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Well it looks like Chaos is coming out before DAs and while DAs are by far the most mock-worthy of the major chapters Chaos is now without its own potential for humor.

So...


1 - Barring the small number of Marine defectors and Chaos Marine inductees the vast majority of CSMs are 10,000 year old heretics, insane monsters with ten millennia of experience. Therefore all CSMs are now elites, Chaos Cultists are the only troop choice.

2 - Possessed no longer roll for their abilities, however Daemon Princes do. This is because it's more fun when you don't know what your own army can do.

3 - Chaos Space Marines gain preferred enemy against Space Marines, but due to a type they actually gain it against any army with the world Space in its name. GW will have to clarify if this includes Space Orks, Space Elfs and Space Anime Fishmen as many players claim.

4 - Chaos Squats are back.

5 - So is the ultra rare Chaos Inquisitor!



6 - The d1000 mutation chart is back! Players must roll d3+2 times on it for every squad of Chaos Space Marines.



7 - The rumors of a d10000 mutation however are just an internet hoax.

8 - Uncontrollable flatullance makes a big comeback!



9 - Chaos Tau are available as allies.

10 - Chaos Androids return as Chaos Necrons.

11 - In fact Chaos can now take anyone they want as allies by putting the word 'chaos' in front of it.

12 - New Night Lords special character is called Darkus the Night Terror . Can be mounted on a Thunder Terror Bat .

13 - There's a new legion of female chaos space marines called Thousand Daughters.

14 - Chaos Sisters of Battle are in. They have a special rule where all attacks from Grey Knights automatically hit, wound and may take no saves against them.

15 - Chaos vehicles have marks. They don't actually do anything, they're just a point sink.

16 - The original Angron model has been put into finecast, as has Mortarion. At the start of each turn you keep rolling a die until you roll a 1, then you remove them from the game.

17 - Due to being so spikey, enemy units cannot gain an additional attack when charging Chaos Space Marine units.

18 - Due to being so spikey, Chaos Space Marine units must re-roll successful difficult terrain tests.

19 - Inside sources can confirm that the author is Just Dave.

20 - The rumours of Ultramarines protecting Tau where inaccurate. Instead Chaos Space Marines protect Tau. Particularly The Emperors Children who love the Tau's lightheartedness.

21 - Additional Power Weapon types are included, including Hook Swords, Stilettos, Whips and Morningstars. This creates no problems for WYSIWYG at all.

22 - Terminators and Chosen become the same entry and cost 25pts each. Players must roll a D6 AFTER deployment to determine if they are wearing Terminator (1-3) or Power Armour (4+)

23- A new fortification will be released , the Skull Fortress of Skulls . It will be an AV14 bastion sized skull with a roof on it . The new Chaos upgrade pack will be included , with options to decorate said fortress with plastic skulls , a pile of skulls , skulls on spikes , skulls on chains and armour plates with skulls . Can be used in WHFB .

24- A named Deamon Prince will be available . My source is unclear on how much or what wargear Mephiston will come with .

25- Chaos Grey Knights are an Elites choice .

26 - Two new chaos mutations, Mold Lines and Air Bubbles. Air Bubbles in particular will be highly desirable allowing the model to float in the air (counts as jump pack). Air Bubbles must be WYSIWYG.

27 - Remember that unlike other armies Chaos is not about conquering land or ruling cities. They want to spread the influence of the chaos gods, so long as they do that they win. So roll a die for your army's victory conditions before playing.
1 - Khorne Cares not from where the blood flows (if there are any aggressive acts for example shooting or charging, you win)
2 - Things Change (any anything changes after deployment, for example a model moves, you win)
3 - Things fall apart (if any model dies, including your own, you win)
4 - Give yourself over to absolute pleasure (If your opponent enjoys the game, for example by smiling, cheering or laughting, you win)
5 - Total Chaos! (if your opponent uses any randomness for example rolling a die, you win)
6 - Glibber gang goop! (You must spread Chaos into the real world, during the game the Chaos player may not speak rationally or behave sanely and instead must gibber and jump about the room until the game ends. If your act rationally at any point you lose)




Automatically Appended Next Post:

Surtur wrote:

14 - Chaos Sisters of Battle are in. They have a special rule where all attacks from Grey Knights automatically hit, wound and may take no saves against them.

