40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**snurl**

You get opinions.

I insert Space Hulk.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get Space Ghost.

I insert hair clippings from a barber shop floor.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get an exquisitely crafted fake beard.

I insert an expired credit card.

**ZergSmasher**

You get an IOU.

I insert a Foetid Bloat Drone.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You receive a second-hand copy of The Fly starring Jeff Goldblum.

I insert a passport from a fictitious country.

**snurl**

You get currency from the same country.

I insert Alien Covenant.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a xenomorph egg that starts to ominously open as soon as it falls out of the machine.

I insert Wonder Woman's golden lasso.

**snurl**

You get a tiara.

I insert a space raccoon.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a sequel.

I insert a sword cane.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get a candy cane.

I insert a yurt.

**gruebot**

You get a Toof neclace

I insert more Dakka

**War Kitten**

You get even more Dakka.

I insert an Orange

**ZergSmasher**

You get some juice.

I insert a vial of deadly nerve gas.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get GLaDOS' joke book.

I insert an IOU.

**gruebot**

U get a Samsonite briefcase.

I insert an '84 Sheepdog

**snurl**

You get '89 puppies.

I insert a shotgun.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get a shogun.

I insert Guilliman's secret diary.

**jhe90**

you get Alpharius and a strange cactus that tries to tell you it is also alpharius

I insert battle star Galactica, classic version DVD boxset

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get nerd cred and a coupon for a half off the new version's DVD collection.

I insert a suspiciously green and spiky Alpharius.

**gruebot**

You get a vile of cactus juice.

I insert Lasher Tendrils...

**ZergSmasher**

You get a Slaanesh BDSM video.

I insert a Harlequin Solitaire.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get a deck of playing cards with only jokers.

I insert Cypher's ID.

**gruebot**

You get a clue.

I insert a C'tan phase knife...

**snurl**

You get a Swiss Army knife.

I insert bottle rockets.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get a six pack.

I insert a Gibson Flying V.

**ZergSmasher**

You get guitar strings.

I insert a grand piano.

**Chaos Legionnaire**

You get Hanon.

I insert a fidget spinner.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

You get a twitchy spinster.

I insert photographic evidence of Bigfoot at a bowling alley.

**jhe90**

You get a Tupac album with a crpytic note in a strange ancient language from south America hidden inside written on the skin of a dinosaur.

I insert 18,500 dakka posts.

**SuspiciousSucculent**

Dark energy pours from the vending machine. Lightning thunders across the sky. With a terrible crash the sky splits in two, revealing the MODs of Dakka gathered around this rip in space time, looking down upon you. As one, they give you a thumbs up, and with a sound indescribable, the rip in the sky snaps shut. The dark energy is sucked back up into the vending machine, and with a small "ding" the vending machine dispenses a note.

It reads "good job."

I insert a mis-attributed quote.