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Greetings Dakkanauts!

Now I like cars, I love cars in fact. I believe some have souls and most have a personality. But this?

Ripped from the telegraph.co.uk

A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.

As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.

But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.

His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.

Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California

Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.

"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.

"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.

"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."

He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.

"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”

Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.

One more reason to not like a Beetle I guess.

Link please?

What...How...Where...WHY?

Here's the link,

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html

Immediately got me thinking about the logistics of the thing. Can't help but wonder where he prefers to apply his manservant.

With some lube and an old sock, the exhaust pipe maybe?

There's a dipstick joke in here. It's just too obvious to directly make.

*joke about "Escorts" here *

Yup, and add a 'Cougar' gag in there too....

sarpedons-right-hand wrote:With some lube and an old sock, the exhaust pipe maybe?

Not all cars are into that, though.

That's true, you have to find the really cheap 'good runners' for that....


So I've heard......

You know you are a neckbeard when you immediately compare him to the admech...

Never have the words "Fill 'er up!" felt more appropriate.

Did the cars consent to this?

Edward Smith, Phantom Car Rapist wrote:"There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving... I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them

Ewwwww, that is wrong Avatar. Wrong, but pun-tastic all the same!

Well, he says he's not hurting anyone, but I'd be horrified to wake up one morning and find spum in my exhaust pipe.

Or the windshield, or trunk lid, or hood, specially the door handle, or the passenger rear door, or the mirror, maybe under the car if I somehow knew about it.

htj wrote:Well, he says he's not hurting anyone, but I'd be horrified to wake up one morning and find spum in my exhaust pipe.

That's what she said?

htj wrote:Well, he says he's not hurting anyone, but I'd be horrified to wake up one morning and find spum in my exhaust pipe.

It would make that early morning backfire interesting though wouldn't it?

Man, those pipes all better get swabbed for Carpes. You don't know where all those exhaust pipes have been.

KingCracker wrote:Or the windshield, or trunk lid, or hood, specially the door handle, or the passenger rear door, or the mirror, maybe under the car if I somehow knew about it.

Or on the seat, if he was prone to a little illegal entry. You might only notice after sitting there for a while.

Ok i have to ask, What is transformers to this guy? Would it be considered anthro to him? Would he be kinky from watching transformers?

I swear the stories on here just get creepier and creepier..

Here is the link on the ever reliable(?) Wikipedia entry about Mr Smiths chosen fetish.

Should you ever desire to learn more about it that is....

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanophilia

I never tyre of hearing these things, but sometimes you have to wonder what drives people to these extremes.

Edit: apologies for the mobile website link, but that's the price you pay for doing most of your Dakka on an iPhone....


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Ladies and gentlemen, Avatar720, the one man pun machine....

daedalus wrote:There's a dipstick joke in here. It's just too obvious to directly make.

There's a couple VERY obvious "manual transmission" and "stick shift" jokes we've left hanging, too.

Aren't we meant to be discussing this rather than making bad (yet at the same time punny) jokes about it?

I just hope he wears a seatbelt.