28 - Chaos Sisters of Battle will get a deluxe plastic set covered in spikes and chaos stars. People wanting to play imperial battle sisters will have to get their files out.

29 - Horus comes back to life and is even more OP then Abbadon

30- Chaos gets to take a Titan as a heavy support

31- Chaos Armies can now field Hell cannons from fantasy

32- New chaos special rule. You can "pop" your sorc. in order to send an enemy troop choice into the warp and return onto the field under your control with random mark

33. The armies of Slaanesh and Tzeentch may not, for the duration of 6th edition, draw upon the benefits provided by the Marks of these two gods, nor may they use any Psychic Powers. This is because the Architect of Fate and the Prince of Pleasure are currently locked into a *really* intense game of Scrabble, and cannot be disturbed by any mortal or immortal power.

34. Fabius Bile is joined in the new codex by his brother, Fabulous Bill.

35. Chaos Undivided now gives a power to models in the form of a "Spike Save." A Spike Save is an invulnerable save, but is passed by rolling equal to or less than the number of spikey bits on the model itself.

36. Chaosception. Chaos Space Marines are the only army that can ally with itself, as you can now include Chaos Chaos Space Marines in your army as allies, thanks to the "Add Chaos to its name." rule.

37-Chaos gets a new flier, the Chaos Chibi Hawk! It's the same as the normal Chibi Hawk but comes with a sprue of spikey bitz to chaos it.

38-Chaos gets a new tank, the Chaos Land Raider Crusader! It's the same as the normal Land Raider Crusader but comes with a sprue of spikey bitz to chaos it.

39-Chaos gets another new flier, the Chaos Chibi Hawk Junior! It's the same as the normal Chibi Hawk Junior but comes with a sprue of spikey bitz to chaos it.

40-Chaos gets another new tank, the Chaos Hammerhead! It's the same as the normal Hammerhead but comes with a sprue of spikey bitz to chaos it.

41-Chaos gets a new Dreadnaught, the Chaos Venerable Dreadnaught! It's the same as the normal Venerable Dreadnaught but comes with a sprue of spikey bitz to chaos it.

42-In fact Chaos can now take any vehicle or monstrous creature in the game, they will be rereleased with a spikey sprue and the word 'Chaos' added to the title.

43-Chaos Marines lose Cults, Daemons, Princes, and Oblits.

44 - Mark of nurgle now gives a 2+ armor save with FNP

45- Mark of tzeentch now allows all units with the mark to be level 1 phykers

46 - Mark of slaanesh now gives units fleet

47 - Mark of khorne Now gives 5D6 attacks / model and furious charge

48 - Khorne Bezerkers now have jet packs and power axes

49- You may now use lash of submission on your own troops but you must roll for distance.

50-You may now have skull saves, count the number of skulls on the model and add to the inv save.

51. Doomrider becomes the 6th Chaos God appears next to the Emperor, blasts the Goldren Throne with his Meltagun, and disappears. Chaos wins.

52. Slaanesh is removed from the game as it is not very kid friendly. Replaced with a Chaos God that is formed from the flesh of innocents that die in war and its voice is the screams of countless dead children.

53: Abbaddon gains the special rule "Ultimate Nemisis". If Creed is on the table, Abbaddon suffers a -1 penelty to all his dice rolls for the game, Creed gains +1 to all his dice rolls and may outflank any number of units due to tactical genious rather then just 1. This applies even if Creed is taken as an Ally by the Chaos player and vice-verse.

54: Lucious the Eternal is no longer in the codex. He is mentioned in a small blurb that during a raid he tripped and fell into a stickmire swamp where he slowly suffocated to death. Slannesh refused to reincarnate him for failing so utterly.

55: The new Chaos codex contains 78% more spikes then the previous Chaos codex.

56. Kharn learns the real enemy is man and writes a bestselling book.

57. Grey Knights convert to Khorne.

58. Alpha Legion infiltrated and took over the Ultramarines centuries ago. The Tyranids were trying to stop a Chaos invasion.

