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Ok. So this is thread for your pathetic HQ death or misfortune. Because as well all know, HQ's cant survive a game intact
Ok, Librarian vs. Portal of exile. He is inside a a terminator squad. Only one to fail his toughness test.
Same librarian inside a redeemer. Trying to get him into CC. He has 9 str and 7 toughness because of a psychic test. Fails alll hits.
They loose combat by 1 wound(LC terminators on the charge do nothing) so they retreat. They spend the rest of the game trying to get into the enemies deployment zone for linebreaker.
At a moment where choosing to fail a morale test would have saved me, I realized i had Khan in my army.
My master of the forge dies, from a storm bolter.
Khan dies from a Flesh gauntlet.
SO i bet you all have better stories then mine. Sooo post them.

The last time I took Ahriman he perils of the warp'd three times in a row on turn 2 and died.

My epic failure was a Chaos Lieutenant on a bike.

Killed himself to plasma overheat (had a 2+ armor save)
Crashed into more trees than you could imagine (failed many a dangerious terrain check - even with rerolls.)

This guy never lived through a game and usually put at least one wound on himself in some unglamorous fashion.

Hive tyrant with wings and 2 scything talons. I had warp speed power so he was going to be a beast in CC.

I swoop up close to my opponent on my first turn. Next turn is going to be a massacre.

My opponent hits my flyrant with bolter fire, I fail my armor save. 3 wounds left.
I take my grounding test and fail. 2 wounds
My opponent hits and wounds my flyrant twice with more bolter fire. I roll double 1s on my armor save and my flyrant dies.

One game turn and one dead hive tyrant. It was all down hill from there.

Fateweaver and his friends cut a bloody swath through my opponent, not losing a single wound in the process.

A lone assault marine is alive within 1/2 of the table, who decides to go down fighting. He pulls out his bolt pistol before the charge and fires it into Fateweaver's face. Hits. Rolls a 6 to wound. I fail the 3++ save. I fail the reroll. No big deal, that sort of thing happens. I roll leadership and get a 10, forcing Fateweaver to fly off the table at the top of turn 5 from a single bolt pistol shot. If my math skills aren't too rusty, that's about a 0.2% chance.

Well, today my librarian decided to pull the "ironic card". I am taking a psychic test to gain the invulnerable save from the pyromancy chart. Perils of the warp, oh kinky, He doesnt have an Inv... dead. facepalm.

I had my hive Tyrant with bs/lw and st with 2 guards walk through 2 x30 ork boy squads just to lose 2 wounds and die to a retreating shoota squad.

IG

I have had my CCS decked out in all plasma and carapace, just to get blown up by my PBS's soulstrom.

I relish killing my arch rivals sanguinor in more and more embarrassing ways every game. So far hes been brought down from the bolter on a chaos rhino (that i wasnt even going to bother firing until my opponent dared me to see what would happen) and an overwatch shot from the last surviving member of a squad of noble ratlings

Chaos Lord with Daemon Weapon dies in melee against Tau Fire Warriors

It was like a 20 strong squad. Due to horrible rolls on my part and amazing rolls from the Tau player, he sustained 2 wounds. Then, when he attacked with the Daemon weapon it did that thing where it turns on you.

That's how my Chaos Lord died in melee against Fire Warriors without scoring a single kill.

My Librarian managed to whiff two combat rounds today in a row against some Khorne Berserkers. If he had gotten one wound each time, he would have lived. If he hadn't had done that, I might've been able to force a tie.

Sigh.

He's also Perils killed himself in a tournament.

Lelith approches lone landspeeder denying the final contested objective, makes the assualt up the building,

Snapshot of 2 krak and one Melta - kraks fail - melta hits and wounds - fails invulnerable - insta squished!

This was from the time that the chaos codex came out in 3ed. I don't know if it still works this way, but chaos lord + 50pts daemonic gifts = daemon prince. So, we managed to convince our resident chaos player that daemon princes couldn't take daemonic gifts (still no idea how). In the game, he jumped out of the warp, and before he took two steps he got a railgun slug in the face. Another game saw Ahriman's skull end up at the base of Khorne's throne, courtesy of Kharn. Also, honourable mention to Abaddon for weathering masses of fire before taking a wound from a bolt pistol.

Captain is running across the board for Linebreaker. Currently it was a draw, he had 1 objective, I had 1, I had Kill the Warlord and he had first blood. Am about to cross the halfway line if I roll a 2. However, the only thing that could hurt me was a lone Valkerie. This was the bottom of my turn 6 and if he got a turn there was a good chance he would kill my lone Scout on an objective with the Valkeries as it was the only thing that had the speed and guns to kill it (as he was so far back).

Now, he had an allied Libby and Assault Squad (BA), and last turn he had been the target of Enfeeble, so he was only T3.

So, he whips out his Combimelta, fires the Meltavlast, ends up taking out its last hull point, so this bugger now comes crashing down with a Strength 6, AP- large blast, thus giving me +1VP, meaning I am winning. Scattering just enough to avoid his guys but hitting ny W3 captain. He fails his TDA save and splatters under the wreckage. So my opponent gains 1VP for killing him, and +1 for kill the Warlord.

So his turn, he has nothing that can reach me scout, and vice versa, even if we move the maximum. So game over.

Sammael knocking his last wound off by his plasma cannon overheating bothered me a lot.

On my first 6e game, my opponent lost Eldrad to double perils.

He'd already been wounded once. Then on two consecutive turns he managed roll 12 and 2 for psychic tests, followed by failing his Ghosthelm both times. Arguably the best psyker in the game killed himself by trying to cast powers.

