaplain unless you want a benediction/or shot
Thou shall not look at....you get the idea
Never stick your tongue out at a commissar unless you want it chopped off and to be shot in the face.
Never ask a female commissar for motivation
If you are chosen to lead the first wave act honored but dig your personal grave and those of your platoon.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/01/11 04:34:59


6000 points
4000 points
Empire 5500 Points

 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Dorset, Southern England

Thou shalt not call Brother Ambrosion a washing machine on legs, unless thou wishes to have his face crushed and incinerated.

Thou shalt not sell a Space Marine's Power Armour, unless thou wishes to be excommunicated.

BlapBlapBlap: bringing idiocy and mischief where it should never set foot since 2011.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:What sort of idiot quotes themselves in their sigs? Who could possibly be that arrogant?
 
   
 
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