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I am not sure if this counts as a spam thread or not, but I was just curious what type of interesting or clever jokes you guys have ever managed to successfully (or unsuccessfully) pull off.

My all time favorite joke was a few semesters back at LSU. My girlfriend of many years had a fairly interesting Psychology class that took place in the same giant room as a class I had right before. Seeing as I had nothing better to do and I always found psych interesting I stayed in the class. Every day at the start of this 200-300 person intro class the TA's would pass out sheets of paper for everyone to write their name + sig on so they could check role. Having just read Catch-22 and being crazy like a fox, every day I would write Irving Washington or Washington Irving on the paper (for those of you who havn't read the book, basically the main character would do this to confuse officials in the army).

About half way through the semester after one of the classes one of the TA's got on the mic after the Prof left and announced that she would like Mr. Irving Washington or Washington Irving to come down and talk after class. Naturally I didn't come down, but I got a huge kick out of the whole thing. The TA asked 2 or 3 other times throughout the semester and apparently she never got the joke, but for a nerd like me it was a wonderful moment.

Anyway, so, what are the best jokes you guys have played? They can be practical or just plain silly like mine, I just want to see what Dakka has been able to come up with.

I applaud you sir, do try to avoid getting stabbed by that whore though...

corpsesarefun wrote:I applaud you sir, do try to avoid getting stabbed by that whore though...

Don't you think that language is a bit extreme?



The world's funniest joke goes like this...

"Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?"

For me its always the simple ones, like looking up when outside and saying "oh look, a dead bird" and seeing who looks

@OP - good one buddy. You could've taken it further by calling in and leaving messages at the department. There's always next time, eh?

Howard A Treesong wrote:The world's funniest joke goes like this...

"Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?"

Spoiler:

"Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"

NEIN! *shoots Howard*

Joke Warfare is against the rules now....

Khornholio wrote:@OP - good one buddy. You could've taken it further by calling in and leaving messages at the department. There's always next time, eh?

Ahh, that would have been a good idea. Unfortunately, after taking 3 of the four quizzes for the class I just didn't have the heart to do anymore. I can imagine that poor woman sitting in front of her computer with Mr. Irving Washington's scantron and answer sheet, scanning through the roster and searching in vain for that name in the system.

In the end, I kind of wish I had taken the class, cus I am pretty sure Mr. Irving Washington ended up with an A.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
EDIT: I guess I could have also started emailing the TA trying to set up an appointment but always claiming that the only good times for me were bad times for her. Major Major Major on her.

A friend of mine convinced his middle aged English teacher you have to pay for YouTube. They sent him invoices for all the videos he showed in class.

Cruel, but the effort they put in had to be applauded!!

In high school, there were some guys in shop class who had stenciled out new license plates that said "IM - GAY" and attached them to the shop teacher's car. They were on for about 3 days. Boy, was he p!ssed.

Spring loaded cockroaches christmas present.

Not so much a joke, but my friend hacked the school's internet password, and installed Counter-Strike on all the computers. Best Computer Tech class ever.

Goddard wrote:Not so much a joke, but my friend hacked the school's internet password, and installed Counter-Strike on all the computers. Best Computer Tech class ever.

Counter-strike and Farcry are on all the computers at work thanks to a bored IT Tech who had to work weekends

Revenent Reiko wrote:

Goddard wrote:Not so much a joke, but my friend hacked the school's internet password, and installed Counter-Strike on all the computers. Best Computer Tech class ever.

Counter-strike and Farcry are on all the computers at work thanks to a bored IT Tech who had to work weekends

We got Halo:CE...
My 9 person IT class versus a 30 person IT class...
My step-dad collected a piece of toast for everyday of the year when he was in uni. When the year was up he put all the toast into this guys car. It was softtop and there was a tiny gap between the roof and the window big enough for a piece of toast.

purplefood wrote:

Revenent Reiko wrote:

Goddard wrote:Not so much a joke, but my friend hacked the school's internet password, and installed Counter-Strike on all the computers. Best Computer Tech class ever.

Counter-strike and Farcry are on all the computers at work thanks to a bored IT Tech who had to work weekends

We got Halo:CE...
My 9 person IT class versus a 30 person IT class...
My step-dad collected a piece of toast for everyday of the year when he was in uni. When the year was up he put all the toast into this guys car. It was softtop and there was a tiny gap between the roof and the window big enough for a piece of toast.

*claps*
legen....DARY!!!

Revenent Reiko wrote:

purplefood wrote:

Revenent Reiko wrote:

Goddard wrote:Not so much a joke, but my friend hacked the school's internet password, and installed Counter-Strike on all the computers. Best Computer Tech class ever.

Counter-strike and Farcry are on all the computers at work thanks to a bored IT Tech who had to work weekends

We got Halo:CE...
My 9 person IT class versus a 30 person IT class...
My step-dad collected a piece of toast for everyday of the year when he was in uni. When the year was up he put all the toast into this guys car. It was softtop and there was a tiny gap between the roof and the window big enough for a piece of toast.

*claps*
legen....DARY!!!

