40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**BigWaaagh**

You get blown away.

I insert the 7 Dwarves.

**gruebot**

You get the Time Bandits.

I insert Ewoks...

**ChargerIIC**

You get an arrest warrant for endangered species mishandling

I insert a hollow golfball

**ZergSmasher**

You get a geode.

I insert Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

**BigWaaagh**

You get Jeff Dunham's hand up your ass.

I insert Snap, Crackle and Pop.

**gruebot**

You get Frankenberry.

I insert Al Franken...

**ChargerIIC**

You get an incredibly bitter drink

I insert a turkish coffee

**BigWaaagh**

You get insomnia.

I insert Lon Chaney.

**ZergSmasher**

You get an opera about a phantom (see what I did there?).

I insert the One Ring.

**snurl**

You get an angry hobbit.

I insert an ordinary deck of cards.

**BigWaaagh**

You get nothing up your sleeve.

I insert a pound of bacon.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a pound of raw chicken

I insert Batman

**ZergSmasher**

You get a playing card, which turns out to be a Joker.

I insert a time-travelling DeLorean.

**BigWaaagh**

You get a time-travelling coke dealer.

I insert Jumanji.

**ChargerIIC**

You get entry into The Game

I insert a pair of pristine brass knuckles

**ZergSmasher**

You get dusty knuckles.

I insert a cup of hot Earl Gray tea.

**BigWaaagh**

You get a melting portrait of Dorian Gray.

I insert Sam, the piano player at Rick's Cafe Americain from 'Casablanca'.

**snurl**

You get to play it again.

I insert 16 million in gold bars, thirty miles behind enemy lines.

**ChargerIIC**

You get some Bad Company

I insert an alternate timeline

**gruebot**

You get a disgruntled fanbase.

I insert a new Star Trek movie...

**BigWaaagh**

You get a bottle of James T. Kirk straight bourbon whiskey.

I insert the Crown Jewels.

**ZergSmasher**

You get a hammer that hits your family jewels...

I insert Spaceball One.

**ChargerIIC**

You get the slightly larger Spaceball Two

I insert a pair of AA Batteries

**snurl**

You get energized.

I insert a quarter and a dime.

**gruebot**

You get a bus transfer.

I insert a Suica Card...

**ChargerIIC**

You get an unregistered cell phone

I insert an arrest warrant with no name

**BigWaaagh**

You get to go through the desert on a horse with no name, it'll feel good to be out of the rain.

I insert 800 pink lawn flamingos.

**gruebot**

You get a video cassette of Jef Foxworthy.

I insert Larry the Cable Guy...

**ZergSmasher**

You get the Jim Carrey character of The Cable Guy.

I insert a rusty old car that was in someone's front yard.

**BigWaaagh**

You get Tetanus.

I insert the two old heckling guys in the balcony from The Muppet Show.