59. Emperor’s Children snort what is left of the Thousand Sons.

60. The Legions(except the Word Bearers), having heard how amazing the Ultramarines are, take them as their new spiritual liege. Everyone asks for forgiveness and a massive repentance crusade is launched. Black Legion are denied participation in this crusade, since Abaddon always fails.

61. Lord Mephiston can now be taken as a HQ choice. The forces of Chaos agreed that anybody who lives thousands of years, has fangs, and can kick the crap out a demon prince has got to be favored by Chaos. That and they were just to afraid to say no after he told them he was in charge.

62. Khorne, after seeing the Success of Nurgle's Blight Drones, Have stolen Tau Drones created drones of their own. Thanks to My best friends Ex-wifes Nephew's Boyfriend's 2nd cousin*, I was able to get a picture of the Khorne Gore Drone:







*Note: the credit for this picture goes to Ovion.

63: Khorne armies have a new special rule. You always count as having scored "First Blood" regardless of which side obtains it. Khorne cares not from where the blood flows from.

64: Nurgle armies have a new special rule. If the player is demonstratably sick, you automatically score 1 victory point.

65: Tzeentch armies have a new special rule. If the player can play the entire game through in a demonstratably random way while displaying 2 or more distinct personalities, you automatically score one victory point. the opponent may also claim this victory point by doing the same.

66: Slannesh armies have a new special rule. If the player wears any sort of outfit that could be classified as "kinky", you automatically score 1 victory point. If the player is female then 2 points are scored instead of 1.

67: Abbadon is planning his 19th crusade. the other 14-18 failed so bad even the fluff forgot about it.

68 - Chaos Spawn will start as a swarm (new model! $15 for three bases), and if the Chaos Spawn kills a model it will change to the existing model, and if it kills another model it will change to a monstrous creature (new model $55). If you don't have the model for any of the three sizes for each Chaos Spawn in play it is considered removed from play.

69: Spawn are no longer a unit choice, but rather a random posability that may happen to any of your models. At the beginning of each player turn, roll a D6 for every non-vehicle and non-Monstrous Creature model in your army. On the roll of a 6 it is removed from play and replaced with a Chaos Spawn, Posessed fail their spawnification roll on a 4+ instead of a 6. The new spawn forms a seperate unit from the unit it was originally part of(if any existed)

Spawn are otherwise unchanged except for a new special rule that requires them to move directly towards, and assualt if possable, the closest visable enemy model. Its called Insane Rage.

70. Chaos Necrons have extremely OP psykers

71-As a cost-cutting measure the 4 'cult' marines are gone so GW no longer has to support 4 or 5 kinds of chaos marines.

72-In fact the 4 chaos gods are gone, we learn they were all just shards of the one true chaos god, known as Mh't Wh'rd.

73. Rumors from my source say Mh't Wh'rd's secret intention is to guide the followers of chaos to the rule of their true spiritual liege.

74 - Any chaos model assaulted by an enemy model or if an enemy model is assaulted by a chaos model, the enemy model must take a dangerous terrain test or be impaled by spikey bits and removed from game.

75. Due to the Unknown plans behind the Alpha Marines, they are allowed to shoot into Neighboring games. Even if the Neighboring game isn't Warhammer 40k. Any Casualties caused this way are brought over to your deployment under your control for the rest of the game.

76 - New rule: "Just like in the Movies!" Any non-vehicle model increases its WS, BS, Str, T, I, and A to 10, and Sv to 2+ Invulnerable if the opposing army is, or is allied with, Imperial fists. The same happens to the opponent's army if said army is, or is allied with, Ultramarines.

77: Heresy veteran killed: Due to the fact that the chaos marines are only those veterans who survived the Horus Heresy, their numbers are finite. Record how many CSM models are killed and submit it to GW Headquarters (or else!)
When the total number of models killed reaches 100 000, burn your codex, destroy your army and never play chaos again, for all the chaos space marines have been killed.

78: Bad Guy's Weakness: Before your chaos lord can inflict a wound on an enemy character, he must spend 1d6 turns gloating, taunting his enemy and reviewing his plan, even if the enemy character uses this time to move against him.