Daemon Prince wounds himself twice trying to lash a Guardian mob off an objective and getting Perils. Finally manages to charge them. Kills one guardian, takes two more wounds and dies a silly death to cannon fodder.

I had vulkan and 7 assault terminators in a LRC. At the beginning of the game I had them backed up against my back edge. Turn 1 facing dark eldar, he lances the land raider and it explodes. He then 12" a raider over to the now exposed terminators, and Lelith and a bunch of wyches hop out. Then kill probably 5 terminators, and I take down 1 with return swings. I then fail vulkan's LD 10 morale check, and then run off the board. About 700 points gone in one turn.

Here's two from the end of 4th edition.

I had just painted my Dark Angels master, Vulkan (No relation to that other green armored chapter!) and I was really happy with the paintjob. I started with him unattached to a squad for whatever reason, and standing near a Dreadnought. Turn 1, first shot of the game, my IG opponent targets the dreadnought with his Basilisk and splatters him.

Another turn 1 story: I'd spent the last week painting up a Wolf Lord and his retinue of Wolf Guard Terminators for my Space Wolves army. They were tricked out with Runic Charms, Wolf Pelts, Frost Blades, and all the other cool stuff you expect. My opponent was fielding a Shokk Attack Gun. Targets the squad, hits on target, rolls boxcars for strength and wipes the entire unit out, save one random Wolf Guard. That one remaining Wolf Guard Terminator has sucked in every single game I've used him in since.

My archnemesis' Grand Master is standing all by himself in his deployment zone on turn 1 to cast Psychic Communion to help his army come on the board. He forgets I have a Hornet with two Pulse Lasers. It flies up the board and blasts the Grand Master square in the face, giving me First Blood and Slay the Warlord.

Not a good way to start a game.

The fun thing is, later in the game, my Autarch died at exactly the same spot, getting instant killed by a bunch of psycannons. Pretty ironic, actually.

First time you put a freshly painted model on the field, it's almost guaranteed to die horribly.


Mine was a winged tyrant that was going after some pathfinders at the top of some ruins. Two failed dangerous terrain tests later I'm two wounds down. In the actual assault, I whiff all of my attacks and they put two wounds on him.

Maelstrom808 wrote:First time you put a freshly painted model on the field, it's almost guaranteed to die horribly.


Mine was a winged tyrant that was going after some pathfinders at the top of some ruins. Two failed dangerous terrain tests later I'm two wounds down. In the actual assault, I whiff all of my attacks and they put two wounds on him.

There is one time that I can recall where newly painted models did well, not counting games with entire armies of newly painted guys. I fielded a squad of assault Terminators against a Necron player, and they did so much damage he started posting very angry threads about them on our club forums! The secret was not telling him they were freshly painted until after the game

Worse I've seen was en emperors champion dying while in melee vs tau from a landraider explosion.

My funniest was when a Chaos Khorne Lord with Daemon Weapon, on a Bike, assaulted a squad of tactical terminators. He rolls Snake Eyes. Then the Terminator Sergeant punks the Chaos Lord before the PFs get to swing

Texanity wrote:Well, today my librarian decided to pull the "ironic card". I am taking a psychic test to gain the invulnerable save from the pyromancy chart. Perils of the warp, oh kinky, He doesnt have an Inv... dead. facepalm.

Thats ok, he can't take an Invuln against Perils anyway.

Eldrad and his super 3++ Fortuned self , takes 2 10 man Tac squads double tapping him and a Scout squad . An immobilised Razorback hits him with the Lascannon , I proceed to roll a 2 and a 1 .

Next game , after helping my Banshees pimpslap a Termi squad and taking care of the their Land Raider (after the much vaunted 5 man Fire Dragon squad achieved nothing against it , again ...) he proceeds to get pulped by a Vindicator .

If nobody posts something starting with "So Marneus Calgar was in a squad with a commissar" I will be very disappointed.

3 games in a row, I failed to roll a 2+ on my shadowfield on 1 die. I rolled that 1/6 3 times in a row.

Also agoniser Archon losing to tau HQ 1v1 because I failed to roll my 2+ again...

Dheneb wrote:If nobody posts something starting with "So Marneus Calgar was in a squad with a commissar" I will be very disappointed.

Especially now since that can happen in a normal game

Brother SRM wrote:Here's two from the end of 4th edition.

I had just painted my Dark Angels master, Vulkan (No relation to that other green armored chapter!) and I was really happy with the paintjob. I started with him unattached to a squad for whatever reason, and standing near a Dreadnought. Turn 1, first shot of the game, my IG opponent targets the dreadnought with his Basilisk and splatters him.

Another turn 1 story: I'd spent the last week painting up a Wolf Lord and his retinue of Wolf Guard Terminators for my Space Wolves army. They were tricked out with Runic Charms, Wolf Pelts, Frost Blades, and all the other cool stuff you expect. My opponent was fielding a Shokk Attack Gun. Targets the squad, hits on target, rolls boxcars for strength and wipes the entire unit out, save one random Wolf Guard. That one remaining Wolf Guard Terminator has sucked in every single game I've used him in since.

Probably because you need to clean his pants.

Well.... It wasn't my HQ (i can't remember any instance of my Command Squad being wiped out in pathetic or funny way.)

Space Marine Captain goes to slaughter a lone guardsmen (who survived the blast from a Vindicator....),
ASSAULT!
Captain, SWING SWING SWING SWING..... all melee attacks miss.
Guardsmen stabs with bayonet. Captain fails armor save.
Repeat process till captain died.

It wasn't even funny.

Dheneb wrote:If nobody posts something starting with "So Marneus Calgar was in a squad with a commissar" I will be very disappointed.

I think most of us have the sense not to let that happen