Wait 'till you hear what he did to his flat mates rug...
It was one of those really long haired rugs the kind that look like giant Persian cats. His flatmate went away for about 5 days and so he sprinkled cress seeds on the rug and each day watered them until his flatmate came back. The rug was covered in tasty home grown cress and his mate kinda freaked out and burnt it in case it had bacteria or something on it. My step-dad then pretended to know absolutely nothing about it...

purplefood wrote:

Revenent Reiko wrote:

purplefood wrote:

Revenent Reiko wrote:

Goddard wrote:Not so much a joke, but my friend hacked the school's internet password, and installed Counter-Strike on all the computers. Best Computer Tech class ever.

Counter-strike and Farcry are on all the computers at work thanks to a bored IT Tech who had to work weekends

We got Halo:CE...
My 9 person IT class versus a 30 person IT class...
My step-dad collected a piece of toast for everyday of the year when he was in uni. When the year was up he put all the toast into this guys car. It was softtop and there was a tiny gap between the roof and the window big enough for a piece of toast.

*claps*
legen....DARY!!!

Wait 'till you hear what he did to his flat mates rug...
It was one of those really long haired rugs the kind that look like giant Persian cats. His flatmate went away for about 5 days and so he sprinkled cress seeds on the rug and each day watered them until his flatmate came back. The rug was covered in tasty home grown cress and his mate kinda freaked out and burnt it in case it had bacteria or something on it. My step-dad then pretended to know absolutely nothing about it...

O Ouch!!
Thats at least an awesome, +1 internets to your step-dad!
(now try and match him - if, of cors, you havent been to uni already )

Not yet...
I have plenty of ideas though...

purplefood wrote:Not yet...
I have plenty of ideas though...

OK, things NOT to do:
if you live in halls:
(normally mixed, boys downstairs, girls upstairs)
1. get one of your friends (of African descent) to dress all in black, climb into one of the girls bedrooms upstairs while she is asleep, and then breathe very loudly till she wakes up. The Police do NOT like to be called out for this sort of shenanigan and you never know which of your female friends carries Pepper spray.....
2. When everyone in your 'block'/'Hall' goes out to get drunk, get bored and decide to pretend to steal all the laptops in the block. The Police REALLY DON'T like getting called out for this sort of thing either.
3. Play 'hide the rotten fish when everyone goes out'...nuff said.


Note, none of these were me, but i had to share.
EDIT: 'of African descent' is not meant to be offensive in any way, but i don't know what is PC anymore, sorry :(

On April fools of last year I decided to play prank on my ex (gf at the time) I told her I was actually bi-sexual.

She started crying.


And there was no laughter either...

A few years ago, my kinda old study hall teacher went to the bathroom. I got everyone to follow my leads and we turned all the desks around. When she came back, I convinced her it has been like this all year, so she changed the seating chart

Well, the absolute worst joke I have even seen anyone do was what one of my co-workers did to his bud. Apparently these do had gotten themselves involved in a pretty serious prank war, both of them being pretty hardcore, it quickly spun out of control.

What the guy did was head to the store and bought a ton of cat food, then proceeded to drive around town (Livingston, LA is known for having waaaaay too many strays) and collect as many stray cats as he could. All in all I think he managed to pick up 13-16. He then proceeded to go to his friends house, used his key to open the door, dumped the mound of cat feed in the living room and let the cats go free.

As you can imagine, those stray cats anhillated tat poor guys house. Cats being cats, they can get up almost anywhere in a house and did a lot of damage. The guy was also cleaning cat crap up for a long time in all sorts of places. When my coworker first told me about this story I didn't believe him. But a quick drive down to his buds house quickly cleared up any doubts I had.

Drilling small holes in victims tool box, then fastening it to the floor with bolts, or, if you're feeling really mean, rivets. One chap nearly pulled his arm out of the socket...
Works with shoes too, but not if they're still wearing them obviously...

Its an old one but a good one:

Gluing a quarter to the ground in front of a vending machine.

Lord Scythican wrote:Its an old one but a good one:

Gluing a quarter to the ground in front of a vending machine.

classic!
or Bunsen Burner + small denomination coin + heat proof table -----> burnt fingers

A friend of mine keeps threatening to break into my house and strip all my screws.

In high school, for our senior prank we snuck unto the football field the night before graduation, where they were going to set up the stage and chairs. Using 7000 plastic forks, stuck tine first into the ground, we spelled out "What Forks?"

I'm a fan of Dadaist pranks.

Genius...
I think the best praks are the ones that take a lot of effort and are almost completly pointless.
They just mess with people's minds.

When i was working in catering some donkey cave i was working with put a knife through a blast oven, picked it up with tongs and snuck round to my station. He casually droped the knife, distracting me with some banalities or other before retreating to his own section... Then he asked me to pass him the knife. I had blisters for a week. He thought it was the funniest...

A friend at university used to work in a factory making soaps and he had a few good stories.

One of the workers left their tool box laying around, so they dunked it in a vat of molten soap and then allowed it to cool before cleaning off the outside and replacing it where they found it. The worker came back and spent ages trying to get his toolbox open before discovering a solid block of soap encasing all his tools, screws, nuts and bolts etc.

They also had a cherry picker lift and again, with someones tool box left laying around they welded it to the roof.

There were also the standard japes on new people sent to ask stores for "tartan paint" and "fallopian tubes" etc

Well this is sort of had to be there at that moment,but man we laughed so hard at it.

My friend and I were sitting at home watching T.V when my mother comes in.

She says:
"You know son,I amazed you really look so much like your father".

I turn around and say:
"Why Mam? Is there someone else I should look like?"

My friend literally fell over